Quintus Curtius Is Today’s Paul Harvey

Bedtime Stories Unearthed From History For Adults

I’ve been unsure of just how to write this review of Quintus.  He is a friend of mine and I hope I can relay accurately just how incredible his work is.  I want people to be able to realize the grasp of what he’s been doing and it’s significance to us men today and our children in the future.

Inspiration for the subtitle of this post comes from me reading through his site and chapters from his book right before bed, enjoying a new piece of history that was previously unknown to me – similar to the late great Paul Harvey’s “The Rest Of The Story”.   Enter his treasure trove of untold stories and you will know my comparison is not exaggerated.

“In times like these it helps to recall there have always been times like these.” – Paul Harvey

Chatting with him over the phone,  through emails,  and in conversations of various kind, I’ve realized that Quintus is exactly who he says he is.   His lessons from both personal experience and from history are coming from someone sees past much of the political and culture war aspect that dominate much of the manosphere and anglospheres.  He really is our very own Paul Harvey. 

It’s with that comparison you realize just how much of a breath of fresh air Quintus is, especially in recent days when everyone on both sides is screaming about Trump, feminism, immigration, and white nationalism.

As NeoReaction (NRx) is the thinktank and shares overlap of many in our spheres, Quintus is our philosopher for those who don’t wish to learn the language of the NRx crowd of infiltration, as well someone who provides a different but important set of foundations and principles.   His work seeks out an audience consisting of those who search for substance instead of viral entertaining prose about fleeting events.

True actual Renaissance men – are rare to encounter these days, let alone one’s who are public, articulate – yet readable by the us laymen, and can write with both a fiery passion and a fine tuned nose for taking the stories of history and presenting in a simple manner as to why they matter to us today.

Quintus Curtius: A foundational archive for knowledge and rebuilding western culture
A Mission In Mind

Meet Quintus Curtius, the manosphere’s own historian, translator, philosopher, and writer – though he would describe himself as a “humanist”.  Further credentials for you of an academic mind include being a former marine, current world traveler, publishing four books – including a phenomenal and readable translation of the two thousand year old classic”On Duties” by Cicero, and having taught himself Latin, Arabic, and Portuguese.   Channing Tatum may have the looks, but Quintus has the brains that so many of the most esteemed scholars of today wish they possessed.

Quintus has his own site via Fortress Of The Mind, but he has been writing for Return Of Kings for 3 years with a weekly Monday column without fail – to give you an idea of his dedication, consistency and perseverance. Now when we think of that “most vile” website Return Of Kings, we think first about it’s viral articles.

Whether it was Tuthmosis talking about signs you know shes a slut or Forney’s 5 reasons why you shouldn’t date girls with tattoos or piercings, ROK’s truest and most important gems often go unnoticed.

That gem has been most of the articles Quintus writes for ROK and his own site.  Fortune is finally and justly smiling on Quintus in recent days with a curious attack on his work was launched by Mark Zuckerberg’s very own sister.   Of course, this is boosting his recognition and scope of his  audience.

Oddly, but deliberately timed are her efforts.  Quintus has a mission – and a very personal and heavy time investment – of equipping men with knowledge, wisdom, and purpose primarily through the classics, history, and biography.  Notice the archive he is assembling at his site, the books he has written and the common themes throughout them and that its readable even by the layman.

On his site in the “About” section, you’ll notice that he says his goals are to educate, inspire, and to entertain and the different method he goes about achieving this.  Of course we all know feminists are harpies, but more articles about slutty Western women aren’t going to help men become their best and reverse our cultural decline.   Understanding this Quintus points out his educational mission:

Educate.  My books deal heavily with themes from history, philosophy, and biography.  I use these subjects as the trunk of the tree on which I can graft my own ideas and interpretations of these subjects.  I do not belong to any political affiliation; rather, I see myself as a “humanist” in the Renaissance sense of this term.  Several chapters of my books “Thirty Seven” and “Pantheon” deal specifically with this subject (i.e., the education of the young).
 
The current educational curriculum in the United States (as well as in much of the West) has seriously neglected classical learning and humanistic knowledge for some time.  This has resulted in the degradation of the training of character, morals, and masculine virtue.  Women have also suffered from this neglect of the cultivation of virtue.  A good portion of my readers are women, believe it or not.  My goal is to bring this neglected or forgotten knowledge to a new audience who may have never had any exposure to it before.  I have done this through my translations, books, and blog articles.

Quintus is serious in this endeavor. If you take the time, you’ll notice articles on everything ranging from proper speech delivery to ways to overcome failure to learn a new language.   Don’t forget knowledge about men’s health  and the necessity of variety in one’s fitness routines is covered. Can you see the classical influence yet?  Even in his travels he brings back lessons to be shared.

Most of the people we know have neither time nor reason to further their own self-education.  Netflix is too easy, gaming is too pleasant of a distraction,  criticizing feminism and SJWs easy slap-on-the-back choir noise,  and the 24/7 news cycle an addictive dopamine to convince ourselves we KNOW what’s actually going on.    So why bother?

To this extent, Quintus provides inspiration to delve deeper. Stumbling upon a writers best work is how you get hooked, and I’m glad I did.   While some of the more elite writers might scoff, awakening the desire to learn once again is how a cultural renaissance begins.  Quintus demonstrates why inspiration is so important:

Inspire.  Good writing inspires readers.  Reading about great figures in history, literature, art, science, medicine, and any other field of endeavor can inspire readers to their own achievements.  I have the ability to take incidents from history and to write about them in a way that focuses their relevance to contemporary affairs.  I also have written extensively about my own personal experiences and views of life.  Taken together, these subjects let readers know that they are not alone, and that others have shared their struggles and emerged triumphant.

Do you gentleman want to awaken some of that inspiration ? I’d highly recommend the survival story of anarartic explorer Douglas Mawson  in which Quintus demonstrates the importance of why his survival story MATTERS and what we can take away from it.

Mawson would survive through shear willpower alone one of the most harrowing and vicious conditions I’ve read about.  Here’s a quick summary: 310 miles from his main base in Antarctica him and his companion lost their sled-dog team and all of their food and resources which fell off an ice ledge.   He would drag his companion through the bitter freezing subzero conditions with winds that regularly reached 200 mph toward.

His companion would die from the conditions, but Mawson would refuse to give up even with his flesh falling off his bones .   Continuing toward a hut filled with supplies that was over a hundred miles away, he would LITERALLY will himself to survive, crawling and stumbling the last 26 miles to it.  Let Quintus relay the eloquence of this incredible feat in his own words:

“As he approached Commonwealth Bay, Mawson made out a black speck in the distance. He approached it, walking, stumbling, and crawling, and he could eventually see that it was the hut. One of the remaining search party, a man named Frank Bickerton, chanced to see Mawson lurching about in the distance in the snow. He and several other men ran out to make contact with the desperate figure. They did not know who he was at first. The skin was falling off what remained of his flesh, most of his hair had fallen out, his hands and feet were barely functional, he was covered in frostbite and frozen sores, and he could hardly speak. Mawson collapsed in their arms, and his ordeal was over.”

It was this story – which he tells in vivid detail in his book Pantheon, which I’ve read and poured through multiple times.   That leads us to another point actually – all of Quintus books should have notes taken on them during readings . Each time you come back to a particular essay, you can come away with new insight because his material is designed to be re-read and studied.

His approach to history is wide ranging, full of such depth, and dare I say; inclusive – and I don’t mean in the current sense of the buzzword.  Many of his lessons from history include the best of the Arab classists, poets, and historians ranging from Ibn Khallikan to Ibn Khaldun.  Quintus even delves into the work of Lu Hsun, Machiavelli, and Libanius.

This wide range also includes the importance of Brazilian explorers and photographers such as Candido Rondon and Sebastião Salgado as he find nuggets to share via Brazilian history.  Again, one that stands out in particular concerning Brazil is their “Rubber Soldiers” and how through their efforts in the Amazon, the US was able to have access to rubber during World War Two.  In my greatness, I’d never heard of them before.  But that’s not all.

