Lost in the twitter chaos and YouTube backlash to that Gillette commercial – now the 5th most down voted video in YouTube history is something that really leaps out and grabs you by our apparent toxic natures:
Take a second look. No, it’s not that this commercial doesn’t actually bother discussing anything about shaving.
Catch that? The rolling around in the dirt, trying to get the best position and hold? It’s quite an ancient and historied activity throughout many cultures across the world since the beginning of time. Wrestling. In all of it’s forms. Olympians of old and new, rituals, state competitions, any old tussle in the backyard; it’s apparently a demonstration of the ever widening examples of toxic masculinity.
For the last decade we’ve heard non-stop awareness rantings about how rape culture was literally everywhere.
It was in the gutters, Walmart, and in our very currency. Lecturer and preacher-in-chief- Harvey Weinstein, an outspoken champion of women, was there to tell us about our evil male rape desires.
Apparently so were all these other Hollywood actors, media personalities, and semi-plutocrats with lots of power and money telling us that “rape culture” was interwoven in the very fabric of our culture and lives. It reminds of me of that video where a girl was getting arrested and eventually resorted to screaming, “RAPE!!!!!”
Look at that list of Hollywood, media, and cultural movers and shakers who’ve been accused of nefarious sexual deeds and harassment. It keeps expanding by the day.
For them it was their way of life. Those bumpkins of us who rejected their screeds were labeled everything from KKK, MRAs, and Nazis to Misogynists, sexists, and patriarchal bigots who wanted anything “female” in the kitchen, barefoot, and pregnant. We just had no idea how terrible we were in comparison to where the sermons were coming from.
Surprisingly, all the problems they worried about all day and night were occurring, it was just that odious self-righteous attention was in the wrong place. It wasn’t university campuses where drunken students couldn’t remember if they “consented” or not. Nor was it the random creep patrolling the parking lots for a violent movie like attack. It wasn’t even that family member in small town america who likes guns and trucks where all of us misogynist bigots live that want to hold women down. Nope, not even the prisons where the term “Rape culture” actually came from.
It was them the whole damn time.
Credit for the inspiration for this post goes to a recent Aurini livestream in which they discussed Harvey Weinstein and the predatory actions of the Hollywood titan producer dropped a following thought bomb that got my brain waves going.
Rape culture was taking place where the people of power and influence were – Hollywood, media producers, ect. You know, where all that “A LOT of power+privilege” stuff actually exists. It was where the movers and shakers with their casting couches, freaky fetishes, and ability to turn people into stars and give them famed careers occupied in their luxury office and studios – for a steep price.
It was even in White House where outspoken fundraisers for progressives causes and politicians like Harvey Weinstein were cutting 10,000$ checks to Bill Clinton’s defense fund against Monica Lewinsky. Even his corporation was willing to tolerate his behavior by having his contract written in a way to allow sexual abuse. These sick degenerates were infected and spreading their disease from the top down. It’s an infestation.
Preaching from a high pulpit, they were banging the altar boy while accusing us of doing the same. For all the fundraising, donation to “victim” organizations, speeches for the decades, and media about stopping “sexual harassment” these rich movers and shakers were swimming in pools of victim tears for the modest exchange of a film role.
The mainstream and tabloid press who always tell us about how sexist we are had no interest in accountability when it came to gatekeepers like Weinstein. They were getting too much out of it. It’s almost as if these people don’t believe any of their equality and feminism screeds, but see it rather as a useful political weapon for sappy feminists hung up on tweeting pride for their abortions.
“But Weinstein had a knack for flattering reporters. He once had his staff put together a mock poster for “Page Six: The Movie” — starring George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson and Matt Damon as the column’s authors — and sent it to the newsroom. “
“Unfortunately, everyone likes to be around glamour, right?” said Tina Brown, the veteran New York City editor who oversaw Talk magazine, a much-hyped but short-lived project of Miramax. “All these favors and goodies were cherished by these reporters. It wasn’t worth it to them to disrupt that system.”
