Give Thanks to the Father’s Who Are There Every Day.

You as a Father matter.

One thing I’ve noticed about being a father is a lot of what you do is often not noticed- at least till much later.  Not many people see the small things, and sometimes they end up seeing the mistakes and area’s where you can improve.

Often it feels like a grinding task that is quite underappreciated. I suppose mother’s feel the same – though people care much more.

That said, Thank You, to all the father’s out there who are working their asses off trying to support their families.  Yes, no one may notice, but us fellow fathers do.

Thank you to all the father’s who devote as much time as they possibly can to their kids and to raising them as best they can.

Thank you for just being there, even when everything seems to conspire against you doing just that – for those of you who are divorced, single, and barely getting any time with your kids via court order. We know you are not a dead beat.

Thank you for the time, resources, encouragement, lessons, and memories you’ve invested  in your son’s and daughters present and future. Other people may not see. There likely won’t be any viral social media posts or noteworthy news articles posted about it.

However, your kids and your inner circle will know.

We work hard and expend all of our energy for the sake and love of our  children, families and close friends.  Perhaps no one will give us the appreciation we really deserve, but the legacy you help build matters far more. Sometimes I feel like all around me can never really see how much I am actually doing, but merely point out what I’m not or simply ignore it.

It’s at these moments when depression is trying to sneak it’s way in that I take a deep breath.  I remember to be thankful for my family, what I’ve been able to do, and the time period I’ve been born into and contemplate on how there’s never been a better time to be alive.

Don’t look toward a hostile culture and society that hates and vivifies you for satisfaction, admiration, or laudable laurels to rest on your head.  You may never be viewed by them as anymore than a sperm donor and a cog to keep working and making money till you drop. Look toward your family, friends, and members of communities who know YOU are, what you going through, all you are putting on the table, and the sacrifices that you make.

You as a father matter.

I’m sure you know the stats about the lives of children without fathers and how they are more prone to everything from crime and depression to having much less of a chance to get a good education and be successful in life.  The consequences for children without fathers in their lives can be severe – if only society really cared about that.

Thank you for all you do to try to give your kids the best lives you can. Keep on at it and slowly remove those from your lives who simply wish to undermine, downplay, and ignore what you do.  Life is short. Spend it with the people you love and your time with those who are worthy of it.

 

A Peek Into My Ancestry

After much anticipation, my DNA results came back via an AncestryDna.com test me and my wife both took about 5 weeks ago.  My wife turned out to be 83% British or something like that.  She was surprised in that she thought her maiden was name was German – which apparently it was not.

For those of you “ist” and “ism” bigots that don’t know I’m half-Armenian on my mother’s side and a mixture of European on my fathers.  I was actually expecting some sort of Middle Eastern mixed in due to Armenia’s geographic location and it’s history of invaders, conquest, and overall movements of demographics in the last 2000 years there.

What I didn’t expect was some of these other results.

I knew of the English on my dad’s side, but the Irish/Scots/Welsh and the Southern European and Iberian were surprising. Obviously, the European Jewish part surprised me.

Justin Timberlake may be a man of the woods, but I’m a man of antiquity and the high middle ages.  I may just now be a walking poster boy for Diversity.  The Tech industry needs to hire me now, though I can’t promise my worldview will be the same.

Back to a serious note.  It’s enjoyable and instructive to know where your ancestors came from, but who am I really? We have these weird awkward conversations about “racial” and ethnic awareness with the types of people you really don’t want to have those conversations/awareness with if you like your job and need to pay your mortgage.

But even these same people are in a dire boat in the modern digital age of loneliness. Their identities exist in a Western old vacuum that can’t be replicated anywhere else.  Obviously, this is specifically true of the political and sociological identities people have inserted themselves into, often in the most tribal ways – American politics for instance.

What these people don’t have is any real identity not tied to that.  For instance, if some “African American” – a crappy term – goes over to Ghana, how much are they really going to have with Ghanans?  What about Nigeria, Egypt, Chad, or Ethiopia?

They don’t know if they are even from the same tribe, group, or nation – which they likely aren’t.  For all they know, they were some of the slaves that the Ghanans took and sold to the entire world.  They don’t speak the same language – that’s a big deal.

The cultural mannerisms, traits, and norms are entirely different.  They may even call you a slur which means white. If you don’t speak the same language, you’ve lost a lot of what might make you even remotely “similar” to them, and don’t be surprised when they accuse you of “Cultural appropriation”.

You may discover you’re ancestors were slavers, slaves, conquerors, or great empire builders.  It’s a bit of a mixed bag in today’s modern oppression culture where everyone wants more oppression cards to play.

All that said, I get it.  Wouldn’t you do the same thing? Modern life in the digital 21st century has been stripped to its bare parts by globalism and people’s identities, cultures, and traditions have been shattered.   However, people still need an identity.  They need to find a reason, purpose, and motivation to live and build a legacy.

Take me for instance. I’m proud to be half Armenian and the various other mix of ethnicities.  However, how much do I have in common with them? If I went back to Armenia right now, would I be able to say that I have a similar life with similar situations, standard of living, and a shared plight and condition?

I don’t think I could.  I’m not in a country where it’s borders are filled with rocket, mortar, and machine-gun fire over disputed land on a frequent basis.  Armenia could very well be overwhelmed by Azerbaijan if a war broke out and the country could be decimated for generations.

Yes, I am a descendant of Armenian survivors, but I don’t speak the language, know just a few foods, and only rarely have been to the Armenian Church – the center of culture – with the exception of funerals.   My sons won’t have an Armenian identity or that of any other ethnicity.  They will likely be a product of American midwest culture.

Of course, I want them to know where they come from, but where they are going is a foundation that has to be built. So many of the identities that people cling to today are built on shallow ground and foundations that will inevitably shatter.

The past is one source that contributes toward an identity, but it can’t be the only one. Look to the communities and the people that surround you now – that is part of your culture. You can influence how it’s shaped, or you can build identities based off “opposition” to the tribe you don’t like.

Don’t be surprised though when you have nothing to live for once that tribe is shattered.

P.S.  If you are wondering what someone with the above mix looks like here’s n example of what I look like with a beard. It’s not full yet.

Will It Be Possible For Our Kids To Find A Spouse?

Picture is from The Spruce.

Pandora’s Sexual Box

Rod Dreher may be labeled a cuckservative on many an occasion, but I find his blog at the American Conservative to be quite relevant to the situation of many Christians and those shocked liberals who wonder how such an “immoral” man like Trump could have been elected president.

He makes the following point in a post about the accusations swirling around G.H.W. Bush and Weiseltier and how loose the definition of sexual assault is and what it means for our kids when they enter the dating market in their futures.

