The Writer’s Block of Life.

They say you should always practice what you are good at. I’m good at writing, or at least I tell myself I am.  When it comes to the concept of practice and applying said practice to writing, I just don’t do it. Instead I content myself to do fabulous life fulfilling routines like working at Menards and Trinity.  You know you are going places when you are working part-time.

Let’s talk brass tax – pure honesty; I’m lazy.  I’m not lazy… when it comes to working, though I’m close to it.  Rather, I’m lazy when it comes to being a productive in any department.  That rare productivity that manifests itself in me consists of playing Star Wars: The Old Republic.  I’m actually kind of bad at that too and it’s because I’m too lazy to really learn the game, even though I’m investing alot of hours into it.   I do this instead of being responsible and going to sleeping and getting up early in the morning to catch the worm.  No, I catch that really late night insect with my owl eyes.  Responsibility? What’s that? Yep, age definitely doesn’t make one mature. (That’s me.)

So I’ve essentially turned into one of those “Do as I say, not what I do” sort of people. Especially when it comes to practicing something I tell myself I really like – writing.  Then there is of course some other tidbits that also applies to:

  • My tendency to not communicate well. That happens when you are lazy. It isn’t deliberate, but it is most certainly due to my lack of effort.
  • I’m a perfectionist. I didn’t even know I was. Apparently, I’m the kind that is too lazy to complete things if I ever start them because they must be perfect. Convenient excuse that is.
  • I’m content to do the same things, barely get them done, but not get any better at them a.k.a practice.
  • I keep telling myself I need to write every day. I keep finding other things to do instead of writing every day. I can’t hone my craft if I’m not willing to invest the time in it. Again I’m lazy. How many excuses can one man, I mean boy, have? Way too many and its even worse when I’m only really accountable to myself.  That just made me realize how low my standards are for myself. I can feel the self-esteem flowing through me.

Maybe, I really do have a lack of discipline. There are so many things, well at least a few, I could do if I bothered to invest the time and effort into them. Somehow I lack that motivation. It is as if I have writer’s block, but its my overall life.

So how do you overcome this kind of “writer’s block”? Beats me apparently, because I still can’t motivate myself enough even though I tell myself at work everyday, “Do something productive when you get home.”  I get home and I do nothing productive.

By the way, what I am doing right now instead of sleeping? Playing Star Wars and feeding my bad habits. Seriously, I lack discipline though Menards doesn’t lack my 9 AM arrival on its schedule.

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