Learning the Hard Lessons About Sex and Porn

Regretfully for the last 10 years, I watched plenty of porn which aided in my frequent and fervent masturbation each day. It gave all sorts of bizarre inclination and fetishes. Porn showed me how the bodies banged, loud wails, and how many holes could be stuffed at the same time, but not much else.

Easy access on any device, a quick jerk and release, and I was back to my video games, reading, or anything else I felt like at that moment.  Time was being used efficiently.  After watching some gangbang for the zillionth time, I clearly knew more about getting laid. All was well.  Was I lacking anything?

What was lacking is that I still didn’t know how to approach, talk, or much less make the moves on girls so any of that glorious fun looking sex would come my way.  Touching and stroking would apparently moisten things up if I got to that part where my fingers and lips were welcomed, but I wasn’t sure about the rest.  We saw the penetration, but not how a guy actually got a girl to desire that with him.

Your wife is right there, but this video…

When I finally bust from my virgin cage and began to actually have sex with in-the-flesh girls, I ran into moments where I couldn’t get or stay hard.  Instead of being as ravenous and filled with testosterone like King Kong, I would suddenly be unable to perform – something devastating for both parties involved.  Imagine the excitement of knowing you were gonna get some and the confidence blow when you go limp.

What was happening?

A recent phenomena in secular and Christian circles encourages teenagers and college students to wait till their late 20s to 30s to get married.  One must wait till they are financially stable, out of debt, and raking in the big bucks after finally establishing their career – which will never happen for most of us until we hit our late 30s if we are lucky.

During that time you better abstain from the sex, avoid that porn, and stop thinking about how you really want to be enjoying all that meaningless sex your friends are having while you wear your own kind of chastity belt having kissed dating goodbye.  You avoid that porn as much as possible, but the addiction begins – one that’s affecting many Christian men (and women).  In fact something like a third of visitors to porn sites are now women.

I was a product of this – though my dad encouraged me to get married to alleviate my desires.  Of course, I was picky, selfish, immature, and irresponsible.  I wasn’t looking for a wife just yet, but a “best friend”  and someone who wanted to mate frequently.

Supplementing my technical “virginity” with porn, I held on to that sacred virginity as long as possible so I could claim some moral high-ground. Eventually I said to hell with it and went on my journey of debauchery. I didn’t reject my faith, but I certainly wasn’t going to go to church and bother with guilt.

Perhaps I was lucky to experience the “player burnout” rather quickly and realize that I wanted to find a wife with which to raise a family – and have plenty of sex with of course – and devote my time less to pursuit and more to worthwhile activities.


Game And Beyond

I had to learn game. Friends gave me advice.  The internet gave me stories.  Podcasts, videos, forum boards, and all those misogynist sexist bastards shared the details of what women wanted and turned them on, rather then what they said they wanted.

Embracing my inner confident asshole, I never looked back. My conquests came through, and my confidence rose to levels of those lucky nerds who gets the girl in those vapid and misleading movies. In my nerdy days, those romantic happy endings were in a galaxy far far away of which I lacked access

Those problems I mentioned earlier however didn’t evaporate.  Lurking like a nagging and unscabbed wound, they poked at me.

I recall Davis Aurini mentioned on a stream how men with girlfriends or wives would often jerk off to porn instead of having sex with them. Their natural attraction toward the feminine body which should have given them rock hard boners was being subdued and withered.

These words stuck me, because what he described was exactly what I was doing – even when I hit my “prime”.  I supplemented actual sex with porn, often preferring the porn to any “real” girl. It was easy, took less effort, and was warping my mind and ability to be aroused by a REAL woman.

Guaranteed release, no effort.

When I met my wife, we had intense sexual attraction. Our secretive and risky adventures to have sex would give way for daily and comfortable sweat sessions once we got married. This has never stopped – yes we still have sex every day.

What also never stopped until recently was me using porn on the side.  While me and my wife had watched some together to get ideas, I would often watch it when she wasn’t around.  During her back to back pregnancies, it made her feel worse and worse as her body confidence took massive hits due to the natural weight gain of pregnancy.

In fact, at points I couldn’t get hard without watching porn before I had sex with her. As you can imagine, it made her feel like crap.  Furthermore, I was often only able to oblige her to sex twice a day because my drive had decreased from jerking off to porn during the other parts of the day.

Yes, you did read that right. Sex only twice a day on average instead of more because my wife’s sex drive is that high.  That’s how much she is attracted to me, loves me, and wants me.  I was letting her down.  Her great body that should have been driving me crazy was being ignored for people who meant nothing to me on the web.

Porn even made me lazy.  I wouldn’t do any at home workouts and my “desk job” managed to pack on an additional 30 pounds making me officially overweight for my height.  Still through all of this, my wife strongly desires me.

I’m lucky gentleman.  Yea my game is good as are my looks, but how many men can say the same in a similar situation? My wife is just that loyal and into me.

I could have very well permanently sabotaged my relationship and marriage to get that momentary high from watching and jerking to porn.

My wife deserves more. She deserves all the sex she can get from me, regardless if I’m feeling horny or not.  Porn only lowered my libido. It’s a dangerous drug that’s hard to give up.  Even still, I sometimes feel permanently altered from its affect when me and my wife go at it.

It’s a lesson I will teach my two sons. I encourage all of you to do the same and be careful – even using it as a stimulus for you and your wives.  Avoid it.  Your wife or girlfriend has a body that you should ravish.  Study hers and do exactly that.