“In this climate, I can well imagine that people are scared to death to show the slightest romantic interest in anybody in the workplace, for fear that they’ll be accused of “sexual assault.” How are people supposed to meet each other for normal human courtship, then? I ask this as the father of two sons and a daughter. I don’t want these kids to grow into adults who sexually harass or who are sexually harassed. But I also worry about false accusations that could ruin them professionally and personally. If you aren’t worried about this too, you aren’t paying attention.”

(Yes, I do actually enjoy reading Rod and I think the Benedict Option is a worthy alternative.)

While the left has been annihilating any of the Christian moral foundations to American law and culture, they haven’t come up with any coherent worldview to indoctrinate the populace and the “identity” based alternatives they offer have caused a backlash from people who don’t want to turn the other cheek.

In fact, they don’t even care about being Christian.  It’s a nominal thing for them just like it is for those Muslims who were born into it, but prefer life in the West with booze, drugs, and fast sex.  They have no “faith” to hold them back to the moral high ground.

Indeed, a wake-up call for those who were convinced that the less “religious” people became, the more “progressive” and educated they would become.  I suppose Trump’s election are making a few on the left quite woke.

Now remember, when prudish backward bigoted Christians pointed out the Pandora’s box that would be unleashed with unbridled and encouraged sexual degeneracy, they were dismissed, ridiculed, and of course labeled.

Now that the box is open and the Titans are wreaking havoc without restraint.   Women, like men,  were encouraged by feminists to engage in sexual deviancy and meaningless hook-ups in a culture and system that still retained the foundations and some men influenced by the Christian moral framework.

That’s gone. Tinder is here, and everyone is meat.

Those of us who don’t lie to ourselves know that men and women respond to sex differently and that women regret one night-stand far more than men.   Obviously sex being more emotional for women and physical for men is misogyny.

Well, now the cultural identity left is forced to scramble to rectify the new imbalances created when they opened Pandora’s box.   That includes the “Dear Colleague” letter on Title IX,  an ungodly obsession with “sexual assault”, the constant attacks on “toxic masculinity”, demonizing of any male spaces, and an overall attempt to make men pay – in anyway possible – for pumping and dumping.

It has already turned the dating scene for many men – and women – into a nightmare.  High insane unreasonable standards are thrust into normalcy.  Blue collar men are thrown out of pool right away and single mothers and divorced women in their late 30s to early 40s are treated as potential booty calls at most.

The Depressing World Our Children Will Inherit

I try to avoid a pessimistic mindset when it comes to the future, but in this situation and circumstance the current reality seems to be growing worse.   Me and my wife have two young infant sons.

What will the dating world look like for them when they go out and try to find a woman worthy of marriage?  (Which means definitely not in the workplace anymore.)

As their Father, I will impart into them all of the “Red Pill” knowledge and wisdom I’ve accrued – admittedly not that much compared to better men out there. However, I fear they will be punished for their realistic attitudes, noble intentions, and their eventual ascent into manhood.

Rod makes a good point as to the kind of world our kids are going to enter when it comes to trying to find a spouse.  I too am wondering just how far this insanity is going to go – on top of the increased hatred of men that my sons are certain to experience in a bleak future.

If they go through a similar “prodigal son” phase as I did, will it cost them everything?  Will I have to tell them to video record their encounters just in case they have bad judgement?

If “affirmative” consent is being seriously considered – which it has via implementation as law in places like California, what will that mean when my sons engage in actual flirting, mannerisms, and “game” that makes women actually want to talk to them, date them, etc?  Will asking a girl out immediately equate to “sexual harassment”?

Before I met my wife, I would go to bars with friends.  I recall one time where a semi-drunk girl came up to me and started grinding on my body a bit as I was standing with my back turned to her. She also kissed my neck.  She gave me that “Ewww” vibe.

I didn’t see her as attractive and I wasn’t looking for an easy bang/getting laid that night – more of a guys night out – so I nicely and gently pushed her away and went to the other side of the bar. I wasn’t harsh about it, but it took a bit of effort to claw her off me so to speak.

I didn’t give her permission. I certainly wasn’t “inviting” it with my demeanor and behavior at the time. Was it sexual harassment or even sexual assault?  If you accept the feminist concept of it, then you bet your ass it is.  Should I post #MeToo and try to find out who this girl is shame her, get her fired from her job, etc?  Apparently so.

Rod links to a series of tweets by Cathy Young who makes some astute points on what we are unleashing:

On the other end, I’ve done similar things. I’m a firm believer in physical touch and slow escalation when mingling out in public – granted touching ones arm, shoulder, etc. If a girl didn’t like it, they usually moved away from me or in the very rare case would tell me not to touch them. That was the end of it.

So it comes down to that “permission” concept. The sexual revolution and it’s current sense of how any kind of sexual anything goes doesn’t seem to reconcile with how sex and human interaction works. Yet the irrational idea of “affirmative consent” is making its way out of colleges and into law.

It used to be a given that if you were with someone, even married to them, usually you didn’t need “permission” to initiate affection with them. Now this is under scrutiny, if not direct assault.

My wife doesn’t get “affirmative consent” from me when she wakes me up in the middle of the night when she’s feeling a sudden burst of passion. Sometimes I go with it, sometimes I end up pushing her off – both often in a semi sleep state which she tells me about in the morning. (In my defense, I have a high sex drive, but wifes is even higher.)

By the logic coming from these people on “sexual harassment/assault” every couple must be doing it to each other every day.  Sometimes I’m tired and I don’t feel like having sex, but I oblige my wife who desires the release.  Again feminists will find it border line rapey – diminishing the true horror the concept should incur within us.

That leaves us in a place where anyone scorned has massive power. Eventually it will go overboard the Salem Witch Trials and have a stop put to it. Thing is, how many relationships and people will be utterly ruined before that happens?  The tally is rising in the moral paragon of Hollywood and media who lectured us about our bigoted misogyny and these shitlists of the accused are coming out all over.

We let this sexual “freedom” out of the bottle, but we never did examine those implicit parameters which guided it prior. We assumed the nature of the beast would be enjoyed in the same way it was before. Now people are finding out everything has to be “set in stone” to the point of killing how humans sexuality and romance actually occurs.

Now we are in for a turbulent unpredictable future – something that doesn’t bode well for allowing a society to remain stable.

Learning From the Abuse and Death of Jaxon “Jax” Burnette

Jax Burnette

“If the sound of happy children is grating on your ears, I don’t think it’s the children who need to be adjusted.”
― Stefan Molyneux

They say a picture shows a thousand words and the picture below certainly does when it comes to the horrifying tragedy that is child abuse.

