Will It Be Possible For Our Kids To Find A Spouse?

Picture is from The Spruce.

Pandora’s Sexual Box

Rod Dreher may be labeled a cuckservative on many an occasion, but I find his blog at the American Conservative to be quite relevant to the situation of many Christians and those shocked liberals who wonder how such an “immoral” man like Trump could have been elected president.

He makes the following point in a post about the accusations swirling around G.H.W. Bush and Weiseltier and how loose the definition of sexual assault is and what it means for our kids when they enter the dating market in their futures.

“In this climate, I can well imagine that people are scared to death to show the slightest romantic interest in anybody in the workplace, for fear that they’ll be accused of “sexual assault.” How are people supposed to meet each other for normal human courtship, then? I ask this as the father of two sons and a daughter. I don’t want these kids to grow into adults who sexually harass or who are sexually harassed. But I also worry about false accusations that could ruin them professionally and personally. If you aren’t worried about this too, you aren’t paying attention.”

(Yes, I do actually enjoy reading Rod and I think the Benedict Option is a worthy alternative.)

While the left has been annihilating any of the Christian moral foundations to American law and culture, they haven’t come up with any coherent worldview to indoctrinate the populace and the “identity” based alternatives they offer have caused a backlash from people who don’t want to turn the other cheek.

In fact, they don’t even care about being Christian.  It’s a nominal thing for them just like it is for those Muslims who were born into it, but prefer life in the West with booze, drugs, and fast sex.  They have no “faith” to hold them back to the moral high ground.

Indeed, a wake-up call for those who were convinced that the less “religious” people became, the more “progressive” and educated they would become.  I suppose Trump’s election are making a few on the left quite woke.

Now remember, when prudish backward bigoted Christians pointed out the Pandora’s box that would be unleashed with unbridled and encouraged sexual degeneracy, they were dismissed, ridiculed, and of course labeled.

Now that the box is open and the Titans are wreaking havoc without restraint.   Women, like men,  were encouraged by feminists to engage in sexual deviancy and meaningless hook-ups in a culture and system that still retained the foundations and some men influenced by the Christian moral framework.

That’s gone. Tinder is here, and everyone is meat.

Those of us who don’t lie to ourselves know that men and women respond to sex differently and that women regret one night-stand far more than men.   Obviously sex being more emotional for women and physical for men is misogyny.

Well, now the cultural identity left is forced to scramble to rectify the new imbalances created when they opened Pandora’s box.   That includes the “Dear Colleague” letter on Title IX,  an ungodly obsession with “sexual assault”, the constant attacks on “toxic masculinity”, demonizing of any male spaces, and an overall attempt to make men pay – in anyway possible – for pumping and dumping.

It has already turned the dating scene for many men – and women – into a nightmare.  High insane unreasonable standards are thrust into normalcy.  Blue collar men are thrown out of pool right away and single mothers and divorced women in their late 30s to early 40s are treated as potential booty calls at most.

The Depressing World Our Children Will Inherit

I try to avoid a pessimistic mindset when it comes to the future, but in this situation and circumstance the current reality seems to be growing worse.   Me and my wife have two young infant sons.

What will the dating world look like for them when they go out and try to find a woman worthy of marriage?  (Which means definitely not in the workplace anymore.)

As their Father, I will impart into them all of the “Red Pill” knowledge and wisdom I’ve accrued – admittedly not that much compared to better men out there. However, I fear they will be punished for their realistic attitudes, noble intentions, and their eventual ascent into manhood.

Rod makes a good point as to the kind of world our kids are going to enter when it comes to trying to find a spouse.  I too am wondering just how far this insanity is going to go – on top of the increased hatred of men that my sons are certain to experience in a bleak future.

If they go through a similar “prodigal son” phase as I did, will it cost them everything?  Will I have to tell them to video record their encounters just in case they have bad judgement?

