Jax was only six weeks old when his bones were broken. His brain started to bleed internally from being thrown very hard onto a bed. His throat was permanently damaged when his father tried to stop him from crying by shoving his fingers down his throat attempting to find his voice box. Jaxon would never be the same.
UPDATE 2: More information has come out that hints that Jaxon may have been abused since birth. Drugs may have been part of it, but this was just the culmination that ended up taking Jax’s life.
UPDATE 3: (ALSO: A commentor has hinted that Jax’s father Robert had a history of this kind of violence and had tried to kill his brother. ) Further reading via the DailyMail: “His parents told police that he’d tried to kill his own brother in various ways over the years – including beating and stabbing him as well as trying to drown and smother him.”
In this case, Robert did one snap too far. “According to court records, he has also spent time in mental health institutions for severe anger issues. ” The signs weren’t taken seriously.
Child abuse is a term lightly thrown around in our time which is rife with potshots at spanking, mothers threatened for letting their kids play at the park, and parents who take away their teens Iphones and ground them from Tumblr, but the story you are about to hear is a case of real abuse. Deathly abuse.
THIS IS A CAUTIONARY TALE.
I don’t “identify” with Jax’s parents. We should simply recognize that everyone has a snapping point and to make sure we know ours. 99% of us even in our worst moment when we do snap will NEVER do anything as terrible to our kids as Jax’s did to him. We should still know our breaking points. That’s the point of this entire post.
When something this awful happens, we should see what can learn from it rather then post some momentary outraged posts on Faceberg and then move on to the next story 24 hours later.
Abuse like this is always horrible and vile, but we are fooling ourselves if we believe we are all above and beyond it. Obviously, Jax’s father in particular bordered on vile – considering he did attempt to kill his parents and his brother, from what I’ve read – so I wonder if Jax actually ever stood much of a chance at life.
IMPORTANT: A lesson here is to be LEARNED. This post is NOT interested in any kind of justification for the abuse of Jaxon by his parents, rather it’s devoted to ensuring it doesn’t happen to another innocent child. When horrific tragedies occur, we must learn from them – even if we aren’t any of the monsters that caused or participated in them.
Of course none of us are like his father or his mother.
However we are fooling ourselves if we think we might never just have that one brief moment. Everyone has a breaking point – again nothing on the level that happened to Jax. Find it, know it, and make sure you never reach it.
Know yourself, know the signs, and know when to take a break. Never convince yourself that the stress won’t get to you: that you’re special. You might think you’d never be capable of this, but how many people do you know who you thought would never be capable of abuse ended up being abusive?
Many of the pictures below have been making their rounds on Facebook. My wife showed me the below. Blood is on his bib. His parents look almost clueless as to what’s happened.
Jax probably won’t make it. If he does, he will have severe mental and physical disabilities. EDIT: We can now confirm he has passed from the brutality of this world and into one that is far better.
His mother didn’t do anything to stop it. She would later claim that she was scared of Jax’s father as well of her father killing Jax’s dad as to why she remained silent and didn’t alert anyone to what was happening. Whether this is completely true, we don’t know.
What happened here is a tragedy, but a human story that needs to be told. Truth be told, we could become like Jax’s parents in a moment that is just too much to bear. Honestly, I don’t think they ever thought they were capable of this, and now the heartbreak is to set in. They can’t take it back.
Now, everyone is a critic these day’s when it comes to parenting. I recall a recent story where people recoiled in disdain as one man explained how he knew a father who used to put his screaming son in a carseat and leave him in the bathroom with the fan on until he stopped crying. IF only Jaxon’s parent’s could have done this instead. Know your limits.
So terrible huh?
As parents, we do feel bad when our children cry, especially when they are infants. But sometimes, there isn’t much you can do. If you have had a child who is just starting to go through teething, you know what I mean.
