The Necessity Of Compassion – Vacationing From The Internet Battlefield

Internet Burnout From too much Politics


Necesitamos compasión.   Necesito mas compasión

As much as I despise and revile modern day feminists – specifically the radical ones, I feel sorry for them.  I’ve noticed a cruel streak that not only infects opposing political ideologies – namely conservative vs liberal, but also in the ideologies that I am particularly interested in – the manosphere and feminism. The hatred I see from them both angers me, as I do have a pair of testicles, but saddens me as well.   To add more fuel to the fire, the  vitriol that  is usually returned upon them by many in the manosphere and this plagues any actual honest attempt at online discourse.  In fact, it’s not possible on twitter – don’t even try.

All indications point to the internet as being the catalyst to kick this inner rage into twitter cyber lynch mobs.  While these mobs can’t kill you or put you in prison like a king could, they can make your life a living a hell – like getting you fired for starters.  Even feminists are starting to worry about it.

I recall that piece which blew up on the internet in January by Scott Aaronson, the MIT professor, who had the worst kind of “nerd” nightmare that one can imagine growing up. It was so bad – as was the effect of feminism on him, that he contemplated chemical castration and suicide because he was terrified of oppressing and harassing women through any kind of conversation with them.   Despite all this, he states that he is still 97%  on board with feminism.  That is some devotion right there, though I wonder how long that will last.

Some feminists showed some mercy, as well as pointed pointed out that he had a flawed understanding of feminism, while of course pointing out that he still had cis white male privilege.   Some however dismissed the plight of nerds as very low on the agenda table – such as fellow self-loathing male feminist nerd Arthur Chu. Others showed absolutely no mercy – with Amanda Marcotte again leading the charge for the nasty side of feminism.

After reading, Marcottes column, I was initially stunned. This was a male feminist ally who she had ripped a new asshole. The bullied nerd had been trounced unconscious with internet fervor and foment of some of the nastiest that online feminism had to offer.  Marcotte of course would be there to deliver the coup de grace curbstomp.  (Maybe she is just a really terrible person.)

When I finished reading her article, it finally hit me; we are all losing our compassion and our ability to show empathy.


Retaining Your Compassion


I also sometimes worry that I could become like them; so filled with hate for the terrible things said and done in the name of feminism, that it engulfs me and turns me into a nasty and bitter person.  Could I literally lose my identity to an ideology that is supposed to free me – name The Red Pill?

Let’s say I knew someone was a feminist and a particularly nasty one.  Imagine it was Lindy West, Anna Merlan, or even Jessica Valenti – “shudders” – and they were broke, alone, homeless, stranded, ect – would I be compassionate?  I really hope I would.  Sure karma is a revenge best served cold, but everyone deserves at least some measure of mercy.

I will admit, I enjoy jokes made at their expense, the fun that should be poked at them, and the moderate ridicule that should be made of some of the things they say and positions they hold.

However, everyone – hopefully – has a base moral compass that is aware of the importance of compassion. Forget the gender of someone in need, would you help them if it didn’t directly benefit you? (Yes,  I’m aware of the friendzoned beta male white knights who end up becoming emotional tampons without the kind of reciprocation they most desire – sexual reciprocation.)

Still, shouldn’t we bother to help the downtrodden when we see them, regardless of whether they have had it coming or not?  While women like Valenti who “bathe in male” tears both yet again anger and sadden me, do I really want to bathe in “female” tears?  I imagine Valenti is just being as snarky as the rest of us – myself included – are when we want to let loose.

Look at women like Valenti, Merlan, and especially Marcotte.  Take a close look at the nastier voices of feminism and what it has turned them into.  I don’t believe they actually like their lives or the lives of others around them – specifically people who are happy. Misery does love it’s company.  Their only satisfaction and enjoyment in life seems to be reduced to hating and beating on men, both on the clock and off of it.  That’s a shallow purpose and identity which will have consequences later in life.

The question I must always ask myself as I critique and dismiss the particular virulent parts of feminism is, “Do I really want to become the reverse of them?”


Getting Back Into The Real World


Internet burnout picture
Seriously, take a break. Talk to actual people.

In the online world – specifically social media – we often forget we are conversing with other REAL people.  Yes, we will meet some deliberate trolls,  but the vast amount of our opponents are not trolls, but sincere meaning people.  Yes, I said that about feminists.  Too often there is this ultimate  boogeyman concept that we slap onto all of our ideological opponents.  Yes, the internet has gotten more polarized and full of vitriol, but that only goes to prove that you need to get off social media, the manosphere, ect and actually converse with real people.

Take the opportunity to talk to self-identified feminist in a non-digital environment and you will notice a distinct difference in the conversation that takes place – something even some feminists have noticed.   Megan Murphy from Feminist Current pointed this out in an article about the problems with twitter feminism:

“But, for the most part, I haven’t found Twitter to be a positive experience. And I’m not just talking about harassment from misogynists, I’m talking about the internal shit. The mean girls-style popularity contest so many of those on feminist Twitter engage in. The take-downs, the bullying, the mocking, the defamation, the snide remarks, and the absolutely endless stream of hate.”

Never forget that you are talking to REAL people and not digital monstrous constructs behind a smartphone have forgotten that real life is quite different from the internet battlefields in which the corpses keep piling up.