Quintus realizes that an entertaining writer is one who can bring men out of their slumber.  Sometimes all we need is that small push to drive us toward finding a fire within ourselves.  Laziness is often far more difficult to overcome, but that bit of entertainment in one’s self education can be the spark.  Quintus points this out as the 3rd significant part of his mission:

Entertain.  Everyone likes a good, engaging story.  One cannot convey a message unless he is able to maintain the attention of the reader.  I have designed my books in such a way that they can be opened at any place, and read with profit and entertainment at that place.
 
My personal observation is that the youth (and adults) of today have lost touch with the values, mores, traditions, and glories of the past.  It is my purpose to hunt down these forgotten treasures, dust them off, and bring them to a new generation of readers in a way that is unique, engaging, and entertaining.  That is my purpose.

Did you know Michael Collins is more than just whiskey? How about the strange adventures of Antonio Marques da Sylva?  The story behind the character assassination of baseball legend Ty Cobb? The dark death rituals behind the history of the Sardonic Laugh”?  Ancient treatment for the Common Cold? The worst pistol of World War Two?  That Slobodan Milosevic wasn’t a war criminal?  I can’t help but remember Paul Harvey.

Quintus Curtius’ thorough examination of these men isn’t because of any faux appeal to “diversity” and political correctness, but because of the merit of their work.    That is exceedingly rare these days when it comes to trying to find extraordinary and worthy snippets from world writers past and present that isn’t being pushed for some kind of social justice-esque motive.

Do you really desire more than just mere “self-improvement”, but an understanding of history, philosophy, and culture that will teach life lessons? Quintus is then VERY worthy of your time – much more so than many of the writers out there that dabble in justifiable outrage porn – that we all enjoy.

What he seeks to give us is the wisdom that so many men have only managed to acquire late in their life – and if you look at the stories he unearths from the past, you may indeed come to know not just the rest of the story like Paul Harvey, but why you should take inspiration and motivation from it.  Take hold of the future for it lies before you.   Don’t let your youth be wasted on the young.   Invest your time in Quintus’s work and begin your quest.

 

 
 

How To Endure Life’s Boredom, Beatings, and Jaded Outlook

“I’m Bored!”

Those dreaded useless words I hear uttered frequently by everyone ranging from my 14 year old cousin to my pot-head friends of yesteryear to my lovely lass wife.  Yes, she doesn’t want to watch Netflix or some other movie for yet ANOTHER night, but finances are tight as I’m the only one working for the man right now.

We aren’t just bored.  We go to bed expecting tomorrow to be exhausing, unfuffiling, and frustrating knowing nothing worthwhile will be accomplished. Stuck in a trance-like state, we’re going through the motions, even when lazy and lounging around.  Yes, we are tired from caring for an infant, and my pregnant again wife is always exhausted, but still it’s not supposed to be like this.

What’s missing?

An endurance in the fulfillment and contentment in what we’ve accomplished as a family – in a short time.  Our phones and Netflix are just a distraction in our attempt to relax and ignore reality for the moment because it’s too painful.  Idle hands really are the devils workshop. Of course there is some context.

I’m an asshole to myself and in my leadership role.   Hunkering  down each night in the living room to watch da Netflix and waste time informing myself via the news, twitter, and the blogosphere isn’t because I desperately desire it, but rather because money is tight and our infant son needs to be in his crib.  It’s a convenient and even truthful excuse

Even with it being a valid excuse, I KNOW I need to get us off TV at night time and toward something productive so we aren’t “bored”.   Between getting fat and gaining 20 damn pounds over these two pregnancies and working a sedentary call center gig,  I’m the fattest I’ve ever been.   Exercise, I need you.

Excuses Please

Yes, I should be taking us on fun adventures with plenty of walking that you see in da movies, but can we really take a 9 month old infant out on a stroll at 10 PM in 20 degree weather regardless of how well bundled up he is?

Take into account the meth addicts that seem to be prowling the streets and parks and the possible excitement we might encounter goes against our parental instincts.  When you become parents, you have to be far more responsible then you actually may want to be in your struggle against .   The delayed maturity that men in particular deal with hits hard and fast – or at least it should when you become a father.

We remain hunkered inside our bunker, trying to get our minds off life watching movies, still bored, and my wife still stressed though her pregnancy.  (A recipe ripe for producing arguments between couples.)

Ideally, I’d love to go out, grab some food, feel cool, splurge the cash, and not worry about spending money for once.  Showing off our 9 month old son to everyone at that establishment makes us feel like we’ve done – or rather made someone worthy of plenty of gazing.

True story, as every time we take him out, women drool and gush over how cute he is.  Yes, he is very cute.

However, when we go out, is it a useful investment of our time? Who are we hanging out with?  Will sharing time with them build us up?

Going out makes us feel like we are taking a break from our mundane lives living in a place we shouldn’t even be.  It’s why us millennial blow so much damn money on food when we should be saving it for that house that won’t be coming from a job that won’t we be getting because of our useless degrees.   Forgetting about life for that moment really is key.

For my pregnant wife, it takes some of the stress off.   Otherwise, it’s back to our dinky apartment where I will get yelled at for something all stemming back from boredom.  First we loved this apartment, as it was a place of our own.

Now it just reminds us of bad decisions, filthy and thieving neighbors, and all the food places around us which we shouldn’t spend money because we need to be responsible for once and save some of it.

Are They Really Down On Their Luck?

Hell, at least when we do blow dat money, it’s not on meth like much of the surrounding “homeless” population seems to do. In fact, these “homeless” folks often walk a mile down the road to their truck, throw that cardboard sign “Homeless and Hungry” into the back and drive on off.

I’m sure their plight is as bad as they want us to believe, but you’d think they’d make it obvious by dressing worse instead of like they just went shopping at the mall.  Panhandling is the way of the future.

Just the other day I was approached by some guy who asked me if I had change for the bus.  Immediately I was annoyed, irritated, and actually tired.    Where I’m from in Illinois, people beg for “change for the bus” all the damn time only to spend it on booze, cigs, drugs, or other fleeting pleasures.

Frankly, it pisses me off because unless I personally know them or someone I respect vouches for them, I can assume they are trying to shake me down like I’m some kind of hipster white costal elite type who is plagued by guilt and a trust fund who needs his good deed for the day.

Telling this guy I knew what he was up to, he still held frame.  So I decided to give him a 1$.  He then went straight into Walgreens to buy his bus ticket I’m sure.  Add getting that buck out of me to his wall of accomplishments.  What a waste of time.

Currently where I live, there is a horrible meth problem – one of the worst in the nation – as well as “homeless” people everywhere.  Sorting through the actual victims vs the pretenders makes me a jaded man.  I promise I’m going somewhere with this post.

Looking In A Cracked Mirror

However, it’s made do some soul searching.  Me and my wife have gotten food from the local church pantry here.  Did someone else need it more? Yes we have 100$ left in our bank account, but we did do frivolous spending prior.

Taking her out multiple times for dinner, buying her a maternity coat for the winter that actually fits, and getting us numerous other things at Walmart that while we could utilize, we didn’t absolutely need has got me thinking.

If I’m honest, I need to wonder if we are abusing the local safety nets – even slightly.  Yes, it’s just me working and I can barely pay all the bills sometimes.  Hell, we were down to 2$ in our bank account for about three days to get us through to pay day.

On the other hand, baby food is expensive, as is formula, clothes, etc.  Wages aren’t great and the cost of living still isn’t low enough to really save any money on one income with one infant and another on the way.   Is this all included in the thought process when charitable places don’t have a problem giving us food, aid, and help?

I’ve seen people with a far worse plight then my own;  families literally on the street outside my apartment complex.    I have a smart phone, wifi at my apartment, and we only have to pay the electric bill when it comes to utilities.  Sometimes I’ll even have around 150$ something left over after bills to get us through to the next check.   Our two door car is in good shape, and while small, it get’s us where we need to go with no car payment. Yes, it could be much worse.

The admirable American dream is still currently out of reach for me.  My wife is planning on getting a nursing gig here and seeing if they will pay for part of med school, but nothing is assured.

