Pandora’s Sexual Box
Rod Dreher may be labeled a cuckservative on many an occasion, but I find his blog at the American Conservative to be quite relevant to the situation of many Christians and those shocked liberals who wonder how such an “immoral” man like Trump could have been elected president.
He makes the following point in a post about the accusations swirling around G.H.W. Bush and Weiseltier and how loose the definition of sexual assault is and what it means for our kids when they enter the dating market in their futures.
“In this climate, I can well imagine that people are scared to death to show the slightest romantic interest in anybody in the workplace, for fear that they’ll be accused of “sexual assault.” How are people supposed to meet each other for normal human courtship, then? I ask this as the father of two sons and a daughter. I don’t want these kids to grow into adults who sexually harass or who are sexually harassed. But I also worry about false accusations that could ruin them professionally and personally. If you aren’t worried about this too, you aren’t paying attention.”
(Yes, I do actually enjoy reading Rod and I think the Benedict Option is a worthy alternative.)
While the left has been annihilating any of the Christian moral foundations to American law and culture, they haven’t come up with any coherent worldview to indoctrinate the populace and the “identity” based alternatives they offer have caused a backlash from people who don’t want to turn the other cheek.
In fact, they don’t even care about being Christian. It’s a nominal thing for them just like it is for those Muslims who were born into it, but prefer life in the West with booze, drugs, and fast sex. They have no “faith” to hold them back to the moral high ground.
Indeed, a wake-up call for those who were convinced that the less “religious” people became, the more “progressive” and educated they would become. I suppose Trump’s election are making a few on the left quite woke.
Now remember, when prudish backward bigoted Christians pointed out the Pandora’s box that would be unleashed with unbridled and encouraged sexual degeneracy, they were dismissed, ridiculed, and of course labeled.
Now that the box is open and the Titans are wreaking havoc without restraint. Women, like men, were encouraged by feminists to engage in sexual deviancy and meaningless hook-ups in a culture and system that still retained the foundations and some men influenced by the Christian moral framework.
That’s gone. Tinder is here, and everyone is meat.
Those of us who don’t lie to ourselves know that men and women respond to sex differently and that women regret one night-stand far more than men. Obviously sex being more emotional for women and physical for men is misogyny.
Well, now the cultural identity left is forced to scramble to rectify the new imbalances created when they opened Pandora’s box. That includes the “Dear Colleague” letter on Title IX, an ungodly obsession with “sexual assault”, the constant attacks on “toxic masculinity”, demonizing of any male spaces, and an overall attempt to make men pay – in anyway possible – for pumping and dumping.
It has already turned the dating scene for many men – and women – into a nightmare. High insane unreasonable standards are thrust into normalcy. Blue collar men are thrown out of pool right away and single mothers and divorced women in their late 30s to early 40s are treated as potential booty calls at most.
The Depressing World Our Children Will Inherit
I try to avoid a pessimistic mindset when it comes to the future, but in this situation and circumstance the current reality seems to be growing worse. Me and my wife have two young infant sons.
What will the dating world look like for them when they go out and try to find a woman worthy of marriage? (Which means definitely not in the workplace anymore.)
As their Father, I will impart into them all of the “Red Pill” knowledge and wisdom I’ve accrued – admittedly not that much compared to better men out there. However, I fear they will be punished for their realistic attitudes, noble intentions, and their eventual ascent into manhood.
Rod makes a good point as to the kind of world our kids are going to enter when it comes to trying to find a spouse. I too am wondering just how far this insanity is going to go – on top of the increased hatred of men that my sons are certain to experience in a bleak future.
If they go through a similar “prodigal son” phase as I did, will it cost them everything? Will I have to tell them to video record their encounters just in case they have bad judgement?
If “affirmative” consent is being seriously considered – which it has via implementation as law in places like California, what will that mean when my sons engage in actual flirting, mannerisms, and “game” that makes women actually want to talk to them, date them, etc? Will asking a girl out immediately equate to “sexual harassment”?
Before I met my wife, I would go to bars with friends. I recall one time where a semi-drunk girl came up to me and started grinding on my body a bit as I was standing with my back turned to her. She also kissed my neck. She gave me that “Ewww” vibe.
I didn’t see her as attractive and I wasn’t looking for an easy bang/getting laid that night – more of a guys night out – so I nicely and gently pushed her away and went to the other side of the bar. I wasn’t harsh about it, but it took a bit of effort to claw her off me so to speak.
I didn’t give her permission. I certainly wasn’t “inviting” it with my demeanor and behavior at the time. Was it sexual harassment or even sexual assault? If you accept the feminist concept of it, then you bet your ass it is. Should I post #MeToo and try to find out who this girl is shame her, get her fired from her job, etc? Apparently so.
Rod links to a series of tweets by Cathy Young who makes some astute points on what we are unleashing:
So about this story (thread). https://t.co/mgOXq8PvtG
— Cathy Young (@CathyYoung63) October 24, 2017
On the other end, I’ve done similar things. I’m a firm believer in physical touch and slow escalation when mingling out in public – granted touching ones arm, shoulder, etc. If a girl didn’t like it, they usually moved away from me or in the very rare case would tell me not to touch them. That was the end of it.
So it comes down to that “permission” concept. The sexual revolution and it’s current sense of how any kind of sexual anything goes doesn’t seem to reconcile with how sex and human interaction works. Yet the irrational idea of “affirmative consent” is making its way out of colleges and into law.
It used to be a given that if you were with someone, even married to them, usually you didn’t need “permission” to initiate affection with them. Now this is under scrutiny, if not direct assault.
My wife doesn’t get “affirmative consent” from me when she wakes me up in the middle of the night when she’s feeling a sudden burst of passion. Sometimes I go with it, sometimes I end up pushing her off – both often in a semi sleep state which she tells me about in the morning. (In my defense, I have a high sex drive, but wifes is even higher.)
By the logic coming from these people on “sexual harassment/assault” every couple must be doing it to each other every day. Sometimes I’m tired and I don’t feel like having sex, but I oblige my wife who desires the release. Again feminists will find it border line rapey – diminishing the true horror the concept should incur within us.
That leaves us in a place where anyone scorned has massive power. Eventually it will go overboard the Salem Witch Trials and have a stop put to it. Thing is, how many relationships and people will be utterly ruined before that happens? The tally is rising in the moral paragon of Hollywood and media who lectured us about our bigoted misogyny and these shitlists of the accused are coming out all over.
We let this sexual “freedom” out of the bottle, but we never did examine those implicit parameters which guided it prior. We assumed the nature of the beast would be enjoyed in the same way it was before. Now people are finding out everything has to be “set in stone” to the point of killing how humans sexuality and romance actually occurs.
Now we are in for a turbulent unpredictable future – something that doesn’t bode well for allowing a society to remain stable.
“If the sound of happy children is grating on your ears, I don’t think it’s the children who need to be adjusted.”
― Stefan Molyneux
They say a picture shows a thousand words and the picture below certainly does when it comes to the horrifying tragedy that is child abuse.
The death of Jaxon”Jax” Burnette was one of those horrid incidents that transcends much of the current political and cultural climate. People really – and rightfully so – think child abuse is horrible. People were worked up. Groups were created dedicated to getting justice for Jax. So to that that end Facebook groups, comment sections, and all the rest shrieked in anger.
After that it died out – with a few shrieks here and there. So in this aftermath we need to do some serious adult talk time among ourselves and ask, “What have we learned?”
Probably not much. In fact, we will probably see this same story again, people will express their noble outrage, and then it is back to the grind. (I understand, I have a life as well.)
If there’s anything I’ve realized over the last few years, it’s that the desire to burn someone at the stake or throw tomatoes at the criminal in stocks has never gone away – regardless of how educated, enlightened, or progressive we have gotten.
We have this ravenous unquenchable desire – almost on the level that fuels our sex, survival, and hunger drives – to be able to point at “villains” and in the process allow us to feel better about ourselves.
“At least I’m not like that guy!”
We need to shame, pass judgement, and feel above them. Now in the case of Jaxon, those of us who aren’t abusing children are better than those who are not – at least on a moral level. However if we aren’t careful, we could easily be brought down low to their level. Most people don’t like the idea of that, so they remain perched in their high moral ivory towers.
