Learning the Hard Lessons About Sex and Porn

Regretfully for the last 10 years, I watched plenty of porn which aided in my frequent and fervent masturbation each day. It gave all sorts of bizarre inclination and fetishes. Porn showed me how the bodies banged, loud wails, and how many holes could be stuffed at the same time, but not much else.

Easy access on any device, a quick jerk and release, and I was back to my video games, reading, or anything else I felt like at that moment.  Time was being used efficiently.  After watching some gangbang for the zillionth time, I clearly knew more about getting laid. All was well.  Was I lacking anything?

What was lacking is that I still didn’t know how to approach, talk, or much less make the moves on girls so any of that glorious fun looking sex would come my way.  Touching and stroking would apparently moisten things up if I got to that part where my fingers and lips were welcomed, but I wasn’t sure about the rest.  We saw the penetration, but not how a guy actually got a girl to desire that with him.

Your wife is right there, but this video…

When I finally bust from my virgin cage and began to actually have sex with in-the-flesh girls, I ran into moments where I couldn’t get or stay hard.  Instead of being as ravenous and filled with testosterone like King Kong, I would suddenly be unable to perform – something devastating for both parties involved.  Imagine the excitement of knowing you were gonna get some and the confidence blow when you go limp.

What was happening?

A recent phenomena in secular and Christian circles encourages teenagers and college students to wait till their late 20s to 30s to get married.  One must wait till they are financially stable, out of debt, and raking in the big bucks after finally establishing their career – which will never happen for most of us until we hit our late 30s if we are lucky.

During that time you better abstain from the sex, avoid that porn, and stop thinking about how you really want to be enjoying all that meaningless sex your friends are having while you wear your own kind of chastity belt having kissed dating goodbye.  You avoid that porn as much as possible, but the addiction begins – one that’s affecting many Christian men (and women).  In fact something like a third of visitors to porn sites are now women.

I was a product of this – though my dad encouraged me to get married to alleviate my desires.  Of course, I was picky, selfish, immature, and irresponsible.  I wasn’t looking for a wife just yet, but a “best friend”  and someone who wanted to mate frequently.

Supplementing my technical “virginity” with porn, I held on to that sacred virginity as long as possible so I could claim some moral high-ground. Eventually I said to hell with it and went on my journey of debauchery. I didn’t reject my faith, but I certainly wasn’t going to go to church and bother with guilt.

Perhaps I was lucky to experience the “player burnout” rather quickly and realize that I wanted to find a wife with which to raise a family – and have plenty of sex with of course – and devote my time less to pursuit and more to worthwhile activities.

 

Game And Beyond

I had to learn game. Friends gave me advice.  The internet gave me stories.  Podcasts, videos, forum boards, and all those misogynist sexist bastards shared the details of what women wanted and turned them on, rather then what they said they wanted.

Embracing my inner confident asshole, I never looked back. My conquests came through, and my confidence rose to levels of those lucky nerds who gets the girl in those vapid and misleading movies. In my nerdy days, those romantic happy endings were in a galaxy far far away of which I lacked access

Those problems I mentioned earlier however didn’t evaporate.  Lurking like a nagging and unscabbed wound, they poked at me.

I recall Davis Aurini mentioned on a stream how men with girlfriends or wives would often jerk off to porn instead of having sex with them. Their natural attraction toward the feminine body which should have given them rock hard boners was being subdued and withered.

These words stuck me, because what he described was exactly what I was doing – even when I hit my “prime”.  I supplemented actual sex with porn, often preferring the porn to any “real” girl. It was easy, took less effort, and was warping my mind and ability to be aroused by a REAL woman.

Guaranteed release, no effort.

When I met my wife, we had intense sexual attraction. Our secretive and risky adventures to have sex would give way for daily and comfortable sweat sessions once we got married. This has never stopped – yes we still have sex every day.

What also never stopped until recently was me using porn on the side.  While me and my wife had watched some together to get ideas, I would often watch it when she wasn’t around.  During her back to back pregnancies, it made her feel worse and worse as her body confidence took massive hits due to the natural weight gain of pregnancy.

In fact, at points I couldn’t get hard without watching porn before I had sex with her. As you can imagine, it made her feel like crap.  Furthermore, I was often only able to oblige her to sex twice a day because my drive had decreased from jerking off to porn during the other parts of the day.

Yes, you did read that right. Sex only twice a day on average instead of more because my wife’s sex drive is that high.  That’s how much she is attracted to me, loves me, and wants me.  I was letting her down.  Her great body that should have been driving me crazy was being ignored for people who meant nothing to me on the web.

Porn even made me lazy.  I wouldn’t do any at home workouts and my “desk job” managed to pack on an additional 30 pounds making me officially overweight for my height.  Still through all of this, my wife strongly desires me.

I’m lucky gentleman.  Yea my game is good as are my looks, but how many men can say the same in a similar situation? My wife is just that loyal and into me.

I could have very well permanently sabotaged my relationship and marriage to get that momentary high from watching and jerking to porn.

My wife deserves more. She deserves all the sex she can get from me, regardless if I’m feeling horny or not.  Porn only lowered my libido. It’s a dangerous drug that’s hard to give up.  Even still, I sometimes feel permanently altered from its affect when me and my wife go at it.

It’s a lesson I will teach my two sons. I encourage all of you to do the same and be careful – even using it as a stimulus for you and your wives.  Avoid it.  Your wife or girlfriend has a body that you should ravish.  Study hers and do exactly that.

Sometimes the old wisdom from those prudish puritan conservatives and I daresay insane raving feminists who disprove of porn for opposite reasons can be correct.  Plenty of studies tell us about the ill effects of porn on men and even on women who have developed addictions.  You just don’t take those effects seriously until it happens to you.

