Jaxon “Jax” James Burnette and The Parents That Snapped

Jax was only six weeks old when his bones were broken. His brain started to bleed internally from being thrown very hard onto a bed.  His throat was permanently damaged when his father tried to stop him from crying by shoving his fingers down his throat attempting to find his voice box.  Jaxon would never be the same.

UPDATE  1: Jax has passed away.  Murder charges will now be in the making. This is now a dire and lethal lesson to learn. May he rest with the angels.

UPDATE 2: More information has come out that hints that Jaxon may have been abused since birth.  Drugs may have been part of it, but this was just the culmination that ended up taking Jax’s life.

UPDATE  3: (ALSO: A commentor has hinted that Jax’s father Robert had a history of this kind of violence and had tried to kill his brother. ) Further reading via the DailyMail:  “His parents told police that he’d tried to kill his own brother in various ways over the years – including beating and stabbing him as well as trying to drown and smother him.”

In this case, Robert did one snap too far. “According to court records, he has also spent time in mental health institutions for severe anger issues. ”   The signs weren’t taken seriously.

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Child abuse is a term lightly thrown around in our time which is rife with potshots at spanking, mothers threatened for letting their kids play at the park, and parents who take away their teens Iphones and ground them from Tumblr, but the story you are about to hear is a case of real abuse.  Deathly abuse.

THIS IS A CAUTIONARY TALE.   Abuse like this is always horrible and vile, but we are fooling ourselves if we believe we are all above and beyond it. Obviously, Jax’s father in particular bordered on vile – considering he did attempt to kill his parents and his brother, from what I’ve read – so I wonder if Jax actually ever stood much of a chance at life.

IMPORTANT:  A lesson here is to be LEARNED.   This post is NOT interested in any kind of justification for the abuse of Jaxon by his parents, rather it’s devoted to ensuring it doesn’t happen to another innocent child. When horrific tragedies occur, we must learn from them – even if we aren’t any of the monsters that caused or participated in them.

Of course none of us are like his father or his mother.

However we are fooling ourselves if we think we might never just have that one brief moment.  Everyone has a breaking point.  Find it, know it, and make sure you never reach it.

Know yourself,  know the signs, and know when to take a break.  Never convince yourself that the stress won’t get to you: that you’re special.   You might think you’d never be capable of this, but how many people do you know who you thought would never be capable of abuse ended up being abusive?

Many of the pictures below have been making their rounds on Facebook.  My wife showed me the below. Blood is on his bib. His parents look almost clueless as to what’s happened.

Jax probably won’t make it.  If he does, he will have severe mental and physical disabilities. EDIT: We can now confirm he has passed from the brutality of this world and into one that is far better.

Jaxon “Jax” James Burnette

His mother didn’t do anything to stop it. She would later claim that she was scared of Jax’s father as well of her father killing Jax’s dad as to why she remained silent and didn’t alert anyone to what was happening.  Whether this is completely true, we don’t know.

What happened here is a tragedy, but a human story that needs to be told.    Truth be told, we could become like Jax’s parents in a moment that is just too much to bear.  Honestly, I don’t think they ever thought they were capable of this, and now the heartbreak is to set in.   They can’t take it back.

Now, everyone is a critic these day’s when it comes to parenting.  I recall a recent story where people recoiled in disdain as one man explained how he knew a father who used to put his screaming son in a carseat and leave him in the bathroom with the fan on until he stopped crying.  IF only Jaxon’s parent’s could have done this instead. Know your limits.

So terrible huh?

As parents, we do feel bad when our children cry, especially when they are infants. But sometimes, there isn’t much you can do.  If you have had a child who is just starting to go through teething, you know what I mean.

You give your kid some infant tylenol, comfort them as much as possible, and the put them in their crib. Often, they cry themselves to sleep because of how tired they get.  Yep, that sounds kind of bad, “Crying themselves to sleep”, but its how babies fall asleep.    If that doesn’t work, perhaps the whirring white noise of a fan in the bathroom might do the trick. At some point, you need to sleep.

If we are dead honest, all parents have wanted to do this at some point.  It makes them normal, human, and capable of getting stressed out instead of the superparents we read about on blogs that seem like a sitcom fairytale.

When your child has been screaming all night, you are dead tired, stressed, and exhausted, this seems more and more like a better option.   In fact, sometimes you just need to walk away from the room for a few minutes, regain your composure, and let your headache ease just a bit.

Some deem it cruel, but let’s look at what happens when parents who don’t do the above finally snap.  Below is a picture of Jaxon “Jax” James Burnette, a 6 week old baby who will probably won’t live much longer.

Take a look at this picture and ask, “What happened?”

A mother lost her maternal instinct to protect her young and never bothered to stop the father, who lost his paternal instinct in a fit of rage at some point. For instance, from another source:

“She admitted she lied at the hospital, telling doctors she didn’t know how the baby was injured. Police say she never showed emotion during their interrogation. She referred to her son not by his name but by “the kid” or “the baby.”

