Learning the Hard Lessons About Sex and Porn

Regretfully for the last 10 years, I watched plenty of porn which aided in my frequent and fervent masturbation each day. It gave all sorts of bizarre inclination and fetishes. Porn showed me how the bodies banged, loud wails, and how many holes could be stuffed at the same time, but not much else.

Easy access on any device, a quick jerk and release, and I was back to my video games, reading, or anything else I felt like at that moment.  Time was being used efficiently.  After watching some gangbang for the zillionth time, I clearly knew more about getting laid. All was well.  Was I lacking anything?

What was lacking is that I still didn’t know how to approach, talk, or much less make the moves on girls so any of that glorious fun looking sex would come my way.  Touching and stroking would apparently moisten things up if I got to that part where my fingers and lips were welcomed, but I wasn’t sure about the rest.  We saw the penetration, but not how a guy actually got a girl to desire that with him.

Your wife is right there, but this video…

When I finally bust from my virgin cage and began to actually have sex with in-the-flesh girls, I ran into moments where I couldn’t get or stay hard.  Instead of being as ravenous and filled with testosterone like King Kong, I would suddenly be unable to perform – something devastating for both parties involved.  Imagine the excitement of knowing you were gonna get some and the confidence blow when you go limp.

What was happening?

A recent phenomena in secular and Christian circles encourages teenagers and college students to wait till their late 20s to 30s to get married.  One must wait till they are financially stable, out of debt, and raking in the big bucks after finally establishing their career – which will never happen for most of us until we hit our late 30s if we are lucky.

During that time you better abstain from the sex, avoid that porn, and stop thinking about how you really want to be enjoying all that meaningless sex your friends are having while you wear your own kind of chastity belt having kissed dating goodbye.  You avoid that porn as much as possible, but the addiction begins – one that’s affecting many Christian men (and women).  In fact something like a third of visitors to porn sites are now women.

I was a product of this – though my dad encouraged me to get married to alleviate my desires.  Of course, I was picky, selfish, immature, and irresponsible.  I wasn’t looking for a wife just yet, but a “best friend”  and someone who wanted to mate frequently.

Supplementing my technical “virginity” with porn, I held on to that sacred virginity as long as possible so I could claim some moral high-ground. Eventually I said to hell with it and went on my journey of debauchery. I didn’t reject my faith, but I certainly wasn’t going to go to church and bother with guilt.

Perhaps I was lucky to experience the “player burnout” rather quickly and realize that I wanted to find a wife with which to raise a family – and have plenty of sex with of course – and devote my time less to pursuit and more to worthwhile activities.

 

Game And Beyond

I had to learn game. Friends gave me advice.  The internet gave me stories.  Podcasts, videos, forum boards, and all those misogynist sexist bastards shared the details of what women wanted and turned them on, rather then what they said they wanted.

Embracing my inner confident asshole, I never looked back. My conquests came through, and my confidence rose to levels of those lucky nerds who gets the girl in those vapid and misleading movies. In my nerdy days, those romantic happy endings were in a galaxy far far away of which I lacked access

Those problems I mentioned earlier however didn’t evaporate.  Lurking like a nagging and unscabbed wound, they poked at me.

I recall Davis Aurini mentioned on a stream how men with girlfriends or wives would often jerk off to porn instead of having sex with them. Their natural attraction toward the feminine body which should have given them rock hard boners was being subdued and withered.

These words stuck me, because what he described was exactly what I was doing – even when I hit my “prime”.  I supplemented actual sex with porn, often preferring the porn to any “real” girl. It was easy, took less effort, and was warping my mind and ability to be aroused by a REAL woman.

Guaranteed release, no effort.

When I met my wife, we had intense sexual attraction. Our secretive and risky adventures to have sex would give way for daily and comfortable sweat sessions once we got married. This has never stopped – yes we still have sex every day.