They writhe with righteous anger and indignation, call for the abusive parents to be taken out an shot, and spout about how shocked they are that something this terrible could happen. Almost reminds you of how people change their Facebook profile to flag stripes of whatever country suffered yet another terrorist attack. Then they forget all about it.
It should make you question how much they actually care vs how much they wish to be perceived as people who do in their contrived sermons of indignation. A dirty little secret is that most people don’t truly care.
The Mob Isn’t Really Interested in Preventing Child Abuse
The mob – righteous this time in their outrage – entirely missed the underlying factors which created the situations that led to the horrible tragedy that happened to Jax. No one wants to attempt to understand what was happening to his parents because they fear it will be misconstrued as excusing their vile behavior.
Most of the tips, hotlines, and advice out there are for AFTER-THE-FACT instead of focusing on early stages. It’s similar on how always focus on “healing” the patient, but never on the preventative care to help avoid the injuries, diseases, or conditions in the first place.
Raising awareness about child abuse is useless if we aren’t doing “real talk” with people close to us who have young kids as well. Because of the danger of social media shame mobs that could cost you your job and future prospects, no one who is about to snap from the pressure and lack of sleep will reach out for advice.
They don’t want to be shamed, nor admit that it’s much harder then they EVER thought it would be or that they had those horrid thoughts in moments of sleep deprived anguish. If we can’t talk about it without the worry of someone reporting them to CPS, then many of these stories will repeat.
Something I’m now just finding out is that no matter what you do, kids still cry – especially infants and toddlers. If you’ve done everything possible, just let them be. You aren’t a bad parent. Instead of trying to be super hero parents, we need to encourage those around us to take a step back when stressed. If you have to put your screaming infant in a car seat in the bathroom for 15 minutes and turn the fan on, so be it.
That stepping back is key to stopping yourself from starting down the dark path to child abuse. Preventing yourself from getting to that path can’t be understated. Just like in Fargo, you can avoid that final woodchipper death by never getting in bed with devious criminals in the first place.
When our second son Nehemiah was born, the hospital made us watch 3 videos about proper care for your infant before my wife could be released. One thing that came up was the case of Jaxon “Jax” Burnette
In conversation about it, a nurse told us that Missouri – where our second son was born when we lived there – had the most incidents of child abuse. Sure enough in 2013 alone, there were over 61,000 reported cases in Missouri of which 31 died. Most of the children were all under 4 years old – which is the stage where the most work, patience, and energy is required by parents.
(Note this is not a dig at “Fly-over country” or anyone from the South in particular. The child abuse epidemic is widespread.)
Dig back and harrowing stories pop up. Tons of other cases of shocking child abuse. I’m not talking about spanking a tantrum raging 5 year old or a mother slapping a disrespectful teen, I’m referring to REAL child abuse. Story after story. Some of the ones listed below were the ones that stood out most to me.
- A 10 year old girl down to 32 pounds, locked into a closet wallowing in her own excrement in a modern day vicious twist on Cinderella. In contrast, her two sisters were well fed and cared for.
- A mom beats her 17 month old girl to death and tries to pass it off as death from a spider bite. The terrible bruises around the neck, face, and the rest of the body would undermine her story to the point the police chief said it looked the girl had been in a car accident.
- In Springfield MO – where me and my wife currently live – a 7 year old boy and 2 year old girl were starved, beaten, tied to chairs, and thrown down stairs. “The toddler was so malnourished, hair was falling out. She had scratches and cuts all over her body. Her feet swollen causing her toes to turn blue.” How did it get that far?
- A 37 year old woman sodomizes and rapes a two old boy, while having her boyfriend video tape it. Obviously this goes way beyond physical child abuse. The boy will be scarred deeply for life.
- A 17 year old babysitter burned a 8 month old baby girl with a curling iron. Blisters were on her head, bottom of her feet, and all over her legs. To top it off, the babysitter then said the mom burned the baby girl further with the iron to shut her up.
What do all these cases have in common when you read through them? How did they ever get to this point?
“SCREW CHILDREN! That’s the mantra of the world. Instead of burying them with a national debt, shoving them in shitty schools, drugging them if they don’t comply, hitting them, yelling at them, indoctrinating them with religion and statism and patriotism and military worship, what if we just did what was right for them? The whole world is built on “screw children”, and if we changed that, this would be an alien planet to us.” – Stefan Molyneux
A lack of patience, self control, and selfishness.
Unfortunately, the millennial generation in particular – of which I am a member – is often too busy or consider our futures to unpredictable and unstable to have kids. Some still end up remaining a burden, even after they grow out of their infant stage – an indictment of our selfish culture that excuses it’s loathing for children by contrived hysterics about not throwing more money into education. (The home environment, not their school is where stability must be established.)
Still, despite various precautions babies happen planned or not. Thing is they either are born to parents
often just one parent these days who don’t really want them, don’t want to adapt their lifestyle for them, or can’t be bothered to have the patience that those first few years of a child’s life demand in high volumes.
So what do we do about it besides shrieking and going back to our normal lives later?
Step Out Of The Shadows
We need to encourage those who are struggling as first-time parents without support to come out of the shadows and to open up. People will always judge, but plenty of us have or are still in the shoes of those who are new parents that are susceptible to “snapping”. Maybe part of it is pride holding them back from wanting to admit it to themselves.
New parents need to know that they can take a break for a moment. Leave the room for 20 minutes. Hug each other. Call a friend on the phone for support. Maybe even leave the car seat, bassinet, or port-a-crib in the bathroom with the fan on for a bit.
Frustration and Anger are powerful emotions.
Even those of us with the best self-control need to realize we are human and we have to step back at those key moments where you honestly just want to punch the wall, throw the bassinet across the room, or curse the day your child was born.
Step back. Realize what’s happening. Take a break. Yes, in case people try to misconstrue what I’m saying, child abuse is terrible and wrong. Let’s get to the root to help stop it before it bubbles to the surface.
I’ll give you a personal example from months back when my son was an infant. I had this logical desire to “fix” the situation and rational methodology to do it. Of course I forgot as I often do that babies sometimes will cry regardless of what we do.
It’s part of being a baby. (Start letting them self-sooth from a young age or they might not be able to sleep with you rocking them to sleep!)
I can recall being in a frustrated and utterly exhausted state. I shouted “Shut up!” at one of my boys. I’m pretty sure I threw an expletive in there.
Moments later after the frustration had been released, I’ll felt quite bad for yelling. What was it going to do? What were the implications in the future if I was setting an example for them from their earliest years that yelling was how you dealt with frustration?
“They are only babies”, I’ll realize again for the umpteenth time moments later. Just a few days before that, I was so agonized by my three month old son Nehemiah loudly and incessantly crying that I simply picked him up, put him in our bed, propped him on some blankets, turned on the fan to drown out noise, closed the door, and went into the other room to get away from it.
Eventually he fell asleep.
Plenty of people will think admissions such as this make you a monster. They don’t. If said people were honest themselves for once instead of trying to virtue signal some kind of moral high-ground to scold the rest of us from, they’d finally look in the mirror and see the truth for what it is.
None of this stuff comes from out of nowhere. It bubbles. It nags at you. It builds to the point where you are ready to explode. Well, we need to slowly twist the cap off. Recognizing you have a problem – as they say – is the first step to leaving that stage of denial.
We’ve become a society who doesn’t want to admit weakness because there are plenty of people who only seek your demise or exposing your pain for the rest of the world to judge.
Seeking Support In The Right Places
I’m trying to avoid being political with this post, but I’ll mention one detail. A close friend of mine mentions how Trump never apologizes for wrongdoing. I suppose he has a point. However, considering the current cultural and political climate, would you apologize?
“Just apologize,” they say. Why then does it seem an apology is never enough? In today’s polarized social media climate, unlucky targets either have to resign from their job, close their business, or much worse.
Side notes: Whatever you do – DONT post on social media the inner real thoughts you are having at the moment. People will go after you, despite having similar thoughts themselves in the past. Also DO NOT go to social services. I hate to say it but government employees and even hospital staff can’t be trusted.
You just never know if someone with a grudge will falsely accuse you or try to make your life hell. If some bored pranksters on the internet can figure out where you live and send prostitutes and pizza to your house, people with access to your private record can wreck havoc. Play it safe.
People don’t seem to want an apology. They want mob justice and vengeance in order to signal their participation in the fervor. Few things are deemed as bad as todays popular “ists” and isms”, but child abuse is one of them – as is the potential to become the one doing it.