Sometimes the old wisdom from those prudish puritan conservatives and I daresay insane raving feminists who disprove of porn for opposite reasons can be correct.  Plenty of studies tell us about the ill effects of porn on men and even on women who have developed addictions.  You just don’t take those effects seriously until it happens to you.

The Ridiculous Self-Loathing Of European Heroes And Ancestors

A Vicious European Oppressor

Finally, the angry self-ridden guilt posts to appease the privilege-checking sky gods is over.   October 12th, the day we rant about Columbus and rave about the nobility of meso-america is over, but not without the usual stir.  Even a week later, there was a few guilt-ridden white kids making sure to post their obligatory, “Columbus was a bad man” post.

Think about it for a moment.

Memes, links, and articles flood your Facebook about how terrible of a person Columbus was – some of which is true – and how “sinful” it is to celebrate Columbus for any reason.  Whatever good Columbus may have done apparently matters not, and the same applies to many other historical heroes who have slowly become evil because they like every other single ancient, classical, and medieval historical figure might have owned slaves or rampaged through enemy lands at one time.

Twitter of course tells you that the day should be changed to celebrate “Indigenous people” who clearly weren’t pillaging, raiding, raping, and mass exterminating each other in massive numbers before the unfeeling European bastards encountered the noble savage.   Tumblr is even more rabid.  Columbus and all heroes of old that are European are evil.

Columbus was a terrible terrorist, unlike any of the natives of the Americas
A picture really does say a thousand words in this situation.

You don’t even have to guess the sophistic tripe that the Huffington Post and Salon mewed about it.  Not surprisingly, neutral and non-biased journalist John Oliver jumps on the train.

Very few people know anything about history or do they care.

A narrative must be pushed

Let’s think about how countries, empires, and even the Pax Romana came about – through bloodshed.  In fact, name one major successful historical civilization on the planet that didn’t commit atrocities that ranged from massacres of captured cities to full out genocides.  The very nature of history is built on conquest.   It is remembered by the battles that were fought and by the winners who went on to tell the tale.

I find it extremely odd that I don’t see modern day Mongolians living in self loathing and guilt for conquering half the world and killing 30 million in the process.   They don’t exactly denounce Ghengis Khan and his descendants from their historical history and I don’t necessarily believe they should.  You aren’t responsible for the actions of your ancestors hundreds, let alone thousands of years ago, regardless of what the “privilege” spewing academic crowd has to say about it.

Mongols brutally attacking a Rus city
Those Mongol Shitlords

The Turks aren’t exactly weeping in sackcloth and ashes for their historical Ottoman misdeeds which include almost completely wiping out Bulgarian culture and identity, enslaving and oppressing the Greeks“the tribute of children comes to mind” -for hundreds of years, rampaging and pillaging through the Balkans and much of the nearby Middle-Eastern countries of today.  They don’t seem to feel the need to prostrate in despair for subjugating, enslaving, and massacring my Armenian ancestors with the 1915 genocide only being the tip of their historical iceberg.

I haven’t seen modern day Spaniards lamenting about the terrible invasion and conquest of Gaul and most of Iberia by the Visigoths during and after the fall of the Western Roman Empire or their destruction by the invading Moors from North Africa even later.  Do said Spaniards revile every day of their conquest and colonization of South America, the Philippines, and Cuba?  Obviously an example of European colonial oppression that trumps the Phoenician colonization of Carthage as an example of white supremacy.

The descendants of the Rashidun Calliphate, the Timurids, and the Mughals still haven’t thrown themselves to the dirt in mourning for their ancestors misdeeds yet. In fact, the Mughal rule of India and oppression of the Rajputs and other Hindus isn’t exactly castigated by Pakistanis.    Attila The Hun – The Scourge of God – still hasn’t been properly decried by his  Turkic, Mongolic, and Ugric descendants.

I can’t remember the Egyptians shaking their heads in dismay about how they subdued various Kingdoms all around them for thousands of years.   Even their Nubian neighors aren’t checking their privilege for conquering the lower Kushite barbarians.


Why wont these terrible henious modern people of today check their privilege and revile their bloodthirsty rampaging ancestors?

Because there is no reason to apologize for events that occur far before your time.  Yes, you can acknowledge and learn from history, but you don’t have to kneel, weep, and sigh over the annals of yesteryear.   What has happened – good or bad – has shaped the course of history.

Determining morality in history is a daunting task in today’s era of revisionism based on ideology, but a necessary filter about how to view and digest history itself has been presented quite articulately by Quintus Curtius;

“We do not construct our worldviews around the opinions of the masses, but rather out of a consideration of the laws of history.”

The laws of history demand that we look at the context of the time for the actions, words, deeds, and culture of those terrible sexist misogynist religious zealot barbarians.  History doesn’t occur in a vacuum and what we view as reprehensible today; slavery, genocide, vicious sackings and slaughters, et cectera were deemed as acceptable by their participants in which they occurred.

Our role isn’t to condemn them, but to understand why they did what they did, without passing some arbitrary judgement first as to why it is wrong or right.  Enjoy the literature and culture for what it was, not for what modern standards demand it should adhere to.

Modern day mongols don’t weep over the sack of Baghdad and neither should any American weep over Jackson’s Trail Of Tears.    Some event’s may be appalling, but they serve as lessons rather then memorials to be wept over daily to placate Faceborg friends who (1) don’t really care and (2) don’t actually know anything about history because they don’t care enough to make the time.