If “affirmative” consent is being seriously considered – which it has via implementation as law in places like California, what will that mean when my sons engage in actual flirting, mannerisms, and “game” that makes women actually want to talk to them, date them, etc?  Will asking a girl out immediately equate to “sexual harassment”?

Before I met my wife, I would go to bars with friends.  I recall one time where a semi-drunk girl came up to me and started grinding on my body a bit as I was standing with my back turned to her. She also kissed my neck.  She gave me that “Ewww” vibe.

I didn’t see her as attractive and I wasn’t looking for an easy bang/getting laid that night – more of a guys night out – so I nicely and gently pushed her away and went to the other side of the bar. I wasn’t harsh about it, but it took a bit of effort to claw her off me so to speak.

I didn’t give her permission. I certainly wasn’t “inviting” it with my demeanor and behavior at the time. Was it sexual harassment or even sexual assault?  If you accept the feminist concept of it, then you bet your ass it is.  Should I post #MeToo and try to find out who this girl is shame her, get her fired from her job, etc?  Apparently so.

Rod links to a series of tweets by Cathy Young who makes some astute points on what we are unleashing:

On the other end, I’ve done similar things. I’m a firm believer in physical touch and slow escalation when mingling out in public – granted touching ones arm, shoulder, etc. If a girl didn’t like it, they usually moved away from me or in the very rare case would tell me not to touch them. That was the end of it.

So it comes down to that “permission” concept. The sexual revolution and it’s current sense of how any kind of sexual anything goes doesn’t seem to reconcile with how sex and human interaction works. Yet the irrational idea of “affirmative consent” is making its way out of colleges and into law.

It used to be a given that if you were with someone, even married to them, usually you didn’t need “permission” to initiate affection with them. Now this is under scrutiny, if not direct assault.

My wife doesn’t get “affirmative consent” from me when she wakes me up in the middle of the night when she’s feeling a sudden burst of passion. Sometimes I go with it, sometimes I end up pushing her off – both often in a semi sleep state which she tells me about in the morning. (In my defense, I have a high sex drive, but wifes is even higher.)

By the logic coming from these people on “sexual harassment/assault” every couple must be doing it to each other every day.  Sometimes I’m tired and I don’t feel like having sex, but I oblige my wife who desires the release.  Again feminists will find it border line rapey – diminishing the true horror the concept should incur within us.

That leaves us in a place where anyone scorned has massive power. Eventually it will go overboard the Salem Witch Trials and have a stop put to it. Thing is, how many relationships and people will be utterly ruined before that happens?  The tally is rising in the moral paragon of Hollywood and media who lectured us about our bigoted misogyny and these shitlists of the accused are coming out all over.

We let this sexual “freedom” out of the bottle, but we never did examine those implicit parameters which guided it prior. We assumed the nature of the beast would be enjoyed in the same way it was before. Now people are finding out everything has to be “set in stone” to the point of killing how humans sexuality and romance actually occurs.

Now we are in for a turbulent unpredictable future – something that doesn’t bode well for allowing a society to remain stable.

Legislating what is best for everyone – the consequences be damned!

There has been a question on a mind that has been bugging me as of late; Do we actually care about people, or do we just say and/or pretend that we do?  A nasty fact of life is that the world is filled with people who are hurting with a lot of that pain being caused by the communities around them. A fellow acquaintance and “left-wing” Christian on a forum I follow made this startling assertion:

Unfortunately, you sometimes have to force people to do what is best for both society and themselves.

I hate to say it, but a lot of us have this idea at our base that lends to the direct and indirect advocacy of this pain.  Ideas like this have consequences  Often there are good intentions behind this idea, but the consequences always seem to be devastating upon the less fortunate in society. How does this idea translate into society? “Gulp.” The greater good for society apparently, whatever that actually is. (Hitler had some interesting ideas about the greater good. Very nasty and deadly ones.) Granted, the author of this statement doesn’t intend for this notion to be used to oppress people, but this idea does precisely that when followed to it’s logical conclusion. I can only feel somewhat guilty as a Christian that I have not done enough to do my part in countering this idea in popular culture today.