“And sure, you might say, people behave like that in the “real world.” But the funny thing is that, in the real world, I’m happy. I generally enjoy my life, despite common challenges like rent-paying, work-finding, relationship-maintenance, etc. I don’t feel or see an inordinate amount of hatred among the feminists I know and work with on a human-to-human level. It happens, sure, but not daily. Not constantly. And the vitriol is decidedly muted.”

She is quite right.   In the real world, I’ve been able to converse with feminists in when engaging in conversation in real life and avoid engaging in the kind of vitriol that occurs online and in social media.  I find it puzzling, because while I try to “live” online in the way I do my every day actual life, my “I don’t care if this offends you,” anger comes out.

However, I control how my anger and frustration is expressed in the conversations I have. Personally, I’ve long strived to make sure that I don’t exist in an echo-chamber.  Because of this, I often engage in conversation with people whose views I find scary, dangerous, detestable, ect.  This is a lot easier and more productive however when done in person.


How could anyone actually hold the opinions they do? It’s frightening!


Then again, I suppose they are thinking the exact same thing.  Disagreement is inevitable.

Expressing your anger in a vicious, atrocious, and appalling manner is not.

Never forget you are a human being, just remember to act like one – even in the face of some of the nastiest ideologues of our time. Don’t become like so many feminists and social justice warriors who can’t handle disagreement to the point that they are willing to silence said disagreement by attaching labels like “harassment” to dissenting voices and opinions.  In fact, they have even gone so far as to label “oppressive language” – which they of course define – as actually limiting free speech.  The Orwellian descent of tolerance continues to deepen.



Don’t get me wrong, expressing your anger is a necessary part of life.  Injustice should deeply bother and anger you. However, the way you go about expressing that anger however will say alot about who you are and what you are becoming.

Make no mistake though, don’t back down from what you believe. Don’t allow yourself to be bullied and shamed, *cough Scott Aaronson* something that ironically has become so intrinsic to modern day feminism.  Sometimes, you may need to let some of that rage out.  Just pick how and where and consider whether it will be constructive – like at the gym or blowing things up on Call of Duty – or negative like exploding at a barista at Starbucks.

We all want to be heard and one way to do that is to state everything in the angriest possible way – going viral to get the necessary attention for your subject matter.  The blogosphere has become a competition these days to go viral – and being constantly and consistently angry and enraged is a good way to stir up controversy to try and do just that.  It’s also a good way to let your “online” persona start to bleed into your real life character.

The Red Pill and many of the resources in the manosphere can greatly help you become a man and embrace your masculinity in light of the ever present assault on it.  There must be to becoming a man and to life than bitching about feminism.

This is fundamentally what the Red Pill is about when it talks about self-improvement consuming your time and turning you into a better person. You pick yourself up and you keep going.  If you start to lose all of your friends, close relationships, and a dire misanthropic attitude toward mankind – which I understand with bad days at work – you might want to examine how you are letting the TRP effect you and if it is altering your identity into what inspired you to take TRP in the first place.

So take a break from online and social media. Mingle. Meet people. Talk with them.  Even feminists acknowledge they need a break too.

“Mantouching” is the Newest Feminist Cultural Scalp

The Daily Dot and the rest of the feminist sympathetic internet sphere  – emphasis on Salon – came out with fists clenched with yet another cultural scalp; “mantouching”.     This accursed and wretched action has most recently been noticed at the pinnacle of the political  liberal and hollywood elite – Joe Biden and John Travolta.

At the Oscars – a presentation of rich people giving awards to each other – Travolta mustered up all of Saturday Night Fever self and touched the face of Idina Menzel.  Nico Lang, the author of the piece described this travesty in a very visual way,”felt up”.     Human faces are getting closer and closer to becoming interchangeable with our private areas.  No, I don’t think hes trolling.

Are you ready for mantouching?
Are you ready for mantouching?

Before I go any further – remember that Nico Lang is a cis-white homosexual male which immediately means that he is guilty of “gay misogyny” and white cis privledge.  Everything he says that involves women should be assumed to be an act of atrocious mansplaining with deliberate Patriarchal menace. 

Let’s call a spade a spade.  This majestic article is meant to make men mad and to coddle the heartstrings of the usual rad-feminist choir.

At this point, I don’t know how many more sharks this “4th wave” feminism can jump.  Perhaps a few more. Nico – that cis white male full of privilege -begins to enlighten us with a context involving “manspreading” and it being a means of male dominance and a “performance of masculinity”

“Mantouching operates in a similar way. It’s an assertion of one’s masculinity, at the expense of the personal comfort of those around you. When a man touches a woman without asking, he’s doing so because he feels entitled to access to her body. For him, it might feel like a meaningless or friendly gesture. After all, what’s the matter with touching the small of a woman’s back? It’s not like you’re sexually assaulting her.” 

Think about that for a moment.  If you are male and you touch ANYONE, its an assertion of masculinity that comes at the expense of the comfort of the victims you violate with your touch.  We can only assume that these kinds of vicious assaults are being conducted at an all time high in Eastern Europe, The Middle East, ect.    I can only begin to guess how feminist dogma such as  “multiculturalism” fits into this detestable mantouching.

“While a recent Cosmo survey showed that an alarmingly high 1 in 3 women reported beingsexually harassed in the workplace at some point in their lives, the prevalence of mantouching is likely much higher, simply because no one ever talks about it.”