Jaxon “Jax” James Burnette

The death of Jaxon”Jax” Burnette was one of those horrid incidents that transcends much of the current political and cultural climate.  People really – and rightfully so – think child abuse is horrible.  People were worked up.  Groups were created dedicated to getting justice for Jax.  So to that that end Facebook groups, comment sections, and all the rest shrieked in anger.

After that it died out – with a few shrieks here and there.  So in this aftermath we need to do some serious adult talk time among ourselves and ask, “What have we learned?”

Probably not much.  In fact, we will probably see this same story again, people will express their noble outrage, and then it is back to the grind. (I understand, I have a life as well.)

If there’s anything I’ve realized over the last few years, it’s that the desire to burn someone at the stake or throw tomatoes at the criminal in stocks has never gone away – regardless of how educated, enlightened, or progressive we have gotten.

We have this ravenous unquenchable desire – almost on the level that fuels our sex, survival, and hunger drives – to be able to point at “villains” and in the process allow us to feel better about ourselves.

“At least I’m not like that guy!”

We need to shame, pass judgement, and feel above them.  Now in the case of Jaxon, those of us who aren’t abusing children are better than those who are not – at least on a moral level. However if we aren’t careful, we could easily be brought down low to their level.  Most people don’t like the idea of that, so they remain perched in their high moral ivory towers.

They writhe with righteous anger and indignation, call for the abusive parents to be taken out an shot, and spout about how shocked they are that something this terrible could happen.  Almost reminds you of how people change their Facebook profile to flag stripes of whatever country suffered yet another terrorist attack. Then they forget all about it.

It should make you question how much they actually care vs how much they wish to be perceived as people who do in their contrived sermons of indignation.  A dirty little secret is that most people don’t truly care.

 

The Mob Isn’t Really Interested in Preventing Child Abuse

The mob – righteous this time in their outrage – entirely missed the underlying factors which created the situations that led to the horrible tragedy that happened to Jax.  No one wants to attempt to understand what was happening to his parents because they fear it will be misconstrued as excusing their vile behavior.

Most of the tips, hotlines, and advice out there are for AFTER-THE-FACT instead of focusing on early stages. It’s similar on how always focus on “healing” the patient, but never on the preventative care to help avoid the injuries, diseases, or conditions in the first place.

Raising awareness about child abuse is useless if we aren’t doing “real talk” with people close to us who have young kids as well.  Because of the danger of social media shame mobs that could cost you your job and future prospects, no one who is about to snap from the pressure and lack of sleep will reach out for advice.

They don’t want to be shamed, nor admit that it’s much harder then they EVER thought it would be or that they had those horrid thoughts in moments of sleep deprived anguish.  If we can’t talk about it without the worry of someone reporting them to CPS, then many of these stories will repeat.

Something I’m now just finding out is that no matter what you do, kids still cry – especially infants and toddlers. If you’ve done everything possible, just let them be.  You aren’t a bad parent.   Instead of trying to be super hero parents, we need to encourage those around us to take a step back when stressed. If you have to put your screaming infant in a car seat in the bathroom for 15 minutes and turn the fan on, so be it.

That stepping back is key to stopping yourself from starting down the dark path to child abuse. Preventing yourself from getting to that path can’t be understated. Just like in Fargo, you can avoid that final woodchipper death by never getting in bed with devious criminals in the first place.

 

The Tragedies

When our second son Nehemiah was born, the hospital made us watch 3 videos about proper care for your infant before my wife could be released. One thing that came up was the case of Jaxon “Jax” Burnette

In conversation about it, a nurse told us that Missouri – where our second son was born when we lived there – had the most incidents of child abuse.  Sure enough in 2013 alone, there were over 61,000 reported cases in Missouri of which 31 died.  Most of the children were all under 4 years old – which is the stage where the most work, patience, and energy is required by parents.

(Note this is not a dig at “Fly-over country” or anyone from the South in particular.  The child abuse epidemic is widespread.) 

Dig back and harrowing stories pop up. Tons of other cases of shocking child abuse.  I’m not talking about spanking a tantrum raging 5 year old or a mother slapping a disrespectful teen, I’m referring to REAL child abuse. Story after story. Some of the ones listed below were the ones that stood out most to me.

  • A 10 year old girl down to 32 pounds, locked into a closet wallowing in her own excrement in a modern day vicious twist on Cinderella. In contrast,  her two sisters were well fed and cared for.
  • A mom beats her 17 month old girl to death and tries to pass it off as death from a spider bite. The terrible bruises around the neck, face, and the rest of the body would undermine her story to the point the police chief said it looked the girl had been in a car accident.
  • In Springfield MO – where me and my wife currently live – a 7 year old boy and 2 year old girl were starved, beaten, tied to chairs, and thrown down stairs. “The toddler was so malnourished, hair was falling out. She had scratches and cuts all over her body. Her feet swollen causing her toes to turn blue.”    How did it get that far?
  • A 37 year old woman sodomizes and rapes a two old boy, while having her boyfriend video tape it.  Obviously this goes way beyond physical child abuse.  The boy will be scarred deeply for life.
  • A 17 year old babysitter burned a 8 month old baby girl with a curling iron. Blisters were on her head, bottom of her feet, and all over her legs. To top it off, the babysitter then said the mom burned the baby girl further with the iron to shut her up.

What do all these cases have in common when you read through them?  How did they ever get to this point? 

“SCREW CHILDREN! That’s the mantra of the world. Instead of burying them with a national debt, shoving them in shitty schools, drugging them if they don’t comply, hitting them, yelling at them, indoctrinating them with religion and statism and patriotism and military worship, what if we just did what was right for them? The whole world is built on “screw children”, and if we changed that, this would be an alien planet to us.” – Stefan Molyneux

A lack of patience, self control, and selfishness.  

Unfortunately, the millennial generation in particular – of which I am a member – is often too busy or consider our futures to unpredictable and unstable to have kids. Some still end up remaining a burden, even after they grow out of their infant stage – an indictment of our selfish culture that excuses it’s loathing for children by contrived hysterics about not throwing more money into education.  (The home environment, not their school is where stability must be established.)

Still, despite various precautions babies happen planned or not.  Thing is they either are born to parents often just one parent these days who don’t really want them, don’t want to adapt their lifestyle for them, or can’t be bothered to have the patience that those first few years of a child’s life demand in high volumes.

So what do we do about it besides shrieking and going back to our normal lives later?

Step Out Of The Shadows

We need to encourage those who are struggling as first-time parents without support to come out of the shadows and to open up.  People will always judge, but plenty of us have or are still in the shoes of those who are new parents that are susceptible to “snapping”. Maybe part of it is pride holding them back from wanting to admit it to themselves.