Projection From Pervy Progressives
The very places it wasn’t supposed to happen – the most progressive and “feminist” in America – were cesspools of rape and sexual harassment. Well, these degenerate hypocrites were so consumed by shame and guilt they had to find “worse” culprits and punching bags elsewhere. So they projected it upon the rest of the populace to alleviate their shame.
These celebrity feminists and their creepy white knight male feminists allies in their twitter tirades projected that since actual rape and sexual harassment they couldn’t or wouldn’t discuss was happening in their ivory towers of progressive safe space feminism of all places, it had to be occurring probably much worse elsewhere in the less educated, too conservative, and non-enlightened enclaves of small town america.
Sure a few here and there spoke up about it, but thanks to settlements and non-disclosure agreements, the moist hushing would continue. While they were lecturing us about victim shaming and silencing, Barbara Walters would scold Corey Feldman for “damaging” an entire industry when he mentioned the abuse.
Too much money was at stake and Corey is male so his privilege obviously trumps the abuse. For years the whispers have gone back and forth about pedophelia in Pedowood and deliberate abuse of child actors. It was shushed away. Finally, it apeaars that the dam has burst and that more hypocrite fire-breathing paragons of virtue from Hollywood are to be exposed.
Harvey is just the first. He knows he’s about to be sacrificed to the bloodthirsty feminist aztec gods so in order to remind them of his humanity and his faction loyalty, he issues an official statement that attempts to gain atonement by referencing Trump and about how the NRA is going to be a blood sacrifice- for him raping and harassing women.
“I’m going to give the [National Rifle Association] my full attention,” Weinstein wrote, adding that he would establish a $5 million scholarship foundation at the University of Southern California for women directors.”
I’m sure saying mean things about the NRA is going to make those women feel WAY better. The nerve of this man and those like him. All the harassment of women that he derided and the women’s causes he championed are acceptable substitutes because he donated to democrats. It’s okay when they do it, but if it’s one us backwards to the right of Bernie types, then the SWAT teams need to be deployed to make us pay for our supposed original sins.
Notice their thinking; they can preach about “rape culture” while engaging in it, as long as they pay the necessary dues. It’s typical of these people. They portray a sympathetic heart that supposedly bleeds deeply for humanity, while undertaking all the fashionable and courageous causes. Of course they face little backlash from a supposed hostile majority populace who cant afford to lose their jobs with “brave” public posturing. In their esteemed private lives, it’s acceptable to treat people like dirt on a personal basis because they believe in group causes, not the individuals they belong to – or don’t when considering the rest of us.
Regretfully for the last 10 years, I watched plenty of porn which aided in my frequent and fervent masturbation each day. It gave all sorts of bizarre inclination and fetishes. Porn showed me how the bodies banged, loud wails, and how many holes could be stuffed at the same time, but not much else.
Easy access on any device, a quick jerk and release, and I was back to my video games, reading, or anything else I felt like at that moment. Time was being used efficiently. After watching some gangbang for the zillionth time, I clearly knew more about getting laid. All was well. Was I lacking anything?
What was lacking is that I still didn’t know how to approach, talk, or much less make the moves on girls so any of that glorious fun looking sex would come my way. Touching and stroking would apparently moisten things up if I got to that part where my fingers and lips were welcomed, but I wasn’t sure about the rest. We saw the penetration, but not how a guy actually got a girl to desire that with him.
When I finally bust from my virgin cage and began to actually have sex with in-the-flesh girls, I ran into moments where I couldn’t get or stay hard. Instead of being as ravenous and filled with testosterone like King Kong, I would suddenly be unable to perform – something devastating for both parties involved. Imagine the excitement of knowing you were gonna get some and the confidence blow when you go limp.
What was happening?
A recent phenomena in secular and Christian circles encourages teenagers and college students to wait till their late 20s to 30s to get married. One must wait till they are financially stable, out of debt, and raking in the big bucks after finally establishing their career – which will never happen for most of us until we hit our late 30s if we are lucky.
During that time you better abstain from the sex, avoid that porn, and stop thinking about how you really want to be enjoying all that meaningless sex your friends are having while you wear your own kind of chastity belt having kissed dating goodbye. You avoid that porn as much as possible, but the addiction begins – one that’s affecting many Christian men (and women). In fact something like a third of visitors to porn sites are now women.