The Next Red Pill: Building The Family Legacy

The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.” –  G.K. Chesterton

A while back, many in the anglosphere noticed that many of the notorious “PUAS” were reaching the end of their hedonic treadmills.   For some like Roosh, they were entering a new season of life.  Those of us who had discovered the Red Pill knew there had to be more.  We realized that the West had to be rebuilt with a solid foundation and a legacy that couldn’t be based on hedonism, bashing feminists, or have an identity built on opposition.

Note Roosh’s startling admission a few months ago that goes to show were he is now:

At the height of my PUA days, I declared feminists as my enemy. They were degenerate, anti-family, and promiscuous. This was at the peak of when I embarked on behavior that was degenerate, anti-family, and promiscuous. My attacks against them were one way of relieving the guilt and discomfort of my own behavior, since most of the girls I slept with had to have feminist thoughts in their minds to allow me to gain easy sex. I was experiencing pleasurable orgasms with the enemy in the evening then writing about how bad they were the day after.

We were staring into the abyss and it was turning us.  While pretending to flush the sewage, we contributed to it while calling the girls who put out easy sluts.  What was the point at the end of it?  Were we doing anything useful? Building the kind of culture and society that we kept pointing out was being destroyed, but deliberately contributing to its very destruction?

There is a next step.   Some of us may not be able to to take it and for that I will not pass judgement.  But those of us who can must, and so we have.  I’d like to bring your attention to two new sites in particular that I believe are of vast importance to building that foundation – one that wont be built off bashing feminism, sjws, and a myriad of other things that ARE NOT in our immediate local context to effect.

A Kings Castle is what I believe is the next evolution of ROK, except it focuses on fathers and families.  Those two subjects are essential for the stable foundation and prosperity of any culture and society.  It’s staffed by multiple men who all are fathers and husbands who are doing their part to try and promote healthy family growth and life.    Demographics is destiny and a demographic that is composed of strong families is what will build rise from the ashes of what is left of American culture.    You’ll notice that the race obsession isn’t a part of that.

The other is Jacobite Mag.   A particular article of theirs, “The Right Needs Joy” struck me.  It argues the definition of Thomas Aquinas in that joy proceeds from love and the truest joy is ordered love that focuses on the very things that deserve that love.  The following point is devastatingly accurate:

“This sort of joy is in dangerously short supply. Many on the right, especially those who identify as “Alt-Right,” spend massive amounts of time rejoicing in the pain of those with whom they disagree. The fact that videos about “libtard meltdowns” and “Butt-Hurt Crying Hillary Voters Compilation” have far more views than videos about Shakespeare, Alexis de Tocqueville, and Dante’s Commedia, should tell us something. Young conservatives and reactionaries, much as they flail their hands at the death of Western civilization and the loss of wisdom, do very little in the way of actually preserving the beauty and truth underlying this great tradition. If joy is truly a result of love, man must be very careful to develop the right affections in his breast. Right now many on the right seem hellbent on cultivating affection for dank memes rather than for truth, goodness, and beauty.”

“When not mocking, many give way to the temptation of defeatism, resentment, and self-congratulation. One of the clearest examples of this habit is the use of the “red pill” metaphor. While it has some communicative merit in expressing how fundamental many of the disagreements between progressives and traditionalists are, it is a troubling metaphor. It encourages a gnostic view of truth and happiness, in which only those who have seen through the fog of progressive brainwashing can recognize any meaningful truths. While I certainly agree that contemporary progressivism is a suicidal ideology, many virtuous, dedicated, and intelligent people ascribe to some part of it while still recognizing aspects of reality. Insofar as these people are living in the truth, they are able to properly rejoice in it. Meanwhile, many who rightly critique the emptiness of the progressive project fall into habits of resentment and unhappiness that actually moves them farther away not just from joy and charity, but truth itself.”

If we want to Red Pill anyone, we have to lead by example.  How much joy can you have if your primary purpose is destruction and schadenfreude instead of laying down roots and a foundation?  The Alt Reich could learn from this.  Or they can continue their descent into blaming instead of building.

They’ve been consumed by hate. Instead of building families they writhe with hatred of jews, blacks, and whoever else can be blamed for why their life isnt what it shouldnt be.   What a terrible way to go.  They’ve missed what will really rebuild not just “whites”, but everyone. Yes, that includes our black brethren in the cities.

Stable families that show love, laughter, faith, truth, beauty, goodness, and a reason to get up tomorrow morning with a purpose and hope in life.   We need to focus on what we can actually affect – the lives of those around us.  This is done through families that can build up the community and the lives of those in our community.  It’s probably the primary point that the authors of A Kings Castle will hammer home; focus on what we can affect instead of national politics and scaremongering.

See this happy face?

@makaylaarianna gave Julius a donut. It went everywhere. #toddlers #boys

A post shared by Lucas Temple (@armenia4ever) on

That’s my son. Him and his younger brother will build a legacy that affects our families, friends, and neighbors.  That’s how you Red Pill the world around you; by showing them how it’s done.  We will outbreed those who so throughout endorse abortion and create a new foundation built on the shoulders of those who came before us.

We will build marriages worthy of remembrance and praise.  Our children will rise to the top bringing those around them on the ride.  The community around us will see our lives.  We will live, drink, laugh, and not be brought down by the things in life we CANT control.   There is a better way and we will show it.

I’m far from perfect – of that my wife will assure you.  But damnit, I’m going to keep going forward and showing those around me that life is worth living, the future is worth building, and that even in the darkest of times and despair there is always a reason to keep going.

 

Do You Know Your Neighbors?

A lady on the morning news is a few streets down from me showing everyone the prevalent and widespread flooding from recent vicious storms. She talks to a few people nearby I’ve never met before.  Two of the girls want to drive through a newly created pond to grab breakfast.  Another guy is closely watching his half submerged house for flooding in critical areas.  I don’t know any of these people, yet they are my neighbors.