New parents need to know that they can take a break for a moment.  Leave the room for 20 minutes. Hug each other.  Call a friend on the phone for support.  Maybe even leave the car seat, bassinet, or port-a-crib in the bathroom with the fan on for a bit.

Frustration and Anger are powerful emotions.

Even those of us with the best self-control need to realize we are human and we have to step back at those key moments where you honestly just want to punch the wall, throw the bassinet across the room, or curse the day your child was born.

Step back.  Realize what’s happening. Take a break. Yes, in case people try to misconstrue what I’m saying, child abuse is terrible and wrong. Let’s get to the root to help stop it before it bubbles to the surface.

I’ll give you a personal example from months back when my son was an infant.  I had this logical desire to “fix” the situation and rational methodology to do it.  Of course I forgot as I often do that babies sometimes will cry regardless of what we do.

It’s part of being a baby.  (Start letting them self-sooth from a young age or they might not be able to sleep with you rocking them to sleep!)

I can recall being in a frustrated and utterly exhausted state.  I shouted “Shut up!” at one of my boys. I’m pretty sure I threw an expletive in there.

Moments later after the frustration had been released, I’ll felt quite bad for yelling.  What was it going to do? What were the implications in the future if I was setting an example for them from their earliest years that yelling was how you dealt with frustration?

“They are only babies”, I’ll realize again for the umpteenth time moments later.   Just a few days before that,  I was so agonized by my three month old son Nehemiah loudly and incessantly crying that I simply picked him up, put him in our bed, propped him on some blankets, turned on the fan to drown out noise, closed the door, and went into the other room to get away from it.

Eventually he fell asleep.

Plenty of people will think admissions such as this make you a monster. They don’t.  If said people were honest themselves for once instead of trying to virtue signal some kind of moral high-ground to scold the rest of us from, they’d finally look in the mirror and see the truth for what it is.

None of this stuff comes from out of nowhere. It bubbles. It nags at you. It builds to the point where you are ready to explode.  Well, we need to slowly twist the cap off. Recognizing you have a problem – as they say – is the first step to leaving that stage of denial.

We’ve become a society who doesn’t want to admit weakness because there are plenty of people who only seek your demise or exposing your pain for the rest of the world to judge.

Seeking Support In The Right Places

I’m trying to avoid being political with this post, but I’ll mention one detail.  A close friend of mine mentions how Trump never apologizes for wrongdoing. I suppose he has a point.  However, considering the current cultural and political climate, would you apologize?

“Just apologize,” they say.  Why then does it seem an apology is never enough?  In today’s polarized social media climate, unlucky targets either have to resign from their job, close their business, or much worse.


Side notes:  Whatever you do – DONT post on social media the inner real thoughts you are having at the moment.  People will go after you, despite having similar thoughts themselves in the past. Also DO NOT go to social services.  I hate to say it but government employees and even hospital staff can’t be trusted.

You just never know if someone with a grudge will falsely accuse you or try to make your life hell.  If some bored pranksters on the internet can figure out where you live and send prostitutes and pizza to your house, people with access to your private record can wreck havoc.  Play it safe. 


People don’t seem to want an apology. They want mob justice and vengeance in order to signal their participation in the fervor.  Few things are deemed as bad as todays popular “ists” and isms”, but child abuse is one of them – as is the potential to become the one doing it.

Go seek the help, advice, aid, and support of people who really know you. Go talk to your close friends and family and tell them what’s going through your mind and how you feel like snapping sometimes. They’ve been through it and they can help guide you past it.

They actually care about you and you want you to become the best parent you can be.  Of course they care about your kids and want the best for them, just as you do.

So much of the terrible stories of child abuse we see today all over the news can be pre-empted early.   Let’s encourage people to realize and get the support they need earlier rather than later.

The tough early years of no sleep will pass.  Right now its already being replaced with a new challenge for me and my wife; the constant requirement to watch them as our oldest Julius runs fast and grabs anything he can, and our youngest Nehemiah crawls.

Now we have to be more aware. Just the other day my youngest was trying to eat the rather large crumbs and food – a choking hazard for an 8 month old – left behind moments before my oldest son.

In fact my oldest now knows what “No” means and he either throws himself, gets angry, hits you, or all of the above. Yes, there is a difference between discipline and punishment.We now undertake this new adventure.

Godspeed for all you parents out there.  Support and help is there.

 

 

Do You Know Your Neighbors?

A lady on the morning news is a few streets down from me showing everyone the prevalent and widespread flooding from recent vicious storms. She talks to a few people nearby I’ve never met before.  Two of the girls want to drive through a newly created pond to grab breakfast.  Another guy is closely watching his half submerged house for flooding in critical areas.  I don’t know any of these people, yet they are my neighbors.

Why not?

Another day, another Trump headline.  Some shootings in Chicago again.  Crazy stories and revelations on the Drudge Report about a Russian lawyer no one’s ever heard of.  CNN with shady coverage.  Cringeworthy topless feminists trying to break up a Woody Allen concert.

Virtually every story I come across that I give attention to has no effect on my daily life.  I “know” so much about what’s going on all over the world and nation, but just until today, I had no idea how bad the flooding damage was in my neighborhood and in nearby towns.   In fact, I barely know what’s going on in people’s lives.  Yes, I am busy creature with my wife and kids, but it’s far easier to share a Facebook status or meme than it is to get involved locally.

Plus I get to virtue signal to my own group that I’m woke.  I’ve done my duty for the day and can avoid paying any more attention to the depressing hitsquad media circus in the current year.  Of course, I’m able to do this because my life isn’t terribly hard at the moment.

I used to think that the majority of Americans are apathetic to the “important” stuff happening in the world and nation – and to some extent I still think that’s true – but how much can you care about riots in Berkeley when your basement is flooded and everything you had down there is trashed?

We often ask why all these sheeple don’t care about all the important stuff we know is important, but why should they? When I worked third shift, it was a second job for most of my co-workers. They were working 16 hours a day and sleeping maybe 5 if they were lucky.  They didn’t have time, and anything they did wasn’t going to be spent worrying needlessly about things they couldn’t affect.   Is it really apathy when they barely have time to sleep?

Is it really Apathy?

Time is the ultimate resource, and for all the time I and others bitch about nonsense happening on College campuses to celebrities lecturing us, none of it matters to someone who is spending all their time trying to pump water out of their basement.

I and many of us in this dissident right sphere have ignored our neighbors for national issues.  We’ve ignored the struggles, trials, and chaos that plagues those around us to formulate musings, observations, and rants about feminism, social justice blatherings, and vacuous journalism.  Say what you want about guys like Jack Donovan, but at least he’s creating his own tribe with which to live his life.