What also never stopped until recently was me using porn on the side.  While me and my wife had watched some together to get ideas, I would often watch it when she wasn’t around.  During her back to back pregnancies, it made her feel worse and worse as her body confidence took massive hits due to the natural weight gain of pregnancy.

In fact, at points I couldn’t get hard without watching porn before I had sex with her. As you can imagine, it made her feel like crap.  Furthermore, I was often only able to oblige her to sex twice a day because my drive had decreased from jerking off to porn during the other parts of the day.

Yes, you did read that right. Sex only twice a day on average instead of more because my wife’s sex drive is that high.  That’s how much she is attracted to me, loves me, and wants me.  I was letting her down.  Her great body that should have been driving me crazy was being ignored for people who meant nothing to me on the web.

Porn even made me lazy.  I wouldn’t do any at home workouts and my “desk job” managed to pack on an additional 30 pounds making me officially overweight for my height.  Still through all of this, my wife strongly desires me.

I’m lucky gentleman.  Yea my game is good as are my looks, but how many men can say the same in a similar situation? My wife is just that loyal and into me.

I could have very well permanently sabotaged my relationship and marriage to get that momentary high from watching and jerking to porn.

My wife deserves more. She deserves all the sex she can get from me, regardless if I’m feeling horny or not.  Porn only lowered my libido. It’s a dangerous drug that’s hard to give up.  Even still, I sometimes feel permanently altered from its affect when me and my wife go at it.

It’s a lesson I will teach my two sons. I encourage all of you to do the same and be careful – even using it as a stimulus for you and your wives.  Avoid it.  Your wife or girlfriend has a body that you should ravish.  Study hers and do exactly that.

Sometimes the old wisdom from those prudish puritan conservatives and I daresay insane raving feminists who disprove of porn for opposite reasons can be correct.  Plenty of studies tell us about the ill effects of porn on men and even on women who have developed addictions.  You just don’t take those effects seriously until it happens to you.

Take A Break, Relax, Recover, and Come Back To The Fight

Internet Burnout From too much Politics

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

For the last two months prior to election day, Drudge was linking to various articles about how people were suffering from election induced anxiety, depression, and even sleep loss.  Facebook feeds were particularly active and potent regardless of what political bubble you are dwell in.

We all expected the end of the world before night, and it’s only gotten worse post-election for half of the voting public to cope with the election of Cthulu.  Detractors of Trump literally believe he’s Hitler, but then again, so is anyone to the right of Hillary.  The sky is literally falling and raining pepes.

My Facebook and Twitter blared with insane headlines that even often I thought were too exaggerated to be true.  Everything was apocalyptic in nature and possible destruction of our grand modern multi-cultural tolerant world, even though Rome didn’t fall in a day.

The scaremongering and dastardly vicious dangers strawmen that anyone else in the “opponent” group ensured that the personal was political.  Stories that were true and shocking – one example being Detroit having more Hillary votes then possible voters made my blood boil all that much more.

Internet Burnout From too much Politics
Take A Break You Deplorables

Post-election, all of the scoundrels and deplorables favorable to “God-Emperor Trump” were faced with families  endearing new crises that unfortunately had nothing to do with drug addled interventions,  sibling disputes, and crumbling marriages.  Call me ole fashioned, but I’m still shocked that people are avoiding family members because of their despicable politics.  Clearly,  those politicians will always be there for you, but your family won’t.

To put in perspective how bad the shattering has been just between husbands and wives, the annoying chat-box known as “The View” had a segment in which voting husbands for Trump was causing them to lose their tingles down there for their studly husbands.

Yes, apparently a difference in how you voted was causing the dreaded “deadbedroom” threads we read about.  Hammer that nail of sexual intimacy once more to the coffin.

“I think that the sex drive does die and, you know, we are building a wall around our vaginas,” she continued. “The guy [Trump] says it’s okay if he would grab a woman by her you-know-what, and women are either a 10 or a one, or this one’s fat, and you voted for that schmuck?”

“You voted for that? I’m not sleeping with you,” Behar said.