Our families have been very helpful.  My parents have bought us diapers, formula, and even shipped some non perishables to our house.   Our relatives have all given us some money. My wife’s grandmother who loves us dearly has sent plenty of cash our way when times have been dire.

Essentially, we are blessed.   We just keep forgetting because there is plenty of time on our hands stuck inside our apartment to ponder on what hasn’t gone our way yet.

So shouldn’t I render the same to the discarded rubbish on the street nearby?  I want to, but I’m not entirely sure who really needs help and who is just pretending.  Then again, that thought goes through my head – are we pretenders as well?

We aren’t standing out with signs, but we have gotten help.  Did people think we were worse off then we were? Surely, I hope we have not misled anyone.

Crawling Toward The Endzone

Even with self-reflection, it’s hard to be content and grateful for what we have because we aren’t anywhere close to reaching our goals and living our dreams.  Then again, even if we do, what then? Will we have a similar trance state of life, just with less worry, wondering what then shall we do?

Ease and relaxation are wonderful.  But they are not goals.  They are temporary, transitory conditions of the spirit.” – Quintus C

My wife isn’t thinking about how lucky we are to have a car – she’s thinking about how she’s pregnant again, unable to go to school and/or work, how finances are tight, and how much we miss our friends and family.  This in spite of how much we’ve actually accomplished this far together.  Why the sense of not just failed dreams, but of a lack of fulfillment in the one’s we have lived?

We need a mindset shift.  In a post about the struggles of life, Quintus Curtius  talks about the “Endzone” and about how we create goals for ourselves and yet still feel unaccomplished.

We must never allow ourselves to feel broken, defeated, debilitated, or beaten by life.  I will not allow this.  I will not permit this disease of defeatism in my life.  Will not.  Ever.”

Boredom and that trance like state spiral toward feelings of despair and failure before driving us toward any other kind of reality – Netflix for example – to take our minds off it instead of actually fixing it.  Eventually, it seeps through our diversion shields and breaks them.

When we falter toward the above,  boredom and distraction from it lead to that feeling of being beaten up by life lying down and reaching in vain for that fresh green endzone.

I’m not even in the endzone – I’m struggling within 80 yards of it, on my hands and knees dragging my burdens along.   But life is just that – a constant struggle to the day we die trying to arrive.   This is no cause for despondency and acceptance of vanity however.

Through the struggles in life is where we make and leave our mark.  Our character is refined in the furnaces of life and  reputations are forged.  Obstacles are overcome and foundations set. Stories are born and tales of your golden days are told to your grandchildren gathered around you.

You just can’t see it yet.

“But this does not mean that life is an endless sequence of gloom and doom, of conflict on top of conflict, signifying nothing.   No, far from it. It only means that life is for the living. Life is for the stout of heart. For the coeurs de leon.” – Quintus Curtius

 

 

The Sting Of Betrayal

My Own Benedict Arnold Moment

Every man will experience his own “Benedict Arnold” moment. While it might not take place in a revolutionary war to determine the fate of nation being born, it will still leave a blackened stained touch in your memory.

What motivates betrayal? Often it’s money, greed, jealousy, and the desire to attain power. To do that you have to step on people to move up the ladder of power. Certainly, I was stepped on like a scared housewife stomps on an ugly bug while squeaking out a brief, “Eeek!!!!”

My own betrayal  moment caught me off guard.   None of the above seemed like the motivator for the betrayal.  What could the reason have been?  It felt as cold, sharp, and damaging as an Ozark ice storm.  Even now, the though of “WTF, why?” keeps running through my mind.  Often, I prefer for my dirty laundry to stay in the bin, but in this case I will have to reveal my boxers.

I’m a blabber, a conversationalist, and an open book.  Some people love this about me, others loathe it, but few have ever managed to use it against me in a way that cuts deep.

Thing is, I don’t know how much was deliberate and honest-to-god opining on me and how much was cruel intentioned barbs designed to hurt my relationship with my in-laws and my wife. Timing was absolutely horrible as I’m just starting to build a better relationship with my in-laws who weren’t huge on me.

My old boss who I was my absolute unfiltered self around, a man I thought I could trust and actually have “real-talk” with, and someone who I respected – even though he let me go, delivered whatever his own brand of personal vengeance was against me managed to tell the “truth” about me in the worst possible ways.

No grudges did I hold against him when he let me go, in fact I even kept in good contact with him.  However, he indeed held grudges against me which I was unaware of until he told my in-laws about them instead of myself.

Normally, this would be a landmine that would be overcome after one detonation, but he will be in a “life” group with my in-laws for the foreseeable future.  Essentially, I will have someone who can’t be trusted in an environment where trust is supposed to be of the essence.  Circle of trust indeed.

I did somewhat conquer my fear of heights

I’m used to detractors that I barely know,  online critics, and people whose personalities clash with my own and they can all get bent.   Nothing is what I expect from them.  This though felt like I had been cheated on – which I haven’t, it was just that I trusted him that much.  It hurts.

Imagine someone misrepresents your character as much as possible and, sprinkles in a few lies to really get the pot stirred, and plants all sorts of possibilities in your pregnant wife’s head who already is going through raging pregnancy hormones and trust issues from her past.

In this case, her parents were the recipients of Benedict Arnold and the details were passed to her and then she passed them to me.  Chain of information indeed.   My wife wasn’t supposed to be told, and neither was I.

Perhaps my old boss thought what he was saying was true, or my in-laws drew some exaggerated conclusions that were then passed to my wife. That would be a comforting thought.  Honestly, I thought he would always be honest  with any grievances against myself and come talk to me about it.

I actually thought that I was with someone who I didn’t have to filter myself and everything from “locker-room talk” to how men  actually talk on the job site when you work in the trades.   This is what bugs me so much.   That connection I thought I had with someone wasn’t actually there – maybe I forced myself into believing it was, considering I was earnestly looking for a fellow man I could trust in an area where I don’t know anyone.

The Sword Thrusts of Betrayal

Likely it is not the case.    Two lies in particular left me shocked. (1) That he paid me 20$ and hour when he paid me 13$.  (2) That me and the other guy he had hired were going out after we were dropped off from work to the bar and blowing money.    Odd, considering me and this other guy didn’t like each other.

The truth that was manipulated against me in fascinating way too.  Apparently one such truth was how I constantly wanted to go out after work with my boss to the bar and grab a drink.

Absolutely, this was true.   I wanted to bond with my boss as I believed he was someone I could be my genuine self-around. One of the best ways you can do this is to indeed grab a drink and sit down.

In his defense however, he could never really do this as he was trying to be back at home by 6 to be with his family.  I can understand this and perhaps he believes me to be some kind of deviant who would rather be out drinking then helping out his pregnant wife at home – or at least that how it sounded when I was told about it.

Another “truth” was about how I misled him about my skillset, even though I told him what I knew from the start.  Now both me and him were hoping I’d absorb some skills faster, but I alas I did not.   Still, he felt like I lied to him, so my guess is he is doing the same back to me.

One that really got to me was about how I was lazy.  When he first hired me, he was desperate for people just to show up who were trustworthy.  He complained about how people would flake constantly – which they did.  I arranged for him to pick me up in the mornings – which took a toll on him timewise nonetheless – to go the jobsite with him 40+ miles away.

When I was there, I worked in 90+ degree humidity outside on scaffolding.  Now he was generous and bought me and our co-worker lunch everyday as well as provided us with water to keep us hydrated. To be sure he wasn’t a slave driver, and he shouldn’t sound like such.

At several points I did complain about a lack of boards to stand on when we started going four stories up.  I  brought up the idea of safety-harnesses, but he mentioned that it would just get in the way and make us even less safe.

I have no idea if that’s really true or not, but wow right?  Also note that he went up there with us in those precarious positions trying to get work done, so definitely he put himself on the line as well.

Now, I’m not exaggerating how open I was with him.  I even talked about me and my wife’s sex lives – a mistake in hindsight – and how it helped us as a couple.    This was kindly relayed to her parents that all I cared about is sex and apparently how I’m not to be trusted.   In particular, this blew me away.