I was a product of this – though my dad encouraged me to get married to alleviate my desires. Of course, I was picky, selfish, immature, and irresponsible. I wasn’t looking for a wife just yet, but a “best friend” and someone who wanted to mate frequently.
Supplementing my technical “virginity” with porn, I held on to that sacred virginity as long as possible so I could claim some moral high-ground. Eventually I said to hell with it and went on my journey of debauchery. I didn’t reject my faith, but I certainly wasn’t going to go to church and bother with guilt.
Perhaps I was lucky to experience the “player burnout” rather quickly and realize that I wanted to find a wife with which to raise a family – and have plenty of sex with of course – and devote my time less to pursuit and more to worthwhile activities.
Game And Beyond
I had to learn game. Friends gave me advice. The internet gave me stories. Podcasts, videos, forum boards, and all those misogynist sexist bastards shared the details of what women wanted and turned them on, rather then what they said they wanted.
Embracing my inner confident asshole, I never looked back. My conquests came through, and my confidence rose to levels of those lucky nerds who gets the girl in those vapid and misleading movies. In my nerdy days, those romantic happy endings were in a galaxy far far away of which I lacked access
Those problems I mentioned earlier however didn’t evaporate. Lurking like a nagging and unscabbed wound, they poked at me.
I recall Davis Aurini mentioned on a stream how men with girlfriends or wives would often jerk off to porn instead of having sex with them. Their natural attraction toward the feminine body which should have given them rock hard boners was being subdued and withered.
These words stuck me, because what he described was exactly what I was doing – even when I hit my “prime”. I supplemented actual sex with porn, often preferring the porn to any “real” girl. It was easy, took less effort, and was warping my mind and ability to be aroused by a REAL woman.
When I met my wife, we had intense sexual attraction. Our secretive and risky adventures to have sex would give way for daily and comfortable sweat sessions once we got married. This has never stopped – yes we still have sex every day.
What also never stopped until recently was me using porn on the side. While me and my wife had watched some together to get ideas, I would often watch it when she wasn’t around. During her back to back pregnancies, it made her feel worse and worse as her body confidence took massive hits due to the natural weight gain of pregnancy.
In fact, at points I couldn’t get hard without watching porn before I had sex with her. As you can imagine, it made her feel like crap. Furthermore, I was often only able to oblige her to sex twice a day because my drive had decreased from jerking off to porn during the other parts of the day.
Yes, you did read that right. Sex only twice a day on average instead of more because my wife’s sex drive is that high. That’s how much she is attracted to me, loves me, and wants me. I was letting her down. Her great body that should have been driving me crazy was being ignored for people who meant nothing to me on the web.
Porn even made me lazy. I wouldn’t do any at home workouts and my “desk job” managed to pack on an additional 30 pounds making me officially overweight for my height. Still through all of this, my wife strongly desires me.
I’m lucky gentleman. Yea my game is good as are my looks, but how many men can say the same in a similar situation? My wife is just that loyal and into me.
I could have very well permanently sabotaged my relationship and marriage to get that momentary high from watching and jerking to porn.
My wife deserves more. She deserves all the sex she can get from me, regardless if I’m feeling horny or not. Porn only lowered my libido. It’s a dangerous drug that’s hard to give up. Even still, I sometimes feel permanently altered from its affect when me and my wife go at it.
It’s a lesson I will teach my two sons. I encourage all of you to do the same and be careful – even using it as a stimulus for you and your wives. Avoid it. Your wife or girlfriend has a body that you should ravish. Study hers and do exactly that.
Sometimes the old wisdom from those prudish puritan conservatives and I daresay insane raving feminists who disprove of porn for opposite reasons can be correct. Plenty of studies tell us about the ill effects of porn on men and even on women who have developed addictions. You just don’t take those effects seriously until it happens to you.
Recently I stumbled across an older article entitled “Are Men Still Hunting?”. The author while an SJW feminist laments that men aren’t the aggressors anymore when it comes to approaching women. (She follows up here.) I saw some comments and added a cordial one of my own.
What stood out were comments strewn about how women were reaping what they’ve sown because of feminism and great pleasure was expressed about it. Okay that’s true as well as bits about how approaching can be easily construed as sexual harassment these days.
An overall glance of said comments prompted a realization; many of us are too busy reveling in womens laments and pain to care about doing anything to help. All we have is schadenfreude – and it appears to be a serious addiction. That’s only a few steps away from being a miser who loves miserly company.
Not surprisingly, it was the MGTOWS who here enjoying her lamentations the most. While one phase of the Red Pill is a justifiable anger and bitterness phase, I’m starting to notice a slew of men who don’t come out of it. Ever.
Instead of any meaningful self improvement and actually finding a girl they enjoy, their primary driving factor for happiness is the misery of women – feminists in particular. They are addicted to schadenfreude. This wasn’t quite the Red Pill you thought you swallowed.
“Maybe this makes me a sicko, but I get pleasure when women put themselves into predicaments.
My favorite is when a woman turns down every good man who pursues her only to throw herself at the man who is blatantly a scumbag. Then when the scumbag man mistreats her, she whines and cries about how “there are no good men out there” and “all men are jerks”. Instead of learning from her mistake, she blames men and then REPEATS THE CYCLE!
Back in my mangina days I would try to console those women and reassure these women that there are certainly good men out there. These days I don’t care. And in fact, I find it amusing.”
Okay, yea I get it. I loathe tumblr feminism as well and do my fair share of blasting self-entitled harpies on RVF boards. And yes, I do admit sometimes getting satisfaction seeing the worst offenders reap all of the venom they’ve sown – especially male feminist white knights. The anger? I understand feeling it the lies we were told as well as the women who rejected us for Chads and now are facing the consequences.
However, don’t you ever feel a sense of sadness for them? While they’ve bought into and advocate for an ideology which will make them miserable – and those around them, I often desire to apply actual burn ointment to their 1st degree roasted souls.
Obviously, the differeing worldviews make most online dialogue with them pointless, fruitless, and not worthy of your time. In spite of this when you come across posts like hers, try avoiding another, “haha bitch” type comment that burns as well as points out what feminism has wrought.
Instead maybe just try a semi-neutral heart felt internet hug. Will another comment debunking feminism change their mind and undo years of influence under a feminist worldview? No.
Here’s a question I would put plainly to them without snark: “What do you really want?” You’ll find most women do want to fall in love. Romance. Be swept off their feed by a studly chad. The truth hurts, but it can be presented with chocolates rather then a spear to the stomach. Honey for the flies instead of vinegar.
I find that when I’ve talked to feminists face-to-face, as well as women in general that are very discouraged with their dating prospect, an honest genuine heaping of advice can get past the normal “blockers” and at least onto the plate as food for thought. When a critique is done with kindness, the openness can be shocking. (Plus it helps that they know you have no romantic interest in them – in my case being married and all.)
The Effects of Misery
When women are miserable in particular, it deeply affects them and those around them. Perhaps they deserve it – especially the slut walkers – but do we look past what they deserve for a moment?
Being constantly in a state of war is exhausting – especially when the enemy is a never ending source of social media and blog posts that are filled with venom. Some rad fems may deserve to be burned by the fire they spew, but is mercy ever an option? I’d like to believe so. That Nietzsche quote about gazing into the monster seems to apply here.
Perhaps I’m mellowing a bit, but at a certain point I’d like to see relations between men and women improve wihout some sort of Mad Max like collapse of society – even if those in question aren’t worthy. The author in question might have better luck at a Friday Night Magic tournament where she is surrounded by lots of men and almost no women – so why not point it out?
We know many women who wish they were approached by men they would find attractive. For many it won’t happen. However, we can at least make suggestions to help them make the best of their chances and interactions without malice dripping from our fangs. (Especially if we know them.)
Who knows, maybe finding a guy they fall in love with might bring them out of their stupor. It has for many a woman. Maybe she and they can be one of them – certainly a good thing for culture and society.
Patriarch. Patriarchy. Such delicious terms that always cause a firestorm when you throw them around. Granted they mean as much as the word “fascist” does these days, but they are still great words to make a point with.
I’m not a Patriarch. I don’t think anything even remotely like it is possible in the World anymore – even despite it’s original failings. That said the word brings about some worthy triggering, so I intend to use it as much as possible.
Recently, my life has become like one of those sack races at a school party. My wife is in the sack with me – almost twice a day on average – and often we are trying to hop in different directions when it comes to our plans, ideas, and how we want to spend our time that day. Our marriage is yet young. As we seek to better communicate and understand the stubborn other, a new path in life opens.
As the experts hum repeatedly, much of marriage is all about communication. Usually, you don’t start off to well in that department. The specific verbal and non-verbal manner of that communication is a different skill all in itself – one that is often unpolished.
Through the communication we stumble through now, I’ve learned something important. Your priorities will shift so much in your life – especially with an infant that much of what you did and who you were before marriage wont be the same.
If you want to be that great family patriarch of old, most of your available time in a day must be spent nurturing your family – specifically your wife in the early years and your children. Just as anything substantial in life requires much time and investment, your family is no exception. (Infants are quite the time investment when they won’t fall asleep at night and continue to cry.)
I’m now building my legacy, but that is a time and life investment that will consume my time in life. Less going out with friends to the bar. Less video game binges into the wee hours. Less wasting of time period. My hobbies now tend to include research about the best ways to get my son crawling early and my social activities tend to involve my wife. (Father and son hobbies will come as my son grows older.)
In a way, I’m being forced to be more productive and deliberate as to how I spend my time – an odd side effect of having a family that I had no clue about. It is however a welcome one, in that it forces some discipline upon you, something I’ve struggled to do over my life. Dragged by my heels to be better, so to speak.
Much of my generation is hedonistic in we view ourselves. Usually, it’s all about what makes me happy and satisfied now and anything that get’s in the way is a problem – or in the cases of some RP enthusiasts – supposed Beta behavior. What most players don’t realize is that when you get married, your wife needs your time. It can feel a bit strangling at times with a loss of space being your gut instinct, but new instincts will develop as your marriage goes on.
Essentially, if you want to build that next generation and a culture that will last your excess pleasures, desires, and frivolous hobbies will have to take a back seat. It becomes less about what makes you happy and more about what is necessary for the success of your family. I’m selfish and I’ll admit it, a hard RP to swallow is that what makes me happy isn’t necessarily going to make my wife happy or even my children. (Have another one on the way in that department.) Basically, we mature as men because we must.
Some men might take it as the nail in their coffins of their prior lives, but it simply means that a transition is taking place. What I’m realizing now is that if you want a family, a legacy, love, growing old together, and many of the usual romantic dreams, much of your bachelor self will shed it’s skin permanently. So in order to get your new skin, you have to shed the old.
I no longer have as much time for video games and my usual pleasures of flesh. Instead, I often limit them to an hour a day at most so I can focus on spending time with my wife – who needs my attention and help even more so being that I knocked her up again.
Remember, marriage is a different adventure and the “skills” needed are far different from the arsenal of most players. You will have to stop being a selfish bastard where everything is about you, while maintaining the self-confidence and fervor of an Olympian. Finding that key balance becomes as valuable as gold and a key component into becoming that patriarch.
In a young marriage, your wife is needy – as is mine – specifically when it comes to pregnancy. When you decide to have your first kid, pregnancy adds another element to that neediness. We hear alot about shit-tests but not alot about comfort tests.
I recall a conversation with my wife when she was in tears about how I didn’t comfort her, wrap my arms around her, and tell her everything was going to be okay when our son was in the NICU for 3 weeks after he was born. She wanted me to hold her in my arms and not let her go. I was supposed to be strong, but while I thought I was, I didn’t pass that strength on to her.
Logically I thought that she already knew she had my support – and I was coming to be with her everyday in the evening when I got off work. (Remember how powerful and dominant a woman’s emotions are, especially after birth.) However, I didn’t verbally communicate my thoughts on how she was feeling and how everything was going to be fine. I probably wasn’t physically affectionate enough either and obviously we couldn’t bond and come together through sex in the weeks after birth. (You really do have to be on your game and making it an intrinsic part of yourself.)
