Thanksgiving Sales and Black Friday Obsession Is Our Fault

We Are Our Own Worst Enemies

Black Friday and specifically shopping during Thanksgiving dinner itself wouldn’t be the obsession it is if it weren’t for you.  If your family time was more important to you than a new flatscreen, less stores would be open during the time.

You selfish thankless bastards wouldn’t know that Thanksgiving was supposed to be special time to give thanks and be grateful with family and friends or go Black Friday shopping and fight with people over electronics at your local Walmart while shirking that family time.

While Black Friday participation was thankfully down this year among thirsty shoppers by about 20%, the consumer culture that it feeds is alive and sucking the wallets and time of the afflicted.   Yes, more stores closed, but still plenty were open.  This doesn’t even include the various warehouses where we stick our seasonal wage slaves.

Everyone – regardless of their ideology – can put their finger on this notion that something is deeply wrong, but most haven’t dug deep enough.  Simply put, we can’t fix ANY of our problems until we fix our people and the culture they create.

We can’t build meaningful relationships that transcend all the difficulties of life if we will spend that time on obsessing over Amazon details or shopping at Walmart instead of with our families over some tasty turkey.

That problem lingering deep down in a shadowy hole is that there are far too many people willing to forget their families in favor of shopping during Thanksgiving Dinner to save a few dollars off crap they really don’t need or have to own.   Do you really need another tablet?

Of course, greedy corporations and businesses looking to churn out profits from already greedy debt-ridden consumers are willing to appeal to the fallen angels of our nature to generate some additional cash for their never satisfied shareholders. We are our own worst enemy and there is plenty of mutual feeding on greed to go around.

It’s an unspoken dirty secret, but if there weren’t a significant amount of consumers willing to abandon precious time with family and friends – which they probably don’t see all that often – for “deals” and gadgets, there wouldn’t this hoard of companies willing to make millions of people work like dogs during Thanksgiving.

Maybe even the desperate deal shoppers themselves might think twice before throwing another article of clothing on the ground with the assumption some poor minimum wage seasonal worker is going to pick it up for the hours and hours of sorting and cleanup that will be happening all week.

The demand for Black Friday and it’s accompanying World Star videos are because enough of us are significantly demanding with pockets deep enough to blow 5 billion dollars in 24 hours on a day that is now stretching into the weekend.

Until that changes not only will most of us not be thankful for what we have – as well as the time we can spend with friends and family – but we will sacrifice the little time we have with them for the pursuit of more stuff.

No, this isn’t as if you are toiling away for a career, rather you are upgrading your 40 inch tv to a 55 inch during the time you should be spending with your family – the ones who actually care about you.

What make us supposedly happy and our primary goals are reflected by what we spend our time doing and investing in.  As Black Friday shows, too many people are still spending that time and money on stuff than on time with their families.   It’s what makes them happy.

That’s a horrid problem itself.  How do you alter the ingrained programming of thousands of hours of media that more stuff will make you happy?

Attitude of Gratitude

Often we forget about being thankful for what we have because so many people think their life is crap because they dont have the newest gadgets, products, or apps.  We end up shackled to these items and unable to experience the freedom found in gratitude.   at the Imaginative Conservative makes this point:

But gratitude remains the only key that unshackles us and lets us breathe free. Life is a peculiar phenomenon. We all unthinkingly use the phrase “the gift of life,” but it is only a gift if we really think of it as such. If we don’t, then life is an unbearable curse. It is Hell itself. No matter how bountiful and varied our good fortune, life has no flavor and is devoid of any joy unless we are grateful for it. As the Dominican mystic Meister Eckhardt succinctly put it: “If the only prayer you ever said in your whole life was thank you, that would suffice.””

The newest IPhone and 4k tv wont make you feel any more lively than your previous generation Iphone. Unless you are grateful for what you have, you will never be grateful for the future possessions you so envy after seeing ads for the latest flash sale or Amazon deal.

It’s tragic, but there is one definite way to experience gratitude just as Scrooge did in Charles Dickens parable like story or Jesus’ tale of the prodigal son.

You have to lose everything.  Your health, family, and every last item you so dearly valued.  You have to be brought down to rock bottom to rise back up, riches to rags.

Hopefully, we can learn those lessons Scrooge style from those who have so that we don’t have to go through their pain.

To that grateful end, I will share a tragic story that is a part of my industry.  Remember to look on that sunny brightside.  It could be much, much worse. So be thankful for once, you thankless bastards.

Where I work, I run into some rather sad unfortunate stories.

It’s made me realize a few things. We often get caught up in our own lives, worlds, bubbles, and in the troubles and trials that we endure.  Its easy to forget about the plights of those in the distance who are faring much worse.  We become our own worst enemy.

No doubt many of us have seen pictures, videos, and stories about the recent hurricane devastation that has been wrought upon Texas, Florida, and now Puerto Rico.  Or the fires that ravaged California. These people lost everything, but their families and friends remained intact who hopefully aren’t too immersed in “stuff” to lend them aid and support.

Talk to each person whose lost something there and you’ll hear some depressing stories about their current living situations as they try to cope. (Most of us take our support networks and families for granted.)

I won’t reveal where I work as we are in the age of self-righteous Internet lynch mobs who go after people’s jobs as I have a wife and two sons to support.

However I can tell you about about a tragic story I ran into.

 

Hotel From Hell


I’m on the phone talking to a man – we will call him George – who is stuck in a hotel of a large hotel chain.  Him, his wife, and his infant son are homeless after the hurricane.  Evacuating, they took with them as many clothes as they could, their son’s pack-in-play, car seat, and baby carrier you strap to your chest.

George – who was a vet and had fought in our recent middle east excursions – described that everything left in the hurricanes wake reminded him of towns he had seen that had been completely ravaged by bombs and artillery fire.  Their home which I believe was in Tallahassee had been utterly destroyed from Hurricane Irma.

Forced to go from one Red Cross makeshift shelter to another – with a rather sick infant,  a tad bit of luck would come their way; George’s brother would pay for them to stay at hotel for a period of time to get them out of the vicious hot humid weather.  All of the “good” hotels were booked through already.

They would begin their stay on Monday and on Tuesday night their already existing suffering would escalate.  Their infant son – about 5 and a half months old – had just been in the hospital three weeks prior.  Apparently he had been in and out of the NICU quite frequently since he was born, adding to the seriousness of their plight.

Their son – we will call him Jonny, had contracted RSV when he was just a few months old, on top of his previous medical issues.  RSV for infants that young can be deadly to the point they have to stay at the hospital for the duration of the infection.

Jonny had just started sleeping through the night in his pack-in-play. Or at least he was till a flea infestation in the room, unknown to them at the time, left the infant with flea bites from head-to-toe. It was so damn bad, he couldn’t sleep anymore and they would stay awake with him as he screamed and cried through the night.  They themselves would suffer from the flea bites.

A further slap in the face was that they couldn’t use chemicals to get rid of the flies off the clothing that was salvageable – almost none of it – because their infant son couldn’t be exposed to said chemicals due to his medical issues.

The fleas would decimate almost ALL of the clothing they brought with, including the car seat, port-a-crib, and infant carrier.  So now they weren’t only almost broke, but they would have to replace all the clothes somehow.  You can bet most of the charitable places in that area that give out clothes were already overwhelmed.

Of course they couldn’t switch rooms. There were no other available rooms. All had been taken by insurance agents and other survivors and refugees of the hurricanes wrath.  They were stuck there.

George would roam the hotel hallways to clear his head and to think of any way to improve their situation. Of course, he would be penalized for this.

While observing construction that was going off in an area of the hotel – that strangely wasn’t taped off, George would step on a piece of metal and puncture his foot – something that looked like a large metal construction staple.  It wasn’t even near the obvious area of construction.

He would be in immense pain from it.

George’s wife mentioned that she had never seen him scream or cry before, but when he pulled this staple out, he cried from the pain. Perhaps the mental and emotional burdens on top of this recent were enough to put him over the edge.  When thrown in the mix of losing everything you have, it must have felt like a release.

Now I don’t know what happened to them after this.  I hope they were able to find a place to stay.  Mail had to be sent to his mother’s house in another state – that’s the closest relatives they had in proximity.

They had lost everything, but at least they had some family.  Their stuff could be replaced, as tragic as their situation was, but family can’t.