If we throw mantouching into the category of “sexual assault” which rad-feminists secretly desire, that 1 in 3 should escalate to a 3 in 3 women being harassed at a rate equal to atrocities like the Rape Of Nanking.  Maybe that’s the goal of these internet rad-feminists.  Our mansplaining friend concludes his lecture with this piece of wisdom:

“You might not think a pinched cheek or a shoulder caress is something to lose sleep over. But the next time you see a man put his hand on the small of a woman’s back, look at her eyes. Look at her smile. If you’re looking closely enough, I bet you can see her faking it. I bet you can see how painful it really is.”

Let’s open up Pandora’s Box of nasty unintended and un-anticipated consequences when we apply this standard to all genders – however many there supposedly are anymore. Waitress incidentally touches me. Sexual assault. Co-Worker puts hand on my shoulder. Sexual assault.

How far is this shit going to go?

That was somewhat rhetorical, because it’s going to go very far before people are finally rudely awakened.  Soon physical consent/non-verbal consent won’t be enough. It will be too vague.   I predict there will eventually be an attempt to mandate consent through only “verbal” means.

Even that won’t be enough.  A verbal yes might not even mean “yes” when you’ve requested that now awkward feeling hug.

Doubting The Faith, But Demanding A Purpose

For those of you who don’t know, I was raised as a Christian.  In fact, I still retain many elements of a Christian worldview.  However, it would be disingenuous to call myself one considering I am not practicing nor embracing key parts of the faith.  I am still highly sympathetic to the overall Christian community

To be honest, I’m not completely sure what I believe.   Most of those who leave the faith usually do for reasons of outright rebellion. It is fair to say that I am in a rebellion of sorts, but I still don’t see it as a enough of a reason to completely throw out my worldview.

My “deviation” from the faith has taken place within the last year or so and has been for mostly carnal reasons – engaging in pre-marital sex and a kind of enjoyable narcissism – yet I remain very conflicted.    I enjoy my current life of sinful pleasure, to the point of willful rebellion, but I am fully aware of it.

My father raised me with a Christian worldview, specifically one that deals.  heavily with presuppositional thinking – something that I filter every idea through.   It has caused me to become somewhat of a philosopher at heart.   I’ve looked for alternatives to the faith, but I have not found any viable ones.  I know I am not alone in this predicament.

Most of my friends who became Atheists, Agnostics, or whatever else did so for the reason as to be absolved of responsibility to a specific moral authority.   They are essentially advocates of a moral relativism that allows them to do whatever they wish at this particular time.   I see why they do this and it is an easy route.  I however feel that is shallow.

At my core, I am desperate for a worldview that isn’t dependent on human reason for it’s moral standards, its tenants, and its suggested purpose of life.  Because of this, I find the concept of appealing to human reason through human reason to be circular logic and foolish.

The problem for me is that if I ditch religion, science can’t actually provide me with answers to the major questions of reality, not to mention that science is totally useless on moral questions.  One person pointed this idea out on a comment thread:

“Science, properly defined and understood, explicitly refuses to even get involved in the most important questions. Life, the Universe, Everything. Science stops with a firm thud at the Big Bang, saying nothing at all about what came before or even if that question is even a meaningful one. Science can’t come to grips with Why.

Currently I am at this odd crossroads of depressing philosophical thought:  If there is no absolute truth of any kind – might makes right.  Influence, power, and money make right.  The implication is too scary for me to accept.   Instead I suggest like the X-Files says, “The Truth Is Out There.”  I really hope it is.

I have come to ponder upon the idea that life is short.  I could die tomorrow.  Any of us could.

I am not daft however.

What To Do?

I don’t want to live as a hedonistic narcissist because of this acknowledgment, but I also want to enjoy every last second I have – while still planning and anticipating the future.  Yes, I feel as if I am consumed by cognitive dissonance.

In the Bible, the first chapter of Ecclesiastes covers the concept of vanity, something that has created in me a philosophical mood and outlook that is seriously and worryingly quite pessimistic.

16 I said in my heart, “I have acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were over Jerusalem before me, and my heart has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.” 17 And I applied my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is but a striving after wind.

18 For in much wisdom is much vexation,
    and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

Hate the Bible or not, this is a valid and important point.  The more “knowledge” we acquire, the more despondent and pessimistic we become.    Getting that college degree, large house with a white picket fence, a family and children, ect seems almost useless and vain.  What’s the point? Shouldn’t I just become a complete hedonist and live every moment like it’s my last?

We all die at some point. Nothing can go with us, and we have no idea if there is any kind of afterlife or not.

This disturbs me because the idea of an afterlife is often the only thing that inspires people to be “good” – and I shudder at how relative the idea of what is “good” has become in modern society.   In the modern world, “good” is simply determined by who has the biggest megaphone on social media and who is driving the current accepted cultural narrative of “good.”   That is comforting, and yes, anyone with a brain can see that the assertion I just made is correct.

People mention we are progressing in concern to humanity and what is “good”, but no one seems to have a destination in mind as to exactly where we are progressing.   I.E. -” Like in art when a work is described as ‘significant’ – Significant of what?”  

If good is as relative as everyone these days insist it is – because absolute truth is such a dangerous concept – then what is there to stop us from evil besides the threat of punishment from a government for whatever is accepted as “evil” in our current time?