I’m back in Illinois – and looking at moving to Wisconsin the future, and I can’t help but notice that people don’t have time to care when shitholes like Waukegan, Zion, and North Chicago are filled with the hopeless who can’t find jobs, drug pushers on the street, and people begging you for money and cigarettes on every corner.  Regardless of whether you loathe or hate Trump, he has no idea who you are and isn’t going to bail you out of your shitty life situation. Neither obviously will his critics.

We keep looking for political saviors to improve our lives, but we find none because the national is never focused or concerned on the local – even more so for your smaller towns.  Washington DC doesn’t care about you. Chicago doesn’t care about the small towns in the rest of the state.  (There’s a reason urban and rural concerns and voting is so different. )

If we want to convince people to care about  the problems that face our future, we have to make their future one that is worth living for.  The friends you make are the ones that will hear you out because they know you, care about you, know the investment you have in their lives, and they know you are going through the same crap they are thus forming a mutual identity.    No one REALLY cares about those that aren’t like them or in the same plight.

Mark my words, this is what will drive a new cultural class identity – not race or ethnicity.  Anyone with brains already knows that there’s little worth preserving in France, that Japan disdains foreigners, and that Europe’s problem’s didn’t come from refugees, but from the terrible bitter fruit of the cursed French Revolution and Enlightenment.  But no, let’s blame the Jews and blacks.

Yea we can be woke with our statistics about true crime, but until communities are rebuilt, it’s pointless virtue signaling to our own crowd and arguing with people online who have never met us and consider us loathsome deplorable chem drooling hicks from the Appalachians who apparently deserve to die.

Online persuasion with irritable keyboard happy strangers is a fool’s errand.  Until they meet us face-to-face, their hatred will always blind them to the fact that the suffering of people who aren’t a “minority” or marginalized group actually matters.

Stop going to fight AntiFa in Berkeley or some other peaceful, prosperous, and devoid of poverty liberal city.  Focus on your neighbors instead.    If AntiFa tries to show up to where you live, then fight them there – hopefully with locals and neighbors who don’t care about politics, but see AntiFa as invading scum who are the Fascists they claim to fight.

We want to be on the frontlines “making a difference”, but the frontlines are our OWN communities. That’s where the war has to be “fought”, where it’s always been fought, and it for sure as hell isn’t for those who troll mercilessly on twitter with no attachments to a communities people in real life.   It’s for those who are willing to strain their backs, babysit their neighbors kids, and actually get off their damn smartphone and learn that actual face-to-face conversation is what builds trust, community, and stability for the foundations of the future.

Online Movements Are Nothing Without Local Community

Ask yourself, how much do you have in common with those in online communities besides overlapping parts of your worldview?   If you perished tomorrow, would you be missed? Would articles be written? By no means should any relationships and friendships formed online be denigrated, but are your forming quality relationships with your neighbors?  If a Ferguson erupted in your town, your and your  frantic neighbors would share the same terrifying situation.

What’s left of the Alt-right is already proving to be narcissistic feuding degenerates all wanting a piece for themselves and to rule it from their arm chairs, while throwing each other under the bus.  The online presence is often just that; online trolls to personalities either spamming books, asking for patreon donations, or meming from sun up to sun down. (I won’t denigrate the meme aspect of the culture war.)

Just as most of us pessimistic types realized, online movements are often corrupted into some warped version of themselves – as the white nationalists among us make clear daily as they obsess about race, race, and more race.  Often, I’m wondering if they are just as bitter as the BLM types and what the hell is worth preserving of “white” culture – whatever that means these days besides materialism and perpetually shopping till you drop.

What the alt-right originally undertook – the forming of an identity that could rebuild the crumbling foundations of Western culture – has instead been subverted into a shallow identity of “opposition” to the left.  Rather than offer up real solutions – with the exception of Vox Day – it’s been reduced down to infighting, blaming, “big government is great if it helps whites”, and ramblings about IQ.

As Davis Aurini points out regarding the eventual subversion and death of online movements:

“Take a group of people – any group of people – and if they lack an explicit purpose for associating, as well as a command and control system to make sure that purpose doesn’t waver, their identity will eventually boil down to the lowest common denominator.  And the lowest common denominator for any group is usually the fact that they’re not that other group.  Their identity will become something reactionary and negative; by defining themselves as the opposite of that which they oppose, they will eventually allow that other group to define who they are.  Often enough, their opposition will do the same thing.  Soon enough, you have two groups who are mirror images of one another, fighting one another, and whatever principles or goals that might have started the two groups, are quickly reduced to nothing but slogans, and their former leaders are vilified for holding them back from the fray.”

Even the proposals that do come forth such as Spencer’s white only ethno state aren’t just bad ideas, but will never happen.  That of course assumes “white” will mean the same thing in the future as it does today – which means it won’t.  What are you left with?

A local community from which you and your neighbors will build an identity. Take everything you learn online and apply it.  Avoid repeating the mistakes of your “blue pill” self.  History is a great teacher and one that we must constantly come back to for lessons that have stood the test of time.

Our focus must be local.  You can’t address your neighbors worldview when his house is falling apart and he doesn’t know where the money is going to come from for his next mortgage payment.   Desperation is all around us, but often we are blissfully unaware of it.   We forget that the most eager “converts” are those whose lives were previously in shambles, yet now are starting to emerge from the slime and grind of daily life.

No reformation, societal overhaul, or prevention of the fall of what’s left of Western culture will take place until it transforms local communities.  Online movements are constantly prone to decay, and ours is no exception.  The Neo-Reactionists in our sphere may write as obtuse and high church like manner to keep out entryists and subversion, but they likely will be left behind in their own bubble never pushing the Overton window.

To believe in anything, you must see it impact you and those around you.   It is far better to live in happiness with your neighbors then to write in malice toward strangers on either coast.  The former will always be with you, while the latter you will never meet. Perhaps we can make the “change” Obama disingenuously never intended.

Playing Pretend Men With The Perfect Persona

So many internet tough guys out there tell us how it should be done, how we will change the world, and what Utopias we can envision in a pleasant future.  This assumes we’ve gotten over our addiction to schadenfreude to begin our monk like meditation.  It’s an addiction worse than heroin for anyone with a smart phone, twitter, and too much time on their jealousy soaked hands.  Eventually it breeds a toxicity that you feel yourself drowning in.

Matt Forney and Aurini made this point in a recent stream and they are absolutely right about the detox that we all so desperately need to start.