Wisdom, Resolve, and the Long-Game

A hard lesson to learn from betrayal is that your natural state – open and honest – can be very dangerous to you and your family life.  Even after this, I find the idea of talking less, being more deliberate about the company I am genuine with, and concluding that many more snakes exist in the grass then I admit to be a tough pill to swallow.

Recently, I saw him at my in-laws “Life group” meeting they hold at their house.   Determined for my wife’s sake, I played nice.  It was then that I heard a story involving my old bosses’ wife and some terrible things they had been through.

Wondering whether this had something to do with the backstab held my anger in check.  Because of that, I’m taking the long view.   Honestly, I still desire vengeance or at least some kind of vindication from this betrayal.   You never realize how powerful of a motivator justice can be until you start to strongly desire it.

Given the chance I wonder, would he come clean and apologize to me or pretend it didn’t happen and act as everything was jolly?

What if the chain-of-information provided to me was wrong or someone did indeed exaggerate and elaborate details? Patience is necessary when trying to smoke out what was really said.   I shall indeed play the long-game.

Take A Break, Relax, Recover, and Come Back To The Fight

Internet Burnout From too much Politics

Take A Break Or This Broken World Will Drive You Crazy

For the last two months prior to election day, Drudge was linking to various articles about how people were suffering from election induced anxiety, depression, and even sleep loss.  Facebook feeds were particularly active and potent regardless of what political bubble you are dwell in.

We all expected the end of the world before night, and it’s only gotten worse post-election for half of the voting public to cope with the election of Cthulu.  Detractors of Trump literally believe he’s Hitler, but then again, so is anyone to the right of Hillary.  The sky is literally falling and raining pepes.

My Facebook and Twitter blared with insane headlines that even often I thought were too exaggerated to be true.  Everything was apocalyptic in nature and possible destruction of our grand modern multi-cultural tolerant world, even though Rome didn’t fall in a day.

The scaremongering and dastardly vicious dangers strawmen that anyone else in the “opponent” group ensured that the personal was political.  Stories that were true and shocking – one example being Detroit having more Hillary votes then possible voters made my blood boil all that much more.

Internet Burnout From too much Politics
Take A Break You Deplorables

Post-election, all of the scoundrels and deplorables favorable to “God-Emperor Trump” were faced with families  endearing new crises that unfortunately had nothing to do with drug addled interventions,  sibling disputes, and crumbling marriages.  Call me ole fashioned, but I’m still shocked that people are avoiding family members because of their despicable politics.  Clearly,  those politicians will always be there for you, but your family won’t.

To put in perspective how bad the shattering has been just between husbands and wives, the annoying chat-box known as “The View” had a segment in which voting husbands for Trump was causing them to lose their pussy tingles for their studly husbands.  Yes, apparently a difference in how you voted was causing the dreaded “deadbedroom” threads we read about.  Hammer that nail of sexual intimacy once more to the coffin.

“I think that the sex drive does die and, you know, we are building a wall around our vaginas,” she continued. “The guy [Trump] says it’s okay if he would grab a woman by her you-know-what, and women are either a 10 or a one, or this one’s fat, and you voted for that schmuck?”

“You voted for that? I’m not sleeping with you,” Behar said.

 “That’s what’s happening,” Sunny Hostin agreed.

Yep, you read that right.  Some people have “marriages” that are truly that dysfunctional and the sex tips in Glamour aren’t possible now.   I don’t think adultery/cheating is a good thing, but if your wife, girlfriend, etc. pulled that – using sex as a weapon –I’d immediately hand her divorce papers and start hitting up Tinder as the one night sluts on there will at least give you sex unlike these shrews.

I can’t slap the woman who said that physically, but I most certainly will air slap her from across the deplorable manosphere caverns from which I lurk.  Here’s a bold statement though for women – or men – who refuse you sex because of your vote;  She doesn’t deserve you, your money, or your capability to be an emotional tampon when she’s crying.

What she  so richly does deserve; cats, gawking at other women more attractive then here,  and bitching about male feminists hitting on her that she isn’t attracted to.  A bit overboard?   I’m that sick and tired of it.

But to get back on track, its all too damn much – and that’s just regarding two of the stories that stood out to me the most after being bombarded with one piece of insanity ranging from true to greatly exaggerated after the other. Every story I come across is in all caps, screaming with a bullhorn for my attention – and they all make the world seem like its getting worse after I glance at the headlines.

Surely, I like the rest of you am taking crazy pills, or the world, society, and the culture around us is surely doomed and primed to implode – on a daily basis.    Even in our own circles, everything is almost always pessimistic.  Feminists are getting more power, safe spaces are smothering meaningful conversation, and we are constantly having to explain to shocked observers, friends, and families that we aren’t actually all those bad ist and isms they keep hearing we are – this is all despite Trumps win which is supposed to greatly move the Overton window

  • I’ve noticed how the subject of “Facts” has become extremely subjective. I still don’t know exactly how much Planned Parenthood spends on abortion via Federal Funding because every inquiry on it uses different methods to calculate the statistics.  In a world of unlimited data, we can’t see past a hazy cloud of numbers on all sides.
  •   Reliable sources all depend on what side you are on.
  • Vicious opinionated partial journalism isn’t contrary to the very nature of being a journalist because Trump is the new Hitler.   Woodward is jaded and Bernstein is weeping.  The very journalists and publications shrieking about fake news are spouting it nonstop with nary a noticeable correction in mind because the damage has been done.
  •    Fake news is now completely up to shadowy corporate internet giants that are deliberately as vague as possible as to how much of your information they are sharing with the government without warrant – and that’s if they haven’t been hit with a gag order preventing them from even talking about it.

Well it’s time to take  a damned break for a few days.  As Davis Aurini put it in one article, “Let God Sort It Out.” We hear about how the Red Pill – whatever that even means these days – induces a massive overload of the realization that the world is a dark place, life is VERY unfair, and most of what you can supposedly can control actually can’t be.  Reality ends up being made up of dark and mysterious forces beyond our control.  Your critics will always be there slandering, lying, and misrepresenting you and what you stand for.

What the hell can we actually do about any of this?

Ragequit life?  Not quite.  Take a brief glance back in history for why you need a respite from the toils of cultural and political dogfighting.   As Quintus Curtius – the resident scholar, historian and philosopher of the manosphere points out, sometimes all you need is a retreat to allow you to come back with new ideas for the battlefield.

“Sometimes being away from the fray and the fracases of life can allow us to compose our thoughts and regenerate our spirits.  This has the effect of spurring the creative soul on to higher amplitudes of output.  We forget just how distracting it is for the mind to be bombarded with invasive stimuli; and while periods of withdrawal from the fray should not be permanent, they can, in the right doses, provide just that right proportion of flint and steel to spark great works.”

Believe it or not, wisdom from the life of Machiavelli can be applied to this situation when he was forced to take a break from the politics of the day.   That lesson can be examined at the link previously mentioned.

Besides plan, scheme, and demand answers; nothing in the immediate sense.  Which of course represents a knee jerk reaction of feeling like you’ve accomplished no results because everything is measured in the short term – how we feel right now – instead of any kind of long term vision.

Let’s dip our heads into the sand for the moment.  Take a step back. We know what’s going on – we just aren’t going to let it break us.  Instead we will make love to our women, play with our kids,  drink and be merry with our friends, and take those nature hikes.  Twitter can wait.  A more disturbing and terrible story about the madness of our college campuses will be there tomorrow.

You will survive.

Just make sure you give yourself the breathing room and cultural /social media detox withdrawal to allow yourself to thrive when the world is refusing to budge your way.  Take a break, and then come back for another at-bat.

 

Two ways to deal with the raging emotions of your pregnant wife.

What happens to your old hobbies? They vanish as you and your spouse both envision strangling each other – but don’t.

My pregnant wife in her natural habitat. Ice cream. Facebook. And not directing emotional rages toward me.
My pregnant wife in her natural habitat. Ice cream. Facebook. And not directing emotional rages toward me.

The above picture is of my wife in her natural habitat – the bath.  To pacify her in this time of emotional tyranny, I gave her ice cream and let her chow down right out of the container.  I even promised not to make fun of her for it – a promise I’ve somewhat kept.     She even had her phone to scroll through Facebook.