Go seek the help, advice, aid, and support of people who really know you. Go talk to your close friends and family and tell them what’s going through your mind and how you feel like snapping sometimes. They’ve been through it and they can help guide you past it.
They actually care about you and you want you to become the best parent you can be. Of course they care about your kids and want the best for them, just as you do.
So much of the terrible stories of child abuse we see today all over the news can be pre-empted early. Let’s encourage people to realize and get the support they need earlier rather than later.
The tough early years of no sleep will pass. Right now its already being replaced with a new challenge for me and my wife; the constant requirement to watch them as our oldest Julius runs fast and grabs anything he can, and our youngest Nehemiah crawls.
Now we have to be more aware. Just the other day my youngest was trying to eat the rather large crumbs and food – a choking hazard for an 8 month old – left behind moments before my oldest son.
In fact my oldest now knows what “No” means and he either throws himself, gets angry, hits you, or all of the above. Yes, there is a difference between discipline and punishment.We now undertake this new adventure.
Godspeed for all you parents out there. Support and help is there.
Ivory Tower Perps
For the last decade we’ve heard non-stop awareness rantings about how rape culture was literally everywhere.
It was in the gutters, Walmart, and in our very currency. Lecturer and preacher-in-chief- Harvey Weinstein, an outspoken champion of women, was there to tell us about our evil male rape desires.
Apparently so were all these other Hollywood actors, media personalities, and semi-plutocrats with lots of power and money telling us that “rape culture” was interwoven in the very fabric of our culture and lives. It reminds of me of that video where a girl was getting arrested and eventually resorted to screaming, “RAPE!!!!!”
They are obsessed with rape culture, because they are the one’s perpetrating it.
Look at that list of Hollywood, media, and cultural movers and shakers who’ve been accused of nefarious sexual deeds and harassment. It keeps expanding by the day.
For them it was their way of life. Those bumpkins of us who rejected their screeds were labeled everything from KKK, MRAs, and Nazis to Misogynists, sexists, and patriarchal bigots who wanted anything “female” in the kitchen, barefoot, and pregnant. We just had no idea how terrible we were in comparison to where the sermons were coming from.
Surprisingly, all the problems they worried about all day and night were occurring, it was just that odious self-righteous attention was in the wrong place. It wasn’t university campuses where drunken students couldn’t remember if they “consented” or not. Nor was it the random creep patrolling the parking lots for a violent movie like attack. It wasn’t even that family member in small town america who likes guns and trucks where all of us misogynist bigots live that want to hold women down. Nope, not even the prisons where the term “Rape culture” actually came from.
It was them the whole damn time.
Credit for the inspiration for this post goes to a recent Aurini livestream in which they discussed Harvey Weinstein and the predatory actions of the Hollywood titan producer dropped a following thought bomb that got my brain waves going.
This was of course deliberate distraction from the real culprits like Harvey Weinstein who donated to the right party – democrats – who looked the other way as they virtue signaled to the rest of us. The feminists behind “Free The Nipple” would give him special thanks even after her harassed the director/actress behind it.
Rape culture was taking place where the people of power and influence were – Hollywood, media producers, ect. You know, where all that “A LOT of power+privilege” stuff actually exists. It was where the movers and shakers with their casting couches, freaky fetishes, and ability to turn people into stars and give them famed careers occupied in their luxury office and studios – for a steep price.
It was even in White House where outspoken fundraisers for progressives causes and politicians like Harvey Weinstein were cutting 10,000$ checks to Bill Clinton’s defense fund against Monica Lewinsky. Even his corporation was willing to tolerate his behavior by having his contract written in a way to allow sexual abuse. These sick degenerates were infected and spreading their disease from the top down. It’s an infestation.
Preaching from a high pulpit, they were banging the altar boy while accusing us of doing the same. For all the fundraising, donation to “victim” organizations, speeches for the decades, and media about stopping “sexual harassment” these rich movers and shakers were swimming in pools of victim tears for the modest exchange of a film role.
The mainstream and tabloid press who always tell us about how sexist we are had no interest in accountability when it came to gatekeepers like Weinstein. They were getting too much out of it. It’s almost as if these people don’t believe any of their equality and feminism screeds, but see it rather as a useful political weapon for sappy feminists hung up on tweeting pride for their abortions.
“But Weinstein had a knack for flattering reporters. He once had his staff put together a mock poster for “Page Six: The Movie” — starring George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson and Matt Damon as the column’s authors — and sent it to the newsroom. “
“Unfortunately, everyone likes to be around glamour, right?” said Tina Brown, the veteran New York City editor who oversaw Talk magazine, a much-hyped but short-lived project of Miramax. “All these favors and goodies were cherished by these reporters. It wasn’t worth it to them to disrupt that system.”
Projection From Pervy Progressives
The very places it wasn’t supposed to happen – the most progressive and “feminist” in America – were cesspools of rape and sexual harassment. Well, these degenerate hypocrites were so consumed by shame and guilt they had to find “worse” culprits and punching bags elsewhere. So they projected it upon the rest of the populace to alleviate their shame.
These celebrity feminists and their creepy white knight male feminists allies in their twitter tirades projected that since actual rape and sexual harassment they couldn’t or wouldn’t discuss was happening in their ivory towers of progressive safe space feminism of all places, it had to be occurring probably much worse elsewhere in the less educated, too conservative, and non-enlightened enclaves of small town america.
Sure a few here and there spoke up about it, but thanks to settlements and non-disclosure agreements, the moist hushing would continue. While they were lecturing us about victim shaming and silencing, Barbara Walters would scold Corey Feldman for “damaging” an entire industry when he mentioned the abuse.
Too much money was at stake and Corey is male so his privilege obviously trumps the abuse. For years the whispers have gone back and forth about pedophelia in Pedowood and deliberate abuse of child actors. It was shushed away. Finally, it apeaars that the dam has burst and that more hypocrite fire-breathing paragons of virtue from Hollywood are to be exposed.
Harvey is just the first. He knows he’s about to be sacrificed to the bloodthirsty feminist aztec gods so in order to remind them of his humanity and his faction loyalty, he issues an official statement that attempts to gain atonement by referencing Trump and about how the NRA is going to be a blood sacrifice- for him raping and harassing women.
“I’m going to give the [National Rifle Association] my full attention,” Weinstein wrote, adding that he would establish a $5 million scholarship foundation at the University of Southern California for women directors.”
I’m sure saying mean things about the NRA is going to make those women feel WAY better. The nerve of this man and those like him. All the harassment of women that he derided and the women’s causes he championed are acceptable substitutes because he donated to democrats. It’s okay when they do it, but if it’s one us backwards to the right of Bernie types, then the SWAT teams need to be deployed to make us pay for our supposed original sins.
Notice their thinking; they can preach about “rape culture” while engaging in it, as long as they pay the necessary dues. It’s typical of these people. They portray a sympathetic heart that supposedly bleeds deeply for humanity, while undertaking all the fashionable and courageous causes. Of course they face little backlash from a supposed hostile majority populace who cant afford to lose their jobs with “brave” public posturing. In their esteemed private lives, it’s acceptable to treat people like dirt on a personal basis because they believe in group causes, not the individuals they belong to – or don’t when considering the rest of us.
Regretfully for the last 10 years, I watched plenty of porn which aided in my frequent and fervent masturbation each day. It gave all sorts of bizarre inclination and fetishes. Porn showed me how the bodies banged, loud wails, and how many holes could be stuffed at the same time, but not much else.
Easy access on any device, a quick jerk and release, and I was back to my video games, reading, or anything else I felt like at that moment. Time was being used efficiently. After watching some gangbang for the zillionth time, I clearly knew more about getting laid. All was well. Was I lacking anything?
What was lacking is that I still didn’t know how to approach, talk, or much less make the moves on girls so any of that glorious fun looking sex would come my way. Touching and stroking would apparently moisten things up if I got to that part where my fingers and lips were welcomed, but I wasn’t sure about the rest. We saw the penetration, but not how a guy actually got a girl to desire that with him.
When I finally bust from my virgin cage and began to actually have sex with in-the-flesh girls, I ran into moments where I couldn’t get or stay hard. Instead of being as ravenous and filled with testosterone like King Kong, I would suddenly be unable to perform – something devastating for both parties involved. Imagine the excitement of knowing you were gonna get some and the confidence blow when you go limp.