This was a hard lesson for me to learn. Men… we often have to learn how to love – both in how we show and how we do it. Love is what girls so desperately need, just as respect is something men need when it comes to marriage.
Now do you lose who you are? Everything that makes you… you?
Your family becomes you.
I as a man and father, and my wife as a woman and a mother, are now putting our feet on the next step up the stairs of life. It’s all happening very fast as is the excitement about it. About 3 months ago, we moved down to Missouri. I won’t say where, but I do like what I see down here. Housing is cheap – though so are wages.
(Luckily, I’ve got a job in which I can make a good amount of money. It’s a sale job, and I will essentially have to internalize game in a sales oriented manner. )
Arguably, it’s probably one of the most important skills a man can learn that he can apply to many other aspects of life. I never realized its application that many had waxed eloquently about until training for my current job. (Also, a quick pro-tip I’ve learned: He who complains the most gets the most. Furthermore, me and my wife are going to be moving into an apartment, which is will be our first place on our own with each other.
I often want to help men who struggle with women out – as I see who I was in them. At the same time, I’m also realizing that men with families really do need other family men to come together to eat, drink, converse, and to sharpen each other’s lives. The conversation at the table really will differ then it did in our bachelor days. Behold, the next step in life.
I had the fortune of finding an article posted about 4 weeks ago on “We Hunted The Mammoth” in which the sites owner and noted male feminist – David Futrelle – promoted an article on The New Statesmen about how liberating men sexually would bring about an end to the problems women face concerning sexism.
Liberation usually sounds like a phenomenal idea. Well, what kind of liberation is the the author – a dominatrix by trade named Margaret Corvid – talking about?
Let’s get started. There are plenty of anticipated attacks on MRA’s, the manosphere, and the ever present Patriarchy. Before we go any further, she makes a very important point about feminism and how it relates to men.
“As feminists, we rightfully put the interests of women first, and we are skeptical of ostensibly feminist arguments that appeal to men’s interests.”
Straight from the horses mouth. It’s statements like this that should convince anyone with a pair of testicles that any men’s issues the feminist movement claims to advocate for are at most lip service. When it comes to the lip service, she barely even does that with her suggested feminist skepticism of anything that appeals to “men’s interests.”
The sexual liberation she talks about later will specifically not appeal to the interest of most men in the general population. Throughout this piece she implies, but never explicit states this idea that men should be vulnerable during sex. However, the kind of vulnerability she refers to is that of men being dominated or “penetrated”.
“He is allowed to penetrate, but not to be penetrated; to control, but not to surrender; to enjoy the grace, sensuality, and sex appeal of a woman, but never to wish to express these traits himself.”
Okay, fine. What disturbs me is that she continually suggests that men who don’t enjoy or being dominated are somehow suppressing their full sexuality. Perhaps its not fear preventing an embrace of this kind of sexuality, but rather a majority of men who really don’t want anything put up their ass.
Even now, what feminism asks of men – that they be conscious of their privilege and respect the agency of women – can lead them to truly satisfying intimate relationships.
Notice how she mentions that being aware of privilege and “respecting the agency of women” whatever that actually means and/or exactly how one goes about that somehow equates to satisfying intimate relationships.
Think about that. Since when has checking, being aware, and acknowledging, one’s privilege automatically translated to successful intimacy in relationships? Acknowledging your male privilege isn’t going to get your wife or girl-friend to put out more. It’s not going to land you any dates.
In fact, I would suggest that “privileged” checking in front of women for well intentioned reasons of modern SJWs communicate a lack of confidence and assertiveness. It is the equivalent of undermining yourself – which essentially destroys your chances of landing that date.
Later she makes a similar claim in the ending to this piece:
“For men, a true feminism offers liberation and sexual fulfillment, through the very process of coming to a fuller understanding of their privileges, and burdens, under patriarchy. “
Quite an assumption. Again, how? Having a full and thorough understanding of your burdens doesn’t translate to liberation and/or sexual fulfillment.
