Category: Life

0

Tales From The Married Crypt 1: Post-Partum Passion

The women in my life – mom and wife – were fighting again…  My wife was starting to go off on me.  This did end in end in sex though. Of course all you Greek Deity’s out there have perfect marriages, kids with IQs that blow those Asian prodigies out of the water, and families so perfect that stains never appear on your clothing.  I expect nothing less on the internet from people who aren’t divorced.  So it’s time for me to pony up and give you a peek behind the curtain of how life really goes down. Our story begins below....

0

Bad Habits Start Young – My Teeth Really Hurt

THE PAIN!!!! It’s hurts so damn bad. Severe tooth pain makes you want to perform unsupervised amputations. Crying and screaming while rolling around in your bed now seem more probable. You don’t even care about the same – so much so that you are that close to using that pair of pliers. To hell with all the blood you will need to clean off your baisch floor. Because of bad habits as a kid, and did I have a lot of bad ones – like rarely taking care of my teeth, let alone brushing them,  my mouth is filled with various cavities and...

0

Never Denounce Your Friends – Stand By Them

“Friendship is like standing on wet cement. The longer you stay, the harder it’s to leave, and you can never go without leaving your footprints behind.” – Unknown Beginning Your Quest “Stand By Me” is what crosses my shitlord mind when I think about the ultimate meaning of the word “friend”.   Hopefully something of similar aspiration and brilliance crosses your mind as you agonize late into the night about your lack of instagram followers, likes, and retweets. The 1986 classic is a tale of boys who bond while on the adventure of their lives – to find a dead body first. A dead body was the goal...

How To Endure Life’s Boredom, Beatings, and Jaded Outlook 0

How To Endure Life’s Boredom, Beatings, and Jaded Outlook

“I’m Bored!” Those dreaded useless words I hear uttered frequently by everyone ranging from my 14 year old cousin to my pot-head friends of yesteryear to my lovely lass wife.  Yes, she doesn’t want to watch Netflix or some other movie for yet ANOTHER night, but finances are tight as I’m the only one working for the man right now. We aren’t just bored.  We go to bed expecting tomorrow to be exhausing, unfuffiling, and frustrating knowing nothing worthwhile will be accomplished. Stuck in a trance-like state, we’re going through the motions, even when lazy and lounging around.  Yes, we are tired...

3

The Sting Of Betrayal

My Own Benedict Arnold Moment Every man will experience his own “Benedict Arnold” moment. While it might not take place in a revolutionary war to determine the fate of nation being born, it will still leave a blackened stained touch in your memory. What motivates betrayal? Often it’s money, greed, jealousy, and the desire to attain power. To do that you have to step on people to move up the ladder of power. Certainly, I was stepped on like a scared housewife stomps on an ugly bug while squeaking out a brief, “Eeek!!!!” My own betrayal  moment caught me off guard.   None of...

Internet Burnout From too much Politics 1

Take A Break, Relax, Recover, and Come Back To The Fight

Take A Break Or This Broken World Will Drive You Crazy For the last two months prior to election day, Drudge was linking to various articles about how people were suffering from election induced anxiety, depression, and even sleep loss.  Facebook feeds were particularly active and potent regardless of what political bubble you are dwell in. We all expected the end of the world before night, and it’s only gotten worse post-election for half of the voting public to cope with the election of Cthulu.  Detractors of Trump literally believe he’s Hitler, but then again, so is anyone to the right...

Being Thankless and Homesick on Thanksgiving 0

Being Thankless and Homesick on Thanksgiving

This will be the first thanksgiving that I’ve spent away from my family.   Here in Missouri, I will instead be spending it with my son and my wife’s parents and cousins who are here.    During the last few months, I’ve been gutted by a feeling of being homesick.   Today, it will probably hit the hardest. Alas, this feeling however does give way to a realization;  We never appreciate our family enough until they aren’t around.  The atmosphere of my dad’s family staying up late into the night, kicking back some beers, the ambient noise of conversation –...

The Steps Of Life – The Early Patriarch 0

The Steps Of Life – The Early Patriarch

Recently, my life has become like one of those sack races at a school party.  My wife is in the sack with me – almost twice a day on average – and often we are trying to hop in different directions when it comes to our plans, ideas, and how we want to spend our time that day.  Our marriage is yet young. As we seek to better communicate and understand the stubborn other, a new path in life opens. As the experts hum repeatedly, much of marriage is all about communication.  Usually, you don’t start off to well in...

Julius Temple as a Baby Holding My Finger 6

The Red Pill Doesn’t Quite Prepare You For Being Married, Pregnancy, and Fatherhood

Monday, April 18th, 2016 at 1:37 PM, my son Julius was born.  His birth was the culmination and the reward for all of the various fights, strife, conflicts, and plain out stress that me and my pregnant wife had gone through leading up to that very moment.   That said, I don’t think I was as nearly prepared for it as I thought I was.  While fatherhood strikes whether you are ready for it or not, the process leading up to it can be both a joyous and tumultuous affair.   Score one for my continued legacy and that evil...

2nd Sucks Shirt Song A Day To Remember, playing, sports 0

When I Realized I Couldn’t Play Hard With The Girls

“They said you were touching girl’s asses,” the school’s principle, Diane, who had called me in for my transgressions.  Luckily for me, she was a nice lady who was interested in at least hearing what this criminal had to say. This was nonsense. I was just playing hard.  What the hell was she talking about?  We are playing sports together! Reflecting On My Sins In the end, I was blindsided and ended up fessing up to something I really hadn’t done, because I didn’t want to get in any more trouble.  It was as if I had come out on top,...

%d bloggers like this: