Learning the Hard Lessons About Sex and Porn

Regretfully for the last 10 years, I watched plenty of porn which aided in my frequent and fervent masturbation each day. It gave all sorts of bizarre inclination and fetishes. Porn showed me how the bodies banged, loud wails, and how many holes could be stuffed at the same time, but not much else.

Easy access on any device, a quick jerk and release, and I was back to my video games, reading, or anything else I felt like at that moment.  Time was being used efficiently.  After watching some gangbang for the zillionth time, I clearly knew more about getting laid. All was well.  Was I lacking anything?

What was lacking is that I still didn’t know how to approach, talk, or much less make the moves on girls so any of that glorious fun looking sex would come my way.  Touching and stroking would apparently moisten things up if I got to that part where my fingers and lips were welcomed, but I wasn’t sure about the rest.  We saw the penetration, but not how a guy actually got a girl to desire that with him.

Your wife is right there, but this video…

When I finally bust from my virgin cage and began to actually have sex with in-the-flesh girls, I ran into moments where I couldn’t get or stay hard.  Instead of being as ravenous and filled with testosterone like King Kong, I would suddenly be unable to perform – something devastating for both parties involved.  Imagine the excitement of knowing you were gonna get some and the confidence blow when you go limp.

What was happening?

A recent phenomena in secular and Christian circles encourages teenagers and college students to wait till their late 20s to 30s to get married.  One must wait till they are financially stable, out of debt, and raking in the big bucks after finally establishing their career – which will never happen for most of us until we hit our late 30s if we are lucky.

During that time you better abstain from the sex, avoid that porn, and stop thinking about how you really want to be enjoying all that meaningless sex your friends are having while you wear your own kind of chastity belt having kissed dating goodbye.  You avoid that porn as much as possible, but the addiction begins – one that’s affecting many Christian men (and women).  In fact something like a third of visitors to porn sites are now women.

I was a product of this – though my dad encouraged me to get married to alleviate my desires.  Of course, I was picky, selfish, immature, and irresponsible.  I wasn’t looking for a wife just yet, but a “best friend”  and someone who wanted to mate frequently.

Supplementing my technical “virginity” with porn, I held on to that sacred virginity as long as possible so I could claim some moral high-ground. Eventually I said to hell with it and went on my journey of debauchery. I didn’t reject my faith, but I certainly wasn’t going to go to church and bother with guilt.

Perhaps I was lucky to experience the “player burnout” rather quickly and realize that I wanted to find a wife with which to raise a family – and have plenty of sex with of course – and devote my time less to pursuit and more to worthwhile activities.

 

Game And Beyond

I had to learn game. Friends gave me advice.  The internet gave me stories.  Podcasts, videos, forum boards, and all those misogynist sexist bastards shared the details of what women wanted and turned them on, rather then what they said they wanted.

Embracing my inner confident asshole, I never looked back. My conquests came through, and my confidence rose to levels of those lucky nerds who gets the girl in those vapid and misleading movies. In my nerdy days, those romantic happy endings were in a galaxy far far away of which I lacked access

Those problems I mentioned earlier however didn’t evaporate.  Lurking like a nagging and unscabbed wound, they poked at me.

I recall Davis Aurini mentioned on a stream how men with girlfriends or wives would often jerk off to porn instead of having sex with them. Their natural attraction toward the feminine body which should have given them rock hard boners was being subdued and withered.

These words stuck me, because what he described was exactly what I was doing – even when I hit my “prime”.  I supplemented actual sex with porn, often preferring the porn to any “real” girl. It was easy, took less effort, and was warping my mind and ability to be aroused by a REAL woman.

Guaranteed release, no effort.

When I met my wife, we had intense sexual attraction. Our secretive and risky adventures to have sex would give way for daily and comfortable sweat sessions once we got married. This has never stopped – yes we still have sex every day.

What also never stopped until recently was me using porn on the side.  While me and my wife had watched some together to get ideas, I would often watch it when she wasn’t around.  During her back to back pregnancies, it made her feel worse and worse as her body confidence took massive hits due to the natural weight gain of pregnancy.

In fact, at points I couldn’t get hard without watching porn before I had sex with her. As you can imagine, it made her feel like crap.  Furthermore, I was often only able to oblige her to sex twice a day because my drive had decreased from jerking off to porn during the other parts of the day.

Yes, you did read that right. Sex only twice a day on average instead of more because my wife’s sex drive is that high.  That’s how much she is attracted to me, loves me, and wants me.  I was letting her down.  Her great body that should have been driving me crazy was being ignored for people who meant nothing to me on the web.

Porn even made me lazy.  I wouldn’t do any at home workouts and my “desk job” managed to pack on an additional 30 pounds making me officially overweight for my height.  Still through all of this, my wife strongly desires me.

