Two ways to deal with the raging emotions of your pregnant wife.

What happens to your old hobbies? They vanish as you and your spouse both envision strangling each other – but don’t.

My pregnant wife in her natural habitat. Ice cream. Facebook. And not directing emotional rages toward me.
My pregnant wife in her natural habitat. Ice cream. Facebook. And not directing emotional rages toward me.

The above picture is of my wife in her natural habitat – the bath.  To pacify her in this time of emotional tyranny, I gave her ice cream and let her chow down right out of the container.  I even promised not to make fun of her for it – a promise I’ve somewhat kept.     She even had her phone to scroll through Facebook.

I used this precious and rare time to play my current favorite game – Fallout 4 – modded because I have joined the PC master race.  Kid in a candystore, but this was one of my final pieces.

Welcome to marriage – pregnancy stage. Prepare yourself gentlemen.

My problem isn’t one that most men complain of – a lack of sex.  We average sex twice a day.  It’s my pride, the way our fights escalate, the hobbies I don’t want to give up, and the fact that I keep forgetting my wife is my wife – pregnant and not someone you can reason with.  Speaking in generalities, women respond to emotions and men to logic – though I’m seeing alot more emotional men these days.  I keep forgetting this.

Because I don’t want to be a complete loser, I’m trying to develop more productive hobbies – which does suck. I miss my video games, and I resent the amount of time I’ve been forced to give up playing them – regardless of how “mature” it makes me.

When I get home from work, I want to be lazy. I suppose now that I am a father with one son and another on the way, it is time to be responsible and look into new hobbies that my kids will share with me once they get a bit older.

That video game, I want to play it, without condemnation, nagging, or weird bouts of jealousy that I can drink alcohol and she can’t.  To this end, I am in her crosshairs – if she can’t have fun, I can’t either.  Now this is illogical, wrong, and plain out vicious, but that doesn’t matter.  She’s pregnant and emotional.

My lovely nympho wife will nag me about productivity – which is escalated depending on how bad her pregnancy hormones are that day. Alas, it has me writing more.  While I’ve sacrificed my prized video game time, my sex life is that of envy – we average twice a day with passionate bouts of love.

Today, I bring to you the subject of surviving your first year of marriage with a pregnant wife.   If you are with a women who is pregnant, throw out everything you know about her before she decided to carry your offspring.  Prepare for hell on emotional wheels of wrath.

Her raging, vicious, and unpredictable moodswings are now your problem.  She may start crying randomly, and by the end of it taking swings at you because of her rantings about her parents or yours. I’m not even referring to the verbal wrath that you will incur in the process – that’s just a bonus.   So what do you do?

You can’t reason with the beast. You can’t argue with it.

But you can pacify it.  As a man, it’s one of the most important tools you can learn to use when you have a family.
Behold, I give to you my fellow men, a weapon with which to master her emotions in their raw and uncontrollable state (1); the manly, yet smooth,  alluring, and sexual hug.

Now I’m a proud and stubborn man, and when my wife has either hit me or attacked me in the most vicious way with perfectly chosen words to inflict the most damage to my sanity, I don’t want to hug her.  (In fact I want to hit her back after she’s hit me.)  Again, muh pride.

Shockingly, I swore I would never allow a woman to do this to me.  Yet as she is my wife and the mother of my children, my tolerance for BS has gone up – because I love her.  Love changes things. It really does.  I am a proponent of the manosphere, but my wife is my wife, not just another plate.  (Also, dread game is a NO when your wife is pregnant, plus my wife is already very jealous and will beat up other women for looking at me wrong. )

I want to fight back with the nastiest words in my arsenal possible to make her feel the same anguish. “Hurts doesn’t it?”

Indeed it does, especially when she’s pregnant.  Of course, she will remember those fights far into the future and berate you later with, “You said these terrible things to me when I was pregnant,” regardless of any words of war directed at you, the suffering father.

Women fight very well with words, a favor I can return. But should I?  Should a pregnant women hear anything anything else that will make her emotions scream?  Stress is also an issue and it can cause miscarriages.  My pride though.  It’s very angry and upset.  It’s been unjustly wounded. Yet again, I swallow it, or at least I should.