I used this precious and rare time to play my current favorite game – Fallout 4 – modded because I have joined the PC master race.  Kid in a candystore, but this was one of my final pieces.

Welcome to marriage – pregnancy stage. Prepare yourself gentlemen.

My problem isn’t one that most men complain of – a lack of sex.  We average sex twice a day.  It’s my pride, the way our fights escalate, the hobbies I don’t want to give up, and the fact that I keep forgetting my wife is my wife – pregnant and not someone you can reason with.  Speaking in generalities, women respond to emotions and men to logic – though I’m seeing alot more emotional men these days.  I keep forgetting this.

Because I don’t want to be a complete loser, I’m trying to develop more productive hobbies – which does suck. I miss my video games, and I resent the amount of time I’ve been forced to give up playing them – regardless of how “mature” it makes me.

When I get home from work, I want to be lazy. I suppose now that I am a father with one son and another on the way, it is time to be responsible and look into new hobbies that my kids will share with me once they get a bit older.

That video game, I want to play it, without condemnation, nagging, or weird bouts of jealousy that I can drink alcohol and she can’t.  To this end, I am in her crosshairs – if she can’t have fun, I can’t either.  Now this is illogical, wrong, and plain out vicious, but that doesn’t matter.  She’s pregnant and emotional.

My lovely nympho wife will nag me about productivity – which is escalated depending on how bad her pregnancy hormones are that day. Alas, it has me writing more.  While I’ve sacrificed my prized video game time, my sex life is that of envy – we average twice a day with passionate bouts of love.

Today, I bring to you the subject of surviving your first year of marriage with a pregnant wife.   If you are with a women who is pregnant, throw out everything you know about her before she decided to carry your offspring.  Prepare for hell on emotional wheels of wrath.

Her raging, vicious, and unpredictable moodswings are now your problem.  She may start crying randomly, and by the end of it taking swings at you because of her rantings about her parents or yours. I’m not even referring to the verbal wrath that you will incur in the process – that’s just a bonus.   So what do you do?

You can’t reason with the beast. You can’t argue with it.

But you can pacify it.  As a man, it’s one of the most important tools you can learn to use when you have a family.
Behold, I give to you my fellow men, a weapon with which to master her emotions in their raw and uncontrollable state (1); the manly, yet smooth,  alluring, and sexual hug.

Now I’m a proud and stubborn man, and when my wife has either hit me or attacked me in the most vicious way with perfectly chosen words to inflict the most damage to my sanity, I don’t want to hug her.  (In fact I want to hit her back after she’s hit me.)  Again, muh pride.

Shockingly, I swore I would never allow a woman to do this to me.  Yet as she is my wife and the mother of my children, my tolerance for BS has gone up – because I love her.  Love changes things. It really does.  I am a proponent of the manosphere, but my wife is my wife, not just another plate.  (Also, dread game is a NO when your wife is pregnant, plus my wife is already very jealous and will beat up other women for looking at me wrong. )

I want to fight back with the nastiest words in my arsenal possible to make her feel the same anguish. “Hurts doesn’t it?”

Indeed it does, especially when she’s pregnant.  Of course, she will remember those fights far into the future and berate you later with, “You said these terrible things to me when I was pregnant,” regardless of any words of war directed at you, the suffering father.

Women fight very well with words, a favor I can return. But should I?  Should a pregnant women hear anything anything else that will make her emotions scream?  Stress is also an issue and it can cause miscarriages.  My pride though.  It’s very angry and upset.  It’s been unjustly wounded. Yet again, I swallow it, or at least I should.

Hug her tight – from behind and then move to the front. Slowly massage her shoulders and lower back.  Get her calmed down. Physical touch will do what the most logical of words will not.  Kiss her neck, suck on her earlobe a bit. Then notice what starts to happen.  Her face changes.

Your other weapon (2) : Angry frustrated pent up sex.  

When women are pregnant, their raging hormones need to be released. They are bottled up like a kid holding his breath. Sexist sounding or not, the truth is the truth.   So take control of the situation and arouse your wife in the process.

Those raging hormones? Well, release them. Direct them toward the bed. Or couch. Or bathroom.

If your wife already has a high sex drive, pregnancy will GREATLY escalate it.  So grab  her pants, and drop them down.  Get aggressive. Wrestle with her in that bed. Or on the floor.  Your video games may suffer, but your sex life will rise to new hard peaks.

So many of our fights could have been de-escalated, but since I was mad at her from her either hitting me or trashing me, I didn’t want to have sex with her – I was too livid. I had too much pride.   A simple hug and escalation to sex could have solved it.

I must admit, she’s even told me to hug her and hold her tight – and also to pull her pants down when we are fighting. In this, me and her are different.   My anger at that moment, I must swallow.   She doesn’t need words of logic about why she is being an unreasonable bitch -something she knows as well.  She needs a hug and to be led to the bedroom.

Never underestimate the power of sex.

Learn from me, swallow your anger at that moment, and pound it out deep.  Never has there been a more perfect time for a spanking in that love making. She will love you, and you will love her.

I wish you luck gentlemen.

For further advice on many at matter to do with marriage, I highly suggest TheFamilyAlpha and AverageMarriedDad, each with their own kind of approach.

Being Thankless and Homesick on Thanksgiving

This will be the first thanksgiving that I’ve spent away from my family.   Here in Missouri, I will instead be spending it with my son and my wife’s parents and cousins who are here.    During the last few months, I’ve been gutted by a feeling of being homesick.   Today, it will probably hit the hardest.

Alas, this feeling however does give way to a realization;  We never appreciate our family enough until they aren’t around.  The atmosphere of my dad’s family staying up late into the night, kicking back some beers, the ambient noise of conversation – it’s something I’ve realized alot of other families don’t have.   I’ve lived in Illinois my entire life, and while I hated the state with a passion, my family is what kept me there.

In modernity, we often leave our families and move to various parts of the country in search of economic freedom and success – in my families case the best opportunity is currently here in Missouri.    Grandparents often barely know their grandchildren, nephews and nieces only see their aunts and uncles twice a year, and siblings often are stuck with only Facebook to establish that connection to bring back memories of home.

Sometimes I wonder if the fact we can go anywhere with a press of the gas pedal has inadvertently led us to paths that often don’t include the family structure, proximity, and support that existed for most up until the 1960s.  Will we ever experience that again as a culture? I can only lament.

It takes a village to raise a child – especially for those who desire a big family.  That’s almost impossible nowadays. Many millennials often move so much, that we never establish roots and become so close with our neighbors that they are like blood.

Some however survive the homesickness and overcome it.  A while after originally posting this, I reached out to Quintus and suggested it as a podcast topic for him – which he actually just did – and a gentleman who goes by Motivated Maverick gave me some advice.   Suffice to say, he’s been in the military for 14 years and has been away from his family for long stretches. He gave the following 9 points for consideration.

  1. Build a routine. Even small things like your meals, a cup of coffee, a walk or a cigarette. Enjoy them.
  2. Focus on the people around you. Make others smile & laugh. People around you probably feel homesick too.
  3. Exercise. Exercise. Exercise. 3 hard miles will solve nearly all your mental problems.
  4. Accept what’s happening; embrace it. Philosophy used to help men cope. Still does. Read Boethius.
  5. Make a rule in your mind: YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. YOU DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF. This is important.
  6. Keep a journal. This will help a lot..BUT NO VICTIM JOURNALS
  7. Read good, uplifting books.
  8. An engaging long term project is your best friend. A side business you’re working can make time fly.

Alas, but we press on.  Perhaps some football tonight will get my mind off it.  Happy thanksgiving to those of you I love, cherish, and know.   Modernity does have it’s price I suppose.

To all those in my spheres, from RVF to Maverick – happy travels and I hope that while you make your life abroad, homesickness doesn’t bring you down.  Deus Vult

Jaxon “Jax” James Burnette and The Parents That Snapped

Jax was only six weeks old when his bones were broken. His brain started to bleed internally from being thrown very hard onto a bed.  His throat was permanently damaged when his father tried to stop him from crying by shoving his fingers down his throat attempting to find his voice box.  Jaxon would never be the same.