Huh? Let me formulate my thoughts a bit further.   Unfortunately this is an idea that must be constantly refined and the imposition of the idea closely examined in every circumstance . This idea is the very nature of law. We assume that society functions best when what is best for society and members of society is established through law;  more specifically through the force behind the laws determining exactly what that is “best.” Scary eh?

Well how do we address the extreme implementation of  what is  “best”  in a completely post-modern society?  Just in the 20th century we have seen the above quote used to justify the murder and oppression of tens of millions of people.  We have seen the poor trampled underfoot and the miscarriage of justice become commonplace.  This is of course what happens when the extreme of this idea becomes an idea of sensibility in people’s minds.  (Notice this idea in both current political parties?) The question is: how do we balance this idea correctly, fairly, and reasonably? Note the subjective nature of those 3 previous adverbs in society.  Therein may be our deepest problem.  

By what standard do we determine what is correct, fair, and reasonable? If not a Biblical standard, then what do we appeal to?  Tyrants and dictators have used these three words to oppress people and to justify that oppression for as long as we can remember.  Are we going down a similar path in America? Most Americans would insist that they do indeed care about their fellow American, but do they really?   If we implement ideas that are good and beneficial for society by the force of law, do we run the risk of oppressing those who disagree? Is the legislation of any idea into society always the best approach to solve the many problems we encounter on a daily basis?

We’ve made many, MANY laws in this country. On January 1st of 2010, we introduced on state and federal levels over 40,000 laws on the books and 40,000+ more laws in 2012. Granted PoltiFact disagrees with these numbers for 2012, but even in the lower thousands, the number is still astonishingly high. Just think about having to be aware of a few thousand new laws and the time and effort that would demand. (Note that I couldn’t find a conclusive figure regarding the amount of laws passed in 2011, though it appears to be around 30k. Also something to point out is that not all of these laws come into affect the next year, but over the course of several years.)

So how in the hell are we ever supposed to be consciously aware of every law out there? It’s impossible, but as any judge will tell you, “Ignorance of the law is no excuse.”   Well, that’s rather unfortunate for the poor single mother who can’t afford a lawyer, but at least whatever law she may have violated had good intentions ins mind, right? Just how easy is it to be “ignorant” of all these laws, just for the ones implemented in 2010?  The publisher at amelia.com had an insight as to the what we face on a daily basis in regards to ignorance of the law: I have been a numbers man all my life and the realization that modern society requires me to know the Laws I am potentially exposed to, made me try to quantify the time needed to familiarize myself superficially with 40,627 new laws if I would spend 2 minutes per newly introduced law. It would take 81,254 minutes or 1,354 hours or 169¬† 8-hour workdays to know my rights and plights pertaining to these 40,000 plus laws.

I have been a numbers man all my life and the realization that modern society requires me to know the Laws I am potentially exposed to, made me try to quantify the time needed to familiarize myself superficially with 40,627 new laws if I would spend 2 minutes per newly introduced law. It would take 81,254 minutes or 1,354 hours or 169  8-hour workdays to know my rights and plights pertaining to these 40,000 plus laws.

The task of becoming familiar with laws that can reign all hell and possibly prison bars upon our lives is very intimidating. When you drive down the street and see someone pulled over – Round Lake Beach anyone- do we consider just how many possible traffic violations they could have committed? You’d be shocked by the amount of well-intentioned traffic laws that exist in Illinois.