Why not?

Another day, another Trump headline.  Some shootings in Chicago again.  Crazy stories and revelations on the Drudge Report about a Russian lawyer no one’s ever heard of.  CNN with shady coverage.  Cringeworthy topless feminists trying to break up a Woody Allen concert.

Virtually every story I come across that I give attention to has no effect on my daily life.  I “know” so much about what’s going on all over the world and nation, but just until today, I had no idea how bad the flooding damage was in my neighborhood and in nearby towns.   In fact, I barely know what’s going on in people’s lives.  Yes, I am busy creature with my wife and kids, but it’s far easier to share a Facebook status or meme than it is to get involved locally.

Plus I get to virtue signal to my own group that I’m woke.  I’ve done my duty for the day and can avoid paying any more attention to the depressing hitsquad media circus in the current year.  Of course, I’m able to do this because my life isn’t terribly hard at the moment.

I used to think that the majority of Americans are apathetic to the “important” stuff happening in the world and nation – and to some extent I still think that’s true – but how much can you care about riots in Berkeley when your basement is flooded and everything you had down there is trashed?

We often ask why all these sheeple don’t care about all the important stuff we know is important, but why should they? When I worked third shift, it was a second job for most of my co-workers. They were working 16 hours a day and sleeping maybe 5 if they were lucky.  They didn’t have time, and anything they did wasn’t going to be spent worrying needlessly about things they couldn’t affect.   Is it really apathy when they barely have time to sleep?

Is it really Apathy?

Time is the ultimate resource, and for all the time I and others bitch about nonsense happening on College campuses to celebrities lecturing us, none of it matters to someone who is spending all their time trying to pump water out of their basement.

I and many of us in this dissident right sphere have ignored our neighbors for national issues.  We’ve ignored the struggles, trials, and chaos that plagues those around us to formulate musings, observations, and rants about feminism, social justice blatherings, and vacuous journalism.  Say what you want about guys like Jack Donovan, but at least he’s creating his own tribe with which to live his life.

I’m back in Illinois – and looking at moving to Wisconsin the future, and I can’t help but notice that people don’t have time to care when shitholes like Waukegan, Zion, and North Chicago are filled with the hopeless who can’t find jobs, drug pushers on the street, and people begging you for money and cigarettes on every corner.  Regardless of whether you loathe or hate Trump, he has no idea who you are and isn’t going to bail you out of your shitty life situation. Neither obviously will his critics.

We keep looking for political saviors to improve our lives, but we find none because the national is never focused or concerned on the local – even more so for your smaller towns.  Washington DC doesn’t care about you. Chicago doesn’t care about the small towns in the rest of the state.  (There’s a reason urban and rural concerns and voting is so different. )

If we want to convince people to care about  the problems that face our future, we have to make their future one that is worth living for.  The friends you make are the ones that will hear you out because they know you, care about you, know the investment you have in their lives, and they know you are going through the same crap they are thus forming a mutual identity.    No one REALLY cares about those that aren’t like them or in the same plight.

Mark my words, this is what will drive a new cultural class identity – not race or ethnicity.  Anyone with brains already knows that there’s little worth preserving in France, that Japan disdains foreigners, and that Europe’s problem’s didn’t come from refugees, but from the terrible bitter fruit of the cursed French Revolution and Enlightenment.  But no, let’s blame the Jews and blacks.

Yea we can be woke with our statistics about true crime, but until communities are rebuilt, it’s pointless virtue signaling to our own crowd and arguing with people online who have never met us and consider us loathsome deplorable chem drooling hicks from the Appalachians who apparently deserve to die.

Online persuasion with irritable keyboard happy strangers is a fool’s errand.  Until they meet us face-to-face, their hatred will always blind them to the fact that the suffering of people who aren’t a “minority” or marginalized group actually matters.

Stop going to fight AntiFa in Berkeley or some other peaceful, prosperous, and devoid of poverty liberal city.  Focus on your neighbors instead.    If AntiFa tries to show up to where you live, then fight them there – hopefully with locals and neighbors who don’t care about politics, but see AntiFa as invading scum who are the Fascists they claim to fight.

We want to be on the frontlines “making a difference”, but the frontlines are our OWN communities. That’s where the war has to be “fought”, where it’s always been fought, and it for sure as hell isn’t for those who troll mercilessly on twitter with no attachments to a communities people in real life.   It’s for those who are willing to strain their backs, babysit their neighbors kids, and actually get off their damn smartphone and learn that actual face-to-face conversation is what builds trust, community, and stability for the foundations of the future.

Online Movements Are Nothing Without Local Community

Ask yourself, how much do you have in common with those in online communities besides overlapping parts of your worldview?   If you perished tomorrow, would you be missed? Would articles be written? By no means should any relationships and friendships formed online be denigrated, but are your forming quality relationships with your neighbors?  If a Ferguson erupted in your town, your and your  frantic neighbors would share the same terrifying situation.

What’s left of the Alt-right is already proving to be narcissistic feuding degenerates all wanting a piece for themselves and to rule it from their arm chairs, while throwing each other under the bus.  The online presence is often just that; online trolls to personalities either spamming books, asking for patreon donations, or meming from sun up to sun down. (I won’t denigrate the meme aspect of the culture war.)

Just as most of us pessimistic types realized, online movements are often corrupted into some warped version of themselves – as the white nationalists among us make clear daily as they obsess about race, race, and more race.  Often, I’m wondering if they are just as bitter as the BLM types and what the hell is worth preserving of “white” culture – whatever that means these days besides materialism and perpetually shopping till you drop.