The problem is that’s it’s everywhere.  Zombies with an addiction to digital flesh from internet controversy, gossip, and virtue signaling every which way to settling for rants, mudslinging, meme trolling, and the occasional cat video.  Everyone rants about problems, but the thinkers coming up with solutions are left in the web traffic stat dust. Yet again, those who are doing the legwork won’t be likely appreciated until they pass from this mortal coil.    Rather we prefer staying in our choir rooms as it preaches to itself for the umpteenth time.

That flesh the zombies consume is fed by a source the Luddites never could foresee – the very internet itself.  The web is every sci-fi writer’s greatest fantasy; a shockingly easily wielded tool capable of great good but also terrible evil.  No, that’s not even enough of an attempted literary description to give you that vivid picture that should haunt your smart phone attached fingers.

Will we take a break?

Toxicity from it spews everywhere.  It’s hard to avoid.  Gutters are our everyday walk. We love to see the outspoken fall, but we cry deep tears when it happens to us.  Most of what we stand for is often based on telling others what trash they are.  While our opposition may be trash, it tires us out. We know there must be more.

Yet it’s brought on by ourselves.  We are soaking ourselves in this toxic insanity.   People are burnt out.    Politics has just turned people even more jaded liches of themselves, but is burning people out.  Take that hint and take a break.  You can step away and it will all still be there when you get back.

Be careful, life might leave you behind.

Our addiction to information overload is fueled by a desire to always be in the moment and NEVER miss out.  By the way our culture looks these days, it’s stronger than sex.    What flurry of information we pick to fill our heads with says alot about us.  We dont just allow, but get high off constant distraction.  As Neil postman predicted, we are amusing ourselves to death.   The addiction almost killed Andrew Sullivan.

That distraction is better than taking action.  We can yell from our arm chairs with the latest bit of constant 24/7 gossip and stupid feminists to laugh at, instead of doing anything to create that famed shire culture we frolic about.  Laci Green said this and a Jezebel article said that! Who cares. Does this gossip like debunking of progressive nonsense actually do anything? Schadenfreude is amusing, but isn’t there more?

What Are We Doing?

Creation requires effort, risk, and a departure from swiping on tinder and trying to game girls with low self esteem at bars.  Any kind of rebuilding or simply building anew of a culture and worldview that wont’ shatter at the foundations means our goals have to be about solutions rather than the rants and criticism that are so easy to vegetate on.

So why are we here in our corners of the manosphere and alt whatever?

We are here to help men who want to be helped to lead better and more enjoyable lives.” – Lizard Of Oz

If this is truly our goal, we are in serious danger of losing our way.

Even on our much revered forum of the manosphere, so much of the talk revolves around laughing about the pain of progressive SJWs, fat feminists who are LITERALLY slowly eating themselves to death, and women who too late realized that their corporate jobs didn’t care about them when they considered having a family.  Instead…“HAHA! Stupid bitch deserved it!”   Poetic justice I guess. On to the next one.  Is this really our high?

Hell I recall an article by feminist Julie Bindel who was worried that feminism was in danger of becoming toxic  – a point it’s far past – because of how vicious it’s twitter army had gotten.  That toxicity – though from an entirely flawed and vicious worldview can be seen in our own pastures as we lob grenades into their trenches.

Sure it feels good, but in the end, what are we doing to help men become better?  To get out of their predicaments? To help rebuild the shattered teenager getting out of highschool whose feminized teachers ensure he will be a virgin into his 30s and end up stuck in that “anger” phase, even if does find the red pill?

We need to detach from the venom before it’s all that’s left of us.

At the core we forget the human element of all of this and that you can catch far more flies with honey than with vinegar, even if that vinegar burn is as entertaining as Mister Metokur’s takedowns.  Case in point is a Kid Strangelove post on Matt Forney’s site:

So invite you, my dear reader, to make a commitment with me. Let’s all be good guys. Let’s try to spread as much care and joy to other people as we can. Let’s be good, positive human beings. Because it is through this goodness that our message can spread and become more accepted. It is through this goodness that our message, our stories, our lessons, will have a new audience. It is through this goodness that we help our fellow man.”

Our addiction ends up being to the vinegar. It’s sad.

We have to detach ourselves from the digital monster, before we become it.  In fact, this is a fate that is being seen across the spectrum.   I’ve made an effort over time to do just that. Every day, I’ll just take in the scenes around me, the flush of chattering voices, smiles, roars, and the attempt of people to just get through their day.

What I’ve realized makes me somewhat ashamed.

Broken people. Everywhere.  It’s just that the online addicts have it the worst. Even when they venture into that sunlight, their thoughts are consumed digital anticipation.  Their friendships based around ideologies that could deliver betrayals worse than Judas.

It’s no way to live.

At some point, I just want to help them.  I know these people in real life. Their online pitchforks gleam in the blood red moonlight, yet when you see the downtrodden looks in their faces after a tedious job they hate has gut punched them yet another day.  Longing for something as real as the feeling of sand sifting between your fingers.

At some point, I long for healing.

Hopefully sooner, rather than later.  Look at where we are at in history and you’ll notice we are in a downturn in the cycle. This open nastiness and toxicity we see is just merely part of the beginning stage.  It will get much worse. Hopefully some of our “enemies” realize that when shit in the fans, they are just as human as we are.

Now I as well as the rest of you are sick of being attacked day in and day out by liberal types, hit pieces from the media, and virtue signalers who throw us under the bus rather the risk the “wrong” associations.   Thing is there are tons of them out there.  You can’t really do much to swim back up against the current.

What you can do however is reserve your own grenades for those who attack your friends, family, and the men you choose to stand with.  Always stand by them through the darkest of times and reserve your attacks for those who come for their livelihoods.   However, for the rest of those around us, enjoy each day as it comes.

Living Up To Your Potential is Uncomfortable

“Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential”. – Winston Churchill

Plenty of motivational words have been blathered about “Living up to your potential.” It’s almost abstract at this point. Perhaps the above quote from the brilliant and witty Winston Churchill may be an exception.

We serfs often get used to a daily routine – one that’s very comfortable. While we bounce between loving and hating it depending on whether we are enjoying life, we don’t want to quite upset that balance.

It’s why we settle for the status quo, both on a very individual scale when we are grinding out our day jobs, and simply want to relax when we get home. Living up to your potential is hard.  That continuous effort…  well, I really want a beer and to Netflix and chill with my wife instead.

Of all of the above, I’m guilty.

I work a job with commission opportunities with a low base hourly rate of 9$ an hour. Often, they are happy that you just show up, because so many people don’t when it comes to call centers.

I’ve lasted over 9 months at my job – which is apparently great when you look at turn over rates for call centers. Still everyday I’m at the edge of quitting and walking off.