What was happening?
A recent phenomena in secular and Christian circles encourages teenagers and college students to wait till their late 20s to 30s to get married. One must wait till they are financially stable, out of debt, and raking in the big bucks after finally establishing their career – which will never happen for most of us until we hit our late 30s if we are lucky.
During that time you better abstain from the sex, avoid that porn, and stop thinking about how you really want to be enjoying all that meaningless sex your friends are having while you wear your own kind of chastity belt having kissed dating goodbye. You avoid that porn as much as possible, but the addiction begins – one that’s affecting many Christian men (and women). In fact something like a third of visitors to porn sites are now women.
I was a product of this – though my dad encouraged me to get married to alleviate my desires. Of course, I was picky, selfish, immature, and irresponsible. I wasn’t looking for a wife just yet, but a “best friend” and someone who wanted to mate frequently.
Supplementing my technical “virginity” with porn, I held on to that sacred virginity as long as possible so I could claim some moral high-ground. Eventually I said to hell with it and went on my journey of debauchery. I didn’t reject my faith, but I certainly wasn’t going to go to church and bother with guilt.
Perhaps I was lucky to experience the “player burnout” rather quickly and realize that I wanted to find a wife with which to raise a family – and have plenty of sex with of course – and devote my time less to pursuit and more to worthwhile activities.
Game And Beyond
I had to learn game. Friends gave me advice. The internet gave me stories. Podcasts, videos, forum boards, and all those misogynist sexist bastards shared the details of what women wanted and turned them on, rather then what they said they wanted.
Embracing my inner confident asshole, I never looked back. My conquests came through, and my confidence rose to levels of those lucky nerds who gets the girl in those vapid and misleading movies. In my nerdy days, those romantic happy endings were in a galaxy far far away of which I lacked access
Those problems I mentioned earlier however didn’t evaporate. Lurking like a nagging and unscabbed wound, they poked at me.
I recall Davis Aurini mentioned on a stream how men with girlfriends or wives would often jerk off to porn instead of having sex with them. Their natural attraction toward the feminine body which should have given them rock hard boners was being subdued and withered.
These words stuck me, because what he described was exactly what I was doing – even when I hit my “prime”. I supplemented actual sex with porn, often preferring the porn to any “real” girl. It was easy, took less effort, and was warping my mind and ability to be aroused by a REAL woman.
When I met my wife, we had intense sexual attraction. Our secretive and risky adventures to have sex would give way for daily and comfortable sweat sessions once we got married. This has never stopped – yes we still have sex every day.
What also never stopped until recently was me using porn on the side. While me and my wife had watched some together to get ideas, I would often watch it when she wasn’t around. During her back to back pregnancies, it made her feel worse and worse as her body confidence took massive hits due to the natural weight gain of pregnancy.
In fact, at points I couldn’t get hard without watching porn before I had sex with her. As you can imagine, it made her feel like crap. Furthermore, I was often only able to oblige her to sex twice a day because my drive had decreased from jerking off to porn during the other parts of the day.
Yes, you did read that right. Sex only twice a day on average instead of more because my wife’s sex drive is that high. That’s how much she is attracted to me, loves me, and wants me. I was letting her down. Her great body that should have been driving me crazy was being ignored for people who meant nothing to me on the web.
Porn even made me lazy. I wouldn’t do any at home workouts and my “desk job” managed to pack on an additional 30 pounds making me officially overweight for my height. Still through all of this, my wife strongly desires me.
I’m lucky gentleman. Yea my game is good as are my looks, but how many men can say the same in a similar situation? My wife is just that loyal and into me.
I could have very well permanently sabotaged my relationship and marriage to get that momentary high from watching and jerking to porn.
My wife deserves more. She deserves all the sex she can get from me, regardless if I’m feeling horny or not. Porn only lowered my libido. It’s a dangerous drug that’s hard to give up. Even still, I sometimes feel permanently altered from its affect when me and my wife go at it.
It’s a lesson I will teach my two sons. I encourage all of you to do the same and be careful – even using it as a stimulus for you and your wives. Avoid it. Your wife or girlfriend has a body that you should ravish. Study hers and do exactly that.
Sometimes the old wisdom from those prudish puritan conservatives and I daresay insane raving feminists who disprove of porn for opposite reasons can be correct. Plenty of studies tell us about the ill effects of porn on men and even on women who have developed addictions. You just don’t take those effects seriously until it happens to you.
“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.” – G.K. Chesterton
A while back, many in the anglosphere noticed that many of the notorious “PUAS” were reaching the end of their hedonic treadmills. For some like Roosh, they were entering a new season of life. Those of us who had discovered the Red Pill knew there had to be more. We realized that the West had to be rebuilt with a solid foundation and a legacy that couldn’t be based on hedonism, bashing feminists, or have an identity built on opposition.
Note Roosh’s startling admission a few months ago that goes to show were he is now:
At the height of my PUA days, I declared feminists as my enemy. They were degenerate, anti-family, and promiscuous. This was at the peak of when I embarked on behavior that was degenerate, anti-family, and promiscuous. My attacks against them were one way of relieving the guilt and discomfort of my own behavior, since most of the girls I slept with had to have feminist thoughts in their minds to allow me to gain easy sex. I was experiencing pleasurable orgasms with the enemy in the evening then writing about how bad they were the day after.
We were staring into the abyss and it was turning us. While pretending to flush the sewage, we contributed to it while calling the girls who put out easy sluts. What was the point at the end of it? Were we doing anything useful? Building the kind of culture and society that we kept pointing out was being destroyed, but deliberately contributing to its very destruction?
There is a next step. Some of us may not be able to to take it and for that I will not pass judgement. But those of us who can must, and so we have. I’d like to bring your attention to two new sites in particular that I believe are of vast importance to building that foundation – one that wont be built off bashing feminism, sjws, and a myriad of other things that ARE NOT in our immediate local context to effect.
A Kings Castle is what I believe is the next evolution of ROK, except it focuses on fathers and families. Those two subjects are essential for the stable foundation and prosperity of any culture and society. It’s staffed by multiple men who all are fathers and husbands who are doing their part to try and promote healthy family growth and life. Demographics is destiny and a demographic that is composed of strong families is what will build rise from the ashes of what is left of American culture. You’ll notice that the race obsession isn’t a part of that.
The other is Jacobite Mag. A particular article of theirs, “The Right Needs Joy” struck me. It argues the definition of Thomas Aquinas in that joy proceeds from love and the truest joy is ordered love that focuses on the very things that deserve that love. The following point is devastatingly accurate:
“This sort of joy is in dangerously short supply. Many on the right, especially those who identify as “Alt-Right,” spend massive amounts of time rejoicing in the pain of those with whom they disagree. The fact that videos about “libtard meltdowns” and “Butt-Hurt Crying Hillary Voters Compilation” have far more views than videos about Shakespeare, Alexis de Tocqueville, and Dante’s Commedia, should tell us something. Young conservatives and reactionaries, much as they flail their hands at the death of Western civilization and the loss of wisdom, do very little in the way of actually preserving the beauty and truth underlying this great tradition. If joy is truly a result of love, man must be very careful to develop the right affections in his breast. Right now many on the right seem hellbent on cultivating affection for dank memes rather than for truth, goodness, and beauty.”
“When not mocking, many give way to the temptation of defeatism, resentment, and self-congratulation. One of the clearest examples of this habit is the use of the “red pill” metaphor. While it has some communicative merit in expressing how fundamental many of the disagreements between progressives and traditionalists are, it is a troubling metaphor. It encourages a gnostic view of truth and happiness, in which only those who have seen through the fog of progressive brainwashing can recognize any meaningful truths. While I certainly agree that contemporary progressivism is a suicidal ideology, many virtuous, dedicated, and intelligent people ascribe to some part of it while still recognizing aspects of reality. Insofar as these people are living in the truth, they are able to properly rejoice in it. Meanwhile, many who rightly critique the emptiness of the progressive project fall into habits of resentment and unhappiness that actually moves them farther away not just from joy and charity, but truth itself.”
If we want to Red Pill anyone, we have to lead by example. How much joy can you have if your primary purpose is destruction and schadenfreude instead of laying down roots and a foundation? The Alt Reich could learn from this. Or they can continue their descent into blaming instead of building.