You give your kid some infant tylenol, comfort them as much as possible, and the put them in their crib. Often, they cry themselves to sleep because of how tired they get. Yep, that sounds kind of bad, “Crying themselves to sleep”, but its how babies fall asleep. If that doesn’t work, perhaps the whirring white noise of a fan in the bathroom might do the trick. At some point, you need to sleep.
If we are dead honest, all parents have wanted to do this at some point. It makes them normal, human, and capable of getting stressed out instead of the superparents we read about on blogs that seem like a sitcom fairytale.
When your child has been screaming all night, you are dead tired, stressed, and exhausted, this seems more and more like a better option. In fact, sometimes you just need to walk away from the room for a few minutes, regain your composure, and let your headache ease just a bit.
Some deem it cruel, but let’s look at what happens when parents who don’t do the above finally snap. Below is a picture of Jaxon “Jax” James Burnette, a 6 week old baby who will probably won’t live much longer.
Take a look at this picture and ask, “What happened?”
A mother lost her maternal instinct to protect her young and never bothered to stop the father, who lost his paternal instinct in a fit of rage at some point. For instance, from another source:
“She admitted she lied at the hospital, telling doctors she didn’t know how the baby was injured. Police say she never showed emotion during their interrogation. She referred to her son not by his name but by “the kid” or “the baby.”
Look at the picture above one more time. It’s as if she doesn’t realize his suffering or what’s happened. I’m kind of shocked everytime, I look at it.
Perhaps these are terrible people who were not meant to be parents. It’s one thing to look like junkies, but its another to let those drugs destroy the bond a parent has for their child.
It’s easy to hate them. But, again what if we became them? Are they really this cold? Could we ever become this cold if we just snapped? It’s a scary thought.
These parents; I don’t believe they are as evil as we want them to be. I’m not justifying their actions; I just see how easily it could be for parents to snap at some point and to this.
I’ll let STLToday give you the morbid details:
WENTZVILLE • A man from Wentzville shoved his fingers down the throat of his 6-week-old son. He wanted to find the baby’s voice box and stop him from crying.
More abuse followed. The baby was thrown onto a bed. Shaken violently. Picked up by the back of his neck.
All the while the baby’s mother watched and made no effort to get help.
That’s the harrowing account spelled out in St. Charles County court records documenting the abuse against the infant boy, identified only as J.B.
The boy was still alive on Friday morning but “extremely critical,” the prosecutor’s office said. He was in protective custody and being treated at Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital for, among other things, bleeding on the brain and broken bones. Doctors have told police it’s “a likely possibility” the boy will die.
J.B. is Jaxon James Burnette It’s likely that he may never see his father again. Another dysfunctional nightmare story if the kid survives. I’ve only been a parent for 7 months, but I can safely say – don’t try to be a superhero mom or dad.
Be a parent who realizes that sometimes you need a break, that the carseat and bathroom might not be a bad idea, and that sometimes, you just have to let them cry.
This doesn’t make you bad parents. It makes you smart, compassionate, and aware ones. Composure and patience will become welcome friends. You aren’t a bad parent. Just one that needs to walk out of the room for a bit, so you don’t snap. Raising a kid is hard enough for two parents. Most of us don’t have that village we need, family close by, etc.
This isn’t to say you are like Jax’s parents, it’s just that the edge is a bit closer you might realize when the crying has gotten your head pounding, your wife crabby, and your sleep has been shortened.
What happened to Jax scared me. I think we all have just enough of an inner demon in us to do something like this. Most parents will insist that they could never do anything like this… I think they are just scared to consider they could be capable of something this heartbreaking – especially when you see Jax’s face. I thought about my son being in his place and it almost brought me to tears.
We just need the courage to admit that we need a break to prevent us from ever getting close to this possibility. Don’t let yourself go down the path. Don’t let yourself believe you are a superparent above this kind of stress. It’s not an admission of guilt – its a recognition of the daily demands that we as parents have.
Now Robert may have been a creature of severe anger, hate, and now murder. If you know you have anger problems, don’t let yourself get to the place where they can manifest!!! Take a break! Walk away for a moment. The come right back.
Deus Vult brothers.