Because I have a family to provide for, I can’t do that. However instead of applying to new jobs, I just lay back at home when I get off and relax. It’s easy. I want to unwind.

The next morning, I wake up and curse having to get ready to go back to a job I often hate. I’m my own worst enemy, a glutton for the punishment of a comfortable routine.  I’m my own worst enemy.

That’s me.

I actually like my co-workers and both of the managers I’ve had. I just can’t chance not making commission during checks when my family is desperate for money.

Based on that alone, I should have already gotten another job. But this one is easy. I know the systems, the unwritten rules, what flies and what doesn’t – all of which take a few months to learn. I don’t want to start over and get… uncomfortable. Anxious. Unsure of exactly what the expectations will be.

Clearly, I’m hindering my own potential. I’m comfortable in my job routine while hating and loving it every day.  I know so many other people who are afflicted in this same devious manner. But we are too lazy and “comfortable” to do anything about it.

We bitch about the status quo, but content ourselves in it’s comforts. I talk big and loud, but my stick is very small.

This all comes down to willpower.  An honest thorough self-reflection would indicate that I’m lacking that department, or that I pick and choose.  If it’s easy, I’ll leave that comfort zone, but if it’s hard I’ll certainly stay.  Of course this means that my motivation will be lacking as well.

Quintus Curtius calls this Transformative Mental Change  when he talks about the Foundations Of Motivation and that its needed if you want to make a step in the right direction harnessing that willpower – or at least building it.

“This source of motivation comes from an internal decision that we make.  We consciously decide that we want to improve ourselves.  We consciously decide that we want to begin the process of forward movement.  At some point, we become tired of the old patterns and wish for a change.  We wish to push ourselves into new vistas and regions of exploration.  And before we do this, we make a decision.”

You would think having a family to provide for would give me that mental tazing  and wake me from my lackadaisical slumber, but it hasn’t yet.  That desire to do more – still lacking. Have to buckle up. I wonder if it’s an aspect of maturity that I still have to attain – a level of responsibility that has to be shouldered.

The appreciation isn’t seen right away, but the fruit will be seen in full later.  Perhaps I’m too much a creature of immediate satisfaction, rather then a player of the long game.  Again it’s another part of living up to Potential. You want to be all you can be.

If one really wants it, they will grab it without excuse. In a world where excuses are rewarded, I suspect this is why it takes people a long time to finally leave their comfort zone. Why would they?  If they live off the government dole, there is no incentive.  If they live at home and can still have their girlfriends overnight, why bother striving to better themselves?

Then again, if the system is rigged – getting that dollar too much in the next tax category, it may be a symptom of our society in general where the hardest working end up being the most penalized.  This is not an excuse, but an observation.

This is not a call to be someone else, it’s a call to be the best I can be. We take a lot for granted – specifically our continued and assured situations. We never know if calamity, death, joblessness, the loss of transportation could send us to the streets.   It’s almost as if we are living paycheck to paycheck.

An assured, prosperous, and at the very least – safe – future should be planned.  That planning and needed drive have to be used at some point. Sooner rather than later.

How Mass Data Creates Scripted Social Interactions In Daily Life

Ever wonder why half the people you talk to when you want to buy something sound like they are reading off a script? It’s because we are.  When I answer yet another mind-numbing phone call at the call center I work at, I have SCRIPTED responses to people regardless of their questions or what they want.

Often, most of these agents have no idea actually solve your problems because all customer service cubicle clones are half-assed sales agents per company orders. They’ll read some scripted utterances off the call flow, and if they are doing their job description, pitch all the products the company has to offer. Forget the actual customer service part.  Usually it’s done poorly because it’s hard to sell to people when they are flipping out that their bill is wrong or that their internet doesn’t work. Still if you don’t pitch, you’ll see the back door of shame peons.

Remember hearing that word “Recommend”? 

It’s the most powerful word in sales, and 80% of the time that you’ll hear it, the buffoonish liars using it don’t know their head from their ass about what they are recommending.

Yet consumer sheeple fall for it all the time. Why is that?

Must follow script.

Because Experts recommend, and people who “Recommend” must be experts. In Weimerica, experts are the modern priests to always be trusted. They whisper directly to the American gods of pills, shitty products, terrible parenting advice, and diagnosing curious kids full of energy with ADHD.  The equivalent skepticism showed toward those religious Sky god believers has yet to be applied to our priestly expert class. Hypocrites, the lot of  you.

We ask mandatory “discovery questions”, and regardless if you have TV or want a landline phone – most people don’t – we will be sure to “Recommend” and “suggest” that people get that triple play package, even if all they wanted was internet.  My favorite rebuttal that they use is that if you call 911, they will know where you are right away.

Sounds like a great reason to pay 30$ + whatever phone tax there is.  That’s assuming we get past the numerous amount of customers who are set on cutting the cord and replacing cable with Sling, prime, Netflix, or a host of online options.   I can only appeal to a customer’s inner escapism so much to overcome the, “I’m not at home enough to watch TV.”

But back to that call flow, because if we don’t, we aren’t following the call flow – and that’s a diabolical naughty.

In a shocking twist, even if our sales numbers are insane, the company doesn’t care if we aren’t following that magical flow they invested time and money in perfecting. 

Saying that call center scripts are harming your company would be like saying that smoking is bad for your health.

This call flow that must be followed because millions were spent by the company I work for paying data analysts to examine how to trick that extra 5% of people into getting a landline.  Even our attempts to “connect” with our customers are superficial, bordering on soul sucking.  The interaction starts with the following drudgery literally anyone can do and that’s the damn point. For instance:

Thank you for calling **********!  My name is __________.  How can I help you set up your services today?

Assume the sale.  The first lesson in sales.

Once again my name is  ______________. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”

I’m reveling in pleasure over here. I don’t know you, but I’m thrilled to talk to you. I’m your friend, not some random sales person. Feel at ease.  You can buy products from me. You know you want to.

May I have a phone number that we can use to reach with information about your ********** services?

Notice that last word? Services. If you give it, we can spam you with calls later – assuming an order is placed.  It’s dressed up in perfect legal speak.  Like everything else. We are a litigious cursed society filled with lawyers looking to make a buck either on the lawsuit or consulting basis to avoid said lawsuit. Brilliant.  My personal favorite that I have to read off  EVERY DAMN order is:

Can I use the phone number you provided for marketing related information and messages including updates about your installation appointment?

95% of the time this works. If I thrown in a “In case we get disconnected”, its basically 100%. Then again, my vendor’s client doesn’t like that because it gives a bad implication about our service.  What a joke.

