Thanksgiving Sales and Black Friday Obsession Is Our Fault

We Are Our Own Worst Enemies

Black Friday and specifically shopping during Thanksgiving dinner itself wouldn’t be the obsession it is if it weren’t for you.  If your family time was more important to you than a new flatscreen, less stores would be open during the time.

You selfish thankless bastards wouldn’t know that Thanksgiving was supposed to be special time to give thanks and be grateful with family and friends or go Black Friday shopping and fight with people over electronics at your local Walmart while shirking that family time.

While Black Friday participation was thankfully down this year among thirsty shoppers by about 20%, the consumer culture that it feeds is alive and sucking the wallets and time of the afflicted.   Yes, more stores closed, but still plenty were open.  This doesn’t even include the various warehouses where we stick our seasonal wage slaves.

Everyone – regardless of their ideology – can put their finger on this notion that something is deeply wrong, but most haven’t dug deep enough.  Simply put, we can’t fix ANY of our problems until we fix our people and the culture they create.

We can’t build meaningful relationships that transcend all the difficulties of life if we will spend that time on obsessing over Amazon details or shopping at Walmart instead of with our families over some tasty turkey.

That problem lingering deep down in a shadowy hole is that there are far too many people willing to forget their families in favor of shopping during Thanksgiving Dinner to save a few dollars off crap they really don’t need or have to own.   Do you really need another tablet?

Of course, greedy corporations and businesses looking to churn out profits from already greedy debt-ridden consumers are willing to appeal to the fallen angels of our nature to generate some additional cash for their never satisfied shareholders. We are our own worst enemy and there is plenty of mutual feeding on greed to go around.

It’s an unspoken dirty secret, but if there weren’t a significant amount of consumers willing to abandon precious time with family and friends – which they probably don’t see all that often – for “deals” and gadgets, there wouldn’t this hoard of companies willing to make millions of people work like dogs during Thanksgiving.

Maybe even the desperate deal shoppers themselves might think twice before throwing another article of clothing on the ground with the assumption some poor minimum wage seasonal worker is going to pick it up for the hours and hours of sorting and cleanup that will be happening all week.

The demand for Black Friday and it’s accompanying World Star videos are because enough of us are significantly demanding with pockets deep enough to blow 5 billion dollars in 24 hours on a day that is now stretching into the weekend.

Until that changes not only will most of us not be thankful for what we have – as well as the time we can spend with friends and family – but we will sacrifice the little time we have with them for the pursuit of more stuff.

No, this isn’t as if you are toiling away for a career, rather you are upgrading your 40 inch tv to a 55 inch during the time you should be spending with your family – the ones who actually care about you.

What make us supposedly happy and our primary goals are reflected by what we spend our time doing and investing in.  As Black Friday shows, too many people are still spending that time and money on stuff than on time with their families.   It’s what makes them happy.

That’s a horrid problem itself.  How do you alter the ingrained programming of thousands of hours of media that more stuff will make you happy?

Attitude of Gratitude

Often we forget about being thankful for what we have because so many people think their life is crap because they dont have the newest gadgets, products, or apps.  We end up shackled to these items and unable to experience the freedom found in gratitude.   at the Imaginative Conservative makes this point:

But gratitude remains the only key that unshackles us and lets us breathe free. Life is a peculiar phenomenon. We all unthinkingly use the phrase “the gift of life,” but it is only a gift if we really think of it as such. If we don’t, then life is an unbearable curse. It is Hell itself. No matter how bountiful and varied our good fortune, life has no flavor and is devoid of any joy unless we are grateful for it. As the Dominican mystic Meister Eckhardt succinctly put it: “If the only prayer you ever said in your whole life was thank you, that would suffice.””

The newest IPhone and 4k tv wont make you feel any more lively than your previous generation Iphone. Unless you are grateful for what you have, you will never be grateful for the future possessions you so envy after seeing ads for the latest flash sale or Amazon deal.

It’s tragic, but there is one definite way to experience gratitude just as Scrooge did in Charles Dickens parable like story or Jesus’ tale of the prodigal son.

You have to lose everything.  Your health, family, and every last item you so dearly valued.  You have to be brought down to rock bottom to rise back up, riches to rags.

Hopefully, we can learn those lessons Scrooge style from those who have so that we don’t have to go through their pain.

To that grateful end, I will share a tragic story that is a part of my industry.  Remember to look on that sunny brightside.  It could be much, much worse. So be thankful for once, you thankless bastards.

Where I work, I run into some rather sad unfortunate stories.