What the alt-right originally undertook – the forming of an identity that could rebuild the crumbling foundations of Western culture – has instead been subverted into a shallow identity of “opposition” to the left.  Rather than offer up real solutions – with the exception of Vox Day – it’s been reduced down to infighting, blaming, “big government is great if it helps whites”, and ramblings about IQ.

As Davis Aurini points out regarding the eventual subversion and death of online movements:

“Take a group of people – any group of people – and if they lack an explicit purpose for associating, as well as a command and control system to make sure that purpose doesn’t waver, their identity will eventually boil down to the lowest common denominator.  And the lowest common denominator for any group is usually the fact that they’re not that other group.  Their identity will become something reactionary and negative; by defining themselves as the opposite of that which they oppose, they will eventually allow that other group to define who they are.  Often enough, their opposition will do the same thing.  Soon enough, you have two groups who are mirror images of one another, fighting one another, and whatever principles or goals that might have started the two groups, are quickly reduced to nothing but slogans, and their former leaders are vilified for holding them back from the fray.”

Even the proposals that do come forth such as Spencer’s white only ethno state aren’t just bad ideas, but will never happen.  That of course assumes “white” will mean the same thing in the future as it does today – which means it won’t.  What are you left with?

A local community from which you and your neighbors will build an identity. Take everything you learn online and apply it.  Avoid repeating the mistakes of your “blue pill” self.  History is a great teacher and one that we must constantly come back to for lessons that have stood the test of time.

Our focus must be local.  You can’t address your neighbors worldview when his house is falling apart and he doesn’t know where the money is going to come from for his next mortgage payment.   Desperation is all around us, but often we are blissfully unaware of it.   We forget that the most eager “converts” are those whose lives were previously in shambles, yet now are starting to emerge from the slime and grind of daily life.

No reformation, societal overhaul, or prevention of the fall of what’s left of Western culture will take place until it transforms local communities.  Online movements are constantly prone to decay, and ours is no exception.  The Neo-Reactionists in our sphere may write as obtuse and high church like manner to keep out entryists and subversion, but they likely will be left behind in their own bubble never pushing the Overton window.

To believe in anything, you must see it impact you and those around you.   It is far better to live in happiness with your neighbors then to write in malice toward strangers on either coast.  The former will always be with you, while the latter you will never meet. Perhaps we can make the “change” Obama disingenuously never intended.

Are You A Red Pilled Addict To Schadenfreude?

Recently I stumbled across an older article entitled “Are Men Still Hunting?”.   The author while an SJW feminist laments that men aren’t the aggressors anymore when it comes to approaching women.  (She follows up here.)  I saw some comments and added a cordial one of my own.

What stood out were comments strewn about how women were reaping what they’ve sown because of feminism and great pleasure was expressed about it. Okay that’s true as well as bits about how approaching can be easily construed as sexual harassment these days.

An overall glance of said comments prompted a realization;  many of us are too busy reveling in womens laments and pain to care about doing anything to help.  All we have is schadenfreude – and it appears to be a serious addiction.  That’s only a few steps away from being a miser who loves miserly company.

Not surprisingly, it was the MGTOWS who here enjoying her lamentations the most. While one phase of the Red Pill is a justifiable anger and bitterness phase, I’m starting to notice a slew of men who don’t come out of it. Ever.

Is this all you have?

Instead of any meaningful self improvement and actually finding a girl they enjoy, their primary driving factor for happiness is the misery of women – feminists in particular.  They are addicted to schadenfreude.  This wasn’t quite the Red Pill you thought you swallowed.

Take for example a post I dug up off the MGTOW boards in which “MikeTOW” admits he enjoys when women are haunted by their bad decisions:

Maybe this makes me a sicko, but I get pleasure when women put themselves into predicaments.

My favorite is when a woman turns down every good man who pursues her only to throw herself at the man who is blatantly a scumbag. Then when the scumbag man mistreats her, she whines and cries about how “there are no good men out there” and “all men are jerks”. Instead of learning from her mistake, she blames men and then REPEATS THE CYCLE!

Back in my mangina days I would try to console those women and reassure these women that there are certainly good men out there. These days I don’t care. And in fact, I find it amusing.”

Okay, yea I get it.  I loathe tumblr feminism as well and do my fair share of blasting self-entitled harpies on RVF boards.  And yes, I do admit sometimes getting satisfaction seeing the worst offenders reap all of the venom they’ve sown – especially male feminist white knights.   The anger?  I understand feeling it the lies we were told as well as the women who rejected us for Chads and now are facing the consequences.

However, don’t you ever feel a sense of sadness for them?    While they’ve bought into and advocate for an ideology which will make them miserable – and those around them, I often desire to apply actual burn ointment to their 1st degree roasted souls.

Obviously, the differeing worldviews make most online dialogue with them pointless, fruitless, and not worthy of your time.   In spite of this when you come across posts like hers, try avoiding another, “haha bitch” type comment that burns as well as points out what feminism has wrought.

Instead maybe just try a semi-neutral heart felt internet hug.  Will another comment debunking feminism change their mind and undo years of influence under a feminist worldview? No.

Here’s a question I would put plainly to them without snark: “What do you really want?”  You’ll find most women do want to fall in love. Romance. Be swept off their feed by a studly chad.   The truth hurts, but it can be presented with chocolates rather then a spear to the stomach.  Honey for the flies instead of vinegar.

I find that when I’ve talked to feminists face-to-face, as well as women in general that are very discouraged with their dating prospect, an honest genuine heaping of advice can get past the normal “blockers” and at least onto the plate as food for thought.  When a critique is done with kindness, the openness can be shocking.  (Plus it helps that they know you have no romantic interest in them – in my case being married and all.)

The Effects of Misery

When women are miserable in particular, it deeply affects them and those around them. Perhaps they deserve it – especially the slut walkers – but do we look past what they deserve for a moment?