——————————————————————————————

Family First

When you are obsessing over the stuff you don’t have, just remember to take a look at those who have nothing – through no fault of their own.

Spend time with your family. You never know how much time you really have with them.  New flatscreens and crazy sales designed to lure you into dishing out for a new one you don’t really need will always be around.  Your family may not.

When me and my wife lived 8 hours away from most of our family – specifically mine, it made me realize how much I miss them.  With so many families with members scattered across the states, Thanksgiving may be one of the few days where everyone will be gathered there together.

Make the most of it.  You can go shopping later, which you probably don’t need to.

 

Rape Culture Does Exist With A Shocking Twist

Muh Rape Culture Being Perpetrated From Those Who Rant About It

Ivory Tower Perps

For the last decade we’ve heard non-stop awareness rantings about how rape culture was literally everywhere.

Rape. Everywhere. Especially among backwards white male normal bigots from the Flyover states.

It was in the gutters, Walmart, and in our very currency. Lecturer and preacher-in-chief- Harvey Weinstein, an outspoken champion of women, was there to tell us about our evil male rape desires.

Apparently so were all these other Hollywood actors, media personalities, and semi-plutocrats with lots of power and money telling us that “rape culture” was interwoven in the very fabric of our culture and lives.   It reminds of me of that video where a girl was getting arrested and eventually resorted to screaming, “RAPE!!!!!”

They are obsessed with rape culture, because they are the one’s perpetrating it.

Look at that list of Hollywood, media, and cultural movers and shakers who’ve been accused of nefarious sexual deeds and harassment.   It keeps expanding by the day.

For them it was their way of life. Those bumpkins of us who rejected their screeds were labeled everything from KKK, MRAs, and Nazis to Misogynists, sexists, and patriarchal bigots who wanted anything “female” in the kitchen, barefoot, and pregnant.  We just had no idea how terrible we were in comparison to where the sermons were coming from.

Surprisingly, all the problems they worried about all day and night were occurring, it was just that odious self-righteous attention was in the wrong place.  It wasn’t university campuses where drunken students couldn’t remember if they “consented” or not.  Nor was it the random creep patrolling the parking lots for a violent movie like attack.  It wasn’t even that family member in small town america who likes guns and trucks where all of us misogynist bigots live that want to hold women down. Nope, not even the prisons where the term “Rape culture” actually came from.

It was them the whole damn time.

Credit for the inspiration for this post  goes to a recent Aurini livestream in which they discussed Harvey Weinstein and the predatory actions of the Hollywood titan producer dropped a following thought bomb that got my brain waves going.

This was of course deliberate distraction from the real culprits like Harvey Weinstein who donated to the right party – democrats – who looked the other way as they virtue signaled to the rest of us.  The feminists behind “Free The Nipple” would give him special thanks even after her harassed the director/actress behind it.

Rape culture was taking place where the people of power and influence were – Hollywood, media producers, ect.  You know, where all that “A LOT of power+privilege” stuff actually exists. It was where the movers and shakers with their casting couches, freaky fetishes, and ability to turn people into stars and give them famed careers occupied in their luxury office and studios – for a steep price.

It was even in White House where outspoken fundraisers for progressives causes and politicians like Harvey Weinstein were cutting 10,000$ checks to Bill Clinton’s defense fund against Monica Lewinsky.  Even his corporation was willing to tolerate his behavior by having his contract written in a way to allow sexual abuse.  These sick degenerates were infected and spreading their disease from the top down.   It’s an infestation.

Preaching from a high pulpit, they were banging the altar boy while accusing us of doing the same.  For all the fundraising, donation to “victim” organizations, speeches for the decades, and media about stopping “sexual harassment” these rich movers and shakers were swimming in pools of victim tears for the modest exchange of a film role.

The mainstream and tabloid press who always tell us about how sexist we are had no interest in accountability when it came to gatekeepers like Weinstein. They were getting too much out of it. It’s almost as if these people don’t believe any of their equality and feminism screeds, but see it rather as a useful political weapon for sappy feminists hung up on tweeting pride for their abortions.

“But Weinstein had a knack for flattering reporters. He once had his staff put together a mock poster for “Page Six: The Movie” — starring George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson and Matt Damon as the column’s authors — and sent it to the newsroom. “

“Unfortunately, everyone likes to be around glamour, right?” said Tina Brown, the veteran New York City editor who oversaw Talk magazine, a much-hyped but short-lived project of Miramax. “All these favors and goodies were cherished by these reporters. It wasn’t worth it to them to disrupt that system.” 

Projection From Pervy Progressives

The very places it wasn’t supposed to happen – the most progressive and “feminist” in America – were cesspools of rape and sexual harassment. Well, these degenerate hypocrites were so consumed by shame and guilt they had to find “worse” culprits and punching bags elsewhere.  So they projected it upon the rest of the populace to alleviate their shame.

These celebrity feminists and their creepy white knight male feminists allies in their twitter tirades projected that since actual rape and sexual harassment they couldn’t or wouldn’t discuss was happening in their ivory towers of progressive safe space feminism of all places, it had to be occurring probably much worse elsewhere in the less educated, too conservative, and non-enlightened enclaves of small town america.

Sure a few here and there spoke up about it, but thanks to settlements and non-disclosure agreements, the moist hushing would continue.  While they were lecturing us about victim shaming and silencing, Barbara Walters would scold Corey Feldman for “damaging” an entire industry when he mentioned the abuse.

Too much money was at stake and Corey is male so his privilege obviously trumps the abuse.  For years the whispers have gone back and forth about pedophelia in Pedowood and deliberate abuse of child actors.  It was shushed away.  Finally, it apeaars that the dam has burst and that more hypocrite fire-breathing paragons of virtue from Hollywood are to be exposed.

Harvey is just the first.  He knows he’s about to be sacrificed to the bloodthirsty feminist aztec gods so in order to remind them of his humanity and his faction loyalty, he issues an official statement that attempts to gain atonement by referencing Trump and about how the NRA is going to be a blood sacrifice- for him raping and harassing women.

His atonement?

I’m going to give the [National Rifle Association] my full attention,” Weinstein wrote, adding that he would establish a $5 million scholarship foundation at the University of Southern California for women directors.”

I’m sure saying mean things about the NRA is going to make those women feel WAY better. The nerve of this man and those like him. All the harassment of women that he derided and the women’s causes he championed are acceptable substitutes because he donated to democrats.  It’s okay when they do it, but if it’s one us backwards to the right of Bernie types, then the SWAT teams need to be deployed to make us pay for our supposed original sins.

Notice their thinking; they can preach about “rape culture” while engaging in it, as long as they pay the necessary dues. It’s typical of these people.  They portray a sympathetic heart that supposedly bleeds deeply for humanity, while undertaking all the fashionable and courageous causes.  Of course they face little backlash from a supposed hostile majority populace who cant afford to lose their jobs with “brave” public posturing.  In their esteemed private lives, it’s acceptable to treat people like dirt on a personal basis because they believe in group causes, not the individuals they belong to – or don’t when considering the rest of us.

 

Living Up To Your Potential is Uncomfortable

“Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential”. – Winston Churchill

Plenty of motivational words have been blathered about “Living up to your potential.” It’s almost abstract at this point. Perhaps the above quote from the brilliant and witty Winston Churchill may be an exception.

We serfs often get used to a daily routine – one that’s very comfortable. While we bounce between loving and hating it depending on whether we are enjoying life, we don’t want to quite upset that balance.

It’s why we settle for the status quo, both on a very individual scale when we are grinding out our day jobs, and simply want to relax when we get home. Living up to your potential is hard.  That continuous effort…  well, I really want a beer and to Netflix and chill with my wife instead.

Of all of the above, I’m guilty.

I work a job with commission opportunities with a low base hourly rate of 9$ an hour. Often, they are happy that you just show up, because so many people don’t when it comes to call centers.

I’ve lasted over 9 months at my job – which is apparently great when you look at turn over rates for call centers. Still everyday I’m at the edge of quitting and walking off.

Because I have a family to provide for, I can’t do that. However instead of applying to new jobs, I just lay back at home when I get off and relax. It’s easy. I want to unwind.

The next morning, I wake up and curse having to get ready to go back to a job I often hate. I’m my own worst enemy, a glutton for the punishment of a comfortable routine.  I’m my own worst enemy.

That’s me.

I actually like my co-workers and both of the managers I’ve had. I just can’t chance not making commission during checks when my family is desperate for money.

Based on that alone, I should have already gotten another job. But this one is easy. I know the systems, the unwritten rules, what flies and what doesn’t – all of which take a few months to learn. I don’t want to start over and get… uncomfortable. Anxious. Unsure of exactly what the expectations will be.

Clearly, I’m hindering my own potential. I’m comfortable in my job routine while hating and loving it every day.  I know so many other people who are afflicted in this same devious manner. But we are too lazy and “comfortable” to do anything about it.

We bitch about the status quo, but content ourselves in it’s comforts. I talk big and loud, but my stick is very small.

This all comes down to willpower.  An honest thorough self-reflection would indicate that I’m lacking that department, or that I pick and choose.  If it’s easy, I’ll leave that comfort zone, but if it’s hard I’ll certainly stay.  Of course this means that my motivation will be lacking as well.

Quintus Curtius calls this Transformative Mental Change  when he talks about the Foundations Of Motivation and that its needed if you want to make a step in the right direction harnessing that willpower – or at least building it.

“This source of motivation comes from an internal decision that we make.  We consciously decide that we want to improve ourselves.  We consciously decide that we want to begin the process of forward movement.  At some point, we become tired of the old patterns and wish for a change.  We wish to push ourselves into new vistas and regions of exploration.  And before we do this, we make a decision.”

You would think having a family to provide for would give me that mental tazing  and wake me from my lackadaisical slumber, but it hasn’t yet.  That desire to do more – still lacking. Have to buckle up. I wonder if it’s an aspect of maturity that I still have to attain – a level of responsibility that has to be shouldered.

The appreciation isn’t seen right away, but the fruit will be seen in full later.  Perhaps I’m too much a creature of immediate satisfaction, rather then a player of the long game.  Again it’s another part of living up to Potential. You want to be all you can be.

If one really wants it, they will grab it without excuse. In a world where excuses are rewarded, I suspect this is why it takes people a long time to finally leave their comfort zone. Why would they?  If they live off the government dole, there is no incentive.  If they live at home and can still have their girlfriends overnight, why bother striving to better themselves?

Then again, if the system is rigged – getting that dollar too much in the next tax category, it may be a symptom of our society in general where the hardest working end up being the most penalized.  This is not an excuse, but an observation.

This is not a call to be someone else, it’s a call to be the best I can be. We take a lot for granted – specifically our continued and assured situations. We never know if calamity, death, joblessness, the loss of transportation could send us to the streets.   It’s almost as if we are living paycheck to paycheck.

An assured, prosperous, and at the very least – safe – future should be planned.  That planning and needed drive have to be used at some point. Sooner rather than later.

How Mass Data Creates Scripted Social Interactions In Daily Life

Ever wonder why half the people you talk to when you want to buy something sound like they are reading off a script? It’s because we are.  When I answer yet another mind-numbing phone call at the call center I work at, I have SCRIPTED responses to people regardless of their questions or what they want.

Often, most of these agents have no idea actually solve your problems because all customer service cubicle clones are half-assed sales agents per company orders. They’ll read some scripted utterances off the call flow, and if they are doing their job description, pitch all the products the company has to offer. Forget the actual customer service part.  Usually it’s done poorly because it’s hard to sell to people when they are flipping out that their bill is wrong or that their internet doesn’t work. Still if you don’t pitch, you’ll see the back door of shame peons.

Remember hearing that word “Recommend”? 

It’s the most powerful word in sales, and 80% of the time that you’ll hear it, the buffoonish liars using it don’t know their head from their ass about what they are recommending.

Yet consumer sheeple fall for it all the time. Why is that?

Must follow script.

Because Experts recommend, and people who “Recommend” must be experts. In Weimerica, experts are the modern priests to always be trusted. They whisper directly to the American gods of pills, shitty products, terrible parenting advice, and diagnosing curious kids full of energy with ADHD.  The equivalent skepticism showed toward those religious Sky god believers has yet to be applied to our priestly expert class. Hypocrites, the lot of  you.

We ask mandatory “discovery questions”, and regardless if you have TV or want a landline phone – most people don’t – we will be sure to “Recommend” and “suggest” that people get that triple play package, even if all they wanted was internet.  My favorite rebuttal that they use is that if you call 911, they will know where you are right away.

Sounds like a great reason to pay 30$ + whatever phone tax there is.  That’s assuming we get past the numerous amount of customers who are set on cutting the cord and replacing cable with Sling, prime, Netflix, or a host of online options.   I can only appeal to a customer’s inner escapism so much to overcome the, “I’m not at home enough to watch TV.”

But back to that call flow, because if we don’t, we aren’t following the call flow – and that’s a diabolical naughty.

In a shocking twist, even if our sales numbers are insane, the company doesn’t care if we aren’t following that magical flow they invested time and money in perfecting. 

Saying that call center scripts are harming your company would be like saying that smoking is bad for your health.

This call flow that must be followed because millions were spent by the company I work for paying data analysts to examine how to trick that extra 5% of people into getting a landline.  Even our attempts to “connect” with our customers are superficial, bordering on soul sucking.  The interaction starts with the following drudgery literally anyone can do and that’s the damn point. For instance:

Thank you for calling **********!  My name is __________.  How can I help you set up your services today?

Assume the sale.  The first lesson in sales.

Once again my name is  ______________. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”

I’m reveling in pleasure over here. I don’t know you, but I’m thrilled to talk to you. I’m your friend, not some random sales person. Feel at ease.  You can buy products from me. You know you want to.

May I have a phone number that we can use to reach with information about your ********** services?

Notice that last word? Services. If you give it, we can spam you with calls later – assuming an order is placed.  It’s dressed up in perfect legal speak.  Like everything else. We are a litigious cursed society filled with lawyers looking to make a buck either on the lawsuit or consulting basis to avoid said lawsuit. Brilliant.  My personal favorite that I have to read off  EVERY DAMN order is:

Can I use the phone number you provided for marketing related information and messages including updates about your installation appointment?

95% of the time this works. If I thrown in a “In case we get disconnected”, its basically 100%. Then again, my vendor’s client doesn’t like that because it gives a bad implication about our service.  What a joke.

We are speaking in riddles and people only solve the part of that riddle that we allow them.  Purposeful misdirect. We are magicians of the illusion. A handful of times people don’t want to give out their numbers because they are only shopping and ruining my numbers – pun intended.  Besides that, this statistical manipulation of the human psyche works wonders. It’s disturbing if you think about it deeply.

That last part of the statement is perfect. It gets you  to focus on the upcoming service you are about to get and not the fact we are going to send you lots of mail. It’s again perfect from a legal stand point, and I’m sure whatever part of the budget they blew on that precise wording has to be followed to the letter.  Can’t have that money go to waste with all the job slashing these days.

The irony is that sales is one of the few jobs you can’t automate away.  If your products sucks in comparison to the competition, silver tongued devils will be needed to ease your worries and present it in just the right way to overcome your objections.

 

Robots can’t rebuttal based on the customers needs – yet.  Corporate still tries to tell to pitch on “Value” which translated without bullshit = “Our products sucks compared to competitiion and is more expensive.”  Again, you might be able to put the right spin on shit, but its still often shit.

Everything and everyone is a damned statistic when it comes to that shit.

People automatically assume manipulation is a bad thing.  If it is, everyone is doing it all the time – specifically all those corporations and governments no one really likes. Every sales agent is being slowly converted into a PR spokesperson, complete with stripping your personality away.

Anytime you buy anything off the phone, a script must be followed to provide the barely legal spin on what the product is supposed to do.  Phrases like Up to“,as much as“, and “enjoy” grab your attention away from the rest of the underhanded mind trickery that is occurring.

Imagine doing this everyday for at least 8 hours.

Your sanity starts to degrade. I don’t even necessarily dread going to work, but answering the next call and saying the same thing – again. Humans weren’t meant to be robotic automatons, but we are a liability for corporations in that finely tuned machine.  You just  never know what we might tweet next, let alone say in confidence. Hell, we don’t even know where all this data gathering itself is gonna lead!