I’m lucky gentleman.  Yea my game is good as are my looks, but how many men can say the same in a similar situation? My wife is just that loyal and into me.

I could have very well permanently sabotaged my relationship and marriage to get that momentary high from watching and jerking to porn.

My wife deserves more. She deserves all the sex she can get from me, regardless if I’m feeling horny or not.  Porn only lowered my libido. It’s a dangerous drug that’s hard to give up.  Even still, I sometimes feel permanently altered from its affect when me and my wife go at it.

It’s a lesson I will teach my two sons. I encourage all of you to do the same and be careful – even using it as a stimulus for you and your wives.  Avoid it.  Your wife or girlfriend has a body that you should ravish.  Study hers and do exactly that.

Sometimes the old wisdom from those prudish puritan conservatives and I daresay insane raving feminists who disprove of porn for opposite reasons can be correct.  Plenty of studies tell us about the ill effects of porn on men and even on women who have developed addictions.  You just don’t take those effects seriously until it happens to you.

Bad Habits Start Young – My Teeth Really Hurt

No, its not that bad

THE PAIN!!!! It’s hurts so damn bad.

Severe tooth pain makes you want to perform unsupervised amputations. Crying and screaming while rolling around in your bed now seem more probable. You don’t even care about the same – so much so that you are that close to using that pair of pliers. To hell with all the blood you will need to clean off your baisch floor.

Because of bad habits as a kid, and did I have a lot of bad ones – like rarely taking care of my teeth, let alone brushing them,  my mouth is filled with various cavities and now two broken teeth just waiting to act up.  I have a few teeth extracted and it looks like more will follow.

Thursday night was bad, but I snuggled up under my blankets, and slept off the pain.  Friday night I was not shown such mercy and no amount of Ibuprofen was going to make that pain go away.  I was going to need something stronger. More on that in a second.

Cavities and broken teeth don’t make you go, “Oh that’s beautiful!”.  Good people recoil in shock and horror at such nastiness.  You now know why I never show my teeth when I smile.  Seriously, I don’t show my teeth unless I’m drunk and I’m not aware that my pearly yellows are exposed to shocked onlookers.

A previous dentist actually thought I was doing drugs because of the amount of cavities. I can remember her saying, “Cmon, what is it? Meth?” Nope, just rarely brushed teeth that stand to make you a considerable fortune. No, I’m not a meth head, tobacco chewing addict from the Appalachians and I don’t intend to give that impression off smiling with a toothless grin.

Why can’t getting dental work done – that expensive stuff like root canals, crowns, etc have a similar approach you’d find at a hospital.   There, even if you can’t pay and have no insurance, they still treat you. Sure you’re medical bills will be insane and your credit will be screwed for life, but that flashy smile will land you a gig showing others their teeth just aren’t white enough.

Like most millennials, I should blame my bigoted ist and ism parents who don’t check their privilege enough – specifically my mom.  Well, it’s not her fault. She tried and I just got lazy.  Maybe I wasn’t disciplined enough for my bad hygiene, but hindsight is hindsight.

Over the last 3 days the pain I mentioned has  been excruciating. I couldn’t even sleep at a point. I now understand why people commit suicide – something I have no intention of doing. The pain can be that terrible.

Currently, I have a cracked tooth as well as an impacted and decaying wisdom tooth that causes terrible pain for the left side of my mouth.  I’m rough and tough and wait these things out, but Saturday it was too much.  I went to the ER, got a referral for a dentist, and got some Percocets which I’m currently on right now.

Tuesday came around and I got that extraction. Now I’m on hydrocodone to manage the pain of it.  The older wizened dentist extracted my wisdom tooth in about 3 minutes after he shot my mouth full of lidocaine or whatever it is.

Honestly with my teeth having been killing me these last few days, I’m still lucky.  How’s that?

My mom is staying with us for about two months to help us out with our two sons.  Them being 10 and  1/2months  apart is the primary reason.  I’m lucky I didn’t have to get up in the middle of the night to do a feeding for our 6 week old son Nehemiah  with my teeth in such pain I can barely stand.

My sons should never feel this pain. I won’t let them.  From a young age I’ll make sure they are brushing thoroughly so they never have a mouth as ramshod with cavities as their old man.

For years I’ve pushed off my dental issues – usually due to a lack of money or dental insurance to pay for it, but I didn’t bother to use mouthwash daily and be brushing constantly to stave off even worse dental wrath.

Don’t be like me kids.  Watch those horrific cavity videos and recoil in fear and horror at those google images. IT can happen to you!  Except you won’t get pregnant and die. Lessons must be learned.

1. Discipline from a young age forms good habits

2. Don’t relent. Your kids will thank you when their teeth aren’t killing them every night.

 

– Tales from a cavity survivor in pain.