Being constantly in a state of war is exhausting – especially when the enemy is a never ending source of social media and blog posts that are filled with venom.  Some rad fems may deserve to be burned by the fire they spew, but is mercy ever an option? I’d like to believe so. That Nietzsche quote about gazing into the monster seems to apply here.

Perhaps I’m mellowing a bit, but at a certain point I’d like to see relations between men and women improve wihout some sort of Mad Max like collapse of society – even if those in question aren’t worthy.    The author in question might have better luck at a Friday Night Magic tournament where she is surrounded by lots of men and almost no women – so why not point it out?

We know many women who wish they were approached by men they would find attractive.  For many it won’t happen.  However, we can at least make suggestions to help them make the best of their chances and interactions without malice dripping from our fangs.     (Especially if we know them.)

Who knows, maybe finding a guy they fall in love with might bring them out of their stupor.  It has for many a woman. Maybe she and they can be one of them – certainly a good thing for culture and society.

Take A Break, Relax, Recover, and Come Back To The Fight

Internet Burnout From too much Politics

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

For the last two months prior to election day, Drudge was linking to various articles about how people were suffering from election induced anxiety, depression, and even sleep loss.  Facebook feeds were particularly active and potent regardless of what political bubble you are dwell in.

We all expected the end of the world before night, and it’s only gotten worse post-election for half of the voting public to cope with the election of Cthulu.  Detractors of Trump literally believe he’s Hitler, but then again, so is anyone to the right of Hillary.  The sky is literally falling and raining pepes.

My Facebook and Twitter blared with insane headlines that even often I thought were too exaggerated to be true.  Everything was apocalyptic in nature and possible destruction of our grand modern multi-cultural tolerant world, even though Rome didn’t fall in a day.

The scaremongering and dastardly vicious dangers strawmen that anyone else in the “opponent” group ensured that the personal was political.  Stories that were true and shocking – one example being Detroit having more Hillary votes then possible voters made my blood boil all that much more.

Internet Burnout From too much Politics
Take A Break You Deplorables

Post-election, all of the scoundrels and deplorables favorable to “God-Emperor Trump” were faced with families  endearing new crises that unfortunately had nothing to do with drug addled interventions,  sibling disputes, and crumbling marriages.  Call me ole fashioned, but I’m still shocked that people are avoiding family members because of their despicable politics.  Clearly,  those politicians will always be there for you, but your family won’t.

To put in perspective how bad the shattering has been just between husbands and wives, the annoying chat-box known as “The View” had a segment in which voting husbands for Trump was causing them to lose their tingles down there for their studly husbands.

Yes, apparently a difference in how you voted was causing the dreaded “deadbedroom” threads we read about.  Hammer that nail of sexual intimacy once more to the coffin.

“I think that the sex drive does die and, you know, we are building a wall around our vaginas,” she continued. “The guy [Trump] says it’s okay if he would grab a woman by her you-know-what, and women are either a 10 or a one, or this one’s fat, and you voted for that schmuck?”

“You voted for that? I’m not sleeping with you,” Behar said.

 “That’s what’s happening,” Sunny Hostin agreed.

Yep, you read that right.  Some people have “marriages” that are truly that dysfunctional and the sex tips in Glamour aren’t possible now.   I don’t think adultery/cheating is a good thing, but in today’s world of fleeting love, Tinder and all sorts of other Apps of debauchery are available to take care of their boners if those shrews won’t.

But to get back on track, its all too damn much – and that’s just regarding two of the stories that stood out to me the most after being bombarded with one piece of insanity ranging from true to greatly exaggerated after the other. Every story I come across is in all caps, screaming with a bullhorn for my attention – and they all make the world seem like its getting worse after I glance at the headlines.

Surely, I like the rest of you am taking crazy pills, or the world, society, and the culture around us is surely doomed and primed to implode – on a daily basis.    Even in our own circles, everything is almost always pessimistic.  Feminists are getting more power, safe spaces are smothering meaningful conversation, and we are constantly having to explain to shocked observers, friends, and families that we aren’t actually all those bad ist and isms they keep hearing we are – this is all despite Trumps win which is supposed to greatly move the Overton window

  • I’ve noticed how the subject of “Facts” has become extremely subjective. I still don’t know exactly how much Planned Parenthood spends on abortion via Federal Funding because every inquiry on it uses different methods to calculate the statistics.  In a world of unlimited data, we can’t see past a hazy cloud of numbers on all sides.
  •   Reliable sources all depend on what side you are on.
  • Vicious opinionated partial journalism isn’t contrary to the very nature of being a journalist because Trump is the new Hitler.   Woodward is jaded and Bernstein is weeping.  The very journalists and publications shrieking about fake news are spouting it nonstop with nary a noticeable correction in mind because the damage has been done.
  •    Fake news is now completely up to shadowy corporate internet giants that are deliberately as vague as possible as to how much of your information they are sharing with the government without warrant – and that’s if they haven’t been hit with a gag order preventing them from even talking about it.

Well it’s time to take  a damned break for a few days.  As Davis Aurini put it in one article, “Let God Sort It Out.” We hear about how the Red Pill – whatever that even means these days – induces a massive overload of the realization that the world is a dark place, life is VERY unfair, and most of what you can supposedly can control actually can’t be.  Reality ends up being made up of dark and mysterious forces beyond our control.  Your critics will always be there slandering, lying, and misrepresenting you and what you stand for.

What the hell can we actually do about any of this?

Ragequit life?  Not quite.  Take a brief glance back in history for why you need a respite from the toils of cultural and political dogfighting.   As Quintus Curtius – the resident scholar, historian and philosopher of the manosphere points out, sometimes all you need is a retreat to allow you to come back with new ideas for the battlefield.