Hug her tight – from behind and then move to the front. Slowly massage her shoulders and lower back.  Get her calmed down. Physical touch will do what the most logical of words will not.  Kiss her neck, suck on her earlobe a bit. Then notice what starts to happen.  Her face changes.

Your other weapon (2) : Angry frustrated pent up sex.  

When women are pregnant, their raging hormones need to be released. They are bottled up like a kid holding his breath. Sexist sounding or not, the truth is the truth.   So take control of the situation and arouse your wife in the process.

Those raging hormones? Well, release them. Direct them toward the bed. Or couch. Or bathroom.

If your wife already has a high sex drive, pregnancy will GREATLY escalate it.  So grab  her pants, and drop them down.  Get aggressive. Wrestle with her in that bed. Or on the floor.  Your video games may suffer, but your sex life will rise to new hard peaks.

So many of our fights could have been de-escalated, but since I was mad at her from her either hitting me or trashing me, I didn’t want to have sex with her – I was too livid. I had too much pride.   A simple hug and escalation to sex could have solved it.

I must admit, she’s even told me to hug her and hold her tight – and also to pull her pants down when we are fighting. In this, me and her are different.   My anger at that moment, I must swallow.   She doesn’t need words of logic about why she is being an unreasonable bitch -something she knows as well.  She needs a hug and to be led to the bedroom.

Never underestimate the power of sex.

Learn from me, swallow your anger at that moment, and pound it out deep.  Never has there been a more perfect time for a spanking in that love making. She will love you, and you will love her.

I wish you luck gentlemen.

For further advice on many at matter to do with marriage, I highly suggest TheFamilyAlpha and AverageMarriedDad, each with their own kind of approach.

14 Replies to “Two ways to deal with the raging emotions of your pregnant wife.”

  1. My cousin had a unicorn pregnancy: no morning sickness, no bad back, no incidents of potty training regression. Right up until she gave birth you couldn’t even see a bump unless she wore skintight clothing (and no, she’s not fat; I’d describe her as average, but these days with the landwhale epidemic she’s probably on the skinny side of average). Most relevantly to this article: no mood swings. No irrational attacks, no floods of tears, no bitchiness. So her husband, his friends and I were all thinking “Well, all those other women must be putting it on because they know they can get away with it. Guess all it takes to overcome pregnancy hormones is an Alpha Husband who lets his wife know that he won’t put up with her shit just because she’s pregnant.”

    And then a week after she’s had her son, the hormones hit. She spent a good 2 weeks holed up in her bedroom crying into an ice cream tub. She got over it soon enough though, and never directed her negative emotions at anyone else: she just kept to herself as much as possible and refused all unnecessary visitors on the basis that she needed time to recover from giving birth (keeping to herself the fact that it was mental rather than physical recovery she needed, though her husband told me the truth).

    Though a lot of that might have been due to the fact that she was effectively separated from her son for all but an hour a day till he was a month old because he was born six weeks early so spent the first month of his life in NICU. Frankly, I’d be more concerned about the fitness of any mother who DIDN’T show any kind of grief over being separated from her newborn baby.

    TL;DR: Not all women turn into bitchy beasts just because they’re pregnant. I’m sure that some women really do struggle with the cocktail of hormones pregnancy brings, but I bet a good number of them could control themselves for the most part if they had to.

    1. Lucky him, right?

      Each woman is a bit different in how they handle their pregnancies. Sometimes though, I do think they use it as an excuse to get away with atrocious behavior.

      Our son was also in the NICU for 3 weeks, and my wife had mini-breakdowns during the time in which she would burst into tears because she couldn’t hold him yet. I ended up being the person she kept blaming for it for some reason.

      Later on she wondered why I didn’t just hug her at the time and tell her “Everything is going to be fine.” I realized I essentially missed a bunch of comfort tests and what she needed instead of words was hugs.

      Post partum is real though. Those pent up emotions have to go somewhere. Hopefully, we can divert them into sex instead of our wives dishing it out on us instead.

  2. I’ve survived my wife’s two pregnancies, the second of which was with twins. Totally agree you got to learn to roll with the punches. Hormones rage out of control when a woman is pregnant and it’s one of those phases of the marriage that can make or break you. I kept small Hostess cakes hidden around the house so I always had one on hand when things swung in the wrong direction.

    1. I’m trying the chocolate approach myself. (Reses and Kit-kats) Those pregnancy hormones are something you can’t really argue with is what I’ve realized. The fact we are having irish twins makes it that much more hormonal.