I received a reject from our esteemed quality department where call center agents who are rejects go to feel good about themselves and trip on a limited power high.  Apparently me joking with a customer about their internet speeds being so fast they should rent some to their neighbors for a monthly fee was “unprofessional”.

So much for connecting with your customer.

Humor must be eliminated, as should actual human connection. That call shouldn’t last over 15 minutes, regardless of what has to be covered in disclosures for quality purposes.  What I find fascinating is that so many of the big wigs and head honcho managers haven’t been agents, let alone spent time on the sales floor taking floods of calls.

Despite this they still dictate what should be said and what we can say.  Half the sales techniques I used to use were essentially banned because my vendor’s employers thought that it gave off the wrong implications.  Placing a pending order – a sales floor staple – gone because some number crunching high up types want to tweak those percentages.

Big data cant analyze those variables. Neither cant the scripts we are supposed to ramble in accordance with. But hey, as long as we cover those legal bases and do some pseudo connections with our customers?

Well, this ended up being a rant.

Are You A Red Pilled Addict To Schadenfreude?

Recently I stumbled across an older article entitled “Are Men Still Hunting?”.   The author while an SJW feminist laments that men aren’t the aggressors anymore when it comes to approaching women.  (She follows up here.)  I saw some comments and added a cordial one of my own.

What stood out were comments strewn about how women were reaping what they’ve sown because of feminism and great pleasure was expressed about it. Okay that’s true as well as bits about how approaching can be easily construed as sexual harassment these days.

An overall glance of said comments prompted a realization;  many of us are too busy reveling in womens laments and pain to care about doing anything to help.  All we have is schadenfreude – and it appears to be a serious addiction.  That’s only a few steps away from being a miser who loves miserly company.

Not surprisingly, it was the MGTOWS who here enjoying her lamentations the most. While one phase of the Red Pill is a justifiable anger and bitterness phase, I’m starting to notice a slew of men who don’t come out of it. Ever.

Is this all you have?

Instead of any meaningful self improvement and actually finding a girl they enjoy, their primary driving factor for happiness is the misery of women – feminists in particular.  They are addicted to schadenfreude.  This wasn’t quite the Red Pill you thought you swallowed.

Take for example a post I dug up off the MGTOW boards in which “MikeTOW” admits he enjoys when women are haunted by their bad decisions:

Maybe this makes me a sicko, but I get pleasure when women put themselves into predicaments.

My favorite is when a woman turns down every good man who pursues her only to throw herself at the man who is blatantly a scumbag. Then when the scumbag man mistreats her, she whines and cries about how “there are no good men out there” and “all men are jerks”. Instead of learning from her mistake, she blames men and then REPEATS THE CYCLE!

Back in my mangina days I would try to console those women and reassure these women that there are certainly good men out there. These days I don’t care. And in fact, I find it amusing.”

Okay, yea I get it.  I loathe tumblr feminism as well and do my fair share of blasting self-entitled harpies on RVF boards.  And yes, I do admit sometimes getting satisfaction seeing the worst offenders reap all of the venom they’ve sown – especially male feminist white knights.   The anger?  I understand feeling it the lies we were told as well as the women who rejected us for Chads and now are facing the consequences.

However, don’t you ever feel a sense of sadness for them?    While they’ve bought into and advocate for an ideology which will make them miserable – and those around them, I often desire to apply actual burn ointment to their 1st degree roasted souls.

Obviously, the differeing worldviews make most online dialogue with them pointless, fruitless, and not worthy of your time.   In spite of this when you come across posts like hers, try avoiding another, “haha bitch” type comment that burns as well as points out what feminism has wrought.

Instead maybe just try a semi-neutral heart felt internet hug.  Will another comment debunking feminism change their mind and undo years of influence under a feminist worldview? No.

Here’s a question I would put plainly to them without snark: “What do you really want?”  You’ll find most women do want to fall in love. Romance. Be swept off their feed by a studly chad.   The truth hurts, but it can be presented with chocolates rather then a spear to the stomach.  Honey for the flies instead of vinegar.

I find that when I’ve talked to feminists face-to-face, as well as women in general that are very discouraged with their dating prospect, an honest genuine heaping of advice can get past the normal “blockers” and at least onto the plate as food for thought.  When a critique is done with kindness, the openness can be shocking.  (Plus it helps that they know you have no romantic interest in them – in my case being married and all.)

The Effects of Misery

When women are miserable in particular, it deeply affects them and those around them. Perhaps they deserve it – especially the slut walkers – but do we look past what they deserve for a moment?

Being constantly in a state of war is exhausting – especially when the enemy is a never ending source of social media and blog posts that are filled with venom.  Some rad fems may deserve to be burned by the fire they spew, but is mercy ever an option? I’d like to believe so. That Nietzsche quote about gazing into the monster seems to apply here.

Perhaps I’m mellowing a bit, but at a certain point I’d like to see relations between men and women improve wihout some sort of Mad Max like collapse of society – even if those in question aren’t worthy.    The author in question might have better luck at a Friday Night Magic tournament where she is surrounded by lots of men and almost no women – so why not point it out?

We know many women who wish they were approached by men they would find attractive.  For many it won’t happen.  However, we can at least make suggestions to help them make the best of their chances and interactions without malice dripping from our fangs.     (Especially if we know them.)

Who knows, maybe finding a guy they fall in love with might bring them out of their stupor.  It has for many a woman. Maybe she and they can be one of them – certainly a good thing for culture and society.

Should You Even Bother Grabbing Social Media By The Pussy?

No, you really shouldn’t, but let’s get into the why of the matter.

Newsfeeds far and wide on your Facebook timelines  have probably had at least a few people complaining during Trumps Inauguration in obvious righteous indignation about how Trump is grabbing women by the pussy and some fuss about “sexual assault”, #NotMyPresident, blah blah blah.

That’s merely the main culprit that rises to the top of the other myths being spread by supposed “IFuckingLoveScience” rationalists who populate social media streams with their absolute adherence to logic, reason,  Trump hate, and using the words “fascism” and “Hitler” to refer to anything they don’t like.

Why this focus on a story that is now at least 3 months old?

Via Legal Insurrection
Grab em by da pussy

My guess is that the  bit about him being unconstitutional – which isn’t necessarily an inaccurate claim – fell on deaf ears because those same people screaming about it being violated didn’t care ONE DAMN BIT about our precious constitution during the last 16 years of Bush and Obama.

What they really care about is that the other side is doing it now and is now leveling the playing field hence terms attacks with words like “whitelash”, “fascism”, and dat racism/sexism/phobia stuff.   The “anger” over the supposed attack on a free press – namely just Sean Spicer telling the press how the White House isn’t going to kiss their ass anymore – is an example of how their valued control over the media isn’t having the influence it should on us sheeple.   (Trump is going remember who lied, slandered, and attacked him over the campaign cycle and treat them in a manner they deserve. )

Obama lovers who didn’t seem to have a problem with drone strikes on sheep herders, hundreds of executive orders, starting proxy wars in Syria, plundering Libya, and too many other issues to put in one post never made any squealing noises about it.

I’ve seen it from friends, family, and all across the web.   Well what did Trump actually say concering #PussyGate?  Context is usually important.  No, wait it’s ALWAYS IMPORTANT.  Straight from the fake news that is the New York Times – thought at least they didn’t fall for the golden showers rained on prostitutes anonymously sourced transcript like Buzzfeed.

“Trump: Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.

Bush: Whatever you want.

Trump: Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.

Bush: Uh, yeah, those legs, all I can see is the legs.

Trump: Oh, it looks good.”

Wait, did you see that? In there was this part about them LETTING him do it.    That sounds….. consensual, rather than any nonsensical wails about sexual assault.

Of course, this will never be the end of it.  That odd “enthusiastic affirmative consent” dogmatic fantasy logic that somehow has been implemented in New York and California is applied by our Trump alarmists for a few reasons:

(1) They need some reason – no matter how fallacious, incorrect, and flat-out wrong to weaponize the people on their feed who like 99% of us think ACTUAL  sexual assault is bad with a deliberately flawed interpretation of what was actually said.

(2)  Locker room talk is something these people doesn’t believe exist until their skeletons are revealed in which they’ve been saying all sorts of un PC stuff in their chats, messengers, and snaps.   Here they are simply being dishonest with themselves for purely political reasons because it’s Trump.  Whatever.