Quintus Curtius from the manosphere brings up an important point about this:

Man cannot be exhorted to do good by words alone; he must be held in the grip of terror by a religion that promises damnation if he misbehaves. Religion provides the backing to a moral code that rises above man; the myths, fables , and stories of religion are there for a purpose, and that purpose is to impart a moral code that can keep man’s baser instincts in check.

Curtius, Quintus (2014-09-05). Thirty Seven: Essays On Life, Wisdom, And Masculinity (p. 27).

“He also needs myths to sustain him, to console him in his bereavements, to provide a code to anchor his life, and to impart a sense of meaning to this mortal existence. Snatch away his mythos, rob him of his ideal, and you banish his spirit to a rudderless drifting in life’s drama. It is a cruel fate, and one that is far too common. But for some men, the myth is strong. And it is the last thing to die.”

– Curtius, Quintus (2014-09-05). Thirty Seven: Essays On Life, Wisdom, And Masculinity (p. 25).

As the great Christian thinker and philosopher Francis Schaeffer would say, “How then should we live?” Like Shaeffer, I desire an absolute of some kind – in his case the Bible – as to which I can conduct my life and evaluate society.    There is an interesting point about Schaeffer’s interpretation of the moral quandary impacting modern society in his, “How Then Should We Live” series:

“When we base society on humanism, which he defines as “a value system rooted in the belief that man is his own measure, that man is autonomous, totally independent”,[6] all values are relative and we have no way to distinguish right from wrong except for utilitarianism.[7] Because we disagree on what is best for which group, this leads to fragmentation of thought,[8] which has led us to the despair and alienation so prevalent in society today.

I am feeling this despair.  I don’t know honestly know how to solve it, but I fear that the longer I go without an answer, the more worried I become about my future.   I want to retain the Christian faith that I had, but the “faith” part is lacking.

I am eagerly exploring “alternatives”, but there seems to be no worldview out there which doesn’t require a fundamental leap of faith at its core to begin it’s particular journey.   Yes, science can give us facts, but it can’t answer metaphysical issues nor these two questions which pop into my head every day:

What is my purpose in this life? How should I live my life knowing that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed?

In fact, where do I go from here? What do I do?  How should I live?   Is there any conclusion whatsoever that isn’t fallible and based on the assumption of humanity? I have become stuck in a circular spacial vacuum of uncertainty and I don’t like it.

Why Feminism Won’t Liberate Men Sexually

I had the fortune of finding an article posted about 4 weeks ago on “We Hunted The Mammoth” in which the sites owner and noted male feminist – David Futrelle – promoted an article on The New Statesmen about how liberating men sexually would bring about an end to the problems women face concerning sexism.

Liberation usually sounds like a phenomenal idea.  Well, what kind of liberation is the the author – a dominatrix by trade named Margaret Corvid  – talking about?

Let’s get started.  There are plenty of anticipated attacks on MRA’s, the manosphere, and the ever present Patriarchy.   Before we go any further, she makes a very important point about feminism and how it relates to men.

“As feminists, we rightfully put the interests of women first, and we are skeptical of ostensibly feminist arguments that appeal to men’s interests.”

Straight from the horses mouth.  It’s statements like this that should convince anyone with a pair of testicles that any men’s issues the feminist movement claims to advocate for are at most lip service.   When it comes to the lip service, she barely even does that with her suggested feminist skepticism of anything that appeals to “men’s interests.”

The sexual liberation she talks about later will specifically not appeal to the interest of most men in the general population.  Throughout this piece she implies, but never explicit states this idea that men should be vulnerable during sex.   However, the kind of vulnerability she refers to is that of men being dominated or “penetrated”.

“He is allowed to penetrate, but not to be penetrated; to control, but not to surrender; to enjoy the grace, sensuality, and sex appeal of a woman, but never to wish to express these traits himself.”


Mommy Time.


Okay, fine.  What disturbs me is that she continually suggests that men who don’t enjoy or being dominated are somehow suppressing their full sexuality.   Perhaps its not fear preventing an embrace of this kind of sexuality,  but rather a majority of men who really don’t want anything put up their ass.

Even now, what feminism asks of men – that they be conscious of their privilege and respect the agency of women – can lead them to truly satisfying intimate relationships.

Notice how she mentions that being aware of privilege and “respecting the agency of women” whatever that actually means and/or exactly how one goes about that somehow equates to satisfying intimate relationships. 

Think about that.  Since when has checking, being aware, and acknowledging, one’s privilege automatically translated to successful intimacy in relationships?  Acknowledging your male privilege isn’t going to get your wife or girl-friend to put out more.  It’s not going to land you any dates.

In fact, I would suggest that “privileged” checking in front of women for well intentioned reasons of modern SJWs communicate a lack of confidence and assertiveness.   It is the equivalent of undermining yourself – which essentially destroys your chances of landing that date.

Later she makes a similar claim in the ending to this piece:

“For men, a true feminism offers liberation and sexual fulfillment, through the very process of coming to a fuller understanding of their privileges, and burdens, under patriarchy. “

Quite an assumption.  Again, how?  Having a full and thorough understanding of your burdens doesn’t translate to liberation and/or sexual fulfillment.

“We may not be able to reach the most hateful misogynists, but feminists must directly attack the false ideology of men’s rights. We must offer a real answer for men consumed by anxiety, and especially those who feel a sense of sexual frustration.

Yet again, I don’t think the answer to sexual frustration for many men is being dominated and/or having things shoved up their ass.    Being dominated by a dominatrix might appeal to a small segment of the male population, but what about the rest of us?

