On my WP feed, an important post was made on a blog I follow called , “A Holistic Journey“. The blogger, alohaleya, recently wrote a post, My Fiction Put Me In Debt, in which she talks about the effects of resentment in her life toward her father as well as feeling shame for holding others responsible.
What specifically caught my attention was the following:
“I’m the one who’s chosen to interpret my life events as I have. I’m the one who’s assigned deep meaning to old memories…and this meaning no longer serves. For years, I viewed my dad in a certain way because I’d trained myself to see only what supported my stories.“
Often we get stuck in this kind of rut that resembles our own personal bubble which we alone shape. We end up forming a narrative that specifically is based off what we allow ourselves to focus on. This isn’t something to be judged for as much as its just a fact of life for every individual. What alohaleya did here is to recognize it. The sooner we recognize this, the sooner we can actually attempt to take control of our lives.
“But I am ashamed of how I’ve held others responsible for the situations I’ve created. I’m now seeing the power I have to choose and to create differently.”
For those of us willing to admit it, we have all gone through this. I have realized something however; it’s important to take responsibility for the situations we are in, because even if we can lay the blame 100% squarely on the shoulders of someone else – even if they are completely fault – you are still in that nasty situation regardless of who is at blame.”
It doesn’t magically get better or go away, even if we feel better if someone else takes the “blame”. Our society – particularly in America – teaches us to blame someone else and use that blame to appeal to others for help. In other words, you are forced to depend on others to make your life better. Will doing that actually improve the situation that you are in? (Not just financially, but your life in general?)
I find her post inspirational. Life is short. Very short. I came across the story of Lauren Hill, a girl whose dream to play basketball, will ultimately be ended by her brain cancer which gives her only a few weeks to live. Put yourself in a situation where you only have a few weeks to live. Would you hold on to the problems of the past? Or move on to the future? Stay strong alohaleya and keep growing.
“To Move On, Is To Grow.”