It’s made me realize a few things. We often get caught up in our own lives, worlds, bubbles, and in the troubles and trials that we endure.  Its easy to forget about the plights of those in the distance who are faring much worse.  We become our own worst enemy.

No doubt many of us have seen pictures, videos, and stories about the recent hurricane devastation that has been wrought upon Texas, Florida, and now Puerto Rico.  Or the fires that ravaged California. These people lost everything, but their families and friends remained intact who hopefully aren’t too immersed in “stuff” to lend them aid and support.

Talk to each person whose lost something there and you’ll hear some depressing stories about their current living situations as they try to cope. (Most of us take our support networks and families for granted.)

I won’t reveal where I work as we are in the age of self-righteous Internet lynch mobs who go after people’s jobs as I have a wife and two sons to support.

However I can tell you about about a tragic story I ran into.

 

Hotel From Hell


I’m on the phone talking to a man – we will call him George – who is stuck in a hotel of a large hotel chain.  Him, his wife, and his infant son are homeless after the hurricane.  Evacuating, they took with them as many clothes as they could, their son’s pack-in-play, car seat, and baby carrier you strap to your chest.

George – who was a vet and had fought in our recent middle east excursions – described that everything left in the hurricanes wake reminded him of towns he had seen that had been completely ravaged by bombs and artillery fire.  Their home which I believe was in Tallahassee had been utterly destroyed from Hurricane Irma.

Forced to go from one Red Cross makeshift shelter to another – with a rather sick infant,  a tad bit of luck would come their way; George’s brother would pay for them to stay at hotel for a period of time to get them out of the vicious hot humid weather.  All of the “good” hotels were booked through already.

They would begin their stay on Monday and on Tuesday night their already existing suffering would escalate.  Their infant son – about 5 and a half months old – had just been in the hospital three weeks prior.  Apparently he had been in and out of the NICU quite frequently since he was born, adding to the seriousness of their plight.

Their son – we will call him Jonny, had contracted RSV when he was just a few months old, on top of his previous medical issues.  RSV for infants that young can be deadly to the point they have to stay at the hospital for the duration of the infection.

Jonny had just started sleeping through the night in his pack-in-play. Or at least he was till a flea infestation in the room, unknown to them at the time, left the infant with flea bites from head-to-toe. It was so damn bad, he couldn’t sleep anymore and they would stay awake with him as he screamed and cried through the night.  They themselves would suffer from the flea bites.

A further slap in the face was that they couldn’t use chemicals to get rid of the flies off the clothing that was salvageable – almost none of it – because their infant son couldn’t be exposed to said chemicals due to his medical issues.

The fleas would decimate almost ALL of the clothing they brought with, including the car seat, port-a-crib, and infant carrier.  So now they weren’t only almost broke, but they would have to replace all the clothes somehow.  You can bet most of the charitable places in that area that give out clothes were already overwhelmed.

Of course they couldn’t switch rooms. There were no other available rooms. All had been taken by insurance agents and other survivors and refugees of the hurricanes wrath.  They were stuck there.

George would roam the hotel hallways to clear his head and to think of any way to improve their situation. Of course, he would be penalized for this.

While observing construction that was going off in an area of the hotel – that strangely wasn’t taped off, George would step on a piece of metal and puncture his foot – something that looked like a large metal construction staple.  It wasn’t even near the obvious area of construction.

He would be in immense pain from it.

George’s wife mentioned that she had never seen him scream or cry before, but when he pulled this staple out, he cried from the pain. Perhaps the mental and emotional burdens on top of this recent were enough to put him over the edge.  When thrown in the mix of losing everything you have, it must have felt like a release.

Now I don’t know what happened to them after this.  I hope they were able to find a place to stay.  Mail had to be sent to his mother’s house in another state – that’s the closest relatives they had in proximity.

They had lost everything, but at least they had some family.  Their stuff could be replaced, as tragic as their situation was, but family can’t.

——————————————————————————————

Family First

When you are obsessing over the stuff you don’t have, just remember to take a look at those who have nothing – through no fault of their own.

Spend time with your family. You never know how much time you really have with them.  New flatscreens and crazy sales designed to lure you into dishing out for a new one you don’t really need will always be around.  Your family may not.

When me and my wife lived 8 hours away from most of our family – specifically mine, it made me realize how much I miss them.  With so many families with members scattered across the states, Thanksgiving may be one of the few days where everyone will be gathered there together.

Make the most of it.  You can go shopping later, which you probably don’t need to.

 

Can Your Marriage Survive Pregnancy?

I had no choice. Get out of the apartment.  This is what female lawyers have advised when your wife is hitting you.  Usually my wife blocks off the door so I can’t leave, but this time I was quicker than her.