      Definitely got to roll with those punches. I figure after this pregnancy, it should get easier.

      1. It’s easier for a while until the get to the point of running around the house. Hope neither of you are OCD about keeping the house clean because they will turn an immaculate room to a disaster area in under 5 minutes. I call my 3 girls “the little tornadoes” for good reason.

  3. Hi Lucas,

    I found this blog through your article “Do You Really Want To Be A Patriarch?” on ROK. Excellent article, by the way! I am writing to you here because I didn’t see a way to contact you through ROK.

    I am writing because I want to be a wife to a patriarch and build a legacy together via a strong, healthy family.

    My question is, where are wannabe-wifeys supposed to meet such men? I know they’re out there, but where?

    Also, how do I make sure that I am the best wife material I can be?

    This is a very serious matter to me, seeing as the course of the rest of my life hinges on finding a good mate. I don’t want to be a “plate”, but I am immersed in a culture where platehood is condoned and even encouraged, and I don’t want to be someone who caves to it because I’ve lost hope of finding a good man. Who knows how many like-minded men and women have given up hope? It’s tragic. Anyway, I would greatly appreciate any guidance you can offer.

    Thank you sincerely.

    1. Some quick tidbits for today. More later.

      1. Attraction

      The manosphere as well as many dating sites and gurus have a system they call “Sexual Market Value” or SMV for short. You need to look at yours very honestly and contrast it against the SMV of the men you want to attract.

      Put simply if you are 5, it will be hard to attract men who consider to be 5s. Obviously, you want to attract men who you feel are attractive. Physical connection is extremely important for a long term marriage. My wife is very into me and it’s made our sex life strong – which has been key in ending our fights and getting us through that pregnancy stage.

      2. The right places

      Just as you can’t find a wife in a brothel – or these days a bar, nightclub, etc. – you cant find a husband either. If you want to avoid players and look for the quality men, they’ll likely be in church type setting, hobbyists that often involve physical work, trips, and even men in the trades.

      When you see men who often prefer the company of other men – and I’m not talking about homosexuals – you have an opening as well as the inclination you probably aren’t dealing with player types. (Also, even the plainest looking girl is easily the most attractive in an environment where only men often are.)

      If you do decide to date Red Pill aware men, have a set of expectations for yourself.

      3. Take the initiative.

      See a man that really stands out to you? Better get him before some other women does. Some of the studies they’ve done indicate women find only 20% of men above average in terms of attraction. Essentially, you are competing for that 20%, which is very very difficult.

      If you can get past looks to some extent and find qualities that will stand out, you can find yourself a gem.

      Holding out in regards to having sex might not be a bad option, though admittedly me and my wife had premarital sex. So if you are going to have sex with a guy, make sure its for the long haul. Let him know where you stand in terms of commitment.

      4. Sorting through the dating pool

      There are a few videos by Stefan molyneux on dating, and he brings up an important point: Be as open and upfront about who you are and what you want for your future so that you can drive away men who don’t share similar goals and attract ones that do. This will save you a lot of time and possible heart ache in the modern meat market that is dating.

      If a man wants a family, he will tell you. Keep this on your mind to do the same when you see a man you like. See who he is, what he wants, and if both of you have the same future in mind.


      Don’t marry for just love. It’s important, but in today’s culture, it’s quite fleeting when the waters get rough. Maybe its 50% of what the relationship needs, but you also need compatibility, a similar worldview, and someone who will appreciate you for the family mindset you have for the future.

  4. I’ve been reading the manosphere for nearly 7 years now. In the past year I nearly ran out of blogs to read. A lot of it became the same old same old, not progressing past plates, reading body language/facial features, and other things mostly towards the end of getting laid. While that’s great, I also want a family and kids.

    And while Married Man Sex Life was interesting, at the time I read it, I wasn’t among its intended audience and it got old.

    Now here – here’s something I’ve not yet read about (with the exception of isolated instances).


    1. Hopefully, I can share with you some of the stuff that’s gotten to me to the point I am now.

      Much of the manosphere stuff we’ve come to ingest is well known to us. However, you get to a certain point where you wonder, “Whats next?” It’s not necessarily player burnout, but just being tired of it all. You want a break, but also something more.

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