(3) The real Kool-aid believers here that actually think this was sexual assault because of the social justice definitions they’ve absorbed as gospel over their time being “educated“, checking their privilege, tweeting in their bubble chambers about oppression, and looking down their noses at us “ist” and” ism” inbred deplorables  have a worldview that is so based in this rhetoric that they can’t see past their own self-induced haze.

(4) Many of these “activists” marched and participated in some rants, signage, and ramblings via the Women’s March about how Trump is supposedly against Women’s rights – whatever that even means these days.

If you aren’t talking about how rape culture supposedly exists on campuses and instead focusing on tackling our trade deficits in the issues on the Whitehouse site, you hate women. If you aren’t spouting more about LGBT stuff, even though we’ve spent the last decade bitching about it = homophobia, transphobia, etc.   That should tell you the intellectual honesty of these people.

No.

NO. You shouldn’t waste time on social media bothering to point out the nonsense conclusions made about #PussyGate.   Now, bothering to share this post and making your own statuses about the dishonesty floating out there is not a waste.

However, I wouldn’t bother answering any loud rant-like spew retorts about it.  Not unless there is that rare chance they are genuine in their desire for conversation about it.   Likely, you will simply make your point, agree to disagree, and move on.

Don’t lose friends or family over it, just spend your time in honest discussion and debate with people who can get past the word “Trump” when they look at the logic of an argument.  I still advise not bothering to do that over social media.  These conversations are best had in person.

An article via the Spectator posted an article about why Trump won entitled, “Trump How Did This Happen,” and it argues how politics became something to be done to us by our enlightened non bigoted peers costal elite peers and in turn treated us like trash.  Us trash grew tired of it both politically and in regards to even bothering to refute the accusation of “racist” for the 100th time.  An astute comment makes this point better than I can:

“There is no adult rationalizing with people who refuse to be adult or rational. In a way (and this is not too much of a stretch), it is a furtherance of these gender “identity issues.” The underlying motive is to negate a fundamental reality so that they can tell you what truth is in any given point in time.  So–by design–there is no foundation upon which to have an honest conversation on ANY topic. They want control, not collaboration.”

Manufactured Outrage Against The Scarlet Label – The Roosh V/ROK Meetups

feminists target with violence, threats, Roosh V, media, lies

People See What They Want To See

feminists target with violence, threats, Roosh V, media, lies
Violence is okay against people we don’t like

I was listening to a podcast in which Mike Cernovich was interviewed by a Muslim feminist Mirriam Seddiq.  The topic was broached as to why he didn’t bother to make it clearer to detractors/haters/trolls that he didn’t hate women, something his then girlfriend and now wife Shauna asked him.  His response to her was that people see what they want to see.

That is precisely what this “Roosh wants to legalize rape” media frenzy is doing as it panders to juicy and downright libelous headlines for clicks.  His detractors, plus people who are willing to believe the absolute worst about someone because “someone said so online”, don’t really care about truth if they can demonize an “extremist” or someone they don’t like.  Rocking Philosophy makes this point perfectly regarding the Roosh V witch hunt:

“Particularly hypocritical is the way leftists pretend not to recognise satire. There have been countless occasions when the Left, with the backing of their media cohorts, have used the ‘satire’ and ‘humour’ defence when they’ve overreached (or they just deny something ever happened). One example is the EndFathersDay hashtag. Another is the KillAllWhiteshashtag. Anything found on website, the Onion, can basically be put in this category, too.”

Remember, it’s only satire when they do it.  You are now seeing  media manufactured outrage at its peak, created in part by rabid feminists like David Futrelle which is where this chain of stories first started a week back.  I wont link to his site, just google, “We Hunted The Mammoth”

The fact that it was a thought experiment in the form of satire is irrelevant – Futrelle the king of disingenuous quote mining – now that a very dedicated mob has their torches and their game-plans worked out.  Obviously, Jonathan Swift was a pro-cannibalism and slavery advocate.

https://twitter.com/rooshv/status/694769625129717760

Well, an article by Snopes debunking the idea that a group of men attending meetups around the world who support legalizing rape has been out for almost 24 hours.

Of course, this hasn’t stopped minor to major media outlets like Chicago’s very own WGN from pretending that this group of heinous vicious possible patriarchal misogynist rapists in the underground volcano are indeed as villainous and their headlines and stories would suggest.

It doesn’t matter that Roosh has made clear that the article in question that has garnered him recent headlines such as, “Nearly 50,000 sign petition to ban pro-rape pick-up artist” and Militant pro-rape ‘pick up artist’ Roosh V organises event for followers in Manchester City Centre  was satire.

That is just out of what is now over 300 news articles in the last several days virtually saying the same thing as they piggyback information off each other with each description of Roosh getting worse than the last.    Strangely vacant in most of them is the disclosure of the satire in question, because who cares?

https://twitter.com/ChateauEmissary/status/695425662052540417

Emboldened indeed.   Below is just in the last hour when this was written…

What’s even more shocking is that the same people who sincerely and utterly believe that rape is VERY bad – as do 99.9% of the rest of the population – have no problem making rape threats against Roosh and any men who plan on showing up to the meetups.

It’s even more ironic that these as well as threats of beatings via baseball bats, castration, and even death are coming from people who often speak out against feminists being subjected to online “harassment” and “abuse”.

Roosh has now been doxxed, something feminists often complain they are threatened with, but don’t seem to show much outrage toward at the moment.

https://twitter.com/rooshv/status/695428904832540675

At least we can say we showed consistent condemnation of the censorship of free speech when #istandwithbaharmustafa trended worldwide on Twitter in response to the nonsensical hate speech laws of the UK, even though she tweets things such as #killallwhitemen.

I explained this to my wife who was seeing articles about Roosh pop up on her Facebook feed and she asked me, “Can’t he do something about it?”  Roosh can do something about it, but his target audience are the observers in the background who will be made aware of just how vicious and downright appalling the conduct of his critics are.

To do this, documentation of the threats they make is essential and this post aims to do just that.

Hear Supposed Evil, See Supposed Evil

Notice how members of these protest groups against the meetups are willing to encourage violence, rape, and death-threats toward anyone who dares attend:

Well now.
“Put a bullet in his head”, “shoot him”, “send him my way, I have a gun ready…”
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100006894649174&fref=ts
Ouch.

Notice that particular quote from Mr. Brent Vee , “Mate if you ever go to Sydney and i gope my boys meet you, belt the f** k out of you, bend you over and rape every hole on your body with every cylinder like object they can find…  I hope you’re chucked into a sydney jail where the boys have a field day with you…

And more…

Did anyone else notice Mr. Daniel Karp uttering the following polite and cordial words, “Im going to smash your fucking face in. You going to be begging for death when I am finished with you.  You fucking piece of shit. Die fucker die!” or the kind words from Victor Rook, “Hey fuck stick, come to ct sometime, I feel like raping a little bitch named roosh.”  Clearly, he believes rape is a terrible thing that no human being should suffer…

“Kick the living shit out of them” Apparently, he really isn’t all that opposed to violence as long as it’s the right people.

Threats And More Threats

Note: Any images that appear are because The Roosh V Forum is currently in private mode due to signs of imminent doxxing, rape, and death threats.  This will change in the near future. 

 

Anyone who agrees with Roosh deserves to have their spleen removed and their testes stomped.  He sounds like a nice tolerant guy.

Catch that as well?

He doesn’t find the idea of rape abhorrent if it someone who he abhors getting raped.  I’m noticing a pattern here.

 

 

  https://www.facebook.com/jacobbenjaminlawrence

 

“IM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU CUNT!!!…”  courtesy of Mr. Jake Lawrence.  Isn’t that kind of violent speech illegal in Australia?


See that? Roosh needs torture followed by a bullet. A perfectly acceptable call to violent action and murder.

What is the common theme that you – most intelligent and perceptive reader – have noticed throughout these posts? How about the following  tweets and posts?

Note, I’m not going to bother to block out any of their names.  This is on them and the public format they are shouting threats from.   Take a look at who the real animals are.


 
  

 

 

 

Violence is bad – except if it’s directed toward a group of people that it’s acceptable to vilify.  So is apparently is rape, that is unless you are raping acceptable targets.  I wonder where we have seen that before.  The tirade of various vicious threats continues.