Running through the door and down the stairs, I called my mother-in law.  She called 911 for an ambulance. During the call she mentioned we had been physically fighting.  My wife had threatened suicide via pills, hit me in the face, and chucked her heavy purse at my face.  Just a bloody lip for me this time.

Moments after making the call, my wife sent me a text urging me to come quick. Something bad had happened.  Rushing back in, she was on the floor holding her stomach.  “What happened!?!?!” I asked her.

In haste to chase after me already being dizzy, she had run into the corner of a shelf. Yea, I know how that sounds, because when the cops showed up –  which they have to during “domestic dispute” calls, they asked her several times.    Often when women are abused, that is exactly what they would say.  “I fell down the stairs,”  or “I ran into the wall”, or “I hit my head on the bed post.” (I know a girl who alleged this.)

Except here she ran into a shelf.  Even though I was the victim here, it sure didn’t sound that way to onlookers.  Come several days later and some of my wife and mother in laws friends were asking her if she’s SURE she ran into a shelf.   Honestly, I would too.

Rumors will swell and I’m sure I’ll be portrayed as a very timid deer.  Oh well, me and my wife only have to last another 6 months here before we move back.  To be honest, it wears on me to always be the bad guy to people we know.  Online, I don’t care, but close to home it takes a heavy toll – especially considering I have no close friends or family around.

20170215_170904

When You Really Do Love Someone

So many marriages are dysfunctional in some manner, rather then harmonious fairy tales. You see couples mingling happily at parties with each other, but what’s lurking under that surface?  Everyone pretends life is FANTASTIC!!  To outward eyes, they aren’t just at Disney World, they are it.

Take perfect me.   While I and my wife are constantly intimate, it hasn’t staved off issues from  her past – one’s I was fully aware of.   It’s led to us literally biting, slapping, and even hitting each other – but more on that later.

Safe to say, a lot of things haven’t gone according to expectations for us – especially our move to our current place.  She thought she would have a specific job.  We didn’t expect another pregnancy so soon.   With both of us working for a bit,  saving some money up was expected.   Most certainly, we never expected to lay a hand on each other.

Welcome to pregnancy.

What I described earlier was just another day of joyous and stress free pregnancy – almost finally at the end.  My wife’s been pregnant for essentially two years with back-to-back boys.  Can we last through this? Surely if this is the worst, it can only get better?

Those romantics among us hope it can.   The harsh truth is a much more difficult question.   So much bullshit is spouted about what it should be, but no one talks about the behind-the-scenes dysfunction that most marriage suffer.

Most people won’t admit to because of their pride, reputation and what other people will think.  I suppose in the digital and social media age where haters are always looking for ways to malign you, it makes sense if you want to exist quietly and living your life happily.

Marriage is a loaded term today filled with gloried ideals and bitter stories from those around us.  Some people hate it ranging from MGTOWS to angry rad feminists who consider it evil and part of Patriarchal oppression.  Cool.  I can’t tell you how many twilight zone divorce stories I’ve heard, and “forgiveness” and encouragement to get married urges don’t follow.  I understand why.

Truth is that when your marriage hits lows – even those weekly ones – people don’t talk about how low because they are afraid of the judgment . I’ll bite the bullet and share the dirty violent details.

Before I was married, I swore that I would leave any women who hit me, assaulted me, etc.   Pride aside,  take enough hits from someone and you will hit back in some manner.

That always being in the back of my mind and what happens in domestic situations when the cops get called,  abusers aren’t worth my time.   Then again when you really love a women – especially if she’s your wife, leaving her to fend for herself isn’t an option.

Rolling With The Punches

You think you know your wife, but not until pregnancy do you know what festers beneath.  Pregnant women attacking their husbands with feminine graceful fists is a staple of time, because so many men and women I know laugh about it when I tell them.

I just never knew about it till now.  Turns out a lot of women didn’t know this rage and capacity for violence was in them until they were pregnant.  When you start to read various forum boards and sites dedicated to “mommies” and dealing with pregnancy, it starts to appear:

“I know I am not alone because one of my best friend’s DH told me he has been physically attacked in every one of his wife’s 3 pregnancies, and she is not a violent girl at all.”

When a women becomes pregnant, so much about her changes.  Obviously she gets a bit hungrier – hangry – as a I call it, as well as grump, frustrated, sometimes even jealous.  Raging hormones escalate everything to the max level of what it could be.

While we’ve had sex practically everyday – which still isn’t enough for my wife’s increased “Take off your clothes now” drive, the negatives always linger.  We’ve had fights escalate over the smallest things to the point of where we are screaming at each other.