“Sometimes being away from the fray and the fracases of life can allow us to compose our thoughts and regenerate our spirits.  This has the effect of spurring the creative soul on to higher amplitudes of output.  We forget just how distracting it is for the mind to be bombarded with invasive stimuli; and while periods of withdrawal from the fray should not be permanent, they can, in the right doses, provide just that right proportion of flint and steel to spark great works.”

Believe it or not, wisdom from the life of Machiavelli can be applied to this situation when he was forced to take a break from the politics of the day.   That lesson can be examined at the link previously mentioned.

Besides plan, scheme, and demand answers; nothing in the immediate sense.  Which of course represents a knee jerk reaction of feeling like you’ve accomplished no results because everything is measured in the short term – how we feel right now – instead of any kind of long term vision.

Let’s dip our heads into the sand for the moment.  Take a step back. We know what’s going on – we just aren’t going to let it break us.  Instead we will make love to our women, play with our kids,  drink and be merry with our friends, and take those nature hikes.  Twitter can wait.  A more disturbing and terrible story about the madness of our college campuses will be there tomorrow.

You will survive.

Just make sure you give yourself the breathing room and cultural /social media detox withdrawal to allow yourself to thrive when the world is refusing to budge your way.  Take a break, and then come back for another at-bat.

 

Two ways to deal with the raging emotions of your pregnant wife.

What happens to your old hobbies? They vanish as you and your spouse both envision strangling each other – but don’t.

My pregnant wife in her natural habitat. Ice cream. Facebook. And not directing emotional rages toward me.
My pregnant wife in her natural habitat. Ice cream. Facebook. And not directing emotional rages toward me.

The above picture is of my wife in her natural habitat – the bath.  To pacify her in this time of emotional tyranny, I gave her ice cream and let her chow down right out of the container.  I even promised not to make fun of her for it – a promise I’ve somewhat kept.     She even had her phone to scroll through Facebook.

I used this precious and rare time to play my current favorite game – Fallout 4 – modded because I have joined the PC master race.  Kid in a candystore, but this was one of my final pieces.

Welcome to marriage – pregnancy stage. Prepare yourself gentlemen.

My problem isn’t one that most men complain of – a lack of sex.  We average sex twice a day.  It’s my pride, the way our fights escalate, the hobbies I don’t want to give up, and the fact that I keep forgetting my wife is my wife – pregnant and not someone you can reason with.  Speaking in generalities, women respond to emotions and men to logic – though I’m seeing alot more emotional men these days.  I keep forgetting this.

Because I don’t want to be a complete loser, I’m trying to develop more productive hobbies – which does suck. I miss my video games, and I resent the amount of time I’ve been forced to give up playing them – regardless of how “mature” it makes me.

When I get home from work, I want to be lazy. I suppose now that I am a father with one son and another on the way, it is time to be responsible and look into new hobbies that my kids will share with me once they get a bit older.

That video game, I want to play it, without condemnation, nagging, or weird bouts of jealousy that I can drink alcohol and she can’t.  To this end, I am in her crosshairs – if she can’t have fun, I can’t either.  Now this is illogical, wrong, and plain out vicious, but that doesn’t matter.  She’s pregnant and emotional.

My lovely nympho wife will nag me about productivity – which is escalated depending on how bad her pregnancy hormones are that day. Alas, it has me writing more.  While I’ve sacrificed my prized video game time, my sex life is that of envy – we average twice a day with passionate bouts of love.

Today, I bring to you the subject of surviving your first year of marriage with a pregnant wife.   If you are with a women who is pregnant, throw out everything you know about her before she decided to carry your offspring.  Prepare for hell on emotional wheels of wrath.

Her raging, vicious, and unpredictable moodswings are now your problem.  She may start crying randomly, and by the end of it taking swings at you because of her rantings about her parents or yours. I’m not even referring to the verbal wrath that you will incur in the process – that’s just a bonus.   So what do you do?

You can’t reason with the beast. You can’t argue with it.

But you can pacify it.  As a man, it’s one of the most important tools you can learn to use when you have a family.
Behold, I give to you my fellow men, a weapon with which to master her emotions in their raw and uncontrollable state (1); the manly, yet smooth,  alluring, and sexual hug.

Now I’m a proud and stubborn man, and when my wife has either hit me or attacked me in the most vicious way with perfectly chosen words to inflict the most damage to my sanity, I don’t want to hug her.  (In fact I want to hit her back after she’s hit me.)  Again, muh pride.

Shockingly, I swore I would never allow a woman to do this to me.  Yet as she is my wife and the mother of my children, my tolerance for BS has gone up – because I love her.  Love changes things. It really does.  I am a proponent of the manosphere, but my wife is my wife, not just another plate.  (Also, dread game is a NO when your wife is pregnant, plus my wife is already very jealous and will beat up other women for looking at me wrong. )

I want to fight back with the nastiest words in my arsenal possible to make her feel the same anguish. “Hurts doesn’t it?”

Indeed it does, especially when she’s pregnant.  Of course, she will remember those fights far into the future and berate you later with, “You said these terrible things to me when I was pregnant,” regardless of any words of war directed at you, the suffering father.

Women fight very well with words, a favor I can return. But should I?  Should a pregnant women hear anything anything else that will make her emotions scream?  Stress is also an issue and it can cause miscarriages.  My pride though.  It’s very angry and upset.  It’s been unjustly wounded. Yet again, I swallow it, or at least I should.

Hug her tight – from behind and then move to the front. Slowly massage her shoulders and lower back.  Get her calmed down. Physical touch will do what the most logical of words will not.  Kiss her neck, suck on her earlobe a bit. Then notice what starts to happen.  Her face changes.

Your other weapon (2) : Angry frustrated pent up sex.  