 “That’s what’s happening,” Sunny Hostin agreed.

Yep, you read that right.  Some people have “marriages” that are truly that dysfunctional and the sex tips in Glamour aren’t possible now.   I don’t think adultery/cheating is a good thing, but in today’s world of fleeting love, Tinder and all sorts of other Apps of debauchery are available to take care of their boners if those shrews won’t.

But to get back on track, its all too damn much – and that’s just regarding two of the stories that stood out to me the most after being bombarded with one piece of insanity ranging from true to greatly exaggerated after the other. Every story I come across is in all caps, screaming with a bullhorn for my attention – and they all make the world seem like its getting worse after I glance at the headlines.

Surely, I like the rest of you am taking crazy pills, or the world, society, and the culture around us is surely doomed and primed to implode – on a daily basis.    Even in our own circles, everything is almost always pessimistic.  Feminists are getting more power, safe spaces are smothering meaningful conversation, and we are constantly having to explain to shocked observers, friends, and families that we aren’t actually all those bad ist and isms they keep hearing we are – this is all despite Trumps win which is supposed to greatly move the Overton window

  • I’ve noticed how the subject of “Facts” has become extremely subjective. I still don’t know exactly how much Planned Parenthood spends on abortion via Federal Funding because every inquiry on it uses different methods to calculate the statistics.  In a world of unlimited data, we can’t see past a hazy cloud of numbers on all sides.
  •   Reliable sources all depend on what side you are on.
  • Vicious opinionated partial journalism isn’t contrary to the very nature of being a journalist because Trump is the new Hitler.   Woodward is jaded and Bernstein is weeping.  The very journalists and publications shrieking about fake news are spouting it nonstop with nary a noticeable correction in mind because the damage has been done.
  •    Fake news is now completely up to shadowy corporate internet giants that are deliberately as vague as possible as to how much of your information they are sharing with the government without warrant – and that’s if they haven’t been hit with a gag order preventing them from even talking about it.

Well it’s time to take  a damned break for a few days.  As Davis Aurini put it in one article, “Let God Sort It Out.” We hear about how the Red Pill – whatever that even means these days – induces a massive overload of the realization that the world is a dark place, life is VERY unfair, and most of what you can supposedly can control actually can’t be.  Reality ends up being made up of dark and mysterious forces beyond our control.  Your critics will always be there slandering, lying, and misrepresenting you and what you stand for.

What the hell can we actually do about any of this?

Ragequit life?  Not quite.  Take a brief glance back in history for why you need a respite from the toils of cultural and political dogfighting.   As Quintus Curtius – the resident scholar, historian and philosopher of the manosphere points out, sometimes all you need is a retreat to allow you to come back with new ideas for the battlefield.

“Sometimes being away from the fray and the fracases of life can allow us to compose our thoughts and regenerate our spirits.  This has the effect of spurring the creative soul on to higher amplitudes of output.  We forget just how distracting it is for the mind to be bombarded with invasive stimuli; and while periods of withdrawal from the fray should not be permanent, they can, in the right doses, provide just that right proportion of flint and steel to spark great works.”

Believe it or not, wisdom from the life of Machiavelli can be applied to this situation when he was forced to take a break from the politics of the day.   That lesson can be examined at the link previously mentioned.

Besides plan, scheme, and demand answers; nothing in the immediate sense.  Which of course represents a knee jerk reaction of feeling like you’ve accomplished no results because everything is measured in the short term – how we feel right now – instead of any kind of long term vision.

Let’s dip our heads into the sand for the moment.  Take a step back. We know what’s going on – we just aren’t going to let it break us.  Instead we will make love to our women, play with our kids,  drink and be merry with our friends, and take those nature hikes.  Twitter can wait.  A more disturbing and terrible story about the madness of our college campuses will be there tomorrow.

You will survive.

Just make sure you give yourself the breathing room and cultural /social media detox withdrawal to allow yourself to thrive when the world is refusing to budge your way.  Take a break, and then come back for another at-bat.