The question becomes, how much do you really LOVE your wife? What are you willing to forgive?  Can you swallow your pride?  Note, we are still going strong as I write this.  Also, this is not about being a victim.  It’s about how to address this problem.

Swallowing that pride becomes VERY difficult when things become physical.  Many a time my wife has hit me, got on top of me pinning me to the bed or couch, started choking me, digging her nails into me, and even going for crotch kicks and punches.  Normally, Id toss her off.  However, with the pregnancy I can’t do that.

When she blocks me from leaving the house my standing in front of the door and or physically holding me back from leaving, I can’t just shove her into a wall.  Other men have told me how it happened to them, but I didn’t know how it felt until it happened to me.  Neither did I know that feeling of helplessness that envelops you completely.  You bounce between feeling bad for her to feeling outraged with her.

There have been moments I wanted to shove her head through the wall, just as she has wanted to do to me and they scream in your mind to obey your inner animal urges when the fights are physical.

My wife isn’t stupid, and when she’s in a rage, she uses this to her advantage.  Essentially she can rain down hell and there’s nothing I can do.  Unfortunately there’s been a few times where  I could deal with it no more.

Before I go further, some things have to be mentioned.  My wife was raped freshman year of college.  I didn’t actually believe her at first because of the amount of false accusations out there and the very loose definitions applied to “sexual assault” and “rape” by feminist types.

I knew I would have to deal with it, but it pours the rage, frustration, and anger into her at times when she is already stressed and her hormones are raging.  My wife is phenomenal women.   She’s strong, loving, and loves me without a shadow of a doubt and would do anything for me.

This comes back to her, but when she is seeing red, the violence overtakes her, almost like a bloodlust.   All logic is gone.  She is consumed.  Often I’m lucky, she’ll only throw things all over and against the walls.  (That includes her glasses, which shockingly haven’t broken yet, and older phone that did break, and numerous other objects.)

Sometimes I’m afraid that some of my cherished possessions – namely my desktop computer – might become a casualty.   If her seeing red is complete, she has before dumped out my coffee and even some whiskey because she knew it would irk me – especially as I often cant afford to replace the whiskey, let alone my desktop computer.   A very keen new style of warfare I must say in “break his shit”.

She’s also no pushover with the exertion of force. The punches hurt. In middle-school and highschool she was a bully and she beat up boys and girls.   Also, she always got away with it and she would tell me how she used to cry and shed some tears when questioned about her role.  Worked wonders avoiding trouble for her part in the beatings.

She knows how to reign down wrath.  I’ve had cuts, deep scratches, bloody lips, and bruises and swelling on my face.  I consider myself lucky. One of my wife’s friends shoved her husband down the stairs in a pregnancy influenced rage.  Suffice to say their marriage has been very bumpy since.

Now when her rage is done, she’s that sweet innocent and crying girl who doesn’t know why she’s hitting me and what’s happening to her.  Pregnancy indeed.  At that point, all I can do is hold her tight and swallow justified anger.

Later on I’ll lightly chide her for it and she’ll do her little girl pose saying, “I’m an innocent angel.”    She certainly can be and just like that, it’s like it never happened.  But then it does happen. Again.

So what do you do?  I’m not calling the police, because I love my wife and my son needs his mother as does this baby soon to come.  Essentially, there is no immediate penalty right now for hitting me.

Valentine's day Walmart aisle.

The Facebook Posts You Don’t See

When we were living with my inlaws, I can recall one time where we were fighting and it got physical. She ended up on top of me choking me – she doesn’t remember her choking me during this fight.  I was so mad I started choking her back.  If she was going to choke me, I was going to choke her back and let her see how it felt.    Her parents ended up walking in and seeing this and well, nothing’s ever been the same in terms of “abuse”.

I’m not a big manly guy. I’m five foot seven,  have boyish looks, and a good amount of people thought I was gay- to give you a picture.  My wife has been in more fights then I have and she knows how to throw a punch.

Many men are raised to never hit a woman.  I don’t ascribe to that.  If a girl throws a punch at me, she receive one in kind.   However, this is my wife, not some girl I barely know.

Even still I can recall snapping.   One fight, she kept hitting me to the point I saw red. She hit my leg hard and I snapped back and hit her leg shouting, “How do like it” as both anger and tears flowed from her.   This exchange went back and forth.

The attacks usually flow from my wife when (1) I’m not listening enough (2) I don’t let her talk.  Usually that means she is hearing and seeing red from the pregnancy hormones and if I don’t say she’s correct in some way,  I’m not “listening” and I’m going to be eating a punch.