We are speaking in riddles and people only solve the part of that riddle that we allow them.  Purposeful misdirect. We are magicians of the illusion. A handful of times people don’t want to give out their numbers because they are only shopping and ruining my numbers – pun intended.  Besides that, this statistical manipulation of the human psyche works wonders. It’s disturbing if you think about it deeply.

That last part of the statement is perfect. It gets you  to focus on the upcoming service you are about to get and not the fact we are going to send you lots of mail. It’s again perfect from a legal stand point, and I’m sure whatever part of the budget they blew on that precise wording has to be followed to the letter.  Can’t have that money go to waste with all the job slashing these days.

The irony is that sales is one of the few jobs you can’t automate away.  If your products sucks in comparison to the competition, silver tongued devils will be needed to ease your worries and present it in just the right way to overcome your objections.

 

Robots can’t rebuttal based on the customers needs – yet.  Corporate still tries to tell to pitch on “Value” which translated without bullshit = “Our products sucks compared to competitiion and is more expensive.”  Again, you might be able to put the right spin on shit, but its still often shit.

Everything and everyone is a damned statistic when it comes to that shit.

People automatically assume manipulation is a bad thing.  If it is, everyone is doing it all the time – specifically all those corporations and governments no one really likes. Every sales agent is being slowly converted into a PR spokesperson, complete with stripping your personality away.

Anytime you buy anything off the phone, a script must be followed to provide the barely legal spin on what the product is supposed to do.  Phrases like Up to“,as much as“, and “enjoy” grab your attention away from the rest of the underhanded mind trickery that is occurring.

Imagine doing this everyday for at least 8 hours.

Your sanity starts to degrade. I don’t even necessarily dread going to work, but answering the next call and saying the same thing – again. Humans weren’t meant to be robotic automatons, but we are a liability for corporations in that finely tuned machine.  You just  never know what we might tweet next, let alone say in confidence. Hell, we don’t even know where all this data gathering itself is gonna lead!

I received a reject from our esteemed quality department where call center agents who are rejects go to feel good about themselves and trip on a limited power high.  Apparently me joking with a customer about their internet speeds being so fast they should rent some to their neighbors for a monthly fee was “unprofessional”.

So much for connecting with your customer.

Humor must be eliminated, as should actual human connection. That call shouldn’t last over 15 minutes, regardless of what has to be covered in disclosures for quality purposes.  What I find fascinating is that so many of the big wigs and head honcho managers haven’t been agents, let alone spent time on the sales floor taking floods of calls.

Despite this they still dictate what should be said and what we can say.  Half the sales techniques I used to use were essentially banned because my vendor’s employers thought that it gave off the wrong implications.  Placing a pending order – a sales floor staple – gone because some number crunching high up types want to tweak those percentages.

Big data cant analyze those variables. Neither cant the scripts we are supposed to ramble in accordance with. But hey, as long as we cover those legal bases and do some pseudo connections with our customers?

Well, this ended up being a rant.

Bad Habits Start Young – My Teeth Really Hurt

No, its not that bad

THE PAIN!!!! It’s hurts so damn bad.

Severe tooth pain makes you want to perform unsupervised amputations. Crying and screaming while rolling around in your bed now seem more probable. You don’t even care about the same – so much so that you are that close to using that pair of pliers. To hell with all the blood you will need to clean off your baisch floor.

Because of bad habits as a kid, and did I have a lot of bad ones – like rarely taking care of my teeth, let alone brushing them,  my mouth is filled with various cavities and now two broken teeth just waiting to act up.  I have a few teeth extracted and it looks like more will follow.

Thursday night was bad, but I snuggled up under my blankets, and slept off the pain.  Friday night I was not shown such mercy and no amount of Ibuprofen was going to make that pain go away.  I was going to need something stronger. More on that in a second.

Cavities and broken teeth don’t make you go, “Oh that’s beautiful!”.  Good people recoil in shock and horror at such nastiness.  You now know why I never show my teeth when I smile.  Seriously, I don’t show my teeth unless I’m drunk and I’m not aware that my pearly yellows are exposed to shocked onlookers.

A previous dentist actually thought I was doing drugs because of the amount of cavities. I can remember her saying, “Cmon, what is it? Meth?” Nope, just rarely brushed teeth that stand to make you a considerable fortune. No, I’m not a meth head, tobacco chewing addict from the Appalachians and I don’t intend to give that impression off smiling with a toothless grin.

Why can’t getting dental work done – that expensive stuff like root canals, crowns, etc have a similar approach you’d find at a hospital.   There, even if you can’t pay and have no insurance, they still treat you. Sure you’re medical bills will be insane and your credit will be screwed for life, but that flashy smile will land you a gig showing others their teeth just aren’t white enough.

Like most millennials, I should blame my bigoted ist and ism parents who don’t check their privilege enough – specifically my mom.  Well, it’s not her fault. She tried and I just got lazy.  Maybe I wasn’t disciplined enough for my bad hygiene, but hindsight is hindsight.

Over the last 3 days the pain I mentioned has  been excruciating. I couldn’t even sleep at a point. I now understand why people commit suicide – something I have no intention of doing. The pain can be that terrible.

Currently, I have a cracked tooth as well as an impacted and decaying wisdom tooth that causes terrible pain for the left side of my mouth.  I’m rough and tough and wait these things out, but Saturday it was too much.  I went to the ER, got a referral for a dentist, and got some Percocets which I’m currently on right now.

Tuesday came around and I got that extraction. Now I’m on hydrocodone to manage the pain of it.  The older wizened dentist extracted my wisdom tooth in about 3 minutes after he shot my mouth full of lidocaine or whatever it is.

Honestly with my teeth having been killing me these last few days, I’m still lucky.  How’s that?

My mom is staying with us for about two months to help us out with our two sons.  Them being 10 and  1/2months  apart is the primary reason.  I’m lucky I didn’t have to get up in the middle of the night to do a feeding for our 6 week old son Nehemiah  with my teeth in such pain I can barely stand.

My sons should never feel this pain. I won’t let them.  From a young age I’ll make sure they are brushing thoroughly so they never have a mouth as ramshod with cavities as their old man.

For years I’ve pushed off my dental issues – usually due to a lack of money or dental insurance to pay for it, but I didn’t bother to use mouthwash daily and be brushing constantly to stave off even worse dental wrath.

Don’t be like me kids.  Watch those horrific cavity videos and recoil in fear and horror at those google images. IT can happen to you!  Except you won’t get pregnant and die. Lessons must be learned.

1. Discipline from a young age forms good habits

2. Don’t relent. Your kids will thank you when their teeth aren’t killing them every night.

 

– Tales from a cavity survivor in pain.