They’ve been consumed by hate. Instead of building families they writhe with hatred of jews, blacks, and whoever else can be blamed for why their life isnt what it shouldnt be. What a terrible way to go. They’ve missed what will really rebuild not just “whites”, but everyone. Yes, that includes our black brethren in the cities.
Stable families that show love, laughter, faith, truth, beauty, goodness, and a reason to get up tomorrow morning with a purpose and hope in life. We need to focus on what we can actually affect – the lives of those around us. This is done through families that can build up the community and the lives of those in our community. It’s probably the primary point that the authors of A Kings Castle will hammer home; focus on what we can affect instead of national politics and scaremongering.
See this happy face?
That’s my son. Him and his younger brother will build a legacy that affects our families, friends, and neighbors. That’s how you Red Pill the world around you; by showing them how it’s done. We will outbreed those who so throughout endorse abortion and create a new foundation built on the shoulders of those who came before us.
We will build marriages worthy of remembrance and praise. Our children will rise to the top bringing those around them on the ride. The community around us will see our lives. We will live, drink, laugh, and not be brought down by the things in life we CANT control. There is a better way and we will show it.
I’m far from perfect – of that my wife will assure you. But damnit, I’m going to keep going forward and showing those around me that life is worth living, the future is worth building, and that even in the darkest of times and despair there is always a reason to keep going.
Charlottesville has been all over the news for the last few days and it’s big. It’s been on almost every Facebook feed expanding to people who aren’t even very political. A common theme emerges. The Alt-Right = Nazis. All those Nazi Larpers in the background with their swastikas, armbands, seig heils, and all of that nonsense have tainted what the alt-right could have been; what it should have been – an alternative to Neocon weak conservatism.
At this point, the Nazis and the Hitler “lulz” trolls can have the label. Perhaps critics were right all along and Spencer’s supposed claim to the label ensured it was doomed from the start. Perhaps that’s all it was: a bunch of race obsessed, jew hating basement dwellers who were literally consumed by hate. (I tire of the Jew hating – oh and by the way – I found out I’m part Jewish!)
We’ve been trying to highlight for ages how vicious and dangerous AntiFa is. While they haven’t killed anyone and it’s probably a matter of time, some demented mentally unstable nazi wannabe did. He deliberately murdered a woman with his car in ISIS fashion. That’s all people see, and it’s all they will see – even though there is more to the story.
They wont see the vicious AntiFa violence there. They won’t see how the VPD not only stood down, but deliberately herded the “UniteTheRight” protesters into the path of AntiFa. Sure enough, the police would vanish and leave the two groups to fight it out Gangs Of New York style. This alone implicates that the authorities in heavily urban democratic cities are essentially cooperating with AntiFa. Shocker. I am Jacks complete lack of surprise.
Instead of seeing any of this, people see what was obvious – actual Nazis throwing up salutes, chanting “blood and soil”, and the works. How can any sane person look past actual Nazi flags and not associate who ever else was there with being a Nazi. Instead of kicking them out, you let them in.
We on the dissident right wanted so badly for the Alt-Right to become something – such as an actual alternative.. Now it’s done. Finished. Left to what appears to be actual damn Nazis. You wonder how foolish, stupid, and ignorant of history these people have to be.
When I looked at the Alt-Right, I thought the Nazi Larpers were a small minority, just like the AntiFa are with the progressives. Obviously they would be purged just like Conservatives of the 1950s purged the John Birch Society
I was wrong.
Obviously Nazis must be denounced, even though the left isn’t going to denounce AntiFa – who have communist sympathies and ideology. (An ideology thats killed 10s of millions.)
I enjoyed their trolling, the hilarious memes, and even chuckled at those terrible jokes that triggered the easily offended progressives to the point of Hillary herself reading them to a national audience.
They were the new 1950s conservatives and and all of us in the Dissident Right sphere were the rebellion fighting against a cruel evil empire. “It was the left’s turn for their sacred cows to be violated!”, we all told ourselves. We were the new anti-establishment. But that’s all we were.
What The Hell Have We Been Doing?
Rebels. With barely an articulate cause, because the “normies” weren’t worthy of wasting time for the glorious explanation from the budding Hitlerites. That’s what the 1488 Larpers insisted in their glorious socialism. We all thought they were just in it for the “lulz”. Instead they eventually believed their lulz. It became part of their identity.
Wasn’t building white identity supposed to be about building one that isn’t based purely on opposition and hate? How about redeeming the very concept from the popular mainstream slurs and showing it as something that isn’t about “supremacy” and superiority, but about simply being proud of your ancestors, heritage, and legacies they have built?
Instead they memed and kept whining about how their aren’t enough white babies, all the while refusing to bother to even take the first steps to attempt to create a family and make more of them! Apparently the inability to do that was the fault of “minorities”, Jews, and mixed mongrels like myself.
Yes, we all have been saying that demographics is destiny – both on the left or right. It is. We in the Dissident Right and the normies at large must outbreed the left who keeps murdering their babies in the womb. Encourage the feminists to keep doing it.
Yet you ignored core strategy and the public schools indoctrinating the kids we do have. Instead of throwing your weight behind men like Vox Day – someone who I disagree with on various matters -who are creating alternate platforms, you rallied to Spencer, Anglin, and other malcontents who were outright disasters for the Alt-Right every time.
You ripped on the men who actually tried to create families by marrying women from overseas for their horrid race mixing while you jerked off in your damn basements. You stomped on Christendom and called for a return to paganism, ignoring the fact Christianity is what built European identity and made it great. Well, you can have your weird cultish occult symbols, your rabid blinding hate, and blaming of everyone else for your drug epidemics.. That’s surely and identity that we need.
Their irony turned into sincerity as Common Filth pointed out. It was with a horrid shock that we realized they actually believed all these things. They really did loathe blacks, jews, and minorities to the point of revulsion. The hate had consumed them, their glorious Nazi identity and white identity based almost completely on opposition to others who were to be blamed.
Kind good hard-working immigrants don’t exist in their world. Mixed people are somehow tainted. Diversity regardless any valid reason is always terrible. Hispanics are all criminals. All black males are criminals. My personal experience working and being around all these “minorities” are all apparently anomalies. Yeah, okay.
Let’s get real here. I have mixed race family, and I’m not just talking about my moms side and our Armenian halves. My half-white/half-black cousins are twice the people than any of these Nazis and supposed White Nationalists are. If push comes to shove, their well-being is my priority.
How’s that for punching right? How does it feel after you shits have been punching right every damn day about how we didn’t blame the jews enough or were too cuckish?
Instead of pushing truth, beauty, goodness, and the Christian roots which made Western civilization, we ignored the Nazis as best we could. It’s now to our detriment. They were never the alt-right. But with one protest that accomplished nothing, they took the label and burned it like the KKK did a cross.
Dickey Spencer claims victory while Baked Alaska may never see again and Heather is now dead. Antifa or not, she’s dead. Alex Fields who hit her, scared or not, will be raped in prison. Lives have been lost and ruined for Spencer to have his “leadership” moment.
Forget the label. He can have it as well as some “peaceful” ethnostate he’s wants to work toward while somehow “peacefully” removing “non-whites” from their homes who have been living there for generations. That’s not evil at all.
We Should Have Been Bold
It should be OBVIOUS that any movement that doesn’t purge Nazis is a non-starter. No sane person will have anything to do with it, let alone should. Instead of that purge, interlopers in the Alt-right and even some in the Dissident Right decided that somehow “Nazis” were on the right. Somehow, someway those in the Alt-right actually believed the leftists propaganda of the last 50 years that “Nazis” are somehow right-wing.
You know, despite all the totalitarian and authoritarian positions that are held by many leftists today. Jonah Goldberg made this point abundant in “Liberal Fascism“, but they couldn’t be bothered with it because he’s a jew. We aren’t punching right.
The Alt-Reichtards were never “right” to begin with. Just because AntiFa is their enemy didn’t mean they were our ally. This was constantly lost on people. The enemy of your enemy is not always your friend, as so many people in history have realized by the end of a sharp spear.
What many of us in the Dissent Right failed to realize – myself included – was that many on the alt-right, particularly the White Nationalists, didn’t have any actual “identity” besides opposition to SJWs, BLM, radical feminists, and “anti-racist” progressives, etc.
Yes, we all didn’t like how “white” had become a pejorative and that white people shouldnt be ashamed or need to check their privilege. This came from mixed race people like myself. That should have been the sign.