I myself have been a victim of “unknown” traffic violations. Prepare for a story/small rant. A few months back I got a ticket for Scott’s law. I’d never heard of it before. Neither did anyone I know or my Aunt who is actually a police officer in Algonquin.  Scott’s Law has a minimum fine of 100$ to a maximum of 10,000$ plus the possibility of a license suspension. When I looked up the law online, I was scared out of my mind.  I managed to plead the violation to a lesser violation in court, because having Scott’s Law on your record is like having a bulls-eye painted on your car for every cop in Illinois to target.  Just imagine a single mom in the Round Lake area or some minimum wage worker getting hit with just a 1000$ fine for a violation of Scott’s Law. Yes, justice really does favor the rich. I was lucky in that I only had to fork over 150.00$ for a lawyer, plus the fine which ended up being only 75$ but totaled over 300$ because of the 200$ in court fees that our state charges. Yea, let me repeat that, 200$ in court fees. No wonder they always try to make you show up in court for a ticket!

This is yet another example of laws with good intentions being used to essentially squeeze more money out of people who are barely making ends meet. It won’t stop here. Expect the amount of “good-intentioned” laws to skyrocket.  The fact that I live in Illinois simply means that people will vote in the same politicians who will in turn keep churning out new laws to “solve” the problems we face just in this state on a daily basis. To make matters worse we encourage politicians to be “lawmakers.”

What have our good intentioned laws bought us? Over two million Americans in prison and growing. Let’s think about that for a moment. Two million Americans in prison. Prison Song anyone? That’s a guaranteed two million broken families. Did we actually bother to think about the impact of the drug laws that were supposed to stabilize society? Look at Chicago as to what the war on drugs has wrought upon the families there.  Isn’t it obvious what happens to the teenager with a jailed father who has literally no one around him to keep him accountable, to make him stay in school , and to discipline him for the small things before they escalate into prison term offenses?  The war on drugs has done far more harm to the African American community in this country then racism ever has. But hey, those laws were for the good of society right? Those people doing drugs obviously don’t know what’s good for them, so we need to force them to do what is good for them by passing more laws!  Did we ever think what happens to the people we’ve thrown in jail after they are finally released? Good luck getting a job!

I look at communities around me that face some very real problems; distraught and broken families, failing schools, high crime rates, high youth unemployment, ect.  Instead of truly going out of our way to actually help them, we either throw money at the problem -which usually never ends up going to them- and/or pass a few laws to try and discourage whatever element we think is contributing to the problems.  We’ve been recycling this process of dealing with issues despite the fact that it has not worked.  How about we change the way we address these problems? Pro-tip: You can’t solve the above issues through legislation. You can only solve them through revitalizing and restoring communities. As Christians we should be fully aware that this is what the Gospel was intended to do! The Gospel is what brings hope to the broken and repairs the damage to the families in our communities. Even the secular humanist is aware that addressing the problems this country faces starts in each of our homes and our surrounding communities. Should we not be even more aware of our callings as commanded by Scripture rather then by man’s selfish attempts to do what he or she thinks is good?

The Church needs to get back to what it used to do; strengthen and build up communities. We have a responsibility to the shattered communities around us. We have a responsibility to the broken families, the single mothers, and the children turning to gangs in a desperate attempt to find community. We have a responsibility to show that Christ cares about the broken, the downtrodden, and those in the worst of situations.  The early church cared for the babies left to die, the poor in the streets, and the unjustly oppressed. Are we doing the same? Are we advocating for abortion laws in Washington and forgetting about the single teenage mother with no income?

Are we proclaiming the Gospel through our actions or just through our words and to each other in our own little Sunday morning bubble? Our lifestyle and what we do with our time should clearly communicate what the Gospel is all about.  Let us take a stand on the issues of abortion and homosexuality -as the church rightfully should-  but let us not forget that there is much more to God’s Word.  We can talk all we want about Christ’s love, but we must actually demonstrate and show His love in our communities, our time, and our finances every day of our lives.  Let us escape from our own little bubbles and start to become apart of the many different societal bubbles around us so that the truth of the Gospel is displayed for all to see.  As St. Francis of Assisi said, “Preach the Gospel always; if necessary use words.”