      

  

 

Speaking of even more death-threats…

 

  

I planned on going to the Chicago meetup, regardless of tough guy anarchists.  Let their tactics demonstrate just how willingly these people are willing to go to silence dissenting.

The Scarlet Label

If you browse through the various comments on all of the media coverage on Roosh, both through social media and the sites’ comment sections, you’ll notice labels tossed our way like “archaic”, “misogynist”, “medieval”, “stone-age”, “rapey”, “outdated”.

What these labels do is determine particular “crime-think” for the unwitting masses.  Your ideas aren’t debated, rather they and any individual who dares discuss them are labeled.

Essentially, the messenger is always shot, or in our case threatened with doxxing, rape, and death.   The messenger deserves no trial to defend themselves because an archaic patriarchal creepy misogynist who supports legalizing rape couldn’t possibly be innocent of all those terrible buzzword labels.

That’s the point.

It literally is Rules For Radicals applied to thought-criminals that don’t subscribe to the cultural hegemony. The “individual” – thanks to digital mainstream culture and socio-fascist SJWS and feminists – is now a legitimate target ranging from their reputations and family to their jobs and even legal welfare.

The “protesters” version of peaceful protest and assembly seemed to involve everything from castration and rape to physical beatings and even death rendered toward the thought criminals who planned on meeting for drinks.

https://twitter.com/basedmattforney/status/695461310277017600

https://twitter.com/basedmattforney/status/695396714853715968

https://twitter.com/basedmattforney/status/695388262676869122

https://twitter.com/basedmattforney/status/695381640399302656

None of their threats had anything to do with “debating” us.  In fact, they were willing to go as far as plastering our faces with all the juicy labels attached – including “pro-rape” – online and in the streets in an effort to cost us our jobs, if not much more.

https://twitter.com/basedmattforney/status/695430516573675520
I loathe feminism and social justice, but never could I imagine going after someone with this level of vitriol and threats – assuming they weren’t already at this level engaging in these tactics, in which you must fight fire with fire.

It should now be clear; our most ardent and slanderous critics aren’t interested whatsoever in debates.  As Quintus Curtius has pointed out in his article, “We Will Not Debate You, We Will Replace You,”

Debate, if that word is to have any rational meaning, can only take place if there is good faith on the part of all participants.  When there is no good faith–that is, when one side deliberately lies and distorts the views of the other–then there are no grounds for rational discussion.

Violence is apparently quite golden when we are in the cross-hairs. It’s even justified against reprobate scoundrels like us in the manosphere, Alt-right, and anglosphere who have been labeled everything villainous under the sun.  We put Bond villains to shame with this newfound level of media created infamy..

We are on the worlds most wanted list of thought-criminals and its time to render unto Caesar what is Caesars; the scorched earth approach to our enemies who have showed no such caution in doing it to us.

This is what operation Bull-Horn is about; accountability by those with a pulpit who have chosen to lie and slander with it – nothing more and nothing less.

If you as a journalist lie blatantly and deliberately, then we will have no reservation in letting your current and future employers, as well as your audience and peers know of your deliberate malpractice.

We will fight back.

1. Through establishing a close support network founded upon trust, loyalty, and “iron sharpening iron” so we can coordinate our efforts to fight back effectively and efficiently.

This is why the meetups were so important and will occur in the future.   In order to truly trust someone, you need to at least see them face-to-face and experience the non-verbals that help sharpen our instincts.

2.  Through words – emails, posts, letters, and even social media posts to generate acute awareness, as well as other various ways, each according to their own.

3. With pictures and video. Whenever the mob threatens action, always have your phone ready, recording every interaction where anything even remotely violent is attempted.

If they are okay with plastering our faces everywhere with the intent to destroy our lives, then we should retaliate in kind when they are caught assaulting us in public.   Violent offenders are a danger to the public, are they not?

Carpe Diem and always be prepared if they do manage to get to you.

 

Rejecting Guilt By Association

Regardless of what mortals you follow, adore, admire, and pay homage you will at some point disagree with them.  Whether it’s most of the time or almost never, no one will ever hold exactly all the viewpoints that you have come to cherish.

A tweet from Milo Yiannapolous prompted the above line of thought in which he voices disagreement with libertarians on the NSA spying incident – color my libertarian tendencies irked.

https://twitter.com/Nero/status/591284596190347264

Obviously, he is mistaken, as his his later tweet about Snowden being a traitor and not a hero.   I’m also above reproach in my conclusion. 

Today, the internet echo-chamber or “communities” as we call them is often bereft of any actual substance in discussion when it comes to disagreement over just about anything.  Dissenters are labeled “concern trolls” or just “trolls” in general.   In fact the word, “troll” has lost it’s meaning because of the abuse of the term.

Throw in “safe-spaces” and this takes on a whole new layer of people who immediately dismiss anything that comes from an opposing side.   If you make the mistake of identifying with a label that is considered “bad” or triggering, everything you say is immediately dismissed – regardless of the validity of what you say.

We need to start judging statements, comments, and opinions based on what they actually are –  the merit and validity of them – instead of who said them.    Whether they come from a radical liberal feminist or a neo-con warhawk, it shouldn’t matter; we need to reject guilt by association.

Encountering the “Other Side”

Take for example Cindy Brandt’s site/blog which I recently came across and her post, “You Don’t Need To Tell Me You Don’t Agree.”   She actually makes alot of good points, despite certain… social justice affiliations.

Well, I don’t agree.   Okay, I couldn’t resist.  Take a look at this specific observation:

“Which one of us agrees on everything with any other single person? No one! Certainly, many of us share similar passions and congregate according to common interests, it’s only human to interact with those who you resonate easily with. But if you dig deeper, or you spend enough time together, it isn’t long before one discovers there are indeed some, if not many points of disagreements with those we are in relationship with.”

As she points out, no one will  ever agree on everything, but with today’s identity politics and culture its often either all or nothing.  If someone doesn’t share enough “similar” passions, interests, and convictions,  chances are that most people won’t give anything they say the time of day.   This is more likely if they know about your “opinions” and affiliations before they evaluate what you’ve actually said.

“If we are honest with ourselves, adding the phrase is a form of social insurance. We want to protect ourselves from the risk of being associated with certain things this person represents. “

It certainly is a form of social insurance, but why?

People seem conditioned to pre-judge and make assumptions based on labels and what they “represent”, so what choice is there but to adjust? Unfortunately, this is the reality of where we are at.  It rather sucks that these qualifiers are needed, but can anyone point to topics of conversation where they aren’t?

The risk of being associated with someone who is deemed a racist, bigot, homophobe, ect or any other culturally deemed demagogues can be cause for your employment to be revoked. Consider Razib Khan who was initially hired by the New York Times, but then let go because of his “association” with right-wing publications who were deemed to be mired in racism.    So much for diversity of opinion right?

Whoever was working here must have spilled this paint...
Whoever was working here must have spilled this paint…

Shockingly, the fact that he isn’t even white was enough to save him from the wrath of social justice warriors who usually excuse certain people from terrible actions, deeds, and statements based purely on their genetics.  Another mighty journalism giant bows before Gawker and SJWs.    Apparently, all you need to do is label someone a racist enough to make them suffer the effects of today’s modern heresy.

For instance, Cindy describes herself as “social justice-y” on the side bar of her site.  GASP!

Someone, pull the alarm.   Danger is near.

  My spidey sense is tingling.

Now a large amount of people will probably dismiss anything she has to say because of the affiliation with social justice.  Don’t make that mistake; don’t fall prey to guilt by association.  I  may fall to this ever constant trap subconsciously, but then force myself to read what is actually state.  Some exceptions are made for Tumblr…

I strongly disagree with almost everything  modern day social justice folks advocate – what normal sane person wouldn’t – but I won’t necessarily dismiss something because of who is advocating it.

“We can dialogue with people as people, other human beings with different personalities, life experiences, and ideas. We can celebrate common ground without erecting walls or drawing boundary lines. We can connect without disclaimers, embracing the whole of our conversation partner along with her ideas. Let’s base our conversations with one another from a place of shared humanity instead of basing it on fear by association. “

Is this really possible? Can we connect without disclaimers? I don’t think we can.