Child abuse is a term lightly thrown around in our time which is rife with potshots at spanking, mothers threatened for letting their kids play at the park, and parents who take away their teens Iphones and ground them from Tumblr, but the story you are about to hear is a case of real abuse.  Deathly abuse.

THIS IS A CAUTIONARY TALE.   Abuse like this is always horrible and vile, but we are fooling ourselves if we believe we are all above and beyond it.  Know yourself,  know the signs, and know when to take a break.  Never convince yourself that the stress won’t get to you: that you’re special.   You might think you’d never be capable of this, but how many people do you know who you thought would never be capable of abuse ended up being abusive?

IMPORTANT:  A lesson here is to be LEARNED.   This post is NOT interested in any kind of justification for the abuse of Jaxon by his parents, rather it’s devoted to ensuring it doesn’t happen to another innocent child.

UPDATE  1: Jax has passed away.  Murder charges will now be in the making. This is now a dire and lethal lesson to learn. May he rest with the angels.

UPDATE 2: More information has come out that hints that Jaxon may have been abused since birth.  Drugs may have been part of it, but this was just the culmination that ended up taking Jax’s life.

UPDATE  3: (ALSO: A commentor has hinted that Jax’s father Robert had a history of this kind of violence and had tried to kill his brother. ) Further reading via the DailyMail:  “His parents told police that he’d tried to kill his own brother in various ways over the years – including beating and stabbing him as well as trying to drown and smother him.”

In this case, Robert did one snap too far. “According to court records, he has also spent time in mental health institutions for severe anger issues. ”   The signs weren’t taken seriously.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Many of the pictures below have been making their rounds on Facebook.  My wife showed me the below. Blood is on his bib. His parents look almost clueless as to what’s happened.

Jax probably won’t make it.  If he does, he will have severe mental and physical disabilities. EDIT: We can now confirm he has passed from the brutality of this world and into one that is far better.

Jaxon “Jax” James Burnette

His mother didn’t do anything to stop it. She would later claim that she was scared of Jax’s father as well of her father killing Jax’s dad as to why she remained silent and didn’t alert anyone to what was happening.  Whether this is completely true, we don’t know.

What happened here is a tragedy, but a human story that needs to be told.    Truth be told, we could become like Jax’s parents in a moment that is just too much to bear.  Honestly, I don’t think they ever thought they were capable of this, and now the heartbreak is to set in.   They can’t take it back.

Now, everyone is a critic these day’s when it comes to parenting.  I recall a recent story where people recoiled in disdain as one man explained how he knew a father who used to put his screaming son in a carseat and leave him in the bathroom with the fan on until he stopped crying.  IF only Jaxon’s parent’s could have done this instead. Know your limits.

So terrible huh?

As parents, we do feel bad when our children cry, especially when they are infants. But sometimes, there isn’t much you can do.  If you have had a child who is just starting to go through teething, you know what I mean.

You give your kid some infant tylenol, comfort them as much as possible, and the put them in their crib. Often, they cry themselves to sleep because of how tired they get.  Yep, that sounds kind of bad, “Crying themselves to sleep”, but its how babies fall asleep.    If that doesn’t work, perhaps the whirring white noise of a fan in the bathroom might do the trick. At some point, you need to sleep.

If we are dead honest, all parents have wanted to do this at some point.  It makes them normal, human, and capable of getting stressed out instead of the superparents we read about on blogs that seem like a sitcom fairytale.

When your child has been screaming all night, you are dead tired, stressed, and exhausted, this seems more and more like a better option.   In fact, sometimes you just need to walk away from the room for a few minutes, regain your composure, and let your headache ease just a bit.

Some deem it cruel, but let’s look at what happens when parents who don’t do the above finally snap.  Below is a picture of Jaxon “Jax” James Burnette, a 6 week old baby who will probably won’t live much longer.

Take a look at this picture and ask, “What happened?”

A mother lost her maternal instinct to protect her young and never bothered to stop the father, who lost his paternal instinct in a fit of rage at some point. For instance, from another source:

“She admitted she lied at the hospital, telling doctors she didn’t know how the baby was injured. Police say she never showed emotion during their interrogation. She referred to her son not by his name but by “the kid” or “the baby.”

Jaxon “Jax” James Burnette


Look at the picture above one more time.  It’s as if she doesn’t realize his suffering or what’s happened. I’m kind of shocked everytime, I look at it.

Perhaps these are terrible people who were not meant to be parents.   It’s one thing to look like junkies, but its another to let those drugs destroy the bond a parent has for their child.

It’s easy to hate them. But, again what if we became them?  Are they really this cold? Could we ever become this cold if we just snapped?  It’s a scary thought.

These parents; I don’t believe they are as evil as we want them to be. I’m not justifying their actions; I just see how easily it could be for parents to snap at some point and to this.

I’ll let STLToday give you the morbid details:

WENTZVILLE • A man from Wentzville shoved his fingers down the throat of his 6-week-old son. He wanted to find the baby’s voice box and stop him from crying.

More abuse followed. The baby was thrown onto a bed. Shaken violently. Picked up by the back of his neck.

All the while the baby’s mother watched and made no effort to get help.

That’s the harrowing account spelled out in St. Charles County court records documenting the abuse against the infant boy, identified only as J.B.

The boy was still alive on Friday morning but “extremely critical,” the prosecutor’s office said. He was in protective custody and being treated at Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital for, among other things, bleeding on the brain and broken bones. Doctors have told police it’s “a likely possibility” the boy will die.

J.B.  is Jaxon James Burnette It’s likely that he may never see his father again.   Another dysfunctional nightmare story if the kid survives.    I’ve only been a parent for 7 months, but I can safely say – don’t try to be a superhero mom or dad.

Jax Burnette with blood on his bib. 6 week old baby.
Lessons must be learned.

Be a parent who realizes that sometimes you need a break, that the carseat and bathroom might not be a bad idea, and that sometimes, you just have to let them cry.  

This doesn’t make you bad parents. It makes you smart, compassionate, and aware ones. Composure and patience will become welcome friends. You aren’t a bad parent. Just one that needs to walk out of the room for a bit, so you don’t snap.  Raising a kid is hard enough for two parents.  Most of us don’t have that village we need, family close by, etc.

This isn’t to say you are like Jax’s parents, it’s just that the edge is a bit closer you might realize when the crying has gotten your head pounding, your wife crabby, and your sleep has been shortened.

What happened to Jax scared me. I think we all have just enough of an inner demon in us to do something like this. Most parents will insist that they could never do anything like this…   I think they are just scared to consider they could be capable of something this heartbreaking – especially when you see Jax’s face.   I thought about my son being in his place and it almost brought me to tears.

Julius Michael Temple, my firstborn.
Julius Temple in the bath

We just need the courage to admit that we need a break to prevent us from ever getting close to this possibility. Don’t let yourself go down the path. Don’t let yourself believe you are a superparent above this kind of stress.  It’s not an admission of guilt – its a recognition of the daily demands that we as parents have.

Now Robert may have been a creature of severe anger, hate, and now murder.  If you know you have anger problems, don’t let yourself get to the place where they can manifest!!! Take a break! Walk away for a moment.  The come right back.

Deus Vult brothers.

The Steps Of Life – The Early “Patriarch”

Patriarch. Patriarchy. Such delicious terms that always cause a firestorm when you throw them around. Granted they mean as much as the word “fascist” does these days, but they are still great words to make a point with.

I’m not a Patriarch.  I don’t think anything even remotely like it is possible in the World anymore – even despite it’s original failings.  That said the word brings about some worthy triggering, so I intend to use it as much as possible.

Recently, my life has become like one of those sack races at a school party.  My wife is in the sack with me – almost twice a day on average – and often we are trying to hop in different directions when it comes to our plans, ideas, and how we want to spend our time that day.  Our marriage is yet young. As we seek to better communicate and understand the stubborn other, a new path in life opens.