Jaxon “Jax” James Burnette

Look at the picture above one more time.  It’s as if she doesn’t realize his suffering or what’s happened. I’m kind of shocked everytime, I look at it.

Perhaps these are terrible people who were not meant to be parents.   It’s one thing to look like junkies, but its another to let those drugs destroy the bond a parent has for their child.

It’s easy to hate them. But, again what if we became them?  Are they really this cold? Could we ever become this cold if we just snapped?  It’s a scary thought.

These parents; I don’t believe they are as evil as we want them to be. I’m not justifying their actions; I just see how easily it could be for parents to snap at some point and to this.

I’ll let STLToday give you the morbid details:

WENTZVILLE • A man from Wentzville shoved his fingers down the throat of his 6-week-old son. He wanted to find the baby’s voice box and stop him from crying.

More abuse followed. The baby was thrown onto a bed. Shaken violently. Picked up by the back of his neck.

All the while the baby’s mother watched and made no effort to get help.

That’s the harrowing account spelled out in St. Charles County court records documenting the abuse against the infant boy, identified only as J.B.

The boy was still alive on Friday morning but “extremely critical,” the prosecutor’s office said. He was in protective custody and being treated at Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital for, among other things, bleeding on the brain and broken bones. Doctors have told police it’s “a likely possibility” the boy will die.

J.B.  is Jaxon James Burnette It’s likely that he may never see his father again.   Another dysfunctional nightmare story if the kid survives.    I’ve only been a parent for 7 months, but I can safely say – don’t try to be a superhero mom or dad.

Jax Burnette with blood on his bib. 6 week old baby.
Lessons must be learned.

Be a parent who realizes that sometimes you need a break, that the carseat and bathroom might not be a bad idea, and that sometimes, you just have to let them cry.  

This doesn’t make you bad parents. It makes you smart, compassionate, and aware ones. Composure and patience will become welcome friends. You aren’t a bad parent. Just one that needs to walk out of the room for a bit, so you don’t snap.  Raising a kid is hard enough for two parents.  Most of us don’t have that village we need, family close by, etc.

This isn’t to say you are like Jax’s parents, it’s just that the edge is a bit closer you might realize when the crying has gotten your head pounding, your wife crabby, and your sleep has been shortened.

What happened to Jax scared me. I think we all have just enough of an inner demon in us to do something like this. Most parents will insist that they could never do anything like this…   I think they are just scared to consider they could be capable of something this heartbreaking – especially when you see Jax’s face.   I thought about my son being in his place and it almost brought me to tears.

Julius Michael Temple, my firstborn.
Julius Temple in the bath

We just need the courage to admit that we need a break to prevent us from ever getting close to this possibility. Don’t let yourself go down the path. Don’t let yourself believe you are a superparent above this kind of stress.  It’s not an admission of guilt – its a recognition of the daily demands that we as parents have.

Now Robert may have been a creature of severe anger, hate, and now murder.  If you know you have anger problems, don’t let yourself get to the place where they can manifest!!! Take a break! Walk away for a moment.  The come right back.

Deus Vult brothers.

The Red Pill Doesn’t Quite Prepare You For Being Married, Pregnancy, and Fatherhood

Julius Temple as a Baby Holding My Finger

Monday, April 18th, 2016 at 1:37 PM, my son Julius was born.  His birth was the culmination and the reward for all of the various fights, strife, conflicts, and plain out stress that me and my pregnant wife had gone through leading up to that very moment.   That said, I don’t think I was as nearly prepared for it as I thought I was.  While fatherhood strikes whether you are ready for it or not, the process leading up to it can be both a joyous and tumultuous affair.   Score one for my continued legacy and that evil Patriarchy with my sons birth though, as we are about to strengthen it’s ever growing resolve.   (My wife already told me just the other day, “I’m ready for another one.”)

That said it’s still been stressful as my son couldn’t go home with us.  He wasn’t breathing enough oxygen and had to be transferred to another hospital.  My wife’s been there every day, sometimes for 12 hours a day, with me heading there the second I’ve gotten off work.  Up until just a day ago, she couldn’t even hold him in our arms. As a new mother, it’s been killing her.

I can see the pain in her eyes, the stress in her movement, and the easy escalation of disagreements – though we’ve fought way less since he’s been born.  My wife is young – almost 20 – and this is our first child, so we as new parents are still barely scratching the surface in just what it means to be parents.   (If you’ve noticed, I try not to say my wife’s first or maiden name so certain assholes can’t target her or her future employers.)

Julius Temple as a Baby Holding My Finger
He Took My Heart Right Here – Father Moment

Yes, married couples – especially newer ones fight way more than anyone want’s to admit.

Now, we hear alot about the taking the Red Pill and what it can do for a man.  We know it can mean much more then just discovering the truth about feminism, social justice, and gender relation as Hawaiian Libertarian has pointed out. But what happens when you miss certain aspects of it, or dare I say, other “Red Pill” entirely?