“It is feminism that offers men the chance at a sexually fulfilling life. When rape culture is extinguished, when patriarchy subsides, all genders can realize their full sexual expression in safety.”

Checking our privilege and patriarchal burdens doesn’t seem to give us a clear picture and game-plan for improving our sex lives if it doesn’t involve anal penetration by a foreign object.  Being forced to rain in our “toxic masculinity” in concern to our sexuality as feminism demands also doesn’t seem to sound like a fulfilling proposition.

I’ll make a brave and shocking assertion; a fulfilling sex life for men can’t be achieved by concentrating specifically on the issues of women and ignoring those of men which today’s radical feminists seem to do quite often.




Why Living Like A Villain Is Shallow

The False Allure Of Villainy

Recently, I’ve stumbled across several articles and posts dedicated to the benefits of living like a villain and why we should consider it.   There were three main points the writer made in the article, Why You Should Live Life Like A Villain, on ROK:

– Villains live more fulfilling lives than heroes.

– Villains command much more respect than heroes.

– The hero never gets the girl while the villain is always up to his eyebrows in pussy.

So essentially, you have to sell your soul if you want to get the girl and enjoy life.  I firmly disagree with this.  On our deathbeds, do we really want to have lived a life that deep down we were ashamed of?   No, I am not encouraging you to be a White Knight.   In fact, refusing to be an asshole doesn’t automatically mean the only alternative to that is “White Knighting.”

Don’t get me wrong, because I actually see his point. Yes, the bastards/assholes get laid and the nice-guys flounder in the wind. This is why it might be necessary to invoke just a bit of your inner asshole to get your foot in the door to meeting a girl you are actually interested in.  However, do you want to be an asshole for you entire life?  In marriage, work, friends, life?

Becoming What You Hate

Notice one of the core tenants of becoming a villain: Being an asshole. The kind of women who are attracted to “bad boys” are likely not LTR material and certainly aren’t marriage material. They might be good for a one night stand, but you will never be able to be “bad enough” before it catches up with you – either legally or through isolating your friends and family – in the long run.

What makes a “bad boy” or an asshole? Let’s think about it for a second. Knowing exactly what you want in a relationship and when to move on doesn’t make you an asshole, rather it makes you carefully think through what you are seeking for in any relationship – including all of the pros and cons.   Mike Cernovich makes this point about becoming “Alpha”:

I’d never hate on a  man who went monogamous. Being alpha is about getting what you want. If you’re in a relationship that makes you happy, good for you.

If you are looking for a romantic relationship with a girl who only is interested in being your friend, move on immediately as you will be disappointed.

Jen Kim in an article in Psychology Today wrote a response article to, “Do Assholes Really Finish First? asking, “Do Girls Really Love Assholes?”

SBK writes: “Bad boys tend to have lots of positive traits that come along for the ride of the badness such as good looks, confidence, creativity, humor, charisma, high energy, and good social skills— all things women find attractive.”

He also found that for men “one striking direct path to mating success stood out… low agreeableness; the lower the agreeableness, the more sexual partners.”

If there is anything TRP has taught me, it’s that confidence is the most important thing anyone can have and that there is a difference between being an asshole and having confidence.   It is often “confidence” – more on this later – which helps to create all the “asshole” attributes mentioned in the quote above.  The article “Do Assholes Really Finish First?” went into some detail about the success of Tucker Max, who has been able to make a name and a prosperous living off his tales of being an asshole.

He Eventually Destroyed His Entire Life

However, it seems the shallowness of being an asshole as burnt him out. He literally is doing a form of penance with a reverse pendulum swing to his new site, “Mating Grounds” which is essentially a politically correct tip site on dating advice that we all know doesn’t work too well.   Being an asshole however, did burn him out as he points out when he finally came back “online” after years of hiatus:

I was a ridiculous narcissist in my twenties. It’s not even that I didn’t care about other people. It’s way beyond that. I just didn’t even understand that other people even existed or mattered. I do not believe I was a true NPD [narcissistic personality disorder] in the clinical sense. But, dude, I was close.“I ended up hurting a lot of people and not even realizing it. Because of that narcissism, I didn’t connect well to other people. I used a lot of people a lot of times, in ways I didn’t understand.

Separating Confidence From Assholes

The reason why people aspire to be “assholes” is that they don’t realize it is the confidence that assholes have that enables them to be successful with women and other endeavor in their lives.  Assholes often show signs of being willing to take risks, being brave, and having ambition. For some reason however, people forget that they can be all of these things – an develop all of those traits in the quote mentioned above – without actually being an asshole.

Let’s face it; assholes are often shallow people.  They become the narcissists that we despise.  One reason so many of us rightfully dislike feminism is because it turns people into “victims” in which everything is about them and is the fault of somebody else.  These people continually attempt to “out-victim” each other and get enraged when you refuse to accept their bullshit.

They get what they want through manipulation and bullying other people – often via social media and political pressure – into going along with what they want.  We rightfully condemn these assholes for what they are.  Do we really want to become like them and become serial manipulators obsessed with only ourselves first?

Enjoying Life: Transcending Pleasure And Money

We all want to enjoy life.  We NEED other people around and with us to do exactly that. Like it or not, it is other humans – that unique component to life – that make it worth living.