As the Z Man pointed out,
“Put another way, if being pro-white is only going to mean anti-black or anti-Jew or anti-Asian, then it is never going to be a useful identity group. It’s just going to be the nullification of other identity groups. That’s not a movement with a future, because it’s definition lies outside its control. It’s why feminism is curdling into a home for barren spinsters. It’s just a list of grievances. In order to avoid that fate, white identity is going to have to be a positive identity that defines itself, independent of the rest of the world.”
This is what the movement has turned into. Constant blaming of Jews, Blacks, and every other group under the sun. Those racial purists couldn’t even realize that not only do historical demographics constantly change – like they always have, but that it’s changing right now. George Zimmerman was labeled a “White Hispanic.”
Articles are being published by crazed feminists about how lighter POC need to check their privilege or else they risk becoming white. It probably won’t be long until mixed race individuals are thrown into the category. (Remember that the Irish, Italians, Greeks, etc weren’t considered white until the 20th century.)
Despite this, they decided it had to be the core tenant. Insanity. Then the White Nationalists among us decided that Nazis were somehow acceptable, even though the Nazis historically didn’t mind killing and trying to subjugate the Greeks, French, Slavs, and Russians. They weren’t even about bloody white supremacy!
Western European identity has been dying. Instead of figuring out why, blame was placed solely on blacks, jews, and all those other marginalized groups instead of where it should be: the heretical French Enlightement and the secularists that destroyed the foundations and burned the roots of what made Europe great.
Seriously, ask yourself? What is actually left preserving in Europe. A new identity will be born, but it won’t be one that can’t exist without other groups around to blame to fuel it’s existence. Christendom which built Europe is already being rebuilt in Africa and South America.
While you’ve been raving and ranting about their IQs, Christianity has been transforming the area. There are already more Anglicans in Africa, than in the rest of the world. The next pope will be African. But no, you couldn’t get past the racial element.
Yes, we were with you for limiting immigration, securing the borders, diminishing the destruction wrought by globalists elites, bankers, and self serving corporations. We were with you in the fight to stop the feminist annihilation of the relationship between the genders and the nonsensical victim crying of social justice. We were with you to fight back against political correctness.
We even tolerated Spencer’s vicious attacks and disdain of Christianity while ignoring the insanity of a “white ethnostate” in the US. We sympathized with the vicious attacks wrought upon people branded “white” on a daily basis by progressives. I will teach my sons (75%) white to be proud of their heritage, who they, and to never apologize for any actions of their ancestors. I will however teach them the difference between Nazis and pride in who they are – something you couldn’t do.
But you had to let the Nazis larp with you. Well, enjoy your label. The people going out there to punch Nazis certainly will. The label is toxic because you let it become so.
Signed a saddened member of the Dissident Right.
A lady on the morning news is a few streets down from me showing everyone the prevalent and widespread flooding from recent vicious storms. She talks to a few people nearby I’ve never met before. Two of the girls want to drive through a newly created pond to grab breakfast. Another guy is closely watching his half submerged house for flooding in critical areas. I don’t know any of these people, yet they are my neighbors.
Another day, another Trump headline. Some shootings in Chicago again. Crazy stories and revelations on the Drudge Report about a Russian lawyer no one’s ever heard of. CNN with shady coverage. Cringeworthy topless feminists trying to break up a Woody Allen concert.
Virtually every story I come across that I give attention to has no effect on my daily life. I “know” so much about what’s going on all over the world and nation, but just until today, I had no idea how bad the flooding damage was in my neighborhood and in nearby towns. In fact, I barely know what’s going on in people’s lives. Yes, I am busy creature with my wife and kids, but it’s far easier to share a Facebook status or meme than it is to get involved locally.
Plus I get to virtue signal to my own group that I’m woke. I’ve done my duty for the day and can avoid paying any more attention to the depressing hitsquad media circus in the current year. Of course, I’m able to do this because my life isn’t terribly hard at the moment.
I used to think that the majority of Americans are apathetic to the “important” stuff happening in the world and nation – and to some extent I still think that’s true – but how much can you care about riots in Berkeley when your basement is flooded and everything you had down there is trashed?
We often ask why all these sheeple don’t care about all the important stuff we know is important, but why should they? When I worked third shift, it was a second job for most of my co-workers. They were working 16 hours a day and sleeping maybe 5 if they were lucky. They didn’t have time, and anything they did wasn’t going to be spent worrying needlessly about things they couldn’t affect. Is it really apathy when they barely have time to sleep?
Time is the ultimate resource, and for all the time I and others bitch about nonsense happening on College campuses to celebrities lecturing us, none of it matters to someone who is spending all their time trying to pump water out of their basement.
I and many of us in this dissident right sphere have ignored our neighbors for national issues. We’ve ignored the struggles, trials, and chaos that plagues those around us to formulate musings, observations, and rants about feminism, social justice blatherings, and vacuous journalism. Say what you want about guys like Jack Donovan, but at least he’s creating his own tribe with which to live his life.
I’m back in Illinois – and looking at moving to Wisconsin the future, and I can’t help but notice that people don’t have time to care when shitholes like Waukegan, Zion, and North Chicago are filled with the hopeless who can’t find jobs, drug pushers on the street, and people begging you for money and cigarettes on every corner. Regardless of whether you loathe or hate Trump, he has no idea who you are and isn’t going to bail you out of your shitty life situation. Neither obviously will his critics.
We keep looking for political saviors to improve our lives, but we find none because the national is never focused or concerned on the local – even more so for your smaller towns. Washington DC doesn’t care about you. Chicago doesn’t care about the small towns in the rest of the state. (There’s a reason urban and rural concerns and voting is so different. )
If we want to convince people to care about the problems that face our future, we have to make their future one that is worth living for. The friends you make are the ones that will hear you out because they know you, care about you, know the investment you have in their lives, and they know you are going through the same crap they are thus forming a mutual identity. No one REALLY cares about those that aren’t like them or in the same plight.
Mark my words, this is what will drive a new cultural class identity – not race or ethnicity. Anyone with brains already knows that there’s little worth preserving in France, that Japan disdains foreigners, and that Europe’s problem’s didn’t come from refugees, but from the terrible bitter fruit of the cursed French Revolution and Enlightenment. But no, let’s blame the Jews and blacks.
Yea we can be woke with our statistics about true crime, but until communities are rebuilt, it’s pointless virtue signaling to our own crowd and arguing with people online who have never met us and consider us loathsome deplorable chem drooling hicks from the Appalachians who apparently deserve to die.
Online persuasion with irritable keyboard happy strangers is a fool’s errand. Until they meet us face-to-face, their hatred will always blind them to the fact that the suffering of people who aren’t a “minority” or marginalized group actually matters.
Stop going to fight AntiFa in Berkeley or some other peaceful, prosperous, and devoid of poverty liberal city. Focus on your neighbors instead. If AntiFa tries to show up to where you live, then fight them there – hopefully with locals and neighbors who don’t care about politics, but see AntiFa as invading scum who are the Fascists they claim to fight.
We want to be on the frontlines “making a difference”, but the frontlines are our OWN communities. That’s where the war has to be “fought”, where it’s always been fought, and it for sure as hell isn’t for those who troll mercilessly on twitter with no attachments to a communities people in real life. It’s for those who are willing to strain their backs, babysit their neighbors kids, and actually get off their damn smartphone and learn that actual face-to-face conversation is what builds trust, community, and stability for the foundations of the future.
Online Movements Are Nothing Without Local Community
Ask yourself, how much do you have in common with those in online communities besides overlapping parts of your worldview? If you perished tomorrow, would you be missed? Would articles be written? By no means should any relationships and friendships formed online be denigrated, but are your forming quality relationships with your neighbors? If a Ferguson erupted in your town, your and your frantic neighbors would share the same terrifying situation.
What’s left of the Alt-right is already proving to be narcissistic feuding degenerates all wanting a piece for themselves and to rule it from their arm chairs, while throwing each other under the bus. The online presence is often just that; online trolls to personalities either spamming books, asking for patreon donations, or meming from sun up to sun down. (I won’t denigrate the meme aspect of the culture war.)