As the experts hum repeatedly, much of marriage is all about communication.  Usually, you don’t start off to well in that department.  The specific verbal and non-verbal manner of that communication is a different skill all in itself – one that is often unpolished.

Through the communication we stumble through now, I’ve learned something important. Your priorities will shift so much in your life – especially with an infant that much of what you did and who you were before marriage wont be the same.

If you want to be that great family patriarch of old, most of your available time in a day must be spent nurturing your family – specifically your wife in the early years and your children.  Just as anything substantial in life requires much time and investment, your family is no exception. (Infants are quite the time investment when they won’t fall asleep at night and continue to cry.)

I’m now building my legacy, but that is a time and life investment that will consume my time in life.   Less going out with friends to the bar.  Less video game binges into the wee hours. Less wasting of time period.  My hobbies now tend to include research about the best ways to get my son crawling early and my social activities tend to involve my wife.      (Father and son hobbies will come as my son grows older.)

In a way, I’m being forced to be more productive and deliberate as to how I spend my time – an odd side effect of having a family that I had no clue about.   It is however a welcome one, in that it forces some discipline upon you, something I’ve struggled to do over my life.   Dragged by my heels to be better, so to speak.

Much of my generation is hedonistic in we view ourselves.  Usually, it’s all about what makes me happy and satisfied now and anything that get’s in the way is a problem – or in the cases of some RP enthusiasts – supposed Beta behavior.   What most players don’t realize is that when you get married, your wife needs your time. It can feel a bit strangling at times with a loss of space being your gut instinct, but new instincts will develop as your marriage goes on.

Essentially, if you want to build that next generation and a culture that will last your excess pleasures, desires, and frivolous hobbies will have to take a back seat.  It becomes less about what makes you happy and more about what is necessary for the success of your family.  I’m selfish and I’ll admit it, a hard RP to swallow is that what makes me happy isn’t necessarily going to make my wife happy or even my children.  (Have another one on the way in that department.)   Basically, we mature as men because we must.

Some men might take it as the nail in their coffins of their prior lives, but it simply means that a transition is taking place.  What I’m realizing now is that if you want a family, a legacy, love, growing old together, and many of the usual romantic dreams, much of your bachelor self will shed it’s skin permanently.    So in order to get your new skin, you have to shed the old.

I no longer have as much time for video games and my usual pleasures of flesh. Instead, I often limit them to an hour a day at most so I can focus on spending time with my wife – who needs my attention and help even more so being that I knocked her up again.

Remember, marriage is a different adventure and the “skills” needed are far different from the arsenal of most players.  You will have to stop being a selfish bastard where everything is about you, while maintaining the self-confidence and fervor of an Olympian. Finding that key balance becomes as valuable as gold and a key component into becoming that patriarch.

In a young marriage, your wife is needy – as is mine – specifically when it comes to pregnancy.  When you decide to have your first kid, pregnancy adds another element to that neediness.  We hear alot about shit-tests but not alot about comfort tests.

I recall a conversation with my wife when she was in tears about how I didn’t comfort her, wrap my arms around her, and tell her everything was going to be okay when our son was in the NICU for 3 weeks after he was born. She wanted me to hold her in my arms and not let her go.   I was supposed to be strong, but while I thought I was, I didn’t pass that strength on to her.

Logically I thought that she already knew she had my support – and I was coming to be with her everyday in the evening when I got off work.   (Remember how powerful and dominant a woman’s emotions are, especially after birth.)  However, I didn’t verbally communicate my thoughts on how she was feeling and how everything was going to be fine. I probably wasn’t physically affectionate enough either and obviously we couldn’t bond and come together through sex in the weeks after birth.    (You really do have to be on your game and making it an intrinsic part of yourself.)

This was a hard lesson for me to learn.   Men… we often have to learn how to love – both in how we show and how we do it. Love is what girls so desperately need, just as respect is something men need when it comes to marriage.

Now do you lose who you are? Everything that makes you… you?

No.

Your family becomes you.

My son Julius.
My son Julius really likes bathtime.

I as a man and father, and my wife as a woman and a mother, are now putting our feet on the next step up the stairs of life.  It’s all happening very fast as is the excitement about it.   About 3 months ago, we moved down to Missouri.  I won’t say where, but I do like what I see down here.  Housing is cheap – though so are wages.

(Luckily, I’ve got a job in which I can make a good amount of money.  It’s a sale job, and I will essentially have to internalize game in a sales oriented manner. )

Arguably, it’s probably one of the most important skills a man can learn that he can apply to many other aspects of life.  I never realized its application that many had waxed eloquently about until training for my current job.  (Also, a quick pro-tip I’ve learned: He who complains the most gets the most. Furthermore, me and my wife are going to be moving into an apartment, which is will be our first place on our own with each other.

I often want to help men who struggle with women out – as I see who I was in them. At the same time, I’m also realizing that men with families really do need other family men to come together to eat, drink, converse, and to sharpen each other’s lives.    The conversation at the table really will differ then it did in our bachelor days. Behold, the next step in life.

The Red Pill Doesn’t Quite Prepare You For Being Married, Pregnancy, and Fatherhood

Julius Temple as a Baby Holding My Finger

Monday, April 18th, 2016 at 1:37 PM, my son Julius was born.  His birth was the culmination and the reward for all of the various fights, strife, conflicts, and plain out stress that me and my pregnant wife had gone through leading up to that very moment.   That said, I don’t think I was as nearly prepared for it as I thought I was.  While fatherhood strikes whether you are ready for it or not, the process leading up to it can be both a joyous and tumultuous affair.   Score one for my continued legacy and that evil Patriarchy with my sons birth though, as we are about to strengthen it’s ever growing resolve.   (My wife already told me just the other day, “I’m ready for another one.”)

That said it’s still been stressful as my son couldn’t go home with us.  He wasn’t breathing enough oxygen and had to be transferred to another hospital.  My wife’s been there every day, sometimes for 12 hours a day, with me heading there the second I’ve gotten off work.  Up until just a day ago, she couldn’t even hold him in our arms. As a new mother, it’s been killing her.

I can see the pain in her eyes, the stress in her movement, and the easy escalation of disagreements – though we’ve fought way less since he’s been born.  My wife is young – almost 20 – and this is our first child, so we as new parents are still barely scratching the surface in just what it means to be parents.   (If you’ve noticed, I try not to say my wife’s first or maiden name so certain assholes can’t target her or her future employers.)

Julius Temple as a Baby Holding My Finger
He Took My Heart Right Here – Father Moment

Yes, married couples – especially newer ones fight way more than anyone want’s to admit.

Now, we hear alot about the taking the Red Pill and what it can do for a man.  We know it can mean much more then just discovering the truth about feminism, social justice, and gender relation as Hawaiian Libertarian has pointed out. But what happens when you miss certain aspects of it, or dare I say, other “Red Pill” entirely?

Marriage isn’t something talked about nearly enough in whatever is left of the “manosphere”, though Roosh and many at ROK have made observations about about how men move past the player stage and what more from life and the worldview of Neo-Masculinity.   When it is talked about often, it’s about how men should never get married and how you should only marry foreigners if you do.

As your son looks back at you.
My son has started to open his eyes.

That’s good and all, but those of us like myself who have not only gladly taken the risk, but are creating families from it, there might be a bit lacking in the RP advice department, especially on when your wife is pregnant. While game doesn’t end when you get married, but instead evolve,  I often ask myself the following:

1. Am I being supportive enough?

2. Am I taking too much shit that I never would have taken before? Again, pregnancy is another aspect.  Women use words as weapon very effectively, and my wife is no exception when she is stressed, in pain, has a baby kicking the inside of her, and is full of hormones.  What is the appropriate course of action?

3. What should I take a stand on and what should I understand is merely a result of pregnancy?   What disagreements should I compromise on or give 100% into her on.  (Stress can cause miscarriages.)  Did she mean any of the nasty things she just said in a fight after she apologized for them just an hour later?

4. What kind of game should be run vs what kind of game is even acceptable? Honesty is important, alas why my wife knows what my worldview is.

5. How should I resolve fights? I have my normal RP way of dealing with women, but my wife isn’t just a woman, she’s the mother of my son and is love of my life.  Red-Pilled wisdom from older married men is something I wish I had way more of.   Yes, I know of stuff like this, but it doesn’t go far enough.

In our young marriage, we’ve had some terrible fights, but they’ve ended pretty quickly. Sometimes I’ve put my foot down, and it does lead to more respect.  The thing is I lack the necessary wisdom of when to use a gentle word to turn away wrath and when to be firm.  My dad gave me a piece of wisdom in that hurtful words said early are bad for the early foundation of your marriage. No brainer, of course.

For the most part when my wife is on the verbal warpath, slashing me with her tomahawk of vicious words, I usually won’t say nasty things back; something I would do in return to anyone who wasn’t my family or my wife.  I made a specific exception because she is my wife, and was pregnant.  One time however, I did slip and I was so mad, I called her a piece of shit.  Despite she had said far worse things to me during the car ride in which we were fighting, all of her nasty barbs didn’t matter. I was blown away.

Surprisingly in many way, Bill Burr was right:

Why was my wife acting like a teenager? Then it me; she’s 19. She still is a teenager.  In fact, I’m her first real relationship.  Her expectations and mine have been different on a few things.  I want my alone time – she strongly objects to this sometime, the pregnancy being part of that.   I often wondered, why does she say the nastiest shit when she’s angry?
(Sometimes whenever she is irked by my actions/words she will say in this disproving motherly tone, “Seriously?”  It irks me even more and makes me want to say, “Yea, fucking seriously.”  Then, I remember that I do indeed love her.    I just wish there were more guys out there like AverageMarriedDad and TheFamilyAlpha who know what it’s like and have advice on how to have a successful happy marriage and a resulting healthy family.  Too often, we get alot of marriage advice from men who aren’t actually married or are bitterly divorced and have a strong bias against it – somewhat understandably so.

Marriage is hard work, but it’s worth it.  Yes, it like any other major life choice is a risk, but it’s a worthy one, despite the quality of good women in our generation, the courts, and a system rigged against men.    Marriage is a risk, but what else in life isn’t a risk? Some of the best thing in life involve risk – whether that be in time investment, finances, relationships, etc.  Don’t let your life be hindered by aversion to risk, simply decide what risks are really worth it.  I do believe marriage is one -provided you find the right woman which definitely is worth it.

Holding your son for the first time is worth it. Oh and stopping fights as they happen with sex – which we do alot – is totally worth it.   In fact, if there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that if the fight is about to escalate, pull her pant’s down.  Her words, not mine.  Well, she was definitely right about that. (Also make-up sex and I’ve never had to beg for sex. Ever.)

I encourage men who aren’t sure about marriage to really look for a good woman. They are out there, though you won’t find them on Tinder, bars, etc.  Are you looking hard enough? Are your glasses filtering out the good girls?  Many of you say you want one, but do you really?  When you marry young, you do face different challenges and you would be wise to ready yourself for them. Being good at being a man is hard work.

Do you want your legacy to continue? Do you want the pleasure of having your child gaze up at you and look deeply into your eyes? Do you want to statistically have far more sex as a married man than single men do – especially when you are young?  Obviously don’t marry for just sex or even just love.  Find the right woman.  You don’t marry someone who is your soulmate. You marry someone who becomes your soulmate. Remember that dear Gentleman, and Godspeed to you.

P.S. For all future and current parents with young children, I highly suggest Quintus Curtius’ blog which will provide a foundation of classical themed education and insight that is so lacking these days.   He is that Aristotle that you’re sons in particular need as their tutor as they delve into those famed classics.

#JusticeForAurini : Pulling On The Strings In High Places

The flagging of Aurini's YouTube channel

Infamous internet super villain and guardian of the keyboard shortcuts Davis Aurini had his YouTube channel come tumbling down courtesy of what appears to be a targeted flagging/reporting campaign against his videos.  It’s still not clear whether it was just one user reporting multiple videos, or multiple users reporting videos.  They did however report several.   Aurini’s gmail was also the targeted, though the hacker(s) weren’t successful.

Malice indeed.   As you all know Aurini is almost the equivalent of Hitler because SJW’s tell  us so.  Obviously, he deserves this.

What is clear is that the videos that have been taken down by YouTube aren’t anymore “offensive” or guilty of TOS violations then the many other various videos on YouTube which advocate everything from assassinating Donald Trump to street fights, drug use, and even “hate speech” like presentations on how white people are the worst.  I don’t think we’ve seen this kind  of equal treatment and application of a TOS agreement  since the fall of Rome.   (I’m looking at you MTV.)

Luckily, his videos have been restored.  I initially feared that considering how his channel was taken down, someone in the YouTube hierarchy might just delete the videos, though a backup of some kind usually remains.   Five henious and dangerous videos however were not restored as they “violated” Youtube’s guidelines.  How they do exactly is well, bizarre.  Look at the videos they wouldn’t restore:

Really? Those videos?

Did YouTube simply jump the gun after the amount – still just an educated guess on that – of users reported his videos?  I find it highly unlikely, considering other situations where videos have been mass reported, even though they don’t necessarily violate the TOS and how YouTube hasn’t taken them down.  Aurini has got the attention of someone with some real connections.

We know YouTube has a system in place to negate mass attacks of people reporting videos that don’t actually violate the TOS, considering everything from mass reporting of  Justin Beiber’s music videos to some of the most controversial videos on Youtube.   Obviously, the Tube has dealt with this problem before.  In fact, the inherent flaws of their reporting system has been a topic of conversation – with some pointing out that you might have to reveal your address in the process of getting a report dismissed.  (See Internet Aristocrat on that.)

Of course the beneficiaries  seem to be highly dependent on how popular your channel is and/or how much of a shitlord SJW types accuse you of being.  Perhaps Sargon’s email toward YouTube was enough to get “someone else” at YouTube to look at the reports against the channel.  (I for one hope this may ease the tension between Aurini and Sargon as I am partial to both.)

https://twitter.com/Sargon_of_Akkad/status/708245025851904001

When it comes to reporting a video, the system put in place for flagged videos will not automatically be taken down, even if it’s multiple users reporting and flagging videos on the channel.  According to YouTubes’ support section on flagging videos, “Flagged videos are not automatically taken down by the flagging system. If a video doesn’t violate our guidelines, no amount of flagging will change that, and the video will stay on the site.”
Someone had to have “approved” the complaints. Multiple times.  Note the amount of false reports YouTube gets and employees are used to dismissing  them, a habit that should be almost hardwired into their subconscious.  This make’s it unlikely that it was accidental.

I’m all about the conspiracy theories, so I’ll throw this idea out there:  Someone at YouTube made sure Aurini’s account was taken down, even though they knew it would later be restored.  It’s essentially a warning shot that  while Aurini should be proud he was worthy of, precautions and backups are in his future.    Consider the implications of this being that Aurini has more reach then he or any of us realized or that he really did indeed piss of the wrong people who  have connections.

Think the idea of someone with “connections” being able to do this is far-fetched?   Recall the recent tribulation of podcaster and comedian Mike David – dubbed #ComedyGate – who crossed the wrong feminist comedian in Amy Miller who had friends in all the right places.

Despite the attempt by David to make amends, Miller, who claimed David was encouraging his followers to “harass” her, relentlessly reported him on social media and quickly got both his Facebook and YouTube accounts suspended. Astonishingly, Miller openly bragged about alleged high-level connections in Silicon Valley who helped make the suspensions happen.”

Take that in for a second.  A barely known feminist comedian somehow has friends who work at social media giants who also have enough influence to ban and take down accounts until, (1) the targets complaints go to the next level, (2) enough social media buzz is generated to grab the attention of a manager.   This tactic is simply to get the target screwed up enough for a while that they re-think speaking out or crossing certain individuals.   It does this effectively and also scares off other potential voices from making critiques of the party members –  they have a reputation that can be trashed on social media or if their job is heavily internet related.

Mike is finally getting his accounts back, but the goal to hurt him may have backfired with the exposure he got.  Will the same happen with Aurini?  I’d say he’s more hated and loathed – by the same types who have attacked Mike David, but we will have to see.