If you want to attract girls and be someone who other men want to be around, become a man.   Act like a man. Develop a character that bursts from the seams with masculinity.    Make sure they can see it through what your actions and what you say.  This is where a lot of confusion has taken place in what society – specifically Social Justice Warriors and feminists have defined as being an asshole.  Ignore the repugnant nonsense they spew about what makes an asshole, especially considering that this exactly what they have turned into themselves.

Despite what feminists say about what is “toxic masculinity” in men and how it equates to being an asshole, I encourage all of us to be men and to let our masculinity pour from every fiber of your being.   Their definition of toxic masculinity is often exactly what men should strive to become. Never forget that.

You don’t have to be a boy scout for the sake of others. You do however want to be a man of courage, honor, and integrity because it is a masculine virtue that will improve your life.  It will build up networks of real friends who can become like a second family.  The key concept there is “Real Friends”, something which is non-existent for assholes whose “friends” amount to people dedicated to using and manipulating each other.

It will help you to see through the bullshit of the deceitful and at the same time let others see you for the real man that you are.  People want to be around men who are actually courageous and honorable.  Real virtues are something that the epic heroes of history have aspired to and they attracted the sort of motivated, ambitious, and honorable companions that we all at our very core desire.

Yes, we can romanticize “heroes” to the point of a fantasy that serves no purpose toward improving ourselves and our character.   Will aspiring to be a villain as a replacement construct any better of a fantasy? Do any of us – hero or villain – really want to die alone?

Being a villain – specifically one who is an asshole and a narcissist is shallow as people will eventually see you for what you are; a man whose narcissism which will eventually destroy himself.  It’s like getting credit card debt.  You can spend all the money you want now, but later you will still have to pay the piper, most likely with interest.   It may be “easy” and profitable in the short-term, but it will have negative consequences in the long-run.  Perhaps those may never actually be financially, but living with yourself and the destruction of your soul will take their own toll.

Go ahead and lie to yourself about how satisfying it supposedly make your life.  If we are actually honest with ourselves, we full well know deep down that there is so much more to a fulfilling and enjoyable life then the supposed romantic allure of “living like a villain”.   Real life satisfaction comes from becoming a man and living like one.



Words For My Fair Lass

I am your rock and refuge.

When the weight of the world bears down upon you, I shall be there.

My dearest, hold on to me.

Disaster may strike, but together we will remain resolute.

Biterness and despair shall not encompass us.  Pain shall not hinder us. The jealousy of the world shall only strengthen us.

Hold on to me. My strength will shelter you and my fortitude will rescue you from the deepest depths of worry.

The dragons may circle our castle, but they will never break our resolve.

In the face of destruction, I will remain steadfast for you who I cherish.

I will lend you my helping hand which I know you will always treasure.

Let them come.






In Remembrance: Opinionated Man

Opinionated Man a.k.a Jason Cushman recently had the unfortunate experience of being told by WordPress that “mass following” – which literally can include simply following too many people back – is now a WordPress crime under the “spam” category.    We all hate spam, but this is a curious redefinition and it changes how the game is played right in the middle of it.

It’s kind of like playing a game with an older brother that suddenly tells you about a new rule in the game that you didn’t know about, but it benefits him alot.  You check out the rulebook and its apparently there.

It grabs your attention doesn’t it?

Except in this case, there are A LOT of rules.  Often these Terms Of Service agreements and the subsequent rules that follow are substantial.  It’s often hard to realize you’ve broken a rule, simply because there are so many of them.  It allows WordPress to play a kind of “Gotcha!” game.   This was a moderator’s official explanation:

The follow feature was intended to help you read blogs that you enjoy, not as a means of promotion. Our automated systems may interfere with behavior that looks more like a spam bot than a human.

I find this explanation puzzling, considering that following someone is a means of promotion. It’s not exactly the same thing as “sharing” a post and/or blog would be via social media and other means, but it is promotional.

I suppose there is only so much a blogger can take, and Cushman has decided that his number is up.  Harsh Reality will now be going “Private“. I’m not exactly sure what that means and the exact impact of it, but being the genius that I’m not, even I know it’s not good.

HarsH ReaLiTy will go “private” next week. I will keep the domain since it is worth money and will decide what to do with the site later. I appreciate all the support, but please just let it go. No reason for other sites to get flagged or banned because of my little blog. Take care WP and I have enjoyed the past two years.

If you have articles you have shared on this website please copy and grab them before the 7 days is up. Thanks.

Jason C. Cushman


To myself, this is a dastardly and unexpected blow.  One of the primary reasons I continued to blog and started to enjoy it was encountering Harsh Reality.

I can still recall the first time I stumbled on his site and read the header and thought to myself, “Someone who wants to offend everyone at least once!”   In today’s day and age of internet activists who exist in their own bubbles, it’s alot easier to offend people than you would think, but can also be alot more costly, especially if the ensuing twitter lynch mobs have their way.  It’s why I appreciated Jason’s balls – (That is going to look interesting out of context.) – a lot more then most might.   Hopefully, OM stick’s around, but perhaps… just perhaps, he needs a bit of a break.

Here’s to Jason:

Your thoughts and insight are appreciated.

Problems in the Manosphere

The Emerging Problem

It deeply pains me to admit this, but the “manosphere” and some who have taken “The Red Pill”  (TRP) have allowed their pain and anger to distract them from self-improvement and to mistakenly and irresponsibly blame women for their pain.