Just as most of us pessimistic types realized, online movements are often corrupted into some warped version of themselves – as the white nationalists among us make clear daily as they obsess about race, race, and more race. Often, I’m wondering if they are just as bitter as the BLM types and what the hell is worth preserving of “white” culture – whatever that means these days besides materialism and perpetually shopping till you drop.
What the alt-right originally undertook – the forming of an identity that could rebuild the crumbling foundations of Western culture – has instead been subverted into a shallow identity of “opposition” to the left. Rather than offer up real solutions – with the exception of Vox Day – it’s been reduced down to infighting, blaming, “big government is great if it helps whites”, and ramblings about IQ.
As Davis Aurini points out regarding the eventual subversion and death of online movements:
“Take a group of people – any group of people – and if they lack an explicit purpose for associating, as well as a command and control system to make sure that purpose doesn’t waver, their identity will eventually boil down to the lowest common denominator. And the lowest common denominator for any group is usually the fact that they’re not that other group. Their identity will become something reactionary and negative; by defining themselves as the opposite of that which they oppose, they will eventually allow that other group to define who they are. Often enough, their opposition will do the same thing. Soon enough, you have two groups who are mirror images of one another, fighting one another, and whatever principles or goals that might have started the two groups, are quickly reduced to nothing but slogans, and their former leaders are vilified for holding them back from the fray.”
Even the proposals that do come forth such as Spencer’s white only ethno state aren’t just bad ideas, but will never happen. That of course assumes “white” will mean the same thing in the future as it does today – which means it won’t. What are you left with?
A local community from which you and your neighbors will build an identity. Take everything you learn online and apply it. Avoid repeating the mistakes of your “blue pill” self. History is a great teacher and one that we must constantly come back to for lessons that have stood the test of time.
Our focus must be local. You can’t address your neighbors worldview when his house is falling apart and he doesn’t know where the money is going to come from for his next mortgage payment. Desperation is all around us, but often we are blissfully unaware of it. We forget that the most eager “converts” are those whose lives were previously in shambles, yet now are starting to emerge from the slime and grind of daily life.
No reformation, societal overhaul, or prevention of the fall of what’s left of Western culture will take place until it transforms local communities. Online movements are constantly prone to decay, and ours is no exception. The Neo-Reactionists in our sphere may write as obtuse and high church like manner to keep out entryists and subversion, but they likely will be left behind in their own bubble never pushing the Overton window.
To believe in anything, you must see it impact you and those around you. It is far better to live in happiness with your neighbors then to write in malice toward strangers on either coast. The former will always be with you, while the latter you will never meet. Perhaps we can make the “change” Obama disingenuously never intended.
You Will Need A Support Network
I can’t understate how important this is -especially when your kids are infants and need a lot of time. Many families often relocate to where they can get work. What’s crucial is finding a job where you have family or close friends available that can give you a leg to stand on in hard times, but can help babysit when you and your girl – in my case wife – desperately needs a break.
One or two people wont be enough. People get busy – often when you really need them – and you will need a wide network to ensure it doesn’t happen to you. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and when you have two boys that are 10 months and 4 days apart, that couldn’t be truer. Your family, her family, friends, everyone. People we know have bought us diapers, clothes, even carseats and strollers. Without that help, I don’t know what we would have done.
You want to avoid daycare at all possible costs, but to make ends meet these days, often both parents will have to work. It’s essential you have family, friends and GRANDPARENTS nearby who can babysit and help out. If you aren’t able to have one parent remain at home with your kids, your family and close friends are far more nurturing and key to your kids success later in their lives than a daycare will ever be.
With three months left of our lease, our babysitting situation and inability to get the support we needed caused us to uproot and move back to Illinois and in with some close friends of ours. Now, with my parents nearby, my mom can give us babysitting whenver we need it. This has been essential to both me and my wife getting work and being able to pay off what’s left on our lease back in Missouri.
Again, if you don’t get support, taking care of your kids in their infancy will become an exhausting burden, rather than a blessing and your marriage will be strained as a result. Me and my wife have had plenty of small fights over problems created by exhaustion and the lack of people to help us out.
The fact my mom will babysit at any point means that I can finally take my wife. We can go to the Warped Tour and see her bands. A night out at the drive-in theater becomes a reality, instead of a fond memory. We can never forget what brought us together in the first place.
Swallow Your Pride
Alpha this, alpha that. If you are an “Alpha”, you should have some pride and confidence in yourself and the decisions you make for you family. However, when you screw up, don’t let your pride get the better of you. If you can’t keep a promise, plans blow up, or you legitimately end up causing your wife grief – apologize. Own it. You are a man.
I must admit, I’m a stubborn prideful bastard. So when I’m wrong, it’s hard to admit it. Your wife will respect you if you are willing to admit and own your mistakes. Key here is that you apologize when you screw up – not just apologize for her mistakes or to make her feel better. Only apologize when you do something wrong so it’s significant when you do.
Admit when you are wrong.
Just do it. This one of the rare times, “Man up” should be said. If you want your wife to apologize for the mistakes she does – and not blame you for them, you will have to lead by example. I absolutely suck at this, but lately I’ve been trying to own any actual mistakes I make. When it comes to raising my sons, this will be key. They will look at my example and see if I do what I preach.
Now this doesn’t mean that you should roll-over. (My wife even admitted she’s glad I don’t do everything she says or wants.) If you have to battle, pick your battles and stand your ground when needed.
Manage Your Time
It’s so easy to be lazy and not make use of your rare downtime. I get it, but when things are tight and time is of the essence, do something useful and productive. I love my video games, but the demands and needs of young sons come first. This means keeping on top of giving them baths, getting them fed, changing them, and watching my oldest as he scurries around trying to touch and grab everything. 14 months is indeed an active age.
For instance, I want my wife to be satisfied with cheap easy to make food – which she usually isn’t. To make it easier, I’ll have to spice it up, do the small things, and actually learn more about cooking. ( I work from home.) I’ll also need to do whatever cleaning and stuff needs to be done.
In fact, there was a faucet that had to be replaced. I had to get some extensions for the water supply valves to reach the faucet ends, but I took forever to get around to it because I was lazy. We needed that faucet ready to go. I finally did it, but far later than I should have.
Luckily with that SUPPORT NETWORK that I mentioned earlier, time is a bit easier to manage when they boys are being taken care of by my mom and I’m able to get whatever I need to done around the house that me and my wife are staying.
Me and my wife have sex every single day. That’s no accident. We ENSURE we have the time – that and my wife demands it with her high drive. No matter what happens that day, we MAKE time. If you really value something, you can and will do the same without excuses. This also means that I have to stop making excuses for not getting things done that I should.
Laugh, Love, Live
These are great slogans, but people are usually either too busy or self absorbed with life to actually participate in these. A great support network will help enable you to actually live life. The house me, my wife, and the boys currently live at is the home of my best friends parents who are like my second parents. It’s very similar to living in a multi-generational house and the benefits are immense and tremendous.
We actually talk to each other over food. Laughter, great stories, and that noise of “happiness” can be heard constantly. We are never “Bored”, unlike so many people. There’s always something going and someone to hang out with. Great conversations occur. Often friends and grandparents are over. Board games, bonfires, barbecues outside are staples of our lives. Beer taste better when you are enjoying it with people you love. Having a Wii with Mario Party and Brawl is suddenly a phenomenal thing. We are our own Brady Bunch.
My best friend’s family had four kids and my best friend and his wife have a 3 month old son. (I’d like to think we inspired them to get going) We are going through almost the same stage of life. The naive dream of me and my best friend hanging out with our wives and raising kids is actually happening. I feel like I’m living my own version of Second Hand Lions. It fills me with joy everyday and makes me look forward to waking every morning.
All this makes it easier to raise our two boys with the love, help, and input that my best friends family gives us. I’m constantly learning new things as a dad because of it and me and my wife fight MUCH less than when we lived on our own in Missouri.
One interesting realization is that there’s other people who can hear those fights, so we have to mediate our differences calmly and quickly. It prevents arguments from blowing up into nasty fights and has allowed us to get needed space and conversation with others in the house to take our minds off it.
Regarding that love part; the daily sex that I mentioned earlier helps resolve those fights and constantly bond us together to overcome if either of us have had a bad day, her emotions are at a low, or just our libido is going crazy. It also boosts her confidence in herself and her body – very necessary after having two kids back to back.