Marriage isn’t something talked about nearly enough in whatever is left of the “manosphere”, though Roosh and many at ROK have made observations about about how men move past the player stage and what more from life and the worldview of Neo-Masculinity.   When it is talked about often, it’s about how men should never get married and how you should only marry foreigners if you do.

As your son looks back at you.
My son has started to open his eyes.

That’s good and all, but those of us like myself who have not only gladly taken the risk, but are creating families from it, there might be a bit lacking in the RP advice department, especially on when your wife is pregnant. While game doesn’t end when you get married, but instead evolve,  I often ask myself the following:

1. Am I being supportive enough?

2. Am I taking too much shit that I never would have taken before? Again, pregnancy is another aspect.  Women use words as weapon very effectively, and my wife is no exception when she is stressed, in pain, has a baby kicking the inside of her, and is full of hormones.  What is the appropriate course of action?

3. What should I take a stand on and what should I understand is merely a result of pregnancy?   What disagreements should I compromise on or give 100% into her on.  (Stress can cause miscarriages.)  Did she mean any of the nasty things she just said in a fight after she apologized for them just an hour later?

4. What kind of game should be run vs what kind of game is even acceptable? Honesty is important, alas why my wife knows what my worldview is.

5. How should I resolve fights? I have my normal RP way of dealing with women, but my wife isn’t just a woman, she’s the mother of my son and is love of my life.  Red-Pilled wisdom from older married men is something I wish I had way more of.   Yes, I know of stuff like this, but it doesn’t go far enough.

In our young marriage, we’ve had some terrible fights, but they’ve ended pretty quickly. Sometimes I’ve put my foot down, and it does lead to more respect.  The thing is I lack the necessary wisdom of when to use a gentle word to turn away wrath and when to be firm.  My dad gave me a piece of wisdom in that hurtful words said early are bad for the early foundation of your marriage. No brainer, of course.

For the most part when my wife is on the verbal warpath, slashing me with her tomahawk of vicious words, I usually won’t say nasty things back; something I would do in return to anyone who wasn’t my family or my wife.  I made a specific exception because she is my wife, and was pregnant.  One time however, I did slip and I was so mad, I called her a piece of shit.  Despite she had said far worse things to me during the car ride in which we were fighting, all of her nasty barbs didn’t matter. I was blown away.

Surprisingly in many way, Bill Burr was right:

Why was my wife acting like a teenager? Then it me; she’s 19. She still is a teenager.  In fact, I’m her first real relationship.  Her expectations and mine have been different on a few things.  I want my alone time – she strongly objects to this sometime, the pregnancy being part of that.   I often wondered, why does she say the nastiest shit when she’s angry?
(Sometimes whenever she is irked by my actions/words she will say in this disproving motherly tone, “Seriously?”  It irks me even more and makes me want to say, “Yea, fucking seriously.”  Then, I remember that I do indeed love her.    I just wish there were more guys out there like AverageMarriedDad and TheFamilyAlpha who know what it’s like and have advice on how to have a successful happy marriage and a resulting healthy family.  Too often, we get alot of marriage advice from men who aren’t actually married or are bitterly divorced and have a strong bias against it – somewhat understandably so.

Marriage is hard work, but it’s worth it.  Yes, it like any other major life choice is a risk, but it’s a worthy one, despite the quality of good women in our generation, the courts, and a system rigged against men.    Marriage is a risk, but what else in life isn’t a risk? Some of the best thing in life involve risk – whether that be in time investment, finances, relationships, etc.  Don’t let your life be hindered by aversion to risk, simply decide what risks are really worth it.  I do believe marriage is one -provided you find the right woman which definitely is worth it.

Holding your son for the first time is worth it. Oh and stopping fights as they happen with sex – which we do alot – is totally worth it.   In fact, if there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that if the fight is about to escalate, pull her pant’s down.  Her words, not mine.  Well, she was definitely right about that. (Also make-up sex and I’ve never had to beg for sex. Ever.)

I encourage men who aren’t sure about marriage to really look for a good woman. They are out there, though you won’t find them on Tinder, bars, etc.  Are you looking hard enough? Are your glasses filtering out the good girls?  Many of you say you want one, but do you really?  When you marry young, you do face different challenges and you would be wise to ready yourself for them. Being good at being a man is hard work.

Do you want your legacy to continue? Do you want the pleasure of having your child gaze up at you and look deeply into your eyes? Do you want to statistically have far more sex as a married man than single men do – especially when you are young?  Obviously don’t marry for just sex or even just love.  Find the right woman.  You don’t marry someone who is your soulmate. You marry someone who becomes your soulmate. Remember that dear Gentleman, and Godspeed to you.

P.S. For all future and current parents with young children, I highly suggest Quintus Curtius’ blog which will provide a foundation of classical themed education and insight that is so lacking these days.   He is that Aristotle that you’re sons in particular need as their tutor as they delve into those famed classics.