When women are pregnant, their raging hormones need to be released. They are bottled up like a kid holding his breath. Sexist sounding or not, the truth is the truth.   So take control of the situation and arouse your wife in the process.

Those raging hormones? Well, release them. Direct them toward the bed. Or couch. Or bathroom.

If your wife already has a high sex drive, pregnancy will GREATLY escalate it.  So grab  her pants, and drop them down.  Get aggressive. Wrestle with her in that bed. Or on the floor.  Your video games may suffer, but your sex life will rise to new hard peaks.

So many of our fights could have been de-escalated, but since I was mad at her from her either hitting me or trashing me, I didn’t want to have sex with her – I was too livid. I had too much pride.   A simple hug and escalation to sex could have solved it.

I must admit, she’s even told me to hug her and hold her tight – and also to pull her pants down when we are fighting. In this, me and her are different.   My anger at that moment, I must swallow.   She doesn’t need words of logic about why she is being an unreasonable bitch -something she knows as well.  She needs a hug and to be led to the bedroom.

Never underestimate the power of sex.

Learn from me, swallow your anger at that moment, and pound it out deep.  Never has there been a more perfect time for a spanking in that love making. She will love you, and you will love her.

I wish you luck gentlemen.

For further advice on many at matter to do with marriage, I highly suggest TheFamilyAlpha and AverageMarriedDad, each with their own kind of approach.

#RaceTogether And Have Your Reputation Destroyed

Prepare Your Smartphones For War

#RaceTogether is a minefield filled with short-tempered caffeine deprived customers who consider the concept of patience to be hate-speech rather then a virtue.   Then throw in some barbed wired and machine gun nests known as the smart-phone.

Every one has a smart phone these days that can record any conversation – a blessing and a curse.   It’s a foregone conclusion that any actual honest dialogue can take place between groups of extremely racially sensitive people.   Your words are a tweet away from being broadcast to the dark corners of tumblr dwelling other-kins and SJWs who haven’t forget that people with dissenting opinions are actual humans.   Davis Aurini makes a good point about this:

That is just the obvious hindrance.  The actual primary problem is that people view this entire idea as less of a conversation and more of a, “I’m mad at your kind of people for these reasons,” lecture.   Actual dialogue on a subject so controversial can’t take place in any public setting as you could lose your job.

In fact, it doesn’t actually matter if you are what society considers to be a “racist” or any one of the “ists” these days.   Once accused in the public eye – or rather the social media feed – you are guilty until proven innocent which means you are forever guilty on a basic Google search.

Caffeine Deprived Intruders Are On Their Way.
Caffeine Deprived Intruders Are On Their Way.

The Poor Baristas…

Let’s think about the Baristas for just a second.  Not only does #RaceTogether fulfill that old joke about SJWs at liberal arts colleges becoming Baristas, it adds a particular new explosive compound for angry uptight customers to get free beverages and add further misery to the idea of “customer service.”

Perhaps Schultz has been preparing his guinea pigs for these kinds of experiments all along and actually intends to scare off some of his already well-off liberal white types who spend 3k+ on Starbucks a year.  After all, how many flak barrages intended to induce white self-loathing can these types endure?

Schultz’s idea will create friendly fire situations and the casualties will be his own fellow ideologues.   Think about it, how many of the intended targets – backwater redneck conservative stereotypes – actually frequent Starbucks who aren’t actively boycotting it?  That was a rhetorical question.

Despite the backlash and drubbing coming from various sides of the spectrum , some of the mainstream media consider this a great idea. Time Magazine actually proclaimed #RaceTogether as a “brilliant” and “bold move” rather then a kamikaze mission in which allies will have their eco friendly cars sunk.   No, this doesn’t make me happy, it makes me sad.

What about the dialogue?

An honest conversation about race will only occur (1) between friends & family with liquor involved and the smartphones put away and (2) when people stop seeing every last damn thing through a racial lens – namely SJWs and many on the left who base their entire identity off race rather then the actual person.

Remember, vast generalizations and labels of people based on their race, ethnicity, and gender are perfectly acceptable as long as it’s the right people.    Being judged based on who you are is just too tiresome and isn’t convenient for being a part of the continual victim club.

Why Feminism Won’t Liberate Men Sexually

I had the fortune of finding an article posted about 4 weeks ago on “We Hunted The Mammoth” in which the sites owner and noted male feminist – David Futrelle – promoted an article on The New Statesmen about how liberating men sexually would bring about an end to the problems women face concerning sexism.

Liberation usually sounds like a phenomenal idea.  Well, what kind of liberation is the the author – a dominatrix by trade named Margaret Corvid  – talking about?

Let’s get started.  There are plenty of anticipated attacks on MRA’s, the manosphere, and the ever present Patriarchy.   Before we go any further, she makes a very important point about feminism and how it relates to men.

“As feminists, we rightfully put the interests of women first, and we are skeptical of ostensibly feminist arguments that appeal to men’s interests.”

Straight from the horses mouth.  It’s statements like this that should convince anyone with a pair of testicles that any men’s issues the feminist movement claims to advocate for are at most lip service.   When it comes to the lip service, she barely even does that with her suggested feminist skepticism of anything that appeals to “men’s interests.”

The sexual liberation she talks about later will specifically not appeal to the interest of most men in the general population.  Throughout this piece she implies, but never explicit states this idea that men should be vulnerable during sex.   However, the kind of vulnerability she refers to is that of men being dominated or “penetrated”.

“He is allowed to penetrate, but not to be penetrated; to control, but not to surrender; to enjoy the grace, sensuality, and sex appeal of a woman, but never to wish to express these traits himself.”

 

Mommy Time.