In fact, it has become home to some men who might actually hate women – in particular the “Men Going Their Own Way”  (MGTOW) portion of it who I actually deeply sympathize with.  (Disclosure: I’m not a feminist.)

The thing is, most men aren’t meant to be bachelors.  Despite what most MGTOWs will tell you, men and women need each other.  We were designed to be together. It’s good and its healthy, regardless of how much modern day feminism has poisoned the waters between the two genders.

Yes, there actually are some misogynists who are TRP – some of these MGTOWs.  Like any ideology that has come about as a backlash because of the insanity that 3rd wave feminism has become, it has members who have become just as hate-filled as the feminist movement it despises.    Aaron Clarey a.k.a Captain Capitalism has made a video saying some things that really needed to be said about this emerging problem.  There may be some backlash, but the truth and objective critiques meant to help others hurt.


Even though I’m only about 6 months in TRP, I understand that the whole point of the TRP is to acknowledge one’s own personal responsibility, rather then defer it to the opposite sex with excuses like, “All Women Are Like That” (AWALT) when rejection occurs – particularly approach rejection and rejection from women overall.   (I will admit,  I don’t experience approach rejection all that often.)

MGTOW is supposedly specifically about improving yourself, becoming self-disciplined, and becoming someone that not only women want to be around, but other men as well by not putting “pussy” on a pedestal – you know what white knights and manginas actually do.   Instead, it more and more is becoming a circle-jerk where we talk about how much they hate how  “terrible” women are.

Newsflash:  Only just over 15% of women identify as feminists, and most of those aren’t the radicals who we hear the most about online.

Some of these MGTOWs, as Clarey points out, haven’t been successful with women because they aren’t willing to put in the effort which is shocking considering I know some older ugly fat dudes who still get laid.   What is the entire point of TRP and of the MGTOWs with in it? Simple.  Take personal responsibility for yourself instead of blaming others – that includes women. This is makes TRP like a beacon of light in the midst of darkness because we live in a culture where EVERYTHING is someone else’s fault. Yes, many women have been unfortunately influenced by modern day feminism and it has helped to warp their attitudes toward men.

Now some of us Red Pillers have even developed our own kinds of shaming languages which we then sling at anyone who is willing to impartially observe on the sidelines. We then continue to blame women, and when we experience rejection, we spew a bunch of vitriol about “AWALT” and the like.

The Manosphere, and the The Red Pill in general is about improving yourself and embracing reality, not blaming women for every problem under the sun.  Women aren’t the enemy.   They are our mothers, our sisters, our wives, and our daughters.  Regardless of what is said, men and women will always need each other.  It’s a fact of history and of life.

Say anything remotely good about women and you are some sort of mangina white knighting feminist.  If we keep abusing these words like feminists have done with words like misogyny and rape, soon they won’t mean anything.

This is shocking to think, but some men – myself included- really like women. I dare say it’s because of our biology! Hell, some of us actually like the “traditional” idea of finding a girl, getting married, and growing into old age together and being happy doing it.   I grow tired of seeing people in TRP community whose pain I can identify with throw these blanket assumptions of absolute fact upon all women.

Growing Pains


Someone needed to say this in the manosphere and it hasn’t been just Clarey.  About two weeks ago “Blair Naso” at the so affectionately labeled “misogyny central” site Return Of Kings  wrote a brilliant piece, Most Men Do Not Deserve A Marriageable Woman pointing out this exact problem and blame game we have allowed ourselves to get suckered into.  He points out in the article  (1) how we have allowed ourselves to blame everyone else – women in particular for our problems – when it comes to having “bad” experiences with them and finding them and (2) how we have developed a sense of entitlement because we exist.  When I use the word “entitlement”, I’m not using it in the awful feminist sense where approaching a girl lands you that label, but in an honest objective compassionate sense.

And of course you can claim that all women today are whores, but that is not true either. There are many women who still have a sense of dignity and only give away their sex selectively, since that is what women naturally want to do. True, there are not many virgins outside of the freshmen at Christian colleges in the southern states, but that does not mean that every woman allows herself to be the town bicycle.

While marriage is often a risky proposition for men in our time because of no-fault divorce laws, let’s at least attempt to be honest.; not every women wants to screw you over, divorce you in the future, take your kids, make you pay child support and alimony, and force you to live in a depreciating existence in a terrible apartment for the rest of your life.  Yes, it has happened, but this is the result of settling down with the wrong women – something TRP should help one avoid.

Neither are all women – or dare I say all feminists – deliberate and fully aware irrational feminazis.   Instead of complaining about only slutty women are, stop going to those places as Blair points out.

Maybe the reason you think every single Western girl is a tramp is because you keep searching for girls on ladies night in bars. Go volunteer for a boring non-profit that makes for a bad photo shoot, and you will be more likely to find the wife you are looking for.

A shocking idea. Perhaps –  just perhaps – more traditionally minded girls who do want to settle down will employ their time with worthy causes.   One element of TRP that somewhat bothers me is the constant encouraging of men to sleep with “sluts” as they ride the carousel till they hit the “wall” in their later 30s.  Why do we encourage this kind of behavior – or better yet enthusiastically and opportunistically make use of it – while deriding these so called sluts? It’s almost as if we want women to be “slutty” so that  we can excuse, dismiss, and insist that there is an apparent lack of worthy and honorable women to commit to so that we can pretend that said slutty women are our only alternative and is the “reality” of the situation.