When my wife’s particularly cranky, she’s mentioned how she has a stick up her ass and that she needs sex to get rid of it. Sure enough, it works every time. Never forget that little fact when you wonder why she’s mad at you for no reason and you can’t logic at all with her.
Do The Small Things
1. We can be great at having the big picture in mind, but it’s the small details and living of our daily lives that makes all of that happen. It’s those small conversations, memories, and emotions that shape our futures. It’s easy to let the days blend together until you can’t remember what you did last Thursday.
Do something small each day to make it different. Tell you wife you appreciate what she does. Make her a small gift, come up with a quick movie list, and tell her you have a surprise for her – just don’t tell her what it is to the last minute. Never let that spark of romance get lost in the gritty routine of life. Make a date night each week.
2. Plenty of fights me and my wife have gone through were often because she wasn’t feeling “loved”. Every time it comes up, I think to myself, “Seriously?” Simple stuff like saying, “I love you” in the morning, a kiss when she wakes up, a sincere compliment here and there. If she’s looking really good during a moment of the day, TELL HER SO. You’d think that she knows you already love her and think she’s beautiful, but she needs to be reminded of it. She needs your validation and appreciation.
Go beyond her outward beauty and look to her as a whole. It’s easy to see what your spouse does wrong – especially during arguments, but you often forget to compliment and appreciate what she does right. She needs to know everyday that she is making you happy and that she is worth it. Appreciate your wife for the great mother that she is and that the effort she puts in everyday.
You can do it
So many men have become jaded and believe that marriage isn’t worth it and fear losing any kids they do have to divorce and eventual child support via a vicious ex. The risks are there, but the rewards of choosing a life you want to live are there as well.
I don’t make much money. Neither does my wife. But with that support I keep shouting about, anything is possible. You don’t have to be financially “stable” – most of us won’t be for years to come – and in your late 30s till you can get married and even think about kids. Against the current grain, I would advise getting married young and having kids.
It’s far easier to deal with the responsibilities of kids when you are young, then when you are in your 40s and your back is killing you. You also enjoy the wife of your youth in your prime when you are full of energy, hope, and that “spark” that seems to fade as people age.
That essential support network can let you live a life worth living. Be your own man and if a family is what you desire, don’t look back. Keep striving forward. Even though I’m new at being a dad, my boys already have an advantage – they will grow up with a father who loves them, will lead by example, and will always be there.
So many internet tough guys out there tell us how it should be done, how we will change the world, and what Utopias we can envision in a pleasant future. This assumes we’ve gotten over our addiction to schadenfreude to begin our monk like meditation. It’s an addiction worse than heroin for anyone with a smart phone, twitter, and too much time on their jealousy soaked hands. Eventually it breeds a toxicity that you feel yourself drowning in.
Matt Forney and Aurini made this point in a recent stream and they are absolutely right about the detox that we all so desperately need to start.
The problem is that’s it’s everywhere. Zombies with an addiction to digital flesh from internet controversy, gossip, and virtue signaling every which way to settling for rants, mudslinging, meme trolling, and the occasional cat video. Everyone rants about problems, but the thinkers coming up with solutions are left in the web traffic stat dust. Yet again, those who are doing the legwork won’t be likely appreciated until they pass from this mortal coil. Rather we prefer staying in our choir rooms as it preaches to itself for the umpteenth time.
That flesh the zombies consume is fed by a source the Luddites never could foresee – the very internet itself. The web is every sci-fi writer’s greatest fantasy; a shockingly easily wielded tool capable of great good but also terrible evil. No, that’s not even enough of an attempted literary description to give you that vivid picture that should haunt your smart phone attached fingers.
Will we take a break?
Toxicity from it spews everywhere. It’s hard to avoid. Gutters are our everyday walk. We love to see the outspoken fall, but we cry deep tears when it happens to us. Most of what we stand for is often based on telling others what trash they are. While our opposition may be trash, it tires us out. We know there must be more.
Yet it’s brought on by ourselves. We are soaking ourselves in this toxic insanity. People are burnt out. Politics has just turned people even more jaded liches of themselves, but is burning people out. Take that hint and take a break. You can step away and it will all still be there when you get back.
Our addiction to information overload is fueled by a desire to always be in the moment and NEVER miss out. By the way our culture looks these days, it’s stronger than sex. What flurry of information we pick to fill our heads with says alot about us. We dont just allow, but get high off constant distraction. As Neil postman predicted, we are amusing ourselves to death. The addiction almost killed Andrew Sullivan.
That distraction is better than taking action. We can yell from our arm chairs with the latest bit of constant 24/7 gossip and stupid feminists to laugh at, instead of doing anything to create that famed shire culture we frolic about. Laci Green said this and a Jezebel article said that! Who cares. Does this gossip like debunking of progressive nonsense actually do anything? Schadenfreude is amusing, but isn’t there more?
What Are We Doing?
Creation requires effort, risk, and a departure from swiping on tinder and trying to game girls with low self esteem at bars. Any kind of rebuilding or simply building anew of a culture and worldview that wont’ shatter at the foundations means our goals have to be about solutions rather than the rants and criticism that are so easy to vegetate on.
So why are we here in our corners of the manosphere and alt whatever?
“We are here to help men who want to be helped to lead better and more enjoyable lives.” – Lizard Of Oz
If this is truly our goal, we are in serious danger of losing our way.
Even on our much revered forum of the manosphere, so much of the talk revolves around laughing about the pain of progressive SJWs, fat feminists who are LITERALLY slowly eating themselves to death, and women who too late realized that their corporate jobs didn’t care about them when they considered having a family. Instead…“HAHA! Stupid bitch deserved it!” Poetic justice I guess. On to the next one. Is this really our high?
Hell I recall an article by feminist Julie Bindel who was worried that feminism was in danger of becoming toxic – a point it’s far past – because of how vicious it’s twitter army had gotten. That toxicity – though from an entirely flawed and vicious worldview can be seen in our own pastures as we lob grenades into their trenches.
Sure it feels good, but in the end, what are we doing to help men become better? To get out of their predicaments? To help rebuild the shattered teenager getting out of highschool whose feminized teachers ensure he will be a virgin into his 30s and end up stuck in that “anger” phase, even if does find the red pill?
We need to detach from the venom before it’s all that’s left of us.
At the core we forget the human element of all of this and that you can catch far more flies with honey than with vinegar, even if that vinegar burn is as entertaining as Mister Metokur’s takedowns. Case in point is a Kid Strangelove post on Matt Forney’s site:
“So invite you, my dear reader, to make a commitment with me. Let’s all be good guys. Let’s try to spread as much care and joy to other people as we can. Let’s be good, positive human beings. Because it is through this goodness that our message can spread and become more accepted. It is through this goodness that our message, our stories, our lessons, will have a new audience. It is through this goodness that we help our fellow man.”
Our addiction ends up being to the vinegar. It’s sad.
We have to detach ourselves from the digital monster, before we become it. In fact, this is a fate that is being seen across the spectrum. I’ve made an effort over time to do just that. Every day, I’ll just take in the scenes around me, the flush of chattering voices, smiles, roars, and the attempt of people to just get through their day.
What I’ve realized makes me somewhat ashamed.
Broken people. Everywhere. It’s just that the online addicts have it the worst. Even when they venture into that sunlight, their thoughts are consumed digital anticipation. Their friendships based around ideologies that could deliver betrayals worse than Judas.
It’s no way to live.
At some point, I just want to help them. I know these people in real life. Their online pitchforks gleam in the blood red moonlight, yet when you see the downtrodden looks in their faces after a tedious job they hate has gut punched them yet another day. Longing for something as real as the feeling of sand sifting between your fingers.
At some point, I long for healing.
Hopefully sooner, rather than later. Look at where we are at in history and you’ll notice we are in a downturn in the cycle. This open nastiness and toxicity we see is just merely part of the beginning stage. It will get much worse. Hopefully some of our “enemies” realize that when shit in the fans, they are just as human as we are.
Now I as well as the rest of you are sick of being attacked day in and day out by liberal types, hit pieces from the media, and virtue signalers who throw us under the bus rather the risk the “wrong” associations. Thing is there are tons of them out there. You can’t really do much to swim back up against the current.
What you can do however is reserve your own grenades for those who attack your friends, family, and the men you choose to stand with. Always stand by them through the darkest of times and reserve your attacks for those who come for their livelihoods. However, for the rest of those around us, enjoy each day as it comes.