 

Okay, fine.  What disturbs me is that she continually suggests that men who don’t enjoy or being dominated are somehow suppressing their full sexuality.   Perhaps its not fear preventing an embrace of this kind of sexuality,  but rather a majority of men who really don’t want anything put up their ass.

Even now, what feminism asks of men – that they be conscious of their privilege and respect the agency of women – can lead them to truly satisfying intimate relationships.

Notice how she mentions that being aware of privilege and “respecting the agency of women” whatever that actually means and/or exactly how one goes about that somehow equates to satisfying intimate relationships. 

Think about that.  Since when has checking, being aware, and acknowledging, one’s privilege automatically translated to successful intimacy in relationships?  Acknowledging your male privilege isn’t going to get your wife or girl-friend to put out more.  It’s not going to land you any dates.

In fact, I would suggest that “privileged” checking in front of women for well intentioned reasons of modern SJWs communicate a lack of confidence and assertiveness.   It is the equivalent of undermining yourself – which essentially destroys your chances of landing that date.

Later she makes a similar claim in the ending to this piece:

“For men, a true feminism offers liberation and sexual fulfillment, through the very process of coming to a fuller understanding of their privileges, and burdens, under patriarchy. “

Quite an assumption.  Again, how?  Having a full and thorough understanding of your burdens doesn’t translate to liberation and/or sexual fulfillment.

“We may not be able to reach the most hateful misogynists, but feminists must directly attack the false ideology of men’s rights. We must offer a real answer for men consumed by anxiety, and especially those who feel a sense of sexual frustration.

Yet again, I don’t think the answer to sexual frustration for many men is being dominated and/or having things shoved up their ass.    Being dominated by a dominatrix might appeal to a small segment of the male population, but what about the rest of us?

“It is feminism that offers men the chance at a sexually fulfilling life. When rape culture is extinguished, when patriarchy subsides, all genders can realize their full sexual expression in safety.”

Checking our privilege and patriarchal burdens doesn’t seem to give us a clear picture and game-plan for improving our sex lives if it doesn’t involve anal penetration by a foreign object.  Being forced to rain in our “toxic masculinity” in concern to our sexuality as feminism demands also doesn’t seem to sound like a fulfilling proposition.

I’ll make a brave and shocking assertion; a fulfilling sex life for men can’t be achieved by concentrating specifically on the issues of women and ignoring those of men which today’s radical feminists seem to do quite often.

 

 

 

My Brutal Self-Reflection

I’m a fortunate son.

Self-reflection is often something we neglect – or perhaps I simply avoid. I’d like to give a shoutout to DCLlive for his post, “Don’t Lose Your Identity”, that got me reflecting honestly about where I am at in my own life after discovering the manosphere and principles of TRP.    If I am brutally honest, I feel like a pampered failure who has squandered his inheritance in a pig’s snout.

My pride hurts.  While other people I know might believe I’ve got it together, I know deep-down that I don’t.

Change is often something that must come directly from within.  Family, friends, and worldview can help prod me along, but ultimately I must have the drive and ambition to lead the charge within myself. Unfortunately, I really don’t.

I discovered the manosphere a bit over 6 months ago and it’s most certainly had an effect on my life.  I’ve gotten laid more, become much better at talking to girls, and  have gotten them coming to me – woman want me and that’s not an egocentric statement.

I’ve gained a better understanding of attaining the kind of relationship I want,  started to understand what becoming a man requires,  the importance of developing and improving myself, and making use of my time – thanks to being introduced to “Minimalism” through Captain Capitalism and one of his books, “Enjoy The Decline.”   Things are looking up.   They also are bugging me though.

The more and more I think about it, I realize I’ve wasted alot of the time of my early 20s.   I managed to get out on my own for a year and rent an apartment with my friends. Even though it was a mistake, I learned a lot.  I then took a few years off school, but didn’t do much besides work.

I’m one of those lucky individuals who has free tuition because my father works at the school. (I have no debt.)  That being said, I still have squandered the time, barely made an attempt to get anything more than passing grades, and essentially have been fooling around while living in my parents basement.  Even the time I dedicate to homework I waste playing games, watching movies, ect.

I can pick the time and days I work because of my job at my school and I can literally work it around my class schedule.   Even then, I choose not to work nearly as much as I should.   I essentially have no bills, besides a phone bill and gas as my Dad has been covering my car insurance and even currently the phone bill.

How’s that for independence?

It scares me.   I don’t want to be one of those losers going into their 30s who really is still dependent on their parents.

Even when I graduate from college, which appears to be the next semester, I’ll have turned 27 in October.  I don’t even know what I will do with my degree, besides be happy that it was free.  I am already ashamed of the fact it will have taken me that long to graduate, besides the fact that I’ve been able to take alot of non-related degree classes allowing me to really enjoy my college experience.

Even most of my family makes comments about how long it has taken me and my uncle asks me what I plan to do when I get done with it all.  I honestly don’t have a good answer to give him. This also scares me.  What am I actually going to do for a career? I’m still not sure at this point.

I know I should acquire as many skills as I can at this point, but I can’t motivate myself to form any kind of ambition, despite things being handed to me on a plate.    I’ve actually attempted to learn some internet coding languages, but I can’t seem to force myself past the initial steps.  This even occurs when I try to learn basic video editing – I get too lazy to bother following through.

How can I actually allow myself to blow this kind of opportunity?

I barely bother to apply myself with my homework, and as I type this, I’m mightily behind in a Spanish class this semester I’ve barely applied myself to – despite actually wanting to learn Spanish.

Being brutally honest with myself, I’ve come to this conclusion: I’ve become a nasty internet cliche of everything I don’t want to be.

I need to get my shit together.  Change starts from within.  I want to become a real man with real responsibility – actually becoming mature. Can I motivate myself to do that? I hope to God that I can.

It’s time for me to develop a motivation mindset.