To make it worse, she doesn’t let me leave.  She makes sure to block the door off making me feel like a caged animal.  Honestly even after our fights are over, it still bugs me.  (One time I had to jump off our balcony to evade being hit and to get out of the apartment.)

One time I definitely ended up being the aggressor.  Another fight and the previous day I had suffered some punches.   That night we were arguing and she threw a set of keys across the room which I thought had been intended for me.

I saw red and immediately tackled her to the bed and grabbed her hair and pulled on it hard.  A second later I five starred her back.  In her eyes, for the first time, I could see fear. My wife was actually afraid of me and to top it off, she IS PREGNANT.

It made me recoil in horror.  “What was happening to me?  While she has asked this question many a time to me, now I was asking it of myself.    I had never done anything like this before to a girl.   I had snapped and I was blaming her for it.

Worse off it concerned and troubled me.  I had a momentary experience of what all these feminist types want to insist we “Red-Pilled types are – abusive monsters rather then men who love women for who they are.   Obviously, they don’t care about my wife’s role, but still it shocked me.

Learning and Loving

Fun fact: When I’ve mentioned to people that my pregnant wife hits me frequently, people laugh about it.  When customers call in to where I work and ask me how I’m doing, I’ll remark something like, “I’m surviving pregnancy” and about how I’m dodging punches.

They laugh about it as if it’s pretty normal to dodge punches from you wife.   Gauge this reaction and I’m betting that this happens to a lot of other men, but society consider it normal.  If so, why the constant huff and haw about domestic violence?

In many ways, we do give pregnant woman a hell of a pass, but I suppose it’s part of the price for birthing not just my children, but the next generation.   Again, I will note that the “violence” part only has occurred during pregnancy and it’s not like an early scene from “Enough” where Jennifer Lopez is getting pummeled by her manipulative husband when they think of domestic violence.    (1) Honestly consider what we imagine when hear of “violence” in relationships (2) consider how many other couples report the same issues. (My wife’s Faecbook mommy group apparently has some aggressive mommies.)

Now normally when my wife hits me, she’ll tell me its my fault because I didn’t let her talk.  Classic abuser behavior is blaming the victim for why the abuse is happening.   When I’ve let her know that I’m angry about her “physical abuse”, she will retort she’s mad about my “emotional abuse”.

Right there you have the excuse and catalyst and it makes perfect sense to her. Even though my wife knows she is violent sometimes, it’s still likely I would go to jail – even if I’m keeled over bleeding because of the way the system works. (The Duluth Model)

Despite all of this that I’ve mentioned, we are in good shape as a couple. Valentines day for us was extra special.  You now know we have our flaws.   I’m just here to let you know that those of you out there in this kind of situation aren’t alone.

Now I know my wife really does love and is loyal to me. One single call , I could be carted off regardless of how many times she had hit me.  It’s a terrible imbalance of power, but nothing can be done about it.  Life isn’t fair.   She would never do this, but she has the power so to speak that makes marriage such a risky proposition for men.

You can never fully know your wife before marriage, but you can know what kind of women she is.   Loyalty, loyalty – and sex – are probably the most important things a girl can give you.  It can and will make the difference when life starts to hit hard – literally.

Persevere.

 

 

 

Should “Jackie” from the Rolling Stone article be doxxed?

Another day on twitter and there are some who .  Apparently Roosh  who runs the “infamous” Return Of Kings has information that exposes “Jackies” real identity from Rolling Stones infamous article on the UVA “gang rape” and is pondering on whether to publish it or not. This is a turning point for him.  I don’t know if Roosh considers himself to be a journalist, but I do consider him to be such to an extent.

https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/541365857503309825

Will he lower himself to the SJW tactic of doxxing people?  Doxxing has been the realm of those on 4chan – well now 8chan- Reddit, ect.  However even mainstream publications like The New York Times have participated in doxxing – most recently publishing Darren Wilson’s address – the officer in Ferguson who shot Michael Brown – via showing an image of his marriage certificate.

While the address was already floating around on the internet, it sets a new precedent when a respectable publication like the NYT is willing to publish private details such as that.  Also note that the NYT still has one of the largest audiences of any one publication – both digital and in print.

When it comes to the disclosure of the private details of someone’s life, the question that must be asked is, “How necessary and pertinent is it to the story”?  In this case I would suggest that it’s not at all pertinent to the story.  She may deserve to be doxxed, considering what she’s done to “Barry One”, but at what point should we lower ourselves to the standards of people like that?

The moral high ground is often useless nowadays, but Mike Cernovich is right in that whoever claims the moral high ground can easily be destroyed by it as so many SJW’s have been when details about them leak out that aren’t so “moral.”