Tales From The Online Crypt

I recently encountered and “argued” with some conservatives on TheRightScoop about the subject of police abuse.   Obviously, they deny this is a real problem.  In order to even get them to look at anything I have to say, I had to utter the following disclaimer, “I’m not a democrat…”

This is of course true, but if I didn’t point this out, said conservatives would assume I’m some sort of liberal because I disagree with one of their viewpoints.

Behold, the current state of online discourse.

If you disagree with someone on an issue you are immediately considered to be a follower of the opposing “side”.   If you disagree with some of the trash on the Huffington Post, you are a right-wing bigot, ect, ect, ect.   If you take issue with something on Breitbart you are left-wing marxist, socialist, ect, ect, ect.    Qualifiers are absolutely necessary.

“The power of association, of tribes, of communities, is so strong that we take extra measures to ensure boundaries are clearly marked, compelling us to insert disclaimers even in casual conversation. We are so fearful of being grouped with the “wrong” crowd as perceived by the person we are speaking with.

I do not think this is a healthy way to dialogue. I think it is a sign of disrespect to curate someone’s ideas, extracting it from their whole selves with all of their complexities and personhood.”

She is right; it’s not a healthy way to dialogue.   Yes, we must consider the context of a person – if that makes sense –  which is necessary to fully understand their ideas and why they have them. However, in today’s charged, “guilt by association” culture, you absolutely have to introduce qualifiers into the conversation or anything you say will be dismissed based on you supposedly are.

The need for safe spaces...
The need for safe spaces…

One popular “Debate” tactic is Godwin’s law.   To sum that up, it means that you equate a certain argument, idea, or even person to Hitler.  This of course invalidates anything they have to say.  Or does it?

Just because Hitler said something, doesn’t qualify it as being incorrect – such as his radical environmentalism, state control of “healthcare”, ect.   In fact, I’m sure almost everyone today holds some positions that Hitler advocated on economics, state control and power, and the environment.

Color me shocked.

This time-held tactic is “guilt by association/wrong by association” and is employed by disingenuous teenagers, tumblrites, and many adults who want to shout down others based on who they are, rather then what they’ve said on extremely important blogs and websites where their comments clearly make a difference.

 

Don’t be one of “those” people.

People who engage in daily displays on their Facebook feeds in guilt by association tactics usually have something in common;  they are angry, upset, and jaded.

Their life is a never ending stream of  un-fulfilled selfies, self-loathing, and vicious attacks on anyone who looks like they wallowed in depression for weeks upon end.   All of these bitter people online have one goal in mind; if they can’t be happy – neither can you.

Go outside of your bubble and live.

It’s been said that you can’t argue with certain people, and that is true. Argument however shouldn’t be the goal of every interaction.  You don’t need to “win”.    All you need to do is engage, discuss, and see if any new seeds are planted in either your mind or your “opponent.”   In order to any of that, you must reject guilt by association.

Perhaps, you may just develop a relationship with someone where you don’t need qualifiers, but you must take the initiative to do just that.

I encourage all to go out and have face-to-face conversations with people you know you disagree with. You will be surprised at what happens when both of you or others involved have a conversation that isn’t based on “convincing” anyone of a particular point, but is focused on the exchange of ideas and worldviews.

This is how you grow and become a more rounded individual.

 It is one of the first steps in today’s vicious culture in becoming a renaissance man.

Reject guilt by association.

Weight Loss and Caring About Your Friends

How much do you care about your friends?
How much do you care about your friends?

A friend of mine has been struggling in the dating market – to put it simply.  She wants a guy that is attracted to her, and she wants to share in that same reciprocity.   We will call her Liz.  A Facebook status about it went up.

(Disclosure: Liz had a crush on me for a long time.  Her weight was the main reason I didn’t share the same feelings.  You can’t force attraction. ) 

Now Liz isn’t exactly the most attractive girl, and the fact that she is overweight doesn’t make it any easier for her to improve this.   Most of her friends posted things like, “Oh you are sooooo pretty,” and “Guys will and/or should like you for your personality.”

I decided to be more honest, though I made sure to cushion it, “It wouldn’t hurt to lose some weight.”

Sensible advice right? Weight loss is one of the most effective ways to make yourself more attractive, assuming you are overweight.  Your 20s are a time when you should be making the most out of your looks – regardless of how limited they may be.   It is when you are at your physical prime.

Heresy.  

Getting to a normal healthy weight?

Damnable fat shaming, body hate social media heresy.

One response involved something like, “Those people are shallow anyway, they should like you for who you are, and they wouldn’t be worth it if they don’t like you now.”

That’s flattering and to some extent is true, but it doesn’t nullify the fact that the potential dating pool of nice guys who may be interested in Liz for her personality and who she is are far and few between.   Then then throw in the percentage of “those”  nice guys who Liz is actually attracted to and the prospects are rather grim.

It is in fact a comfortable lie, but it ignores a fundamental truth; People are shallow. I’m shallow. Even those people who are not are very unlikely to give her a chance to reveal her inner beauty.

Instead of telling Liz the truth like real friends would, they continue to lie and tell her things she knows isn’t true.

As Andrew from TheRulesRevisited pointed out, in regards to a guy and his girlfriend,

“When you do these things, you are letting your girlfriend wallow in her mediocrity. If you tell your friend that she looks good when she doesn’t, she isn’t going to make an effort to look better next time”

You can boost her ego, but that won’t help her situation get any better. It also won’t promote REAL confidence.

Liz’s situation isn’t unique. It’s far more common then we realize and it means that there is a large group of people all seeking romance, but doing it with what is essentially a paper bag on their heads when compared to the more in shape parts of the population.

Basically there is an abundance of overweight people who don’t want fellow overweight people, but the slimmer more attractive folks they see in TV shows and film.   We all want a mate of the opposite sex who is more attractive then us.  (Excluding the 5% or lower of “other” sexual attractions.)

Don’t believe me?

A Large Nation-Wide Problem

 

Obesity and curse of being overweight have struck our society hard. Romance – or at least the possibility of finding it – is made even more difficult for a rather large percentage of the population:

  • Percent of adults age 20 years and over who are obese: 35.1% (2011-2012)
  • Percent of adults age 20 years and over who are overweight, including obesity: 69.0% (2011-2012)

Let’s not pull punches.  Being overweight and obesity has killed members on my dad’s side of the family because of things like heart disease, diabetes, and sleep apnea.   Thing is they already know about this and about how bad it is, but it’s so hard for them to lose the weight and there is a rather scary reason for it.

If we are perfectly honest, if you were overweight as a kid, it’s much harder to lose weight as an adult than it would be if you at a normal weight as a kid.

“The number of fat cells a person has is determined by late adolescence; although overweight and obese children can lose weight, they do not lose the extra fat”

What can we do with inconvenient truth?   Well, I could encourage her to “accept her body” and hope things get better.  Natural confidence right?  It won’t change the situation and it isn’t going to magically attract any “good-looking guys” to her,  but it should make her feel happy and proud about her body.

According to the body and fat acceptance crowd at Identities.Mic it will.

“The intersectional issues of size, health and weight loss are far more complicated than we’ve been led to believe, and this lack of understanding has led to weight-based discrimination becoming a serious problem across the world. Widespread anti-fat prejudice typically stems from misconceptions about health, weight and body positivity, and negatively affects millions of people every day.

People are allowed to make their own decisions regarding their own bodies, but we need to start treating people of all sizes with respect.”

Somehow, I don’t see how this is going to help these overweight people find the storybook romance they so desperately seek instead of the in-game WOW partner we are encouraging them to quest with.  Nor will it deal with the vicious health problems that will occur once you hit your 30s and later.  Note some damage is irreversible, and when that becomes the kind of body power/acceptance doesn’t seem very “feminist” to me.

Now, your life doesn’t exactly stop when you are overweight – nor should it,  but will you actually get the romance and love life you desire from the people you are attracted to?  The crew at RandolphRiot definitely seem to think so.

“Fat Fashion is all about women feeling comfortable in their own bodies no matter how big they are! This form of feminism is helping women feel empowered by their own bodies no matter how small or big the woman might be, and I believe that is an amazing accomplishment. This gives me hope!”