You rant about how lustful women are, but how much better are you yourself? All you care about is increasing your notch count no matter what the consequences. You sleep with fat girls, you sleep with career-obsessed women, you sleep with androgynous women, and then you wonder why there are so many of them around.

Blair goes on to make an important point that even feminists don’t like:

Contrary to popular myth, feminism did not invent the slut. Men even have always had a way to get their rocks off before settling down. For example, the samba in Brazil provided a context to meet easy women long before the 1960s.

These “marriageable” women might be rejecting us for more worthy prospects because we have been settling for the “sluts” and their parents have been smart enough to teach them that you don’t want a man whose life revolves around the idea of “non-commitment” and “pumping-and-dumping”.

We can lament about all the problems of the modern day dating market, but it doesn’t change the fact that if we don’t put some effort into our appearance, game, and overall life,  we can’t demand girls pay attention to us vs the better men out there.

There is a time and a place for it, but if we want to remain in said time and place our entire lives, can we really moan, groan, and rage that we aren’t attracting said marriageable women?  Self-Improvement takes time, effort, and discipline.

Furthermore, do you have any real marketable skills? You say you want a stay-at-home wife, but what have you accomplished to provide that? Laziness is also a sin in most world religions, so instead of living in an apartment with your Call of Duty buddies “because the economy is just that bad,” spend a year in vocational school and learn a trade.

Well that stings. I’ll be honest. I don’t really have many worthy skills.  I’m often lazy and I waste my time.  At this time, I’m content to live on very little and to enjoying the small cheap parts of life.  This however isn’t necessarily going to attract women who are looking for a “provider” of sorts.

While it’s hard to become a stable provider these days, one can still be responsible with their time and devote as much as possible of it to self-improvement and obtaining marketable job skills.  (I’m really trying to limit my video game time.)  I’m lucky I’m attractive, because it isn’t the money or the fame that has helped me get laid.

Making The Best Of Our Situation

In TRP and among most MGTOW, we acknowledged that there is certainly a phrase of anger about the realities of today’s dating situation, the destruction of families, and the hardships of divorced men who have been taken to the cleaners by their now Ex-wives.  We can understand why they don’t trust women. Even those of us who haven’t been married have experienced rejection of some kind.   That phrase isn’t suppose to last your entire life.

Pain can’t be used as an excuse to let ourselves become angry and distant.   Let’s not lie to ourselves; we also can become “spinsters” in our old age that no one wants to be with. Pain is a part of life, but wallowing it in it, refusing to make an effort to escape it, and blaming everyone else for it is what third-wave feminists do.  That is something we can’t allow ourselves to become if we wish to actually enjoy life.  Don’t become like them.

Everyday, I see a lot of people in pain. I’ve met men who have been divorced or lost loved ones and I can see it in their eyes.  I can also see these people making excuses for avoiding any real effort to take steps to become happy.  I understand their reasons, and while valid, it doesn’t make their situation any better or cause them to feel any better.

If I am truly a compassionate person, I won’t simply nod my head and avoid any real attempt to aid them in escaping their depression and pain. At some point, you must make that initial attempt to get out of it.  As Mike at Danger & Play puts it, “It doesn’t matter how you start. All that matters is that you start.”  In circumstances like this where the pain is very real, his motto, “Fuck it, I’m going in,” is an important mindset to adopt.

So when I see the main vehicle of “coping” with life’s problems becoming a “fuck women” fest,  I’ll point out that this permanent like state-of-anger and rage does nothing to improve ours and their plight with women. I and others must point this out, because we actually care about our fellow men. Don’t let this “criticism” become mistakenly dismissed because we are not vicious feminists with cyber-lynch mobs wielding axes to attack the already downtrodden with.   We actually do care.


Twitter Fun with SJWs angry with Forney.

On Friday, twitter was still abuzz and very angry over Matt Forney’s article on ROK: 5 Reasons Girls With Tattoos and Piercings Are Broken.  Well 20,000+ comments later and still raging, Forney has been fortunate enough to soak in the hate and slew of death threats.  The internet these days is entertaining. Say something people really don’t like, and you can expect for people to threaten to kill you.  Just got to get used to it.

Well, I saw two SJWs on twitter tweeting about hating Forney and the like so I figured I would have some fun. The tweet that got me was the one telling Forney his mother should have an abortion.

Challenge accepted.

1.  I also led off with my favorite shock style endorsement of the pro-choice position.  I encouraged all feminists to always have an abortion.  To this one of them responded that she was now going to get pregnant and have a kid named after me.

2.  I immediately dropped some buzzwords like  “cis” , “privilege” and “gender.   Both of the tweeters then mentioned how I must hate them being non-white. Nice try though, and I dropped my “half-white” card.   Now the genocide cards works pretty damn well in terms of privilege arguments, but it was tough considering one was Jewish.

3. I identified as transgender for the conversation and told them to check their privilege. The tweets went back and forth but they were amused by an MRA troll – apparently that’s what I am – being transgender.   That definitely could have entailed further labels and transphobic accusations.

In reflection what I should have done after being accused of being a troll is to accuse them of a new level of transphobia based on insisting that transgender folks can’t have certain opinions without being labeled trolls.  Whole new level of transphobia, right?

I’ll try it out on some new angry tweeters later.  It’s amazing to see what throwing in the right buzzwords can do nowadays.  The internet really is the ultimate form of entertainment.