“We may not be able to reach the most hateful misogynists, but feminists must directly attack the false ideology of men’s rights. We must offer a real answer for men consumed by anxiety, and especially those who feel a sense of sexual frustration.“
Yet again, I don’t think the answer to sexual frustration for many men is being dominated and/or having things shoved up their ass. Being dominated by a dominatrix might appeal to a small segment of the male population, but what about the rest of us?
“It is feminism that offers men the chance at a sexually fulfilling life. When rape culture is extinguished, when patriarchy subsides, all genders can realize their full sexual expression in safety.”
Checking our privilege and patriarchal burdens doesn’t seem to give us a clear picture and game-plan for improving our sex lives if it doesn’t involve anal penetration by a foreign object. Being forced to rain in our “toxic masculinity” in concern to our sexuality as feminism demands also doesn’t seem to sound like a fulfilling proposition.
I’ll make a brave and shocking assertion; a fulfilling sex life for men can’t be achieved by concentrating specifically on the issues of women and ignoring those of men which today’s radical feminists seem to do quite often.
We are often told in life that many things are “bad”. Some are obvious – theft, rape, murder, ect. Others such as “cat-calling” are not. I ran into this article on XoJane in which this smoking hot babe was catcalled. Determined to do something about it, she confronted every last one of them. Either there were only 3 encounters worth mentioning, or she was only catcalled three times – group encounter for one of those – in a week.
Something that kept popping up in my mind: Why actually is catcalling bad? Most men – and I use that concept sparingly – know that it often doesn’t work, hence it usually is employed as more of a “I’m messing with you” kind of interaction. Well these days, almost any kind of interaction can become undesirable, offensive, and even become capable of being defined as harassment.
Catcalling has been a bullet point for most of today’s modern first-world feminists. We know they don’t like it, but they never have really set up a “doctrinal statement” with all the trimmings as to why catcalling is offensive. (1) “I’m offended”, is not an actual valid argument. Why should we care? Just to get the cycle rolling, perhaps we are offended that they are offended. (2) Just because certain women are offended by it does not actually make it offensive. (3) Interactions that make you uncomfortable aren’t inherently wrong.
Her main “argument” against catcalling seemed to be that it makes women feel afraid:
How can you explain to a stranger that a compliment makes us feel afraid? That words like gorgeous and beautiful sound like threats when we hear them whispered to us on an empty street late at night? That we feel uneasy, objectified, and uncomfortable when you say this to us while we’re going about our normal routine, not asking to be judged on our appearance out loud? That this thing they do for fun is at the expense of our peace of mind?
So if something makes someone afraid, we shouldn’t say it? Where exactly is the line drawn? So what if it causes fear? What if this women actually causes fear just by the sound of her voice?
That’s not a quick chat you can have with a stranger on a street corner. It needs to be part of a bigger conversation, earlier on, by the people who are in charge of shaping you into a respectable human. When we’re being taught as young women not to respond to this kind of attention, we need to also be teaching our young men not to engage in this behavior in the first place.
Until she and the rest of these radical 3rd wave feminists provide a thorough methodology as well as a strong philosophical foundation for why young men shouldn’t cat call, we should ignore and dismiss her demands as illogical and irrational. In fact, I’ve talked to girls who claim they like and enjoy cat-calling. While it is a somewhat mundane form of validation, why should I encourage others to acquiesce to the demands of this writer vs these other girls I’ve talked to? It’s also not just the ladies I’ve talked to but ladies online, including self-identifying feminists. Decisions, decisions.
I very much dislike in today’s polarized and vitriolic climate. I also take issue with the constant refusal and automatic dismissal of people based on what they identify with as well as the labels others give them – yes that includes radical feminists and all other “labels” I disprove of. We should never become these irate walking narcissists who will only associate with others who think as we do. However, we must be careful as well.
In the end, if a woman confronts you about “catcalling” its an immediate, glaring, and vibrant red flag that you should ignore her and refuse to converse with her any further. Walk away, and if she refuses to stop following you, threaten to call the police. The chances are high she could be a radical feminists who has a score to settle with the male half of our species and defining your words as “harassment” is her logical next step. When you run into the Jezebels of the world, it’s best to avoid them, or face their wrath in which the ends always justify the means.