Hope.  It’s a big deal – for anyone. In fact without it, people have loss the will to live.  It can motivate you, but is the self-backlash worse if you realize the hope is false and/or misplaced?

“…Do you think this form of feminism can lead to the elimination of the perfect body image?”

No.

Because people are visual creatures, and because some kind of “preferrable” standard will always exist.   We can eliminate all the current media driven standards on beauty and any words used to describe them, but culture will simply form new ones.    Why?

People are shallow.

I’m shallow.

However, most people aren’t going to wade through the unattractive waters to see if anything desirable lies beneath. Liz won’t be given the chance.  Perhaps those guys who don’t give her the chance aren’t worth it, but the guys who will?   Chances are, she isn’t going to be attracted to any of them.   I’ve seen it happen many times already.   Is there still a chance for the magical and mystical quest that is Romance?  Some fat-acceptance advocates on Psychology Today seem to think so:

“Love, sex and romance did not stop for close to a hundred million people! Let’s face it—we live in a culture that shames fat. An entire diet industry is built around that shame

We also live in a culture that shame cigarette smokers, but I suppose that doesn’t count. Well, is it shameful to encourage people to be healthier?

“The message that is being delivered in great big heaping doses is pretty simple: if you lose the weight—you will find love, romance and sex. Thin equals happy and entitlement. Fat equals broken and not worthy. What they don’t tell you is that there are plenty of unhappy thin people too. Thin is simply not the magic bullet”

She actually is right, but it will greatly increase your chances. People might actually give you a second look on Tinder before they swipe.  They might be more likely to help you out in the store – happens to me alot.  Guys might actually look directly at you for a while before looking at your friends next to you.

Is this mean?

At this point in the social justice epidemic, I can’t be bothered to care anymore if I want to continue merely drawing breath; thanks Tumblr and feminist fat acceptance screeds.   However, boosting their self-esteem by lying to them isn’t going to land them any more success in the dating market.   It doesn’t mean that they should give up and stop trying, but things could be much easier.

In case you don’t know, I’m actually a hopeless romantic.

Deep down, I want everyone to find someone to live that idea Notebook life with – that includes social justice warriors and ardent radical feminists.  I want them to experience love, romance, and that good old life that I myself desire.

Something else the manosphere has got wrong is its reaction to the fat acceptance movement and this whole “fat shaming” theory that is raging in the feminist blogosphere.   I’m not shocked that overweight obese feminists want to abort beauty standards, “cultural norms” of what is attractive, and the ideal body weight.  You would too if the men you were interested in were getting snagged by more attractive and fitter competition.

However, Fat Shaming” isn’t the answer.    If I’m brutally honest, I found ROK’s #fatshamingweek to be hysterical with some of their tweets.  Yes, I still find dark morbid jokes that deal with obesity to be funny.  (All or nothing when it comes to my take on comedy and what the limits are.)

https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/389951326534111233

As Mike has later realized, this does nothing to actually help, besides generating outrage, which it did very successfully.  None of that however is going to convince people to lose weight.  They already know they are overweight, and they know it is affecting them.    The hope you can provide support to the people you value in continuing to help them lose weight, exercise, and even diet.

What Can You Do?

If you really care about someone, you present them the cold harsh truth, but you are supportive in how you do it.  You are essentially giving a friendly critique, rather then a trolling criticism designed to make them feel more shitty.

Here’s a personal story that relates to my family:

My dad who was about 5 foot 7 inches and weighed over 360 pounds struggled to be able to do any exercise.   He started to rapidly gain weight when he hit about 23 and the weight just kept adding up.   Around 48, he started experiencing nausea, dizziness, feeling light-headed, and he was drinking an excess of water as he felt constantly thirsty.  He was was exhausted and never felt rested; his sleep apnea made this even worse.

A similar weight, lack of exercise, and bad diet had killed my dad’s father at only 54.  I was worried about his weight and so were my mom’s parents in particular.

What woke my dad up was finding out that he had the signs of type two diabetes.   From this point, he did everything he could to try to improve and change his diet.  He started to eat only whole foods, and avoided processed foods.  When he ate meat, it was grass-fed.  He would switch to actual raw milk.

Upon reading “Forks Over Knives” and doing a lot of his own research, he would become a Vegan for dietary reasons.  Fast forward just about two years and my dad has lost over 120 pounds.  He reversed the type 2 diabetes, has lower blood pressure than me, and has no signs of heart disease.

Just over a year into his Veganism, he started to be able to finally exercise, play floor hockey, and feel refreshed and full of energy.   (Note, I’m not a Vegan.)

That support is key.   Once you hit a certain threshold, it becomes VERY difficult to lose weight, like it was for my dad.  Often people’s jobs actively hinder exercise and our American time centered culture usually entails to many people frequently eating terribly on the run.

Often, I see many people in the fat acceptance movement promote the same kinds of lifestyles that killed my Grandpa so early as something to be embraced. It is isn’t and it rather angers and disturbs me that the movement is lying to people in the way it is.

However, that won’t blind me from the fact that it really is hard to lose weight, my dad being the anecdotal evidence.   My dad’s life didn’t come to a stop just because of his weight issues, but they were a profound barrier and hindrance to him living well, active, and actually enjoying each day.

People in the Fat Acceptance/Body Acceptance movement will stand by it, but sometimes it’s critics – myself included – overlook the efforts they put in to trying to live healthy lifestyle, being active, exercising,  losing weight, and trying to get healthier. (Diet may be the easiest approach at first.)  Instead of trashing them, we should be encouraging them.

Take for example a somewhat better known fat acceptance advocate by the name of Ragen Chastain who runs the advocacy site, “Dances With Fat”.   While we may facetiously chuckle at the title, Ragen is on the frontlines fighting the fat fight – but doing at least some of it in a healthy way.   She teaches a dance class, does some dancing herself, as well as from what I can tell some form of exercising.

Dancing is very good exercise.

She of course is a social justice advocate, member of the “fatosphere”, an ardent feminist, and she brings awareness to tumblrisms like, “Thin privilege,” in her fight against “cultural beauty norms”.  It perturbs and saddens me.  She lists more about her ideas:

As a plus-sized professional athlete, I practice Health at Every Size and as a human being I am an unwavering advocate for Size Acceptance – the civil rights truth that every body deserves respect and that the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are inalienable, not contingent on size, health, or dis/ability.

Wait what?

The civil rights truth that everyone deserves respect…  Well,  with ideological opponents, you often have to agree to disagree.

She also promotes health at every size.   What exactly is that?  Well according to her it is:

 

  1. Accepting and respecting the diversity of body shapes and sizes

  2. Recognizing that health and well-being are multi-dimensional and that they include physical, social, spiritual, occupational, emotional, and intellectual aspects

  3. Promoting all aspects of health and well-being for people of all sizes

  4. Promoting eating in a manner which balances individual nutritional needs, hunger, satiety, appetite, and pleasure

  5. Promoting individually appropriate, enjoyable, life-enhancing physical activity, rather than exercise that is focused on a goal of weight loss

Well there is plenty there that I and others would point out is wrong, but instead let’s focus on what she said that she get’s right which I’ve underlined and bolded.   At least she is trying to do better and get others who struggle with weight to engage in things like, “Life-enhancing activity.”    In fact, she does actually have some decent diet and activity ideas worth checking out.

(She actually finished a 26 mile marathon in Seattle about two years ago.  For her size and weight, that’s pretty damn impressive. I haven’t even attempted a marathon that long.) 

Good for her.

Hopefully, she lives a well-fulfilled life and enjoys every moment of it to the max.  I do however suspect that if she lost some weight, her beauty wouldn’t be as obscured.  Like it or not, people are more respectful, are friendlier, and more partial to those they regard as beautiful.

Insisting that everyone is “beautiful” at every size isn’t going to magically make it so.     Reducing the word so that it means essentially nothing won’t change that either.   It will just be replaced by words like, “preference”.

That is the point.  

If you want to widen your net to include more attractive dating partners, you will have to make an effort to do the same.   This may be shallow, but it’s something that will never change – regardless of how many times social justice warriors insist that it just merely another cultural norm that must be eliminated.

Encourage your friends to widen their nets by losing weight.  Yes, you can be happy and still be overweight, but you could be so much more.

Speak up.  

 

Don’t be afraid.

 